


The New Adventures of Invader Zim: Season 2

by ZimsMostLoyalServant



Series: The New Adventures of Invader Zim [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Action/Adventure, BAMF Gaz (Invader Zim), Bounty Hunters, Conventions, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Episode Style, F/M, Fantasy, Gen, Humor, Mirror Universe, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rebellion - Slow Burn, Renegade Zim, Road Trips, Science Fiction, Secret Police, Story Arc, The Resisty Resisting Against the Irken Empire (Invader Zim), Three-way fights, Tournaments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 124,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21748393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZimsMostLoyalServant/pseuds/ZimsMostLoyalServant
Summary: Norlock might be gone, but the adventures continue. New action, new laughs, new allies and enemies, and more!
Relationships: Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib & Tak (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib (Invader Zim) & Original Character(s), Dib (Invader Zim)/Original Character(s), Gaz & Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz (Invader Zim) & Original Character(s), Invader Skoodge & Zim, Tak & Invader Tenn (Invader Zim), Tak & Zim (Invader Zim), The Almighty Tallest & Zim, Zim (Invader Zim) & Original Character(s)
Series: The New Adventures of Invader Zim [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1408714
Comments: 10
Kudos: 10





	1. New Doom, Same as the Old Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New allies come to Earth in search of Zim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And welcome, one and all, to Season 2 of The New Adventures of Invader Zim!
> 
> But before we get started, a few things to note: first of all, unlike Season 1, this season's counterpart on Fanfiction.Net is still ongoing. So, I will update weekly until I catch up with that version, at which point this copy will update whenever the new chapters come out, for which there'll be no regular schedule. Fair warning.
> 
> Secondly, this first chapter introduces two OCs who will be main parts of the cast going forward. However, they are not originally mine; they were created by nightmaster000 over on FFN, who offered them to me to use, which I was happy to do so. Just wanted to be clear on that for the record. Oh, and on that note, a reminder that the character Senior belongs to SaintHeartwing (or ngrey651 as he's known here on AO3), and is used with his full permission.
> 
> That's all for now. Read on!

It was a new, bright and sunny day in Doomsville. At the Membrane household, Dib and Gaz were seated at the kitchen table, idly eating breakfast while focused on other matters. Gaz, of course, was tapping away on her Game Slave, while Dib was writing in a journal, jotting down notes on his latest fight.

It had been a relatively quiet couple of months since the fight in Siberia. Oh, sure, there had been the hypnotic weenie incident, and the flock of rabid seagulls, and the sentient mutant zucchini monster. But compared to the chaotic period when Norlock had been egging on Zim's conquest attempts, it had all been relatively tame. And that, right there, was the crux of what had Dib's current obsessive focus.

All the recent monster attacks and world takeover plots had been carried out by Tak and Tenn. Sure, Zim had usually shown up, to defy his rivals' attempts, flinging insults all the while, but he himself hadn't actually enacted any plans of his own lately. In fact, according to Dib's surveillance cameras, aside from attending skool to keep up appearances, Zim hadn't even left his house recently. And him laying low for a long period was _never_ a good sign.

"What is Zim up to?" Dib mused out loud, lightly tapping his pencil against the journal, "He's had months to put something together, but it's like he's just reacting instead of acting. He has to be planning _something_ , but what?"

"I don't care. Shut up," Gaz responded, not looking up from her game or her cereal.

"Gaz, this is serious!" Dib exclaimed, waving around his pencil for emphasis, "Zim doesn't just sit around doing nothing. And Norlock might be gone, but he still taught Zim plenty to make him even more dangerous than he ever was."

"That's not saying much," Gaz replied dryly, "Besides, you ever think maybe he just finally grew a brain and realized that without a badass vampire or a superweapon he can't win, and just gave up?"

"Now you just sound like Steve and Viera," Dib said, rolling his eyes. That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, as it elicited a glare from his sister.

"Don't _ever_ compare me to your bitch girlfriend," she growled. Dib, who had just started to drink some of his orange juice, promptly spat it out in an impressive spray; fortunately for his health, none of it hit Gaz.

"Wha- she is _not_ my girlfriend!" he practically yelled, cheeks flushing brightly.

"Whatever," Gaz snorted, slight amusement at Dib's reaction nullifying her anger at his comparing her to her hated nemesis. Downing the last of her cereal, she got up from the table to dump the bowl in the sink for the auto-cleaner to handle, and then left the room. Dib meanwhile, glowered after her in embarrassed anger for a moment, before huffing in annoyance and shaking his head to return himself to his original train of thought.

Despite Gaz's sarcastic dismissals, and his friends' more understanding yet naive views, he _knew_ Zim would never just throw in the towel just because he'd lost an asset. He'd regroup, start over from scratch if necessary, and then come back swinging hard. And after everything Norlock had taught him, Dib was extremely worried about just what he'd be swinging with.

Still, he was at least willing to admit that there was nothing he could do about it right now. In the meantime, he'd just continue on as he had been, dealing with Tak and Tenn's newest plans as they came and staying alert for when Zim made his move.

That course of action settled on, Dib finished up his breakfast and set about getting ready for skool.

_The Massive, Same Time_

Onboard the bridge of the Armada flagship, the Tallest were reclining on their thrones, sipping sodas as they looked to the main screen, which was currently displaying the main control room of Tak and Tenn's base. The pair in question were standing in front of a object the size of a double-decker bus, which was currently covered by a large tarp. MIMI stood off to the side, apparently waiting to pull the tarp off.

"So, what _brilliant_ new plan have you two come up with this week?" Red asked dryly, the females both wincing slightly at the unspoken accusation in those words. However, they braced themselves and carried on with their presentation.

"My Tallest," Tak spoke first, "While I admit that our efforts to conquer this primitive planet have been… less than optimal, they have been informative."

"Of what? That your plans fail almost as often as Zim's used to?" Purple asked. Tak's eyes visibly twitched at that, and her mouth twisted into a snarl, but before she could instinctively spit out something she might end up regretting, Tenn quickly stepped in.

"What we've learned, my Tallest, is that overt attempts to outright seize control of the planet won't work on a small scale," she said, "It leaves too much room for enemy forces to move in and counteract them before they can be fully effective."

"And by 'enemy forces', I'm assuming you're referring to those human smeets and Zim's little traitor group?" Red asked, "Still not very impressed that you haven't managed to deal with any of them yet."

"You're highly underestimating how effective the humans are, for all their lack of training, my Tallest," Tenn protested as politely as she could, "And Zim… well, we all know how disruptive he is even when he _isn't_ actively malicious, like he's being with us."

"Good point," Purple admitted, "Though I still can't believe he hasn't given up on that ridiculous rebellion idea and come crawling back to us."

"He's far too egotistical to ever do that, my Tallest," Tak spoke up, having regained her composure, "Regardless, if I may return to what Tenn was saying? We've realized that we have two real options for operations going forward — either work slowly and more subtly, or go all out in the biggest way we can. And that's what we've done!"

With that, Tak waved to MIMI, who responded by pulling back on the tarp, which fell away to reveal what looked like a giant turbine engine.

"Behold, the Pan-Chemical Global Conversion Engine!" Tak said, "Once activated, it will release a planet-wide transfiguration wave, which will cause the chemical composition of all targeted liquids to transform into whatever we wish!"

"In this case, that means turning all the water on Earth into caramel sugar," Tenn elaborated, "That much acidy sugar will melt all life on the planet, leaving it ripe for the Armada to move in and take over."

"Plus, it'll effectively turn the entire planet into one big piece of candy," Tak added, "It's not the same as the giant snack container I originally promised you when I first came here, my Tallest, but I think it's the next best thing."

"Oooh, okay, now _that's_ pretty awesome!" Purple said, rubbing his hands together excitedly and causing the pair of Invaders to preen.

"Meh, it's okay," Red commented, instantly deflating the pair and causing Purple to glare at him.

"'Okay'?" he echoed, "It's not 'okay', it's incredible! They're going to turn a whole _planet_ into _candy!_ You're just being a jerk about it because you don't like caramel!"

"That has nothing to do with it," Red replied, getting annoyed, "And for the trillionth time, it's pronounced car-a-mel, not car-mel, you idiot!"

"Is not! The 'a' is silent, like the 'k' in knife!" Purple protested.

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it is!"

"…Uh, my Tallest?" Tenn hesitantly spoke up, trying to get their attention, while next to her Tak was face-palming at the display.

"I wouldn't bother. This little pronunciation debate's been going on for years, it's not stopping any time soon," Senior commented from his console, smirking in mild amusement.

_SCREECH!_

And then he and all the other communications officers were wincing in pain, clutching at their cranial implants, which were suddenly giving off squeals of feedback. Seconds later, every screen on the bridge went to static for a moment, before they resolved into the same image — the Irken letters for N, I, and O, stylized to form a rough triangle, in black on a red field. For a moment nothing else happened, and then with a flicker of static a figure appeared in front of that banner, the by-now familiar cloaked-and-masked person known as "Miz".

" ** _My fellow Irkens, this is Miz speaking,_** " Miz said in his digitally-altered voice.

"Ugh, this guy again?" Purple muttered.

"Quiet!" Red shushed his partner, while glaring at the screen.

" ** _Today, I wish to talk to you about the hoarding and waste of resources by our so-called 'Almighty' Tallest,_** " Miz said, " ** _Are you all aware that the Massive alone contains enough snack supplies to provide every Irken on an average Imperial planet a full day's worth of meals, for an entire year? And that there are countless more supply depots just like it across the Empire? And yet, all that food is stored and locked away, to only be used by the Tallest themselves and any Elites whom they deign 'worthy'. Meanwhile, across the Empire — even onboard the Massive itself — non-Elites have to scrape by every day just to avoid starvation._** "

"That's why it's called being 'Elite'! You get perks!" Purple protested.

"You know he can't hear you, right?" Red asked dryly, causing Purple to stick his tongue out at him.

" ** _But it need not be this way, my brothers and sisters,_** " Miz continued, " ** _When the New Irken Order rises, all Irkens will be able to partake in the benefits and privileges of our race's natural dominance of the universe. We will all feast like never before, and never again worry about our hard-earned food being taken out of our mouths by those who have done nothing to deserve it. And we can achieve this dream, my brethren! We need only to work together. Rise up and fight! Bring the Tallest and their corrupt system to their knees! And when it all comes crumbling down, we shall build our united, glorious paradise in its place! Love live the New Order!_** "

With that final cry, Miz spread his arms wide in an embracing gesture. Then, with another burst of static, the screens all reverted back to what they'd been before, the main one once again displaying Tak and Tenn; judging by the looks on their faces, they'd been watching the broadcast as well.

"You know, for those first few broadcasts, the novelty of the situation was almost amusing," Red commented, an undercurrent of controlled anger in his voice, "But I do believe I'm getting to the point where this guy's blatant treason is just ticking me off."

"Yeah, why can't you guys do your job and block him?" Purple demanded of the communications officers, who were still rubbing their heads, "Or at least tell us where he's broadcasting from?"

"We're tried, my Tallest," Senior responded, "But from what we can tell, he's using a signal blaster to simulcast his transmissions across every frequency and scramble its origin signal. Combined with how short his broadcasts are, limiting our window of opportunity to analyze them, we just can't backtrace them to their source."

"Hmph," Red snorted, scowling, "Well, I hate to admit it, but despite being a traitor he's clever, whoever he is."

"Whoever he is?" Tak echoed incredulously, reminding everyone she and Tenn were still on the screen, "My Tallest, I would think it's pretty obvious that this is Zim's doing."

"Here we go again," Tenn muttered, pinching the space between her eyes.

"What makes you think that?" Purple asked, narrowing an eye in confusion.

"First Zim goes rogue and starts rebelling against the Empire, and then this 'Miz' figure shows up shortly afterwards preaching the same thing? That's too much of a coincidence to actually _be_ a coincidence," Tak explained, before throwing her arms up in exasperation, "Not to mention the fact that _Miz is Zim spelled backwards!_ How much more obvious could it be than that?!"

"Mind your tone, Invader," Red said sternly, Tak wincing and bowing respectfully in response, "As for what you're saying… no way. Zim's stupid, but he's not stupid enough to use such an obvious alias. If for no other reason than he's also an egotist who'd want people to know he's doing this."

"Besides, Zim's annoying," Purple added, "This Miz guy's kinda cool. Still a traitor, but cool."

"That too," Red reluctantly admitted, "So, yeah, it's definitely not Zim, no matter what your revenge obsession is telling you."

"I am not obsessed-!" Tak sputtered, only to be cut off by Tenn slapping a hand over her mouth.

"To get this conversation back on track, my Tallest," she said quickly, "The Conversion Engine should be fully operational within the next few days, at which point we'll be ready to proceed with the plan."

"Good. Report back afterwards," Red said dismissively, gesturing to Senior to end the transmission. After the green-eyed communications officer did so, he turned to the Tallest with an arched antenna.

"Just out of curiosity, my Tallest, what _is_ being done about this Miz situation?" he asked, "Aside from making us try to track down his broadcasts, I mean."

"Meh, we have the Consulars looking into it," Red said, waving a hand lazily, while next to him Purple gave a brief shudder.

"Did we _have_ to get those guys involved?" he asked, "They're so creepy."

"They're a secret police organization, Pur, they're _supposed_ to be creepy," Red replied with an eye roll, "More importantly, they'll route out Miz wherever he's hiding, and then we kill him for his sedition."

"What about anyone who might, you know, actually be listening to him?" Senior asked, receiving snorts in response.

"Yeah right, like anyone would listen to his nonsense," Red chuckled.

"Yeah," Purple agreed, while tossing his empty soda can at a nearby Table-Headed Service Drone's head, "Now someone go get me some of those snacks we've been 'hoarding and wasting'!"

As both Tallest burst into laughter, they failed to notice the Service Drone — and several others on the bridge — glowering at them. Nor did they realize that those same glaring eyes had previously been watching Miz's broadcast with _very_ rapt attention…

_Planet Slumia, Two Days Later_

Planet Slumia was like many worlds in the Irken Empire not directly connected to its military/political hierarchy. That is to say, it was overcrowded and underfunded, as large swaths of the Empire's civilian population was dumped here to keep them out of the way, then virtually ignored as most focus and money went to Irk, its core colonies, and the Armada. As such, planets like Slumia were covered in mega-cities which were left to decay under the weight of their own overburdened infrastructures.

Which wasn't to say that the Empire completely ignored Slumia's existence. It was the site of many major snack production plants, which aided in the process of keeping the _Massive_ and the rest of the Armada well stocked. These factories churned out metric tons of snacks, which were then transported by convoy to nearby spaceports, where they were then shipped off to the Armada. It was the only aspect of life on the planet that the Empire bothered to acknowledge the existence of.

One such convoy was currently making its trip across Slumia's primary city, a pair of tank-like armored hover-trucks zooming down the street, flanked in front and behind by two pairs of Irken soldiers on hover-bikes. It was a routine assignment for all involved, one they'd each carried out dozens of times without anything happening outside the established perimeters.

As such, one can imagine their surprise when a bag came flying out of a nearby alley just after the lead guards flew by. It landed on the street in front of the first truck, and before the driver could fully register it, the truck passed over it. Caught up in the magnetic backwash of its hover-tracks, the bag was pulled up and attached to the undercarriage of the truck…

_BOOM!_

…and promptly exploded, with enough force that the truck was flipped up into a vertical position. Unable to react in time, the second truck slammed into the first with a crunch of metal. Now practically a conjoined object, the trucks skidded across the street, coming to a crash in the side of a nearby dilapidated building.

This all happened within seconds. By the time it was done, the rear guards had come to a screeching halt, while the front guards had pulled quick u-turns in order to see what had just happened.

"What the _flirk?_ " one of the lead guards, the head of the escort, exclaimed in shock. He was about to start giving emergency orders when a sudden shout cut him off.

"Long live the New Order!"

With that battlecry, dozens of Irkens dressed like Miz — albeit in ratty cloaks and cheap plastic masks — came pouring out into the streets from the surrounding alleyways. The surprised and confused guards barely had a chance to even pull their blasters out of their holsters before the attacking mob swarmed over them. They managed to fire off a few shots, before being dragged off their bikes and disappearing beneath a virtual sea of fists, clubs, and other blunt objects.

While part of the mob assaulted the guards, the rest set about attacking the crashed trucks, to force them open and get at the precious snacks locked inside. All except for one, who stood out for oddity — while the others were running around in a mad flurry of action, this one was casually strolling through the chaos. In fact, if one listened carefully, they could even hear that this person was whistling cheerfully, as if they were in the middle of a park, not a riot.

Reaching the trucks, the masked figure didn't join in with the group that was using a plasma blowtorch to cut an opening into it. Instead, they pulled out a spray paint can, and set to work graffitiing the side of the truck. By the time the others had put a hole in the side of the truck, running inside to start grabbing every box and bag they could, the side of the truck was covered in NIO symbols and the messages "Long Live The New Order!" and "Miz Rules!", among other things.

While the graffiti artist was admiring their work, sirens started sounding in the distance.

"Security reinforcements!" one of the rioters yelled, "Run for it!"

The rioters, both those who had been focusing on the downed guards and those who had been raiding the trucks, scattered in a dozen different directions in panic. The graffiti tagger was, once again, the lone exception. Instead, just as casually as before, they grabbed a supply box that had been dropped in the chaos and walked over to a nearby manhole cover. Reaching it, PAK legs emerged from under their cloak to pry it loose, hold it in the air for a moment, and then lower it back into place as the figure dropped into the manhole itself, disappearing from view just before the security mechs arrived on the scene.

Now in the sewer, the figure walked down the tunnel they were in for several minutes, before stopping and placing a hand against a random spot on the wall. It lit up, hidden mechanisms running a thorough scan of the figure, before the color of the light shifted and a chime sounded.

"Welcome back, Mistress Nyx," an automated voice spoke up, as a portion of the wall slid open, creating a doorway.

"I really need to reprogram it to ditch the 'Mistress' part," the figure now identified as Nyx murmured to herself. Walking through the doorway, she emerged into a mid-sized semi-circular room, several doors to other rooms ringing the wall. Most of one side was dominated by a bank of computer monitors and keyboards, a rolling chair parked in front of them, while the rest of the room contained only a pair of couches and a large table, which was covered with random junk which, rather oddly, was quite neatly stacked.

Walking over to the table, Nyx placed the supply box down, before removing her mask and cloak, revealing herself to be a female Irken. She was just over four feet tall, with an emerald skin tone and purple eyes, wearing a dark purple jumpsuit, and black boots and gloves, both of which had white trim on their edges. And, most shocking to anyone who might have seen her, her PAK looked slightly scorched, and its nodes were a dull grey instead of an active pink.

"Ying! I'm back!" she called out, as she tossed her discarded disguise aside.

"Welcome home, Madame," a voice with what a human would call an upper-class British accent responded, as a black SIR Unit with dark purple eyes and panels emerged from the kitchen. He was holding up a silver tray with a can of soda on it with one hand, while the other arm was held out horizontally in front of his chest, a towel draped over it.

"I take it the operation was a success?" Ying asked as he reached Nyx, holding the tray out to her.

"Yep," Nyx said happily, pulling Ying's head against her chest in a quick hug before snagging the soda, "A few more military drones taken out of commission, tons of snacks liberated for the people, including a decent resupply for us, and I've confirmed that my new bomb design works perfectly. Overall, it's been a good night."

"I'm pleased to hear that," Ying said, while cables extended from his head to grab the Miz costume, folding the cloak carefully before setting it and the mask neatly off to the side of the table, "Especially considering how quickly tonight's events were organized in a single Dark Irk-Net chatroom."

"Never underestimate the power of the angry masses," Nyx replied in-between sips of soda, "Especially when it's allowed to brew in places where the Control Brains can't see. Miz stirred everything up, I just lit the match for the kindling."

Ignoring the somewhat mixed metaphor, Ying instead chose to redirect the conversation, gesturing towards the computers, "Speaking of business conducted under the Control Brains' nonexistent noses, Madame, there was a message from one of your black market contacts while you were out. It's marked as important business."

Arching an antenna in surprise at that, Nyx handed the soda back to Ying and walked over to the computers. Sitting down, she typed away at the main keyboard and brought the message up on the primary monitor. It was text only, with a single file attached to it. Eyes widening as she read the message, she quickly opened the file to confirm it contained what the message said it did, and when she did, a wide grin split her face.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, fist pumping in excitement, "Finally! It took forever to find, Ying, but there it is! My ticket into the big leagues!"

"Shall I prep the ship for departure, then?" Ying asked.

"As quick as possible," Nyx said, downloading the file onto a data chip, while activating the other screens to all bring up images of a certain specific Irken.

"We're heading to Earth!"

_Zim's Base, A Few Hours Later_

Skoodge emerged from the toilet elevator, holding a datapad and feeling pretty cheerful. Looking around, he saw Zim sitting at the kitchen table, scowling and pushing around forkfuls of mush on his plate, while Minimoose floating nearby, watching GIR stir a bowl of… something oddly colored that Skoodge couldn't identify. He was pretty sure he didn't want to.

Ignoring the bad mood Zim was apparently in (how was that different from normal, after all?), Skoodge walked over to him, smiling widely.

"Hey Zim, great news!" he said, "I was scanning through the Irk-Net forums — well, the Dark Irk-Net, anyway. No one's going to risk saying anything positive on the monitored forums… anyway, the latest Miz broadcast has been a huge hit. And we're finally seeing results! A ton of people are talking about staging riots to steal food from the military, and it sounds like most of them have been successful."

"Wonderful," Zim said dryly, mood not lightening in the slightest, to Skoodge's confusion.

"Uh, you okay? I thought you'd be more excited about this," he commented, "I mean, I've had my doubts about this whole rebellion thing, but so far it's going pretty good."

"Yes, yes, it's going fine out there, but what about here on Earth?!" Zim shouted, jumping up from his seat to glare at Skoodge face-to-face, "What's the point of inspiring a revolution across the Empire if I can't even conquer this pathetic mud ball? I haven't even come up with a decent plan in months! Meanwhile, that pair of _c'horta_ -kissing hacks keep coming up with stuff; obviously inferior to anything I could come up with, of course. But still! The fact is that they're still at least making the attempt, while I'm stuck in a rut!"

"Er, uh," Skoodge stammered for a moment before getting his bearings back, "Come on, Zim, that's not true! You've had plenty of great ideas! Like the… er, no, that was Tak and Tenn's idea. Oh, how about when you… no, wait, that was them too. Okay, um, how about, er…"

"How about when you's made everyone hug each other so much they all exploded!" GIR suggested happily.

"…GIR, that wasn't one of my plans, that was an episode of _Floopsy Bloops Shmoopsy!_ " Zim snapped, glaring at the robot.

"Oh yeah," GIR said, blinking, before turning back to his cooking. Zim, meanwhile, merely snarled and kicked aside the chair he'd been sitting in, before stomping over to the living room, Skoodge following at a respectful distance.

"I'm sure it's just a creative block that'll wear off in no time. Happens to everyone!" he offered, which Zim only sniffed dismissively in response to.

"Whatever," he muttered, putting on his disguise, "Zim will triumph regardless!"

"That's the spirit!" Skoodge replied, grabbing his own disguise and following Zim out the door, heading down the street towards skool.

For the next couple of hours, the base and surrounding neighborhood were peaceful and quiet. Then, with a sonic boom, a small Irken ship swiftly descended from the sky. It hovered in the air over Zim's house for a few minutes, apparently contemplating its next move, before zooming down to disappear behind the house as it landed in the backyard. Several neighbors looking at or walking by the house watched all this with mild interest, before shrugging it off and going about their business.

"Must be one of them fancy drone things," one of the neighbors, sitting on a lawn chair, commented to his wife, who was watering a small garden and who hummed in agreement.

Meanwhile, in the backyard, Nyx and Ying emerged from the ship and made their way over to the base's rear door. Grabbing the handle, Nyx frowned as it gave with barely any effort, the door opening completely.

"Really? No locks? That's kinda lame," she said, disappointed.

"Considering the state of this yard, Madame, I don't believe anyone here pays much attention to this side of the building," Ying commented with a disdainful sniff, looking around the overgrown yard. Nyx hummed noncommittally in response to that, and the pair entered the house, finding themselves in the now empty kitchen. They then moved on to the living room, where GIR was now seated on the couch, Minimoose floating nearby. The latter was the first one to notice them.

"Squeak!" the floating moose gave his equivalent of a shout, catching his counterpart's attention.

"Intruders!" GIR shouted, jumping to his feet and blasters popping out of his head as his eyes flashed red… for three seconds, before they turned back to blue and the weapons retracted, and he started waving at the newcomers, "Hi!"

Ying, who had brought out his own weapons in response to GIR activating his, blinked in surprise at this, but slowly retracted them. Nyx, meanwhile, merely returned the smile and wave, apparently unperturbed by the momentary threat.

"And you are?" the Computer asked, while discreetly arming several weapons emplacements in the ceiling, just in case.

"Call us interested parties in Zim's work," Nyx replied, a certain giddy note in her voice, "So, if you could just let him know we're here-"

"The master's not home at the moment," the Computer interrupted, causing Nyx's face to fall into a scowl.

"Seriously?" she muttered, "Well, when does he get back? I have important stuff to talk with him about."

"It'll be a few hours," the Computer replied, "You may want to get comfortable."

"Yay, company! Imma gonna make waffles!" GIR shouted happily, running off into the kitchen, Minimoose floating after him while keeping a cautious eye on their new guests, who shared a look before Nyx shrugged and led the way after the other pair.

"Well, this should be interesting," the Computer commented to itself, wondering if these newcomers would do anything to snap Zim out of his annoying funk.

_Doomsville Middle Skool, Several Hours Later_

As the end of day bells rang, the skool's doors burst open and the students came pouring out in a mad dash to escape the clutches of the building. As the main crush passed, those who had been smart enough to hang back and wait made their exit as well. Among them were Zim, Skoodge, Tak and Tenn, the two pairs walking down opposite sides of the staircase and exchanging glares… well, Zim and Tak were. Skoodge was watching the females nervously, while Tenn was rolling her eyes at the exchange.

"I feel like you two should be facing each other on the main street of a Western town while dramatic music plays in the background," she commented dryly. When the others all stared at her, she shrugged, "What, I'm not allowed to like human movies?"

"Bah, as if there's anything worthwhile in _human_ movies," Zim spat, "Is that where you're getting all the ideas for your pathetic plans?"

"As if you're in any position to insult the validity of my plans, considering the idiocy of everything you've ever thought up," Tak snapped back, before smirking and adding, "Especially since you haven't come up with anything at all lately. Did you finally realize what a failure you are and give up, or are you just too busy spreading your treason?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Zim said, glaring at her, "Zim is merely resting his amazing brain-meats. Even a genius like me needs a break every now and then. But soon I'll be back to being just as brilliant and deadly as ever!"

"Then we obviously have nothing to worry about," Tak replied. As Zim sputtered angrily and tried to come up with a counter-insult, she walked away with Tenn following, content to have gotten the last word.

"Grah! Filthy _kisgaree!_ " Zim finally yelled after her retreating form, unable to think of anything else to say. And as he stood there panting and grinding his teeth, he took notice of Team Save Earth making their way out of the skool as well, eyeing him warily.

"What are you looking at, Dib-Stink and Not-Dibs?" Zim snapped.

"Seriously, would it kill you to learn our names?" Viera asked, rolling her eyes.

"If so, please do it," Dib snarked, "And in any case, Zim, don't think that just because you haven't been up to as much as Tak has lately that I haven't been keeping an eye on you. You try anything, and we _will_ stop you."

"We'll see about that, Dib-Monkey!" Zim said, before stomping off, Skoodge quickly following after.

"That's it?" Steve asked, arching an eyebrow as he watched the Irkens disappear from view, "No threats or screaming or insults? I think he's losing his touch."

"For now, maybe," Dib said, eyes narrowed, "But he'll bounce back and become a threat again. I can feel it."

"In the meantime, anyone want to take a wager on what Tak and Tenn are going to try next?" Viera asked, "I saw them huddled up and discussing something at lunch, like they were going over a plan."

"Let's head back to my place and check the scanners on the Spittle Runner, see if it's picking anything up," Dib said. The twins nodded in agreement, and the three started walking towards Dib's house.

Meanwhile, Zim and Skoodge had reached the cul-de-sac, the former still muttering angrily to himself.

"Insolent, filthy worm-baby!" he snarled, "Who does he think he is? And Tak! How dare she look down on me?!"

"It's okay, Zim, just ignore them and focus on how great you'll feel once you've come up with a new plan to crush all of them," Skoodge said, trying his best to calm his friend down and cheer him up. Zim ignored him, kicking the door to the base open and stomping in, likewise ignoring the Robo-Parents as he shoved them aside. Tossing aside his disguise, he headed into the kitchen so he could head down into the lab and sulk, but froze as he entered the room.

"Mmm, these are delicious! I especially love the squirmy bits!" Nyx said as helped herself to another plate of waffles. She was seated at the kitchen table, GIR happily mixing batter on the counter while Minimoose floated nearby and Ying sat to her side, frowning at her food.

"Madame, I'm not entirely certain that this food is _meant_ to be squirming," he commented with disgust.

Zim stared at this tableau in surprise, as did Skoodge, who'd come up behind him. After a moment he snapped out of it, and glared at the intruders in his home.

"Who are you?! Why are you here?!" he demanded, catching their attention and deploying his PAK weapons, expecting some kind of threat.

What he didn't expect was for Nyx's eyes to widen and light up as she saw him, or for her to literally _squee_ in reaction. The next thing he knew, she'd bolted out of her seat and across the room, and was lying flat on the floor at his feet, hugging his legs and speaking at a rapid-fire pace.

"Oh my Irk, it's really you, I can't believe it, I'm finally meeting you, I am your biggest fan!" she said so quickly Zim was barely able to understand a word. Blinking at this unexpected course of events, he looked back at Skoodge, who shrugged in confusion. Meanwhile, Ying walked over and pried Nyx loose.

"Contain yourself, Madame, you're _drooling_ ," he said with a note of disdain, pulling out a tissue to wipe her mouth. Nyx blushed at that, the embarrassment seeming to snap her out of her excited state.

"Eh, right, thanks," she said, clearing her throat to regain her composure before turning back to Zim, "Ahem. Anyway, as I was saying — my name is Nyx, this is my assistant Ying, and I am your biggest fan."

"Yes, well, that's understandable. Zim _is_ amazing, after all," Zim replied, the ego stroking he was receiving causing him to puff up for a moment, before he remembered the context of the situation and narrowed his eyes at her, "But that doesn't really explain anything, least of all why you're in my base!"

"Right, sorry. I can explain everything," she said, "Ying, the presentation."

"Yes, Madame," Ying replied. Turning to face the nearest wall, his head opened up and a slideshow projector came out, projecting an image onto the wall.

"I love this show," GIR commented, everyone else ignoring him and focusing on the projected image, which appeared to be of a smeetery on Irk.

"Like all Irkens, I was programmed at birth, to be an obedient little drone who did her part and never questioned authority," Nyx narrated, as the projector rotated through several images, showing a smeet — clearly the newborn Nyx — being hatched, implanted with a PAK, and sent to a programming chamber.

"Wait, where did you get these pictures?" Skoodge asked.

"Oh, I hacked into the security archives," Nyx replied offhandedly, "It was easy. See, the role I was encoded with was as a Technician Drone, so I was given all the skills needed to be able to handle any machine known to Irkens, and in exchange was expected to act like a mindless machine myself, doing whatever the Control Brains decreed. Which is what happened, until Horrible Painful Overload Day came along."

By now, the slideshow was showing an older Nyx in a small lab space, hooked up via a PAK cable into a row of computers.

"It started as an average day, and I was doing some routine maintenance on some servers when the power surge that created the planet-wide blackout hit."

The next slide displayed a fuzzy image of Nyx apparently in the middle of being blown off of her feet by an electrical surge.

"Squeak!" Minimoose commented.

"Yeah, it hurt like hell," Nyx admitted, "And for the first week afterwards everything tasted yellow. But it was worth it, as my PAK was fried — not enough to disrupt the life support mechanisms, but enough to wipe the programming that had kept me in line for my whole life up to that point."

Both male Irkens' eyes widened at that, noticing for the first time the condition that her PAK was in. Apparently either not registering or not caring about that, Nyx kept talking, "I didn't realize what had happened to me at first, obviously. But I soon found myself having ideas about things I wanted to try with the systems I was programming, ideas which fell outside the parameters I was supposed to stay in line with, which I quickly realized were stifling and pointlessly restrictive. Of course, once this was discovered I was declared Defective and ordered to be deactivated, so I stole a ship and fled Irk for the outer colonies, where I've been living ever since."

"Yes, yes, that's all very interesting," Zim finally cut in, "But I still fail to see what this has to do with _me_."

"Well, your reputation precedes you. It wasn't long before I heard all about how you were the one responsible for the blackout," Nyx explained, "After that, you kind of became my hero. I mean, you made me what I am, opened my eyes, even if it was unintentional. And every time you caused damage of any kind to the Empire, I celebrated the blows you were striking against an oppressive system. And it inspired me to do the same."

Now the slideshow quickly flashed through several photos of Nyx grinning at the camera and flashing victory signs, while in the backgrounds various buildings, ships, and military vehicles could be seen exploding or in flames.

"Wait, if you've been blowing stuff up for years, how come I've never heard about it?" Skoodge asked, confused.

"Like I said, I've been on the outer edges of the Empire," Nyx explained, "Between the Tallest not caring much about what happens out there, and keeping news about it quiet so they don't inspire copycats, word of my actions have been pretty much kept under wraps. Plus, I've tended to keep my actions sporadic and spaced-out so that what security forces _were_ actually looking for me wouldn't connect the dots. It was only recently when you started up the Miz broadcasts that I was inspired to step things up a notch."

"Well, that's understand-WHAT?!" Zim yelled as he processed what Nyx had just said, while next to him Skoodge's eyes bugged out, "How did you know that?!"

"It wasn't that hard," Nyx said with a shrug, "I mean, on top of the fact that 'Miz' first showed up shortly after word spread that the Tallest had cut you loose and you'd rebelled against them — I _cheered_ when I heard that, by the way — his name is just yours spelled backwards. Which at first I thought was too obvious. Then I thought, that's probably what you want everyone to think, only to stop and consider that maybe Miz really is someone else and is just trying to trick people into deducing that you're him as a decoy. But then I realized that that's just what you'd want anyone clever enough to get that far to think, and knew that it had to actually be you."

As Nyx finished her explanation with a proud smile, Zim stood there silently for a few moments, face scrunched up in thought as he tried to decipher what she'd just said.

"Well, that's pretty clever," he eventually said, before glaring, "But that just means you know too much! Computer, restrain her and her SIR!"

Nyx blinked in surprise, but before she could respond a series of metal tendrils suddenly shot down from the ceiling and wrapped around her, leaving her dangling in midair. Ying reacted quickly, retracting the projector and bringing out a pair of mounted blasters in its place, only for a giant magnet to pop out of the ceiling above him. Before he could fire at anything, it activated, and he went zooming into the air, slamming into it and being left frozen in place.

"If I may say so, sir, this is hardly a polite way to treat your guests," the black SIR commented dryly, unable to angle his weapons at anything.

"You're not guests, you're intruders who know my mighty revolutionary secret identity!" Zim snapped back, "And it is far too early to let anyone know that Zim is the one underneath Miz's mask. So I can't let you go while you know that."

"Zim, don't you think you're overreacting?" Skoodge asked, "I mean, she's like a super-fan of yours. I think that makes her at least a little trustworthy."

"Like I trusted that filthy, backstabbing vampire?" Zim snarled, "No, Zim will not make that mistake again and blindly trust a stranger. So they'll be staying right there until I decide how to deal with them."

"Makes sense to me," Nyx commented casually, catching both males by surprise, "I mean, I can see why you wouldn't be too trusting in your situation. In fact, I think I'd be disappointed if you just rolled over and accepted what I said at face value like that, honestly."

"Oh. Er, good," Zim said, before looking away with a glower, "Can't even intimidate a captive anymore…"

Before anyone could say anything else, alarms suddenly started blaring, startling everyone.

"Now what?!" Zim snapped, "Computer! What is the meaning of this? And turn off those alarms!"

"Massive energy surge detected in the City Park," the Computer replied, "Purpose is unclear, but it's definitely Irken in nature."

"Tak," Zim hissed, "As if I didn't have enough to deal with already, now I have another one of that wannabe's worthless plans. Let's go, Skoodge."

"Can I come?" Nyx asked, watching the pair make their way towards the door.

"No!" Zim snapped, before exiting the base, followed by Skoodge, GIR and Minimoose, leaving Nyx dangling in the air, pouting in disappointment.

"Aw, come on, seriously?" she protested, "A chance to actually see Zim in action in person, and I'm being left behind? Uh-uh, that ain't happening!"

"What are you going to do, break free?" the Computer asked sarcastically as Nyx started squirming in the tendrils, "Hate to break it to you, but those are solid titanium, you're not gonna-"

_CRACK_

"The hell?" the Computer asked, trying to process where that sound had come from. Meanwhile, Nyx continued to squirm, now with a noticeably pained look on her face. A few moments later, she was worming her way out of the tendril cocoon and fell to the floor, her left arm hanging at an odd angle.

"…Did you just dislocate your own arm so you could squeeze out of there?" the Computer asked, stunned.

"Yeah, I dislocated it by accident years ago, and because of the damage to my PAK it never healed quite right," Nyx explained with a grunt as she got to her feet, "As a side effect, now I can pop it loose whenever I want. Comes in handy on occasion."

"Okay… But doesn't that hurt?"

"Yep. But not nearly as much as putting it back in," Nyx said, bracing herself against a wall with her good arm. Pausing to take a deep breath, she then gave a primal cry and slammed her dislocated shoulder against the wall, popping it back into place with a snapping sound.

"GAHAH! Sweet Mother Irk, I swear it gets worse every time!" she yelled, grimacing as she flexed her arm to make sure it was fully back in place.

"Then perhaps, Madame, you should consider ceasing to perform that particular act?" Ying asked, from his spot still attached to the magnet.

"What, and give up one of my best escape tricks?" Nyx asked, by now apparently back to normal.

"Of course. How foolish of me to suggest such a thing," Ying said dryly. Not really registering her robot's sarcasm, Nyx deployed one of her PAK legs and fired a small, surgical shot into the base of the magnet holding him. It sparked and went dead, dropping Ying into Nyx's waiting arms. Placing him gently on the floor and taking a moment to brush him off, Nyx started making her way to the door.

"Come on. If we hurry, we can get there in time to catch the whole fight!" she said excitedly, bolting out of the base, Ying following close behind.

After they left, there was a moment of silence, which the Computer eventually broke.

"Well, that was… something," it mused, "But at least I was right — things are getting interesting around here again."

_Doomsville City Park, Shortly After_

The Conversion Engine had been set up in the middle of a field, around which Tak and Tenn had set up barricades and signs proclaiming the area closed for renovations. It was a flimsy cover story, but in theory it should be enough to keep any random humans from wandering into the area and interfering in their plan. Speaking of which, they were standing next to the Engine, which was coming online. The interior fans were spinning at a high speed, and a dark purple swirl of energy was building up inside of it, while a similarly-colored corona was building up around its exterior.

"It's been five minutes already," Tak said, irritably, glancing at her watch, "I thought we'd fine-tuned the charge time down to less than this?"

"No, we fine-tuned it down to less than an hour," Tenn replied, looking over a control pad, "Which, given it's meant to affect the entire planet near-simultaneously, I think is still a major accomplishment. Give it a few more minutes."

Tak harrumphed and looked away with a frown, which deepened as she noticed some rustling in the nearby foliage. Eyes narrowing, she made a discrete hand gesture to Tenn, who stiffened as she caught sight of it. Then she sent another gesture towards MIMI, who saluted, and then zoomed into the bushes. There were several panicked yells, a few bolts of plasma came shooting out of the bushes, and then Team Save Earth came tumbling out, landing in a heap as MIMI followed them out. She advanced on them, only to zoom away and back to Tak's side as Viera launched a stream of fire at her.

"I hate that robot," the Goth muttered as she and the boys scrambled to their feet and faced off with the Irkens.

"The feeling's mutual, human, believe me," Tak spat, as Tenn came up to stand beside her.

"I told you we should have done this inside the base," Tenn said in a clear I-told-you-so tone.

"And risk the energy backwash damaging vital equipment?" Tak countered, "There's no point in victory in we blow ourselves up in the process. Dealing with these pests is far less of a threat."

"Now that's just hurtful," Steve said dryly, keeping his blaster leveled at them.

"I don't know what that thing does, Tak, but we're not going to let you activate it," Dib said, holding up his gauntlets, which were already charged and crackling with energy, "And then we'll-"

"Blah, blah, heroic speech, expose you as aliens, blah," Tak cut him off, "Do you practice those lines in the mirror, Dib? Because they get less impressive every time I hear them. So why don't you just-"

"Incoming!" Tenn shouted, tackling Tak to the side just before several bolts of plasma cut through where she'd just been standing. The humans, caught by surprise, threw themselves back to the ground, barely avoiding a similar attack. Looking up, both groups found Zim standing several yards away, PAK legs still smoking, Skoodge and his robots just behind him.

"So sorry, was Zim interrupting something?" he asked sarcastically, "Well, I'll let you get back to it while I do this — Minimoose, destroy that machine!"

"Squeak!" Minimoose responded, before launching a large energy blast at the Engine… which failed to strike it, instead dispersing as it hit the aura surrounding it. There was a moment of silence as Zim's group stared at the machine awkwardly, while Team Save Earth looked on in surprise, and then Tak barked with laughter.

"Ha! Really? You tried using an energy attack against a machine creating its own plasma field?" she sneered, "It didn't occur to you that that would cancel out your attack?"

"Er, uh, of course Zim knew that!" Zim said quickly, and entirely unconvincingly, "I was merely confirming my hypothesis!"

"So, that barrier kind of removes most of our options for destroying that thing," Steve said quietly to the others while the Irkens traded insults, "What do we do?"

"Tenn's got that pad," Dib replied, discretely nodding his head in her direction, "It's probably the control mechanism. We get ahold of that, we can probably shut this thing down, maybe even cause it to overload or something."

"You go for it, we'll keep the others busy," Viera said. The three nodded at each other, then turned their attention back to the aliens.

"…insolent wretch who's never had an original thought in your life!" Zim was in the middle of screaming.

"Whereas you've hardly ever had any thoughts at all," Tak shot back.

"Not your best comeback," Tenn commented, rolling her eyes at the whole display and wishing that the Engine would finish charging already.

"Who asked-GAH!" Tak started to reply, only to have to jump aside as a torrent of flame burst out of Viera's Eye of Fire and headed right for her, Steve added shots from his blaster into the mix as well. While Tak and Tenn backpedaled from the assault, MIMI attempted to zoom forward and counter-attack the twins, only for Dib to charge forward and slam a plasma-charged gauntlet right into her, sending her flying to smack into Tenn, knocking her to the ground.

"Ah! Get off!" Tenn screamed, the unexpected contact triggering her robot-related PTSD. As she flailed about, Dib dashed forward and grabbed the control pad, which she'd dropped when hit. However, before he could do anything with it, Zim came flying out of nowhere to tackle him.

"Thanks for the help, Dib-Monkey!" Zim said with a smirk, grabbing the pad. But he didn't have any more of a chance than Dib did to get more than a glance at it before he too was tackled, this time by Tak, who had managed to duck under the twins' fire.

"Give me that!" she snarled, shoving Zim's face into the ground and trying to grab ahold of the pad. However, Dib threw himself onto the pair, turning it into a full dog-pile and making it nearly impossible for any of the three of them to get a proper hold on the pad.

Seeing all of this, the twins tried to rush to help their friend, only for Skoodge to suddenly jump in front of them, PAK legs deployed.

"Hoo-ah!" the pudgy Irken gave a battlecry, firing off all four legs at nearly point-blank range. The twins gave matching yelps and jumped back far enough to dodge it, only to run almost directly into another attack, this one from Minimoose, which hit the ground right next to them and sent them flying to land in a heap nearby.

"…Can we add the moose to the list of things we hate?" Steve groaned to his sister.

"I'm down with that," she replied, forcing herself to her feet.

Skoodge, meanwhile, paused only long enough to confirm they were momentarily out of commission, before running over to the Zim-Tak-Dib tangle.

"Minimoose, keep the other humans busy!" he shouted over his shoulder, "GIR, you…"

Skoodge trailed off as he saw that GIR was sitting off to the side, face planted in a plus-side bucket of chicken doused in mayonnaise, chomping away and oblivious to the world around him.

"…Never mind," he sighed, knowing a lost cause when he saw one. He turned his attention back to where he was going, just in time for Tenn's flying kick to connect with his face, knocking him flat on his back.

"Sorry Skoodge, but I'm not letting you interfere this time," she said. Looking to the side, she grimaced as she saw that MIMI had gone blue-eyed and joined GIR in his snacking binge. Shaking off her disgust and discomfort at the sight of the crazy robots, she tried to head towards where the control pad was lying on the ground next to where Dib, Tak, and Zim were still struggling with each other, only for Skoodge to suddenly jump up and return the favor, grabbing her around the waist and letting his momentum carry them to the ground.

As Skoodge and Tenn fought each other, and Minimoose traded attacks with the twins, the three team leaders were still tangled up with each other, trading punches and kicks as each tried to break free of the other two and reach the control pad.

"Give up has-been," Zim gasped out as best he could while Tak choked him with one hand and held one of Dib's arms at bay by gripping it firmly with her other one.

"You wish, traitor," she hissed back at him, ignoring the pain from his grip on her antennae and Dib's grip on one of her legs with his free hand.

"You should -OOF- both give up -BAH- cause I won't -GAH-!" Dib grit out, as Zim kicked him repeatedly in the face, "And I won't -ERGH- let you turn on -PFF- whatever that thing is!"

"Ha! That just shows how foolish you are, Dib-Stink!" Zim hissed, actually stopping the kicking for a moment, "Otherwise you'd have realized that's clearly a Pan-Chemical Conversion Engine designed to turn all this planet's _filthy_ water into caramel!"

"Wha- how did you figure that out?!" Tak demanded, glaring daggers at him.

"Wait, seriously? That's really what it does?" Dib asked, arching an eyebrow at her, "First hollowing Earth's core to fill it with snacks and now this? What is it with you and planet-sized candy?"

"Who asked your opinion?" she snapped.

"And to answer your question, Tak," Zim said, smirking, "All I needed was a quick look at that control pad. It was all quite obvious after that."

"Oh, whoop-de-doo," she replied caustically, "You think you're so clever? No one's impressed!"

"I am!" a new voice cut in from nearby. All the fighting stopped dead as everyone registered it, and turned to see its source — Nyx, who was sitting on a bench and casually eating from a popcorn bowl Ying was holding for her. As the humans and the other female Irkens stared at her in confusion, Skoodge blinked in surprise and Zim's eyes widened in shock.

"You?! I left you imprisoned back at base!"

"Yeah, but that was boring, so I broke out and came to watch the fight instead," she replied with a shrug, "Got here about the time you got into that dog-pile with what's-her-face and the big-headed human."

"My head's not big!" Dib snapped, "And who the heck are you, anyway?"

"Her name's Nyx, apparently she's a big fan of Zim's," Skoodge answered, which got some incredulous looks from everyone else.

"Who in the six hells of Vort would be a fan of this idiot?" Tak snarled.

"Zim has many admirers!" Zim snapped defensively.

"I doubt that highly," Dib said dryly.

"Silence!"

"Actually, he's right," Nyx said, "There's plenty of Irkens out there who see how awesome he is and respect him for all the blows he's struck against the Control Brains and their corrupt system. Power to the people, whoo!"

"…Well, you're obviously Defective," Tenn said after a moment of everyone staring at Nyx in awkward silence. Nyx scowled at that, turning her attention away from Zim for the first time since she arrived to glare at Tenn.

"Better that than being just another mindless drone," she spat, "I'm curious, does it hurt when the Tallest stick their hands up your back to make your mouth move like a sock puppet?"

"I…buh…how dare you?!" Tenn shrieked, face contorted with rage, "Do you have any idea who I am?!"

"Yeah, a drone, we've established that," Nyx replied, fake yawning, "Now would you stop talking so I can go back to watching Zim be awesome?"

"Excellent suggestion!" Zim crowed, before suddenly head-butting the distracted Tak, allowing him to break her grip and slip free to scramble away a few feet. Dodging Dib's attempt to intercept him, he then darted forward and grabbed the control pad off the ground.

"Nyx!" he called out to her as Dib and Tak got to their feet and advanced on him, "If you really are loyal to Zim, prove it now and attack my enemies!"

"Really? I get to help you in a fight?" she asked, eyes wide and practically gleaming.

"Yes, now do something!" Zim snapped, backing up to put distance between himself and the others.

"Oh, this should be rich," Tenn snarked, "Go ahead, Little Miss Defective, show us your sad little attempt at fighting."

Excitement switching to annoyance, Nyx stood up and reached into her PAK, pulling out a cubical device roughly the size of her torso and colored black, with the words "My Little Friend" stenciled on the side in purple. She hit a small switch in its base, causing the back to open up and unfold into a grip and trigger mechanism. Simultaneously, a circular panel on the front opened, allowing a series of tubes to emerge, quickly forming a rotary barrel assembly.

There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone registered the sight of Nyx holding what was clearly a minigun.

"… _Caragash_ ," Tenn swore, before screaming and jumping aside as Nyx opened fire, unleashing a rapid stream of plasma blasts, laughing maniacally. She then swept the minigun back and forth across the field, carefully avoiding Zim and Skoodge, while sending everyone else scattering.

Zim, meanwhile, stared in shock at the display for a moment, before composing himself.

"Well, that's… somewhat impressive," he conceded haughtily. He then turned his attention to the pad in his hands, "Now, let's see if I can't make this thing work for me."

From where she was taking cover behind a water fountain that had just had its top blown off by the minigun, Tak watched as Zim ran off with the pad.

"Oh no you don't," she growled, "Tenn! I'm going after Zim, you deal with this lunatic!"

"How?!" Tenn shouted back, as she ran around, barely staying ahead of the plasma.

"Figure it out!" Tak snapped, before getting up and sprinting after Zim.

Meanwhile, Dib had joined the twins where they were crouching behind a small hill, which was scorched and smoking from the steady amount of plasma being thrown around.

"Just what we need, another psychotic alien," he muttered, "And this one has a giant gun on top of everything else."

"Anyone got any bright ideas?" Steve asked, peeking over the top of hill, watching Nyx practically chasing Tenn around.

"Well, she's pretty distracted dealing with Tenn," Viera commented, "I say we rush her now when she's not looking."

"I'm afraid I cannot allow that," a stiff British voice spoke up. The three humans looked to the side to see Ying standing there, steady gaze locked on them.

"As my primary concern is the Madame's well-being, I cannot allow you to harm her," he said, "So, terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to inflict harm on you three."

The humans were quiet for a moment, exchanging looks, before turning back to the robot.

"Yeah, no offense?" Dib said, as he and the others pointed their weapons at Ying, "But considering you're outnumbered and outgunned, I'm not seeing much of a threat here. So why don't you-"

Whatever Dib was going to say was cut off as Ying's purple eyes and panels turned red. More surprisingly, however, his legs suddenly telescoped, until he was towering over the humans, his arms also telescoping out to a proportional length. Almost as soon as that was done, cables and panels began sliding out of his limbs' sockets and every seam, coating his limbs and torso, adding massive amounts of bulk. And several more emerged from the base of his neck and wrapped around his head, forming a helm.

After only a few moments, the transformation was complete, and the two foot tall SIR had become a seven foot tall robotic knight. Team Save Earth could only stare up at him in shock, trying to process what had just happened. This hesitation proved almost fatal, as Ying raised his now much larger fists over his head and brought them down, just barely missing the humans as they jumped away with a scream and instead striking the ground hard enough to crater it.

"How the hell did he have all that stuff inside him?!" Steve yelled, as he frantically fired at Ying, only for each shot to bounce off, "How was there room for all of it?!"

"Who cares?! Just shoot him!" Viera shouted, dodging another strike and launching a fireball which splashed off of Ying without causing any damage.

From where she was still firing away at everything in sight, Nyx paused to grin in delight at the sight of Ying in his Battle Mode fighting the humans. This momentary diversion of her attention provided Tenn the opening she needed, and she tackled Nyx, knocking her to the ground and the minigun out of her grip. After a couple of minutes of struggle, Tenn had Nyx in a chokehold.

"Give up, Defect," she snarled, "Just pass out, so I can get back to the real fight, and-AH!"

Tenn gave a pained scream as Nyx, struggling to breathe, suddenly bit down hard on the arm wrapped around her neck. As Tenn instinctively let go and reared back, Nyx barely took a second to regain her breath before springing into action. She slammed her elbows backwards into Tenn's abdomen, and as the Invader doubled over, grabbed her by the forearms and flung her forward, sending her flying over Nyx's head and through the air.

In a credit to her profession, despite her disorientation Tenn quickly got ahold of herself and curled into a ball as she hit the ground, rolling several feet before coming to a halt and jumping back up to face Nyx again.

"Did you just _bite_ me?" she demanded incredulously.

"Whatever it takes to win, Drone," Nyx replied with a smirk, "Didn't they teach you that in your fancy training?"

Growling, Tenn deployed her PAK legs and charged.

XXXXXXX

Elsewhere in the park, Zim crouched with the control pad clutched to his chest as he peered around the side of the tree he was hiding behind, taking in the current state of the battle.

Dib and the Not-Dibs were totally tied up trying to deal with the much larger Ying, who was tanking just about everything they threw at him, while they barely managed to avoid his own blows. Nyx and Tenn were grappling with each other, trading punches and kicks and PAK leg strikes. And Skoodge… was being used as a bludgeon by a once again red-eyed MIMI, who had grabbed him by the leg and was swinging him around at Minimoose, who was barely avoiding being hit by the screaming Irken.

GIR, meanwhile, had apparently finished his chicken and was now drinking a Suck Monkey and staring absently into the distance.

"Useless robot," Zim muttered, "Hmph, well at least Nyx is proving her worth. I might just keep her around after all. In the meantime, what to do with this?"

Zim looked at the control pad in his hands, quickly analyzing the information scrolling along its screen.

"Hmm, should I steal Tak's thunder by activating this myself?" he mused, before scowling, "No, that would still be her plan succeeding. Perhaps I can repurpose this to something else-AH!"

Zim trailed off into a yell as a plasma blast suddenly slammed into him, sending him flying through the air. As he hit the ground and bounced to a halt after several feet, Tak ran over, PAK legs still smoking, and brought a foot down on his head, pinning him in place as she ripped the pad out of his grip.

"Here's a suggestion. Why don't you just lie there and watch a _real_ Invader at work?" she said sarcastically, as he struggled to get out from under her. Any other insults she was going to throw on top of that was cut off as a chime beeped from the pad. Looking down at it, she smirked as she saw that it was displaying a message which stated the Engine was fully charged.

Grinning, she entered a code, triggering the final activation countdown. She then brought the pad down on her raised knee, smashing it.

"No stopping it now, Zim. I win!" she crowed, her following laughter almost drowned out by a mechanical roar emanating from the Engine, where the external energy field was starting to swirl up to a point directly above where the energy already collected within it was also starting to coalesce.

The sound echoed across the park, catching the attention of the other combatants. Dib, who had just managed to actually land a punch on Ying's head, sending him stumbling back a couple of feet, froze as he heard it and saw what was happening.

"Crap!" he swore, "It's activating! We have to do something!"

"Like what?" Viera asked, "We can't even get past the Iron Giant here!"

"Actually, if your only intention at this point is dealing with that device, I see no reason to continue this conflict," Ying commented, standing a respectable distance away, arms at his side in a non-threatening position. The humans blinked in surprise at that.

"Really?" Steve asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"My only reason for fighting you was because you were threatening my mistress," Ying replied, "Unless she orders otherwise, I have no reason to continue doing so. And in any case, she's rather enamored of Zim, so I imagine she'd approve of the destruction of anything built by his enemies. Speaking of which…"

As he said that, Ying turned his attention to wear Nyx was in the middle of hand-to-hand grappling with Tenn, who appeared to be gloating about her team's imminent victory.

"Madame," he called out, "Not to interrupt your fun, but my sensors indicate less than a minute until that device activates. Might I suggest intervention?"

"Meh, I guess. I'm getting bored listening to this drone anyway," Nyx replied, utterly casual, before suddenly headbutting Tenn. As the Invader reeled back from the unexpected assault, Nyx broke off and jumped backwards into the air. Reaching up, she grabbed hold of a low-hanging tree branch and swung herself up to rest on it. Mid-swing, she pulled out a handful of oblong metal devices and tossed them into the air, where they unfolded into multi-pronged clamps with rockets in their bases. By the time Nyx's feet planted on the branch, the devices were zooming towards the Engine, which they had soon attached themselves to.

A recovered Tenn watched all this, not sure what she was seeing at first… and then her eyes widened as she saw the lights that started flashing in the center of each device. Her gaze snapped up to where Nyx was now holding a small metal tube in one hand, her thumb hovering over the button at one end of it.

"Don't you dare-" she hissed, only to be met with a smug and defiant smirk.

"Boom," Nyx said flatly, pressing the button.

_KABOOM!_

Five seconds before the Engine could discharge, Nyx's devices detonated. The resulting explosions tore through the Engine's structure, nearly tearing it in half. As a result, all the energy it had built up and concentrated suddenly had an outlet beyond the one it was supposed to be fired through. As such, moments later it burst outward, creating an even larger explosion, which disintegrated the remains of the Engine in a blinding and deafening flash of light and sound, accompanied by a shockwave that knocked everyone off their feet.

After several minutes, sight and hearing returned as everyone groaned back to full awareness and stumbled back to their feet to take stock of the situation. It didn't take long for it to become apparent that Zim's group, Nyx and Ying included, had taken advantage of the disorientation to flee, leaving only the humans, Tak, Tenn and MIMI in the park.

"No, no, no!" Tak screamed, tugging at her antennae, "Not again!"

"Well, back to the drawing board, I suppose," Tenn muttered with a scowl, "Damned crazy Defective. I'm going to make her pay for this."

"I assume we're done here?" Steve asked, keep a weary eye on the female Irkens from where Team Save Earth were standing off to the side, "I mean, their plan literally just went up in smoke, and Zim's gone, so there's not much left for us to do."

Dib chewed his lip for a moment as he considered his friend's comments. A part of him was tempted to attack Tak and Tenn while they were distracted, to try and eliminate at least one major threat to Earth. However, the rest of him pointed out that the Irkens didn't look _quite_ distracted enough to give them much of an advantage. Besides which, he was already exhausted and aching from all the previous fighting, and the twins didn't look much better off. It was probably wiser to take the better part of valor this time.

"Let's go, before they decide to take their frustration out on us," he said, turning and walking away quickly, with the twins following close behind.

"So… Zim's new allies," Viera said after a few minutes of the group walking in silence, "How bad a situation is this?"

"Considering we couldn't even hurt the shapeshifting robot, not to mention this Nyx girl apparently has a bunch of other tricks up her sleeve, I'd say it's _very_ bad," Dib commented.

"Not to mention it looks like she's some kind of Zim fangirl," Steve added, "Which is all kinds of messed up, if you ask me."

"Agreed," Dib said, Viera nodding in her own agreement. With that, the three of them left the park, all of them trying to ignore the worry they were feeling at what was coming.

_Zim's Base, A Short Time Later_

Zim sat in his command chair in the main chamber of his base, cold compress pressed against his sore head as he glowered around the room. Skoodge was standing off to the side, with Minimoose floating nearby, and GIR having wandered off at some point. Nyx and Ying, the latter back in his regular form, were standing before him, waiting for him to speak. After a few more moments of glaring at everything and nothing, he finally did so.

"Well, Zim supposes that your aid today, while unneeded, was… satisfactory," he admitted, tossing the compress aside.

"Really? Thanks!" Nyx said, smiling brightly.

"I'm not entirely certain you should be happy to receive such a backhanded compliment, Madame," Ying commented dryly.

"Yeah, he does that a lot, you should get used to it," Skoodge said, nodding in sympathy. Zim shot him a glare, before turning back to Nyx.

"As Zim was saying," he continued, "All things considered, I _suppose_ I can keep you around for a while-"

"Ooh, actually," Nyx cut in, "Sorry to interrupt, but about that 'all things considered' thing? You actually haven't considered everything yet."

"Eh?" Zim asked, blinking in confusion.

"You see, the reason I chose to come join you now, not just because of everything you've been doing as Miz, is because of something I managed to find which I think you're gonna love," Nyx explained, reaching into her PAK and pulling out a data chip, "I was gonna give it to you earlier, but got distracted by the whole fight and everything."

Zim narrowed an eye suspiciously, but took the offered chip and plugged it into a console. Watching the information that started to scroll across the screens, he stared in confusion, then his eyes widened in recognition.

"This, this is… where did you find this?" he demanded in shock.

"Oh, I have all kinds of contacts on the Dark Irk-Net and across the criminal underworld, Irken and non-Irken alike," Nyx replied, waving a hand dismissively, "Spread enough money around to enough people, and sooner or later you can find anything. And I knew from the stories I've heard of everything you've done here on Earth that you'd be interested in this."

"Interested?" Zim asked incredulously, "This is beyond interesting, this is a game-changer! It'll take time to put into effect, but this could be exactly what I need to finally conquer this pitiful planet, and from there have a power base to launch my revolution in full!"

"Really?" Skoodge asked, looking over Zim's shoulder, "Didn't I hear about you trying this plan already, and it failing?"

"Barely! And only because of the Dib-Stink's interference! I can make this work, even better than before, and this time it'll succeed!" Zim snapped, before turning back to Nyx, "Zim is willing to admit, this is impressive, and worthy of the privilege of serving me. I will accept your presence here, but know this — if I ever even _think_ you are disloyal, I will destroy you myself. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir!" Nyx replied, snapping a fist to her chest in salute, "Long live the New Order!"

"Good. Now begone, all of you! Zim must contemplate things in private!" he commanded. As the others all filed out of the room, he turned back to the screens, studying the data intently, evil laughter starting to bubble in his chest. Already he could feel it, the familiar ecstatic energy of a plan starting to form, the giddy knowledge that he would soon rain doom down on all his enemies.

He was back in business, and soon everyone would know his wrath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have guessed from the last scene, I'm starting this season's story arc early this time around. What did Nyx give Zim that's got him so excited? I'll tell you… eventually. This arc's more of a slow burn; I'll drop hints along the way, so maybe you'll figure it out by the time of the big reveal.
> 
> In the meantime, I've got plenty of stuff to throw your way. Stick around, folks, it's going to be a wild ride.
> 
> Please comment!


	2. New Girls and Explosions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyx and Ying acclimate to life on Earth as part of Team Zim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is really just a buildup chapter, allowing Nyx and Ying to fully integrate themselves into the setting. That said, a few seeds are sown for later developments, so keep an eye out for those; they won't exactly be subtle.
> 
> Read on!

Zim sat before the main console of his base's control room, watching the information displayed on its screens. As had been the case for pretty much the entirety of the past few days since she'd given it to him, he was going over the information that Nyx had used to buy her way into his service. So many possibilities of how to properly utilize it flew through his mind, reflected by the notes he was jotting down. Yes, he could see it now; soon, he'd be able to-

"Master, not to interrupt, but you told me to alert you when it was time to head to skool," the Computer spoke up, breaking Zim's concentration. He glared at the ceiling in annoyance, but huffed in acknowledgement. Saving his notes, he removed the data chip from the console and slid it into a secure compartment.

"Speaking of skool, Computer, have you also finished registering Nyx for that filthy place using the ingenious cover story I devised for her?" Zim asked, as he got up and made his way to the elevator.

"Yes, master," the Computer replied, an arm holding a data pad extending from the ceiling, "She's fully registered, and the skool authorities should be expecting her arrival today."

"Good," Zim said, grabbing the data pad and entering the elevator. A few moments later, he emerged out of the trashcan in the kitchen, where Skoodge was just finishing up breakfast.

"Morning, Zim," Skoodge greeted his fellow Invader, who merely grunted in response, paying more attention to scanning the room, which was currently empty aside from the pair of them.

"Where's Nyx?" he asked.

"She and Ying are still in their ship out back," Skoodge replied, before blinking as a thought occurred to him, "Speaking of which, shouldn't we bring it inside? And, you know, maybe give them a room to stay in?"

"Meh, I'll think about it," Zim replied, instead heading towards the door leading to the back yard. Exiting through it, he stopped and blinked as he noticed that the usually overgrown yard was now neatly trimmed, leaving a perfectly suburban picturesque scene surrounding the ship sitting in it, which Nyx was sitting besides on a lawn chair. Ying was standing next to her, holding a tray containing a pitcher of lemonade, which matched the glass Nyx was sipping from.

"Did you mow the yard?" Zim asked as he approached them.

"Yeah, Ying did that," Nyx replied, setting her glass down, "He's a little OCD about stuff like that."

"Respectfully, Madame, I think anyone would have reacted the same to seeing the travesty of a state this place was left in," Ying sniffed, giving Zim a disdainful look, "Really, sir, don't you have any sense of self-respect for the appearance of your home?"

"Do not question Zim's aesthetics! And I never use this yard for anything anyway, so who cares?" Zim snapped, glaring at Ying for a moment before composing himself and holding the data pad out to Nyx, "Anyway, take this. I've enrolled you in that disgusting educational facility we have to go to in order to maintain our cover, and compiled a cover story for you — if anyone asks, you're my younger sister who has returned from a foreign exchange program."

"Really? I get to say I'm related to you?" Nyx asked happily, taking the pad and beginning to skim through its contents, "Awesome!"

"That's right, feel honored!" Zim crowed, allowing his ego to be stroked for a moment before continuing, "All the important details are in there. I expect them memorized by the time we get to skool. Understood?"

"Yes sir! I won't let you down!" Nyx replied, gaze locked on the data pad.

"Good," Zim said, turning to reenter the house, "And grab a disguise from the backup supply in the closet on your way out. There should be something in there that'll work for you."

Nyx only nodded in acknowledgement, her focus entirely on learning her cover. She may have slightly impressed Zim with her performance in the recent fight, and bought her way into his service with the data file, but this was her big chance to truly show him how capable she was in aiding his mission in every aspect, and she wasn't going to blow it.

_Membrane Household, Same Time_

Dib sat at his computer array, the various screens allowing for a conference call with the Swollen Eyeball Network. As usual, all the other members were reduced to red-eyed silhouettes, save for Steve and Viera, who were calling in from their own house; the general consensus he and the twins had was that they worked closely enough on a regular basis that there was really no reason to follow the usual secrecy procedures there.

"So, now you claim there are two more aliens, in addition to all the others you already say were present?" Agent Nessie asked.

"Technically one alien and her robot, but yes," Dib said, pulling up a composite picture he'd put together of Nyx and Ying.

"And what excellent evidence you've provided of it, as usual," another agent commented dryly. Dib didn't recognize this one, whose silhouette suggested he was in his and the twins' age range. Regardless, Dib responded with the usual glare he reserved for his more condescending critics.

"We didn't exactly have time to stop to take photos," Steve said, coming to his friend's defense and giving a glare of his own.

"Funny how that always seems to be the case," the agent sneered, "Especially since there's three of you. What, not one of you has ever thought it might be a good idea to document any of these alleged fights you all get involved in?"

"Well, you've obviously never been in any kind of fight in your life," Viera said, "This isn't some bad kung-fu movie where all the bad guys stay off to the side while fighting the heroes one at a time. It's a free-for-all melee; there's no time to focus on anything but surviving and winning."

"Even so, I-"

"That's enough, Agent Spider Monkey," Agent Darkbootie cut in, shooting a glare of his own at the younger agent, "Given that you yourself have never provided any evidence of paranormal encounters beyond a few blurry Bigfoot photos, you're hardly in a position to judge anyone else."

Spider Monkey, as the agent was apparently called, grumbled in annoyance, but conceded the point and stopped talking. After watching him for a moment to make sure he was done inflaming the situation, Darkbootie turned his attention back to Dib and the twins.

"Now then, Agent Mothman," he said, "As blunt as Agent Spider Monkey is, he's not entirely incorrect. You, and more recently Agents Silverfish and Silver Sparrow, have consistently failed to provide any evidence on Subject Zim or any of these other aliens you claim are present in Doomsville. But, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt in regards this new pair. Continue observation, and confrontations when necessary. Understood?"

Dib and the twins all nodded in acknowledgement, and then the other agents logged out, leaving just the three members of Team Save Earth staring at each other.

"Well, that was pointless," Viera muttered with a frown, "All he did was order us to keep doing what we were already doing."

"As usual," Dib sighed, "Though at least no one was too dismissive this time."

"Except that Spider Monkey guy," Steve pointed out, "What was that jerk's problem?"

"I have no idea," Dib replied, "I'm pretty sure I've never met him before."

"Pretty sure?" Steve asked, arching an eyebrow, receiving a shrug in response.

"He might have been at some of these larger group meetings? I dunno, a lot of the lower-tier members kinda blend together to me," Dib admitted, before checking a nearby clock, "Anyway, we'd better get going. I'll see you guys at skool."

As his friends said their own goodbyes, Dib switched his computer off and started quickly gathering his skool supplies. As he did, he felt a slight feeling of foreboding — Zim hadn't made any kind of move since Nyx and Ying had arrived, but Dib just knew that his nemesis wasn't going to fail to take advantage of a new asset like those two. And given how dangerous they were…

Shaking off his concerns for the time being, Dib finished grabbing his stuff and left to meet up with Gaz downstairs and head to skool.

_Doomsville Middle Skool, Mr. Elliot's Classroom, A Short Time Later_

As was for usual for her, Gaz sat at her desk, tapping away on her Game Slave. Class hadn't started yet, but she'd probably continue to focus on the game even when it did; even after the rough patches she'd been through over the last several months, she was still too feared for anyone to tell her what to do.

As such, she didn't even bother to look up and acknowledge Mr. Elliot as he walked into the room. However, she did notice as the rest of the class started muttering amongst themselves in surprise. Arching an eyebrow in confusion at that, Gaz actually paused her game and looked up to see what everyone was so worked up about. And then her eyes actually cracked open a bit in surprise of her own.

Standing next to Mr. Elliot was, quite clearly, another Irken wearing one of Zim's brand of awful disguises. Namely blue contacts and a blonde wig done up in braids, with nothing being done to hide her green skin or her PAK. That said, a quick glance around showed that, judging by everyone's reactions, her classmates were just surprised by the new girl's presence rather than her appearance.

" _Idiots,_ " Gaz mentally snorted, " _I'll never get why Dib keeps wasting his time trying to expose Zim to a bunch of morons too stupid to see through disguises as moronic as this. Glad I'm not obsessed with it too, or I'd drive myself as crazy as him._ "

Her train of thought was interrupted when Mr. Elliot introduced the poorly-disguised alien as their class's newest student, Nyx. Gaz recognized the name, from all the longwinded expository rants Dib gave at home, as if she cared what he had to say — this was the "psycho fangirl" who had apparently teamed up with Zim in the most recent fight Dib's team had with him and Tak and Tenn.

" _Speaking of which…_ " Gaz thought, glancing over her shoulder to where Tenn was seated, glaring at Nyx and noticeably digging grooves into the surface of her desk, " _Well, she's not happy. Still, if she's going to make a thing out of this, she better be smart enough to remember my warning about dragging me into these pointless fights, and wait until I'm not around before she does anything. I've got more important things to do than get dragged into a stupid alien feud. And oh, look, Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky is still talking._ "

"-And we should all do our best to make her feel welcome," Mr. Elliot wrapped up, before turning to look at his new student, "Anything you want to say, Nyx?"

"Not really," she replied, a rather forced smile on her face as she rocked back and forth on her heels; it didn't take a genius to see she was already bored and trying not to show it. Mr. Elliot didn't seem to notice, however, his usual cheer not wavering a bit.

"Okay then. As for your desk, we've got a seat for you right over there next to Tenn," he said, gesturing towards the desk in question.

Despite herself, Gaz smirked at both Irkens' reactions to that proclamation. Tenn's eyes bulged out and she actually broke pieces of her desktop clean off, while Nyx blinked in confusion, apparently not comprehending what she'd just heard, staring at the human-disguised Tenn. However, after a moment she finally seemed to realize who she was looking at, and her jaw dropped while one of her eyes twitched.

"…Can I sit somewhere else? Anywhere else?" she asked as her mouth closed, speaking through teeth that were visibly grinding against each other.

"Uh, no?" Mr. Elliot responded, blinking in confusion, "That's… all we have available."

"Fine," Nyx muttered, shuffling slowly over to her desk. Despite this resigned sullenness, however, she still managed to find the energy to shoulder-check Tenn as she turned to sit down, almost knocking her out of her own seat.

"Oops," she said flatly as she took her seat, "Sorry about that, Drone."

"Watch yourself, Defect," Tenn hissed, keeping her voice down and gaze level in order to avoid Mr. Elliot's attention as he started the day's lesson, "You're going to regret ever coming to this planet. Mark my words on that."

As the two Irkens settled into silently glaring at each other, Gaz finally lost interest and turned back to her game, ignoring them and Mr. Elliot's lecturing, satisfied that nothing was going to happen that she'd get dragged into.

XXXXXXX

A few hours later, it was time for lunch, and the various classes filed into the cafeteria. Team Save Earth took their usual table, as did Zim and Skoodge, as well as Tak, forming a rough triangle that allowed the members of the three factions to all keep an eye on each other. Meanwhile, Gaz took her own seat at another table nearby, while Tenn quickly scuttled over to sit next to Tak and started speaking to her quietly but urgently.

But what really caught everyone's attention was when Nyx walked over and sat down next to Zim and Skoodge. Between her status as a new student, her rather unique appearance, and her choice of eating companions, she rather understandably became the focus of a lot of people, who stared in surprise and started muttering amongst themselves.

"…I know I'm going to regret this, but I'm going to do it anyway," Dib said to his friends with a resigned sigh, before standing up and raising his voice to catch everyone's attention, "Okay, seriously? Is no one going to say anything about there suddenly being _another_ person in skool with a 'green skin condition' and who happens to be hanging out with Zim?"

"And here he goes again," Torque snorted from a nearby table, "The new girl an alien too, Dib?"

"Obviously! Aside from what she looks like, why else would she want to sit with Zim?" Dib pointed out, triggering some more mutterings.

"I hate to say it, but that's kind of a good point," Carl commented.

"Yeah," Aki said, nodding in agreement, "Why would anyone wanna hang out with a freak like Zim for?"

Nyx looked downright murderous at hearing that slander towards her idol, but before she could shoot anyone or blow anything up, Zim reacted first, jumping up to stand on top of his bench.

"Zim is no freak! Zim is the most perfectly normal human worm-baby ever and everyone should want to sit with me!" he yelled, before composing himself and sitting back down, "And of course Nyx is sitting with me. She's my sister!"

As if to prove his point, Zim threw an arm around Nyx's shoulder and pulled her close in what was presumably meant to be a hug, though considering how awkwardly he was shoving her up against himself, it was clear he didn't exactly know how hugs worked. Despite that, Nyx seemed perfectly happy with what was happening, if the wide smile she was sporting was anything to go by.

"Sister? You really expect everyone to believe you suddenly have a sister out of nowhere?" Steve asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah, where's she been all this time?" Viera challenged.

"Your accusations are baseless, Not-Dibs," Zim scoffed, shoving Nyx aside, "She has simply been away as part of a foreign exchange program in another country."

"What country?" Tak asked, watching the exchange from the side. As she expected, Zim and his minions all froze up at that; clearly, she noted with an amused sneer, Zim hadn't put enough effort into Nyx's cover story as to include _that_ particular detail.

"Um… Tibet! I mean, Ecuador! Er — Tibecuador!" Zim said hastily, "Yes, Tibecuador. So lovely and… foreign."

"That is not a real country," Dib said flatly. In response, Zim scowled at him, before quickly ducking under the table. After a moment of apparently rapid movements just out of sight, he popped back up and placed a globe on top of the table, one with a sticky note taped onto it in-between the Americas. A squiggly oval was drawn on the note, with "Tibecuador" written in the middle of it.

"See? It's a real country," Skoodge said, gesturing to the globe while Zim smirked and looked down his nonexistent nose at the humans.

"Looks legit to me," Zita said with a shrug, the rest of the students all nodding and vocalizing their agreements.

"Seriously?" Viera deadpanned, watching everyone lose interest and go back to their lunches.

"Why do I even bother sometimes?" Dib muttered, face-palming.

"I'm more curious where he got that globe from," Steve commented, gesturing at it, "Seriously, were you just carrying that around with you on the off chance you'd need it?"

"Zim is always prepared!" Zim shouted, "It's just one part of what makes me so extremely impressive!"

"'Impressive'? That's what you call presenting your deluded fan as your sister?" Tak snorted, "You just ripped off the cover story I invented for Tenn! Right down to the exchange student part!"

"That's what you're choosing to focus on?" Tenn asked dryly, "Not the fact that there's a psychotic Defective who's blatantly anti-Empire sitting right over there?"

"Because we already have _one_ psychotic Defective running around. So what's one more?" Tak snarked, pointing to Zim, who scowled at the insult.

"You dare call Zim a Defective?!" he snarled, "If anyone's a Defective here, it's you!"

"What did you just say?!" Tak snapped, shooting to her feet.

"You heard me, you pathetic wannabe," Zim sneered, enjoying his rival's outrage. Growling like a wild animal, Tak tried to charge at him, only for Tenn to grab her and hold her back.

"Calm down," she hissed, "As pleasing as it would be to see this traitor get his face caved in, we can't afford to blow our cover over a petty argument."

"You call this petty? I'm not going to sit here and be called Defective by someone who can't even beat a big-headed human smeet!"

"Oh, come on! I wasn't even part of this conversation anymore!" Dib protested, throwing his hands up in aggravation, "And my head's not big!"

As the argument between the three groups degenerated into insults being traded by the three leaders, Gaz sat off at her own table, easily blocking it all out. Her focus was instead expertly divided between eating her food and playing her game… until a shadow fell over her. Frowning, she paused her game and looked up to see what was blocking her light.

To her surprise, Nyx was standing next to her, peering over her shoulder to look at the screen of her Game Slave. Gaz growled and gave one of her best death glares, hoping to scare the alien girl off, but all she did was shift her attention from Gaz's game to Gaz herself, looking utterly unaffected by the unspoken threat. As such, Gaz decided to switch to _spoken_ threats.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, her tone just short of a snarl. However, this seemed to continue to fail to intimidate Nyx in any way.

"Oh, don't mind me," she said, gesturing to where the three-way argument was still ongoing, "I thought that was going to break out into an actual fight that Zim would need me for, but I'm pretty sure it's going to stay at the yelling level, which is boring. Then I saw you playing your game, like you were back in class, so I thought I'd watch; it looks a lot more interesting."

Gaz grit her teeth. While this wasn't as annoying as getting dragged into Dib's pointless fights with the Irkens, it was still an intrusion into her comfort zone, and she couldn't abide that.

"Look, newbie," she said with barely-contained rage, "Clearly no one's warned you about this yet, but I _hate_ it when people interrupt my games. _Especially_ when it's one of those rare games that I'm actually having trouble beating a boss on. So, I'm going to give you one chance to walk away, or-"

"Left, up, A, B, B, A, right, down," Nyx said, cutting Gaz off.

"…What?" Gaz asked, anger forgotten for a moment as she blinked in confusion.

"It's a cheat code. Should temporarily max out all your stats," Nyx replied casually. Gaz arched an eyebrow at that, but deciding that she didn't have anything to lose (as she'd already hit a save point, so she wasn't risking being set back too much), she turned her attention back to her game and input the code. To her utter surprise, it did as Nyx had said, boosting all of her character's various abilities as far up as they would go. Taking advantage of this, she soon found herself near-effortlessly taking down the same boss monster she'd been unable to beat for days.

As the triumphant musical cue sounded out, Gaz turned back to the smug-looking Nyx and cracked an eye open to give her an appraising look.

"How'd you know that?" she asked, " _I_ didn't even know about that code."

"Meh, it was mostly a lucky guess," Nyx admitted with a shrug, "But I've found that most video games on most planets, through some weird coincidence, all use the same basic core coding, so that cheat's kinda universal. Heh, literally."

"…There's video games on other planets?" Gaz asked, both eyes now partly open, her interest firmly caught.

"Duh," Nyx said, as if it should be obvious, "Just about every species that develops computers creates them eventually. And don't even get me started on Arcadikon, the gaming planet."

Now, Gaz was staring in so much surprise that her eyes were opened wide enough that it was actually possible to see what color they were. After a few seconds she blinked, then shook her head, composing herself. And then she did something that was, for her, utterly shocking — she scooted over on her bench to make room, and pointed at the open space.

"Sit down," she ordered, "I want to hear more."

Blinking for a moment, Nyx shrugged, and then took the offered seat. This did not go unnoticed by the room at large, and soon nearly everyone was staring at the pair in disbelief.

"AAAHHH!" a student screamed, jumping up and pointing at them in terror, "Gaz is being friendly to someone!"

"It's a sign of the apocalypse!" someone else yelled.

"Run for your lives!" another student shouted. With a series of panicked screams and yells, most of the people in the cafeteria fled the room, either stampeding out the doors or, in a few desperate cases, throwing themselves out the windows. After a few moments, the cafeteria was empty, except for Gaz and Nyx, who were willfully obvious to anything outside their conversation, and Team Save Earth and the other Irkens, who had noticed the stampede and were now staring at the cause of it.

"…Ordinarily, I'd say something about everyone overreacting to something so small when they usually ignore bigger problems," Dib commented, watching his sister happily chatting with Nyx, "But this is just… I mean, that's-"

"Deeply disturbing?" Tenn suggested.

"Yeah, that."

"What's it say about her that the first person she's actually friendly towards is a psychopath?" Viera asked, only somewhat rhetorically.

"Zim hates agreeing with any of you, but I will on this," Zim said, eying his new minion and his archenemy's sister interact with a wary and thoughtful look, before standing up and adding, "But Zim has no time to be disturbed! I'm leaving."

With that, he turned and walked away, exiting the cafeteria. Everyone else, disquieted and exhausted from their previous arguing, looked at each other before silently calling a truce. Skoodge scampered off after Zim, with Team Save Earth and the pair of Tak and Tenn heading towards separate side doors, leaving Gaz and Nyx alone in the room.

_Zim's Base, Same Time_

Ying stood in the middle of the living room, multiple arms extending from within his open head, holding various cleaning tools. There were dust rags wiping down the furniture and the cables in the ceiling, cloths and sponges scrubbing the windows and floor, and even a full-sized vacuum was being pushed around, picking up anything the sponges missed.

"Not that I'm complaining, given that this is the cleanest the base has been since that time that the master had that obsessive fear of human germs, but don't you think you're overdoing it?" the Computer asked.

"If the Madame is going to be living in this place, I'll not have it be a hovel," Ying sniffed.

"Alright, suit yourself," the Computer replied, with a vocal shrug. After a few minutes of silently watching the black SIR unit work, it decided to broach another subject, "So, there's been something I've been meaning to ask. Why do you call Nyx 'Madame' instead of 'Mistress'? That seems a little informal."

"Which is why she insists on it," Ying replied with a resigned sigh, "When she decided she needed assistance in her various schemes, she stole me from a manufacturing plant — which she promptly blew up, of course — and upon finding my preset personality too dull, reprogrammed me to have free will and a personality of my own. Afterwards, the first thing she asked of me was that I not call her 'Mistress', as a sign of the fact that she does not see me as her servant."

"Squeak!" Minimoose commented from where he was floating nearby, aiding in the cleaning by balancing a bucket atop his antlers that Ying was wringing his various sponges and cloths into.

"That's a good point," the Computer said, "You _are_ serving her, and now she's serving the master. So how does that not clash with her whole anarchist, down-with-the-system, power-to-the-people thing?"

"It's quite simple, really," Ying replied, "What the Madame believes in is freedom, yes, but most specifically freedom of choice. She was trapped in her role of a Tech Drone before Zim caused the power surge that gave her the ability to find another path in life for herself, just as I was doomed to just be another mindless SIR until she freed me from that. Now, I _choose_ to follow her, and she chooses to follow Zim, for the same reasons — gratitude, and belief in what the person we're following stands for."

There was silence as Minimoose and the Computer quietly processed both what Ying had said, and the sheer intensity of the conviction in those words… and then the moment was utterly ruined, as the front door burst open, and GIR walked in holding a pig over his head, both of them covered in mud.

"Pig came over to play. We're going to roll around now, 'kay?" he said cheerfully. Without waiting for a reply, he dropped the pig to the floor and started rolling around, the pig blinking in confusion before copying him. Ying watched the pair of them spreading mud and dirt around the floor he'd just finished cleaning quietly, only the twitching of one of his eyes betraying how he felt about the situation.

"Yeah, you're gonna have to get used to that," the Computer sighed in sympathy.

XXXXXXX

Back at Doomsville Middle Skool, the remaining hours of the skool day trickled by, and finally, the end of day bells rang. The students, or at least those who hadn't fled the building from the mind-breaking sight of Gaz Membrane being friendly with someone, exited the building, happy to be free from its clutches.

Speaking of Gaz, she and Nyx exited the building side by side and were now walking down the street, still continuing their earlier conversation.

"-And that's not even getting into all the online games available on the Irk-Net," Nyx was saying, "Which are fun, but like everything else there, they're monitored by the Control Brains. So, I haven't been able to play any of them in years, since otherwise there's a chance they'd be able to track me down. You know, what with being a wanted a criminal and everything."

"Yeah, I can see how that'd get complicated," Gaz commented, "Kinda sucks for you."

"Eh, it's okay," Nyx replied with a shrug, "They keep me from playing games, I blow up a bunch of their infrastructure. I'd say that's even."

Gaz actually chuckled a little at that, imagining herself venting her own gaming-related frustrations like that. Despite herself, she found she was actually liking Nyx's company, beyond merely her knowledge of alien games. She had a wicked sense of humor, zero tolerance for the mindless stupidity most of the people around them expressed on a regular basis, and even her refusal to be intimidated by Gaz's mere presence (without daring to openly defy her, like that bitch Viera) was oddly endearing. Really, the only downside was her blatant hero worship of that idiot Zim, but hey, no one was perfect.

"Well, isn't this a charming scene?" a familiar voice suddenly spoke up from nearby.

" _Speak of the devil,_ " Gaz thought with annoyance, frowning as her good mood was spoiled. Looking to the source of the voice, she found Zim walking next to her and Nyx, albeit whilst standing on top of a short fence they were walking past, for some reason. Skoodge was also present, hanging a few feet back, actually on the sidewalk, but who cared about him?

"I must say, Dib-Sister, I'm surprised to see you actually interacting with someone without reducing them to a pulp of blood and agony," Zim commented.

"Most people are annoying idiots. Nyx is cool," Gaz replied, before shooting Zim a glare, "And I have a _name_. Use it."

Zim wilted slightly under the glare, but shook it off, huffed, and turned his attention to his newest minion, "As for you, Nyx, I'm surprised to find you acting so… _friendly_ with one of the Earth-monkeys, even one as moderately impressive as the Gaz-Beast."

"What can I say? She's fun and has good taste in entertainment," Nyx replied with a shrug, while Gaz silently debated whether she should take being called a "beast" as an insult or a compliment. Deciding to split the difference and just ignore the comment altogether, she cracked open an eye to give Zim an appraising look.

"Did you actually want something, or are you just being annoying like usual?" she asked dryly.

Zim frowned at the mild insult, but shook it off and responded, "Just a little warning, I suppose. You should be careful about openly engaging with Zim or any of my minions. It might tip the Dib-Stink off that we're allies."

"Allies? Yeah right," Gaz snorted, causing Zim to blink in surprise.

"Eh? But you helped me before, when you gave me the coordinates to the Meekrob weapon!" he protested.

"Yeah, 'cause I wanted to spite Dib and thought you'd kill Viera in the crossfire. Not that you could even do that right," Gaz said, "That aside, though, I have absolutely zero desire to be part of your pointless pissing match with Dib and Tak."

Zim scowled, and even Nyx was frowning a bit.

"Hey, you could be a _little_ more respectful," she said, only to receive an eye roll.

"Whatever. Just because you put him up on a pedestal, you shouldn't expect me to," Gaz said, starting to walk away, "I kinda like you, so it'd be a shame if I had to doom you for trying to force me to pretend I like this lunatic."

Zim continued to scowl after her, before shifting to a smirk as inspiration suddenly struck. Walking quickly atop the fence to keep up with Gaz, he said, "You're right, Little Gaz, that _would_ be a shame, but it would hardly be the only one."

"Who are you calling little? We're the same height, dumbass," Gaz snapped, not breaking stride or turning back to look at him, "And what are you talking about, anyway?"

"Oh, nothing much," Zim said, mock-casually, "I'm just saying that it would be a shame if your worm-baby of a brother were to _somehow_ find out about you telling Zim where to find Project Domination. You may have convinced yourself it was just some small thing, done to prove a point, but I imagine that the Dib would take the situation much more seriously."

Gaz froze mid-step, before turning to look up at Zim with an incredulous look on her face.

"Are you actually trying to _blackmail_ me?" she asked flatly.

"Well, that's such a nasty word… but yes, let's go with that," Zim said, looking utterly smug as he leaned over to smirk down at her face to face, "So, unless you want Dib to find out about how you stabbed him in the back, I'm confidant that you'll be sure to remember where your loyalties belong now."

"…Right, three problems with that theory," Gaz said after a moment of quiet thought, holding up three fingers, "Problem number one, I don't _care_ what Dib thinks about me. And even if I did, that just leads to problem number two, which is that Dib would never believe anything you have to say anyway."

"And what's problem number three?" Zim asked, slightly disgruntled. And then yelped in surprise and panic as, rather than answering in words, Gaz's arm suddenly shot out and grabbed him by the collar. Then, without any visible strain on her part, she lifted him up and threw him through the air, landing smack in a nearby puddle.

As Zim screamed in pain from the water burning his skin, and Nyx and Skoodge looked on in surprise and a little fear, Gaz stalked over to stand over the squirming Zim. Just as he registered this, she stomped her foot down hard on his chest. Confident that she now had his full attention, she said, "That's problem number three — thinking that _you_ can tell _me_ what to do. I don't work for you, Zim, and I never will. Get that through your thick skull, or next time I'll rip whatever your equivalent of a digestive tract is out through your mouth and strangle you with it. Got me?"

Barely able to breathe, Zim still managed to nod in acknowledgement. Accepting this, Gaz stepped off of him and walked away without another word. As she disappeared from view, Nyx and Skoodge snapped out of their stupors and ran over to help Zim stand up.

"Are you okay, Zim?" Skoodge asked, only to get shoved aside hard and sent sprawling onto the ground, "Yeah, you're fine."

"Infuriating she-monster," Zim hissed, as he quickly pulled out some paste and rubbed on the parts of his skin that were still burning from the water. Nyx watched this with concern, while shooting angry glances in the direction Gaz had walked off in.

" _Flirk_. I really kinda liked her. Guess now I have to blow her into atoms," she muttered, beginning to rummage in her PAK for explosives.

"No," Zim said, slapping Nyx's hands away from her PAK, to her surprise.

"Huh? Why not?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"As infuriating as Gaz is, she could still be useful," Zim explained, "I don't know why you chose to try and befriend her in the first place, but keep doing it. She may not wish to serve Zim yet, but perhaps you can slowly coerce her over time."

"Wow, that's oddly well thought out," Skoodge commented, before wincing as he realized what he'd just said.

"Are you questioning Zim's planning abilities?!" Zim snapped, rounding on Skoodge, who held his hands up defensively.

"No! I just meant, you usually don't go for such long-term stuff," he said quickly.

"Hmph," Zim scoffed, "Zim prefers results fast, but that doesn't mean I can't take the long view occasionally."

With that apparently being the last word, Zim turned on his heel and started walking. The others followed, and soon the trio found themselves back at their base. Entering the house, Zim paused, squinting an eye in surprise as he saw GIR bouncing around the living room. Not an oddity in and of itself, except for the fact that GIR was currently inside a large plastic ball.

"I'm a hamster," he said happily.

"…Okay?" Zim said slowly. Looking back at Skoodge and Nyx, he received only matching confused looks and shrugs.

"Yeah, you can thank Ying for that," the Computer explained, "He got annoyed by how GIR kept making messes when he was trying to clean the base, so he stuck GIR in that thing."

"I stand by my decision," Ying said, entering from the kitchen, carrying a tray holding a soda and doughnuts, which he walked over to Nyx, "Welcome back, Madame. Was your first day at the human educational facility satisfactory?"

"Meh, it was okay," Nyx replied, grabbing the soda and one of the doughnuts. Zim made to grab one as well, only for Ying to smack his hand away.

"Gah! How dare you strike your master?!" he demanded, glaring at the SIR, who returned his gaze stoically.

"A small correction, sir," Ying said, "I serve the Madame, not you. Don't confuse the matter just because she has chosen to serve you."

"Play nice," Nyx scolded, lightly bopping Ying on the head and handing Zim one of the doughnuts. Scowling, Zim snatched it and stomped over to the couch, tossing aside his disguise as he did so. While the others did likewise, Zim sat down and absently ate his snack while glaring into the middle distance. After only a few bites, however, he made a disgruntled sound and tossed the doughnut aside, much to Ying's visible annoyance.

"Something wrong?" Nyx asked.

"Bah. It just occurred to me, that in spite of how exciting your arrival here has been, it hasn't really changed much," Zim explained, "Sure, that data you brought me is invaluable, and in the long run will ensure Zim's victory. But in the short term I'm still stuck just sitting here, not doing anything to advance my destiny as conqueror of this mud ball, all while that wannabe Tak keeps rolling out plans, even as pathetic as they are!"

"This again?" Skoodge muttered, surprised that Zim was letting himself slide back into his funk once more. Speaking up, he said, "Come on man, don't let that get you down again. You'll get over this block and be back to dooming the humans in no time!"

"Ooh! I can help with that!" Nyx said happily, "Ying, what do I always say?"

"'Death to the Control Brains'?" Ying suggested.

"What? No… well, yeah, but I meant the other thing."

"'Boom'?"

"No! The _other_ other thing!"

"'If in doubt, blow things up'?"

"Yeah, that's it!" Nyx said, nodding happily, "I find that when _I'm_ suffering from a block, it's easiest to just go back to basics and blow random stuff up. That really gets the old brain gears spinning again."

"Hmm," Zim mused, rubbing his chin in thought, "Well, I _do_ like blowing things up… okay then! Meet me in the armory; we'll see what we have lying around for blowing up some pig-smellies!"

Now sounding almost giddy, Zim jumped up and ran towards the trashcan elevator, hopping into it and descending into the lower levels.

"Wow, that worked fast," Skoodge said, blinking in surprise.

"Yep, and I'm sure that by this time tomorrow he'll be churning out world conquest plans like never before," Nyx said, walking over to the toilet elevator, "Anyway, you coming along?"

"Nah, I think I'll sit this one out and watch the base. You go have fun, though," Skoodge replied, sitting down. Nyx shrugged and flushed herself down into the labs, Ying following after.

"Really? You're not interested in this?" the Computer asked.

"Not really. Zim just needs to blow off some steam, so I shouldn't get in the way of that," Skoodge explained, watching GIR bounce around in his bubble, "Besides, it might be a good idea to let just him and the new guys do this on their own. A nice little team-building exercise."

That said, Skoodge got comfortable, while down in the labs, Zim and Nyx began arming themselves for conflict.

_Membrane Household, Same Time_

As was usual for their more official meetings, Team Save Earth were gathered in Dib's garage. Diagrams and displays were set up on several floating hover-screens, many of them showing Nyx's minigun or Ying's Battle Mode, drawn from memory as best as possible. The three young humans were seated against the side of the Spittle Runner, looking over these displays and their written-down notes.

"Okay, so once Ying makes himself bigger, he's incredibly strong," Dib noted, looking over one of the relevant screens, "But he seemed to move slower than a normal-sized SIR Unit is usually capable of."

"Over a distance, maybe, but up close he's still pretty quick," Viera pointed out.

"So the key there, I guess, is to keep him at a distance and try to wear him down," Steve suggested.

"Sounds like the best plan with what we have available right now," Dib said, "Now, as for Nyx-"

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

The sudden sound of a series of explosions in the distance cut any further conversation short. Jumping in surprise, Dib and the twins hesitated only a moment, before grabbing their weapons and running outside, seeking the source of the noise. Looking around, it soon became clear that the explosions weren't anywhere close by, but were actually coming from further downtown, where columns of smoke were starting to billow up, even as more explosions sounded. After a moment of staring at this, Dib turned and ran back into the garage, his friends right behind. Reaching one of the hover-screens, he switched it over to a newsfeed, trying to see if the cause of the explosions was being covered.

It was, as it turned out, and the cause quickly became apparent. Namely, the large semi-humanoid-shaped mech that was currently stomping down a street, arms smashing anything they could grab, while laser cannons built into the sides blasted everything else. And there, sitting quite prominently inside the glass dome serving as the mech's head, was Zim; he was working the controls and, despite it not being audible, was clearly laughing maniacally. Meanwhile, a grinning Nyx and a stoic Ying were standing behind him, the former clearly enjoying the show as everything around the mech was destroyed.

" _This is Jeff Sheffy, live from downtown,_ " the reporter on the screen, who was standing on the sidewalk as if everything was normal, was saying, " _Where what appears to be some sort of unscheduled movie production is underway. It's leveling a good chunk of the city, but I have to say, at least it looks pretty cool. It'll probably make a bundle at the box office._ "

"A movie production? Seriously?" Steve asked in a disgusted deadpan.

"I gave up on trying to justify people's ability to rationalize stuff like this a long time ago," Dib said, starting to run out of the garage again, "Now come on, we need to get down there while there's still a city left to save."

"And do you have a plan for dealing with that thing?" Viera asked, as she and Steve chased after him.

"I think I have something that _might_ work," Dib replied, "It's not foolproof, but it'll have to work. So, here's what we'll do…"

Dib laid out out the plan, as he and his friends ran towards the continuing sound of explosions.

_Deelishus Weenie Building, Same Time_

Tak and Tenn stood in their central control room, watching Zim's rampage on the main screen. Tak was scowling, arms crossed, as she glared at her nemesis, while Tenn had a matching glare aimed at Nyx.

"Really? Getting in a mech and aimlessly destroying everything around him?" Tak scoffed, "Please. He could at least be a little strategic in what he targets, but no, he just runs around like a Digestor in heat during mating season. And he wonders why no one ever took him seriously as an Invader."

"This whole thing was probably that Defective's idea," Tenn said, not breaking her gaze from Nyx, "I mean, at least Zim's somewhat subtle most of the time-"

"Zim wouldn't know subtle if it punched him in the face," Tak snapped, "You're just looking for a reason to be more obsessed with his new lackey."

" _You're_ calling _me_ obsessed?" Tenn asked, incredulously, "You take literally every opportunity to go out of your way to insult or attack Zim even when there's no real benefit in it, and that was even before he turned traitor. And you're looking down on me for simply recognizing the threat posed by this blatantly psychotic anarchist?"

"Oh please, she's just boosting what Zim was already like. You're just mad that she bit you," Tak said dismissively.

"Of course I'm mad she bit me! Who does something like that? She…" Tenn started to rant, only to shake it off as she realized something, "Why are we even arguing about which of them is worse? Shouldn't we be focusing on stopping them?"

"Why bother?" Tak countered, "As much as I enjoy the thought of kicking Zim's treasonous _c'horta_ up and down the street, this little exercise of his is hardly a threat. Besides, if I know Dib as well as I think I do, he and his little friends are already on their way to deal with this. So, I say we simply sit back and watch our enemies fight each other, saving us what would otherwise be a waste of time and resources. Agreed?"

Tenn didn't answer right away, instead crossing her arms and returning her gaze to glaring at Nyx on the screen. Seeing this, Tak rolled her eyes.

"Aren't you the one always calling me out on acting 'unprofessionally' for how I focus on Zim? Are you really going to do the same with some no-name lunatic?" she asked. Tenn turned her glare on Tak, but when Tak matched in evenly, she finally huffed and looked away.

"Okay. Maybe you're right, and I'm making something out of nothing regarding Nyx," she said, "So we sit this fight out. But I'm going to make contingency plans to deal with her anyway, just in case my instincts are right and she turns out to be more of a threat than you're willing to admit."

"Fine, whatever," Tak replied, already turning her attention back to the screen. Tenn shot her another dirty look, before turning on her heel and briskly leaving the room. Tak didn't bother watching her leave, instead focusing on the screen. Despite herself, she found her gaze turning towards Nyx.

"I don't know where you come from or what your deal really is," she muttered to herself, "And I don't care. You're just a bit player in the grand scheme of things here. I survived Zim actually having someone competent on his side, I'll have no problem dealing with a lunatic fangirl like you. This is _my_ planet to conquer, and _nothing_ will get in the way of that."

Monologue complete, Tak fell silent, waiting to see what would happen next, anticipating watching her enemies coming to blows.

_Downtown Doomsville, Same Time_

Zim laughed with maniacal glee as he blasted another building. Even as it collapsed into rubble, he picked up a parked truck in the mech's hands and tossed it through the air to smash into a gas station, which promptly went up in a fireball.

"Woo!" Nyx chimed in, watching the explosion, "That was one of the best ones yet. Definitely a solid 8."

"Eh? Only an 8?" Zim asked, offended, "That was a magnificent explosion!"

"Yes, but it only destroyed that one facility without triggering any secondary blasts that then spread to surrounding buildings," Ying commented. At Zim's surprised look, he said, "The Madame programmed with a full list of criteria for critiquing the, and I quote, 'awesomeness' of explosions."

"Okay…" Zim replied, blinking, before shrugging it off, "Then Zim will simply have to demonstrate what real explosions look like!"

Zim scanned his surroundings, searching for a suitable target. Spotting a particularly large skyscraper nearby, he powered up both of the laser cannons to maximum capacity and aimed at it. But before he could fire, twin streams of plasma shot in from nowhere, entering the turrets of the cannons. The sudden influx of foreign plasma caused that which was being gathered within the cannons to destabilize, resulting in it bursting out any way it could-

_BOOM!_

-which naturally meant exploding, leaving the mech with huge holes in its sides and stumbling about as Zim tried to recover from the shock and regain control of the machine. Finally managing to get it stable again, he looked around for the source of the attack and growled as his suspicions were confirmed — Team Save Earth were standing a little further down the street, Dib's gauntlets and Steve's blaster still smoking from what had clearly been their attacks, while Viera stood behind them, Eye of Fire clutched in one hand and a bag thrown over her shoulder.

"Dib! How dare you interfere with Zim's recreation?!" Zim shouted, voice broadcasting over speakers surrounding the mech's "head". Dib blinked in surprise at that statement, before scowling as it fully registered.

"Recreation? You mean this isn't even some plan? You were just bored?" he demanded, sounding utterly disgusted.

"That's just pathetic," Viera said, Steve nodding in agreement. In response, Zim snarled, raising the mech's arms aggressively.

"Zim will show you pathetic!" he said, charging the mech forward and slamming its arms down towards the three young humans, who quickly jumped out of the way, leaving the mech's hands to smash into the street.

"Well, we got his attention at least," Steve commented dryly, "Now let's just hope we actually survive the rest of the plan."

"Complain later, move now!" Viera shouted, launching a fireball at the mech before darting off down the street. Steve likewise fired off a few shots, before running after his sister. Zim started chasing after them, only for a plasma blast to rock the mech. Looking to where it had come from, he saw Dib with his gauntlets still outstretched and smoking from the attack. Upon seeing that he'd gotten Zim's attention, Dib turned and ran off, in the opposite direction from where the twins had gone.

"Grr," Zim growled wordlessly, watching his enemies running off in different directions, before turning to Ying and snapping, "You! Make yourself useful and go after the Not-Dibs while I pursue Dib!"

Ying didn't respond, instead looking to Nyx, who merely nodded at him. Nodding his acknowledgement back, he pressed a button on a nearby console, causing an opening to appear in the glass dome. Stepping through it, he casually stepped off of the side of the mech and dropped towards the street, shifting into his Battle Mode as he did so. Hitting the ground, he began pursuing the twins, while Zim turned the mech to chase after Dib.

Not paying any attention to the mech as they moved away from each other, Ying focused on the twins, who had just rounded a corner. A few moments later he rounded it as well, only to be brought up short as he found himself being pelted with a barrage of plasma blasts. Steve was laying down atop a parked car, a blaster in both hands and alternating between which one was firing, allowing him to circumvent the precious few seconds needed for recharging and keep up an unending stream of fire. Meanwhile, Viera was standing a few feet away, holding the Eye of Fire in both hands and quietly chanting something.

Ignoring Viera for the moment, Ying focused on Steve. Raising his arms in front of himself as a makeshift shield to deflect the plasma blasts, he charged forward, heading straight towards where Steve was perched. As he closed the distance, Steve's eyes widened, and at the last minute he jumped out of the way, rolling across the pavement while Ying slammed into the car, sending it flying through the air to crash in a heap further down the street.

Turning in the direction Steve had gone, Ying paused as he took in the sight of Viera, whose chanting had increased in volume and speed, her amulet now glowing intensely. More disconcertingly, the flames from the surrounding buildings which had been blown up by Zim's mech were starting to fluctuate and throb in a very unnatural way. And as Ying watched, they started streaming through the air, flowing into the Eye of Fire, its glow only growing in intensity as this happened.

"Hmm, that's troubling. Best nip this in the bud," Ying commented calmly. He began running towards her, only to stumble as a plasma blast hit his knee, more from surprise than actual damage. Turning to face its source, he caught a glimpse of Steve standing nearby, just before another plasma blast him, this time square in the helm covering his face. While most of the plasma burst harmlessly against the helm, some of it managed to squeeze through the eye slit in it, hitting Ying right in the face.

"YARRGH!" Ying screamed, clutching at his face as one of the optics of one of his eyes burst and melted, half-blinding him. As he stumbled about, trying to reorient himself, Viera's spell finally reached a crescendo, all the flames in the surrounding area absorbed into the Eye of Fire, which was now glowing like a spotlight. Face lit by that glow, Viera narrowed her eyes as she thrust the amulet in Ying's direction.

"Incendo Maximus!" she yelled, discharging the spell. With a roaring sound, a fireball the size of a double-decker bus burst out of the Eye and soared through the air. It hit Ying head on, and the force of the resulting explosion sent the robot flying into a partially demolished building, smashing through the wall, causing the whole thing to collapse completely.

As the dust and debris finished settling, Viera breathed a sigh of relief, feeling somewhat drained from the mystical exertion of what she'd just done. Meanwhile, Steve walked over, eyeing the collapsed building warily.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I'm good," she replied, wiping some sweat off her brow, "Nice move with shooting him in the eyes, by the way."

"Meh, lucky shot," Steve said with a shrug, still keeping an eye on the building's rubble, "Think there's any chance that took him out of commission?"

Before Viera could respond, part of the rubble flew apart in a spray as Ying came bursting out. His armor was scorched and dented, and only one eye light was visible through his helm, but other than that didn't appear to be seriously damaged.

"…Clearly not," Viera said with a resigned sigh, she and Steve lifting their weapons again as Ying started to slowly approach them.

"I admit to rather admiring your ingenuity and tenacity," the robot said, an undercurrent of anger audible in his usual stoic tone, "But now I'm afraid you've managed to infuriate me. Well done. Now please stand still while I kill you."

With that, Ying charged once again, the twins turning and running in response.

"Well, this is working wonderfully," Steve said dryly, while firing a few shots over his shoulder.

"Shut up and just keep ahead of him," Viera replied, hoping that Dib's side of the plan was working as well as theirs was.

XXXXXXX

Meanwhile, while all this was going on, Dib was literally running circles around Zim's mech. As he'd expected, its bulky size and overall design meant that it was ill-equipped for quick movements or trying to grab something as comparatively small as a human child. As such, with its weapons disabled, only it could do was stumble around and try to stomp on or swipe at him as he ran around its feet, dodging the clumsy attacks and either launching plasma blasts from his gauntlets or using them to inflict enhanced punches on the mech's legs.

Up in the mech's cockpit, Zim was getting increasingly angry at the situation. Especially when he spotted Dib shooting him a smug look after dodging a strike from one of the mech's hands and hitting it with a plasma-infused punch. Growling in rage, he looked around for some other means of attacking, in place of the destroyed plasma cannons, when his gaze fell on Nyx, who was glaring down at Dib as he dashed around the mech's feet.

"Nyx!" he shouted, quickly gaining her attention, "Give Zim your big gun so that I can obliterate Dib's gigantic head!"

"Er, maybe I should just do that myself?" Nyx suggested awkwardly, "My Little Friend's got kind of a kick to it-"

"Do not question Zim!" Zim snapped, "And no one kills the Dib except me! Now hand it over!"

With a slight hesitation, Nyx obeyed, pulling out the compacted form of My Little Friend and unfolding it into its full minigun form, before handing it over to Zim. Hitting a button to open a hole in the dome, Zim stuck the barrel of the weapon out that hole and took aim at Dib. Grinning as he lined up the shot, he pulled the trigger… and was immediately bowled over as the recoil hit him hard, knocking him off his feet. As a result, the stream of plasma from My Little Friend went wild, not only completely missing Dib but also cutting through the mech's control panels, destroying them.

As the mech lurched to a stop, effectively lobotomized, Zim struggled to his feet, glaring back and forth between Nyx and My Little Friend, before kicking the gun away.

"I tried to warn you," Nyx said, picking up her weapon while Zim shot her another glare.

"Be silent! If you're so good with that oversized monstrosity, you use it! But only wing Dib, so that I may finish him off myself!" Zim commanded.

"Yes sir," Nyx replied, bracing herself and taking aim, before opening fire. To Zim's annoyance, she didn't even slightly rock from recoil, her aim staying true. Dib, who had stopped to see why the mech had ceased moving, gave a yelp as he saw the attack coming and dodged out of the way just in time, the plasma barely missing him.

"Hold still, _kisgaree_ ," Nyx muttered in annoyance, shifting My Little Friend to make the constant stream of plasma follow Dib as he ran and rolled across the street, "You can't outrun this. Just a few seconds and it'll be all- what the?!"

To Nyx's surprise, Dib did stop running. More to the point, he suddenly held his gauntleted fists in front of himself, allowing the plasma to slam directly into them. The nodes lining them lit up as they absorbed the constant stream of energy being poured into them, and by the time it finally occurred to Nyx to stop the attack and cut the flow of plasma, the gauntlets were now glowing so brightly they looked like they were actually made of solid energy.

"Huh. I forgot he could do that with those," Zim said, blinking in stunned shock.

Anything Nyx had to say in response to that was preempted as Steve and Viera came barreling around a corner, followed a few moments later by Ying.

"You better be ready!" Viera called out to Dib, while flinging a fireball over her shoulder at Ying, who tanked it, "He's really pissed off!"

"I am!" Dib shouted back, "Do it! Steve, cover her!"

"Got it!" Steve confirmed. Spinning around, he charged his blasters to maximum capacity and fired. Not at Ying, whom he knew it wouldn't affect, but at the ground just in front of him. As he'd hoped, Ying was in too close proximity to the resulting hole, and moving too fast, to avoid it. As a result, he ran right into it, falling in and finding himself stuck as his waist, much wider than the hole, got lodged in place.

"Do you really believe this will hold me?" Ying asked, as he began to pound on the pavement, tearing the hole wider open.

"Nope. But it's not supposed to," Steve replied with a smirk, glancing over at his sister. While all this had been going on, she had reached into the bag she was carrying and pulled out a spell drive. Now, having found the spell she needed, she hit the activation button, triggering it. A blue glow spread from the drive, coating her whole body before coalescing in her free hand, which she then threw forward, the light zooming through the air and striking Ying.

For a moment, nothing happened, and Ying shot Viera a not-quite-smug look… and then he started glowing. He could only stare at himself in confusion, before the spell kicked in fully, and he found himself torn out of the ground and left floating in midair.

"Hey!" Nyx shouted, indignation snapping her out of the confusion she and Zim had been in since Ying and the twins had come back on the scene, "Put him down!"

"You want him back?" Viera asked, "Here, have him."

With that, Viera waved her hand, and Ying went flying through the air towards the mech. At the same time, Dib threw his hands forward, the gauntlets discharging all its collected plasma at once, in a concentrated beam that hit Ying head on. Between the momentum of Viera's spell and the force of the attack, he shot forward so fast that Zim and Nyx barely had time to panic before he slammed into the mech like an artillery shell. He smashed into and through the dome, bursting out the other side and taking the Irkens with him, the three soon disappearing over the roof of a building in the distance. Meanwhile, the plasma that had been propelling Ying dispersed as soon as he hit the mech, spreading throughout the machine, frying what was left of its control mechanisms and burning down through its body.

Team Save Earth watched as the mech collapsed, melting from the inside. Only then did they allow themselves to relax, breathing sighs of relief and slumping as the exhaustion kicked in.

"Man am I glad that's over with," Steve muttered, shooting Dib a wry look, "You think next time we can come up with a plan that doesn't involve so much running?"

"Hey, it's good cardio," Dib replied with a smirk, while wiping the sweat off his brow, "And anyway, it worked — Zim's down a war machine _and_ we managed to prove that Nyx and Ying aren't the game-breakers Zim was probably hoping they were."

"Which hopefully means he won't go all out with them in the future," Viera commented as she put the spell drive back in her bag. Pausing to look at the destroyed mech in thought for a moment, she added, "Speaking of proving things, you think we should take some pictures of this thing for the other Eyeballs? It'd be nice to have some proof about all this to show them for once."

"Especially if it shuts up that Spider Monkey jerk," Steve added.

"Yeah, it would be," Dib nodded in agreement, "Let's grab a camera, and then-"

_BOOM!_

With a flash of light and near-deafening roar, the remains of the mech exploded, as its power core was compromised by the spreading damage and detonated. Within seconds, all that was left of it was some smoldering debris around a smoking crater, which the three humans stared at in awkward silence.

"…That figures," Dib sighed in resignation after a moment, "Okay. Guess we'll just call it a day, then. Let's go, before someone who realizes all this damage is real shows up and blames us for it."

The twins couldn't argue with, and as such, the three quickly left the scene.

_Zim's Base, Some Time Later_

In one of the auxiliary lab spaces deep inside the base, Nyx stood over a table, goggles in place over her eyes as sparks flew every few seconds. Ying, back in his main form, was lying on the table, cables and wires connected into his head as Nyx worked him over with tools.

"How's that?" Nyx asked, as she finished installing a new eye to replace Ying's damaged one, micro-welding the last of the optic coils into place and inserting the eye into the socket.

"The replacement is fully functional, Madame," Ying replied, rolling the eye around and blinking a few times to make sure it was working right, "And auto-repairs have already restored the rest of my systems to 89 percent efficiency."

"Not good enough! _Flirking_ big-headed human; how he dare he blast a beautiful piece of technology like you? Now I know why Zim hates him so much," Nyx ranted, flinging the welding torch against a wall.

"Yes, he did seem rather perturbed at losing this fight," Ying said, thinking back to how Zim had screamed and raved all the way from where they'd landed to when they'd arrived back at base. In fact, Ying was fairly certain he was still doing so, judging by still being in the middle of it when they'd left him on the surface level, yelling at Skoodge, who'd made the mistake of gaining Zim's attention by innocently asking what had happened, while they slipped away down here so that Nyx could start on Ying's repairs.

" _Well, better him than either of us,_ " Ying thought dryly.

"I'm not surprised by that," Nyx muttered angrily, "Imagine having so many plans — far more important than a fun excursion like this was supposed to be — ruined by that smug, huge-headed, stupid-looking, precious-robot-smashing monkey!"

"I fear you may be taking this a tad personally, Madame," Ying commented, noting the manic gleam starting to appear in Nyx's eyes.

"You're damn right I'm taking this personally! You're mine, and no lower life form's allowed to hurt you!" she practically screamed, grabbing him and pulling him into a tight hug, which he quietly returned while she breathed heavily. After a few minutes she composed herself and pulled away, continuing, "Anyway, this isn't just about me. That stinking human is the reason Zim hasn't been able to conquer this planet and show the whole universe how awesome he is. And what if he somehow finds out about Miz and the New Order and starts screwing all that up too?"

"That seems highly unlikely. And even if he does, Zim already wants the human dead, so wouldn't such a situation just give him extra incentive to act on that?"

"Probably," Nyx admitted, grabbing another tool from the nearby workbench, "But he really shouldn't have to, not when he's got much more important things to worry about. And as both a loyal supporter of Zim's amazing cause and someone else who can now say that I hate Dib with a passion, I owe it to Zim to clear the way for him, so he can claim his victory without any pests getting in his way."

"Madame, all things considered, I don't believe a unilateral decision like this is the wisest course of action," Ying protested calmly, as Nyx went back to work on him.

"Of course it is," she said firmly, tone making it clear her decision was final, "He needs to pay, for being in Zim's way for so long and for what he's done to you. And mark my words, Ying, he will."

Seeing that he wouldn't be changing his mistress' mind, Ying stayed quiet. For her part, so did Nyx, who continued to work on repairing him, even as her mind was already elsewhere, plotting revenge.

" _Oh yes, you will pay, Dib,_ " she thought darkly, " _You will pay in droves…_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked that. I know there wasn't much there overall, but I hope what was there was enjoyable.
> 
> Please comment!


	3. The Hunt of Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyx puts a hit out on Dib, summoning bounty hunters from across the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, Happy Holidays to all my readers. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or some other holiday I'm forgetting, I hope you all enjoy the season.
> 
> Anyway, this is going to be a fun one, and will be important in the long run… and that's all I'm saying on that front, before I spoil anything. On a separate note, this is the 25th chapter in total in the whole TNAIZ series. Yay for first milestone reached!
> 
> Read on!

The cafeteria of Doomsville Middle Skool was bustling as it always was during lunch. Students filed in, picked up their slop from the old ladies behind the counters who dished it out robotically, sat down with their friends, and tried to force the food down without being killed by it. This was all the same as it was virtually every other day at this skool.

Also happening as normal was the three-way face off taking place off to one side of the room. As had become their custom for some time, Team Save Earth were sitting at one table, while Zim and Skoodge sat at another and Tak and Tenn sat at a third, the three groups all seated in a way to keep a close eye on each other. As they made their way through their lunches, they kept shooting each other death glares and occasional spoken insults, though for the most part ignored each other as much they could, while the rest of the skoolchildren all did their best to pretend the group as a whole didn't exist.

Well, most of them did.

"Look at him, with that smug look on that dumb giant head of his," Nyx muttered angrily from her spot at her own table, "Thinking he's so clever cause he manages to get under Zim's skin by being annoying and always somehow getting in the way of his plans."

"Uh-huh," Gaz commented half-heartedly from where she sat next to Nyx, as had become her own custom over the last few days. This still got a few incredulous looks from the other students, but most had managed to adjust to the still unusual sight of her now having a friend.

"I mean, big deal, so he's managed to get lucky a few times to stop some of Zim's better plans," Nyx continued, not really registering that Gaz wasn't fully invested in the conversation, "He really thinks that makes him impressive or something? All he's good for is cheap shots and attacking poor defenseless military grade robots! You get what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, because you've been saying it all week," Gaz replied dryly, cracking open an eye to glance at her, "You know, if I wanted to listen to people pointlessly threaten each other, I'd be sitting over there with Dib and the other idiots, right?"

"I'm trying to make a point!" Nyx said defensively, deliberately ignoring the fact that Gaz was probably grouping Zim in that "other idiots" comment.

"No, you're whining," Gaz shot back, "Stop that and try _doing_ something about the situation if you're that upset about it."

A part of Gaz acknowledged the fact that she was encouraging a psychopath to inflict harm on her brother, and that she should probably be feeling bad about that. The rest of her didn't give a damn, if for no other reason than she knew that, given the general competence level among Irkens, the odds were probably in Dib's favor.

"I'm not whining," Nyx pouted, "I'm swearing vengeance."

"Right," Gaz said flatly, "Let me know when you move past that towards actually doing something."

Nyx could only huff in response to that, crossing her arms and lightly glaring in Dib's direction. Much as it annoyed her to admit it, she knew that Gaz was right — she shouldn't just be constantly complaining about how much she hated Dib, she should be _doing_ something to deal with him. After all, the sooner he was out of the picture, the sooner Zim could focus on eliminating the Drone and the wannabe Invader, conquering Earth, and using it as a stepping stone towards overthrowing the Control Brains' corrupt system and leading the Empire into a glorious new age.

But how to go about it? Simply blowing him up was her default thought, but that wasn't viable. It'd be easy, sure, but it would attract too much attention; even the generally idiotic humans would note if someone as noteworthy as the son if the world's smartest man was killed in an explosion, no matter how hard she tried to make it look like an accident. And she couldn't afford to risk exposing Zim's mission just for the sake of her own vendetta.

So what could she do? That really just left dealing with Dib in whatever fight was next to occur, and it kinda defeated the whole purpose of trying to eliminate him before he could interfere with any of Zim's future plans if she waited until being in the middle of one of those plans to do it. So, how was she supposed to destroy him before that happened?

" _Hang on,_ " she thought, smirking as a bolt of inspiration suddenly hit, " _Now, who says that I have to_ personally _destroy him? I mean, as long as he's eliminated, what does it matter how it's done? Hmm, yes, that could just be exactly what I need to do…_ "

Gaz arched an eyebrow as next to her, Nyx started chuckling evilly. However, she merely shrugged it off, ignoring it as the Defective quietly mapped out her newfound revenge plan.

_Planet Slumia, Later That Day_

As a primarily civilian world belonging to a military-dominated species, Slumia was different from other planets in the Irken Empire. Aside from the snack production factories and military outpost in one small sector, the rest of the planet was free to operate without much imperial government oversight. And as a consequence of this, law enforcement wasn't a particularly strong concept on most of the planet, leading to the rise of numerous criminal organizations.

Of particular note was the Green Claw Syndicate, the largest such group on the planet. They dominated the black market and criminal underworld on numerous planets across the Empire, with their headquarters and main power base being on Slumia, centered in the Black Hole Lounge, Casino & Day Spa, one of the most popular entertainment facilities on the planet.

Currently, the building was bustling with activity, as it usually was. In the cavernous main hall, large crowds of both Irkens and non-Irkens gathered around slot machines, roulette wheels, card game tables, and other games of chance, all eager to throw away their hard earned monies for the slim chance of winning even greater rewards. Meanwhile, just as many people were passing through the room on their way to the other forms of pleasure available to them, be it the various bars and restaurants, the video game arcades, or the relaxation suites, all providing relief from the daily grind for a fairly large yet fair fee.

And overlooking it all from a balcony attached to his office several floors up was the Black Hole's owner, the undisputed leader of the Green Claws, a moderately-tall male Irken named Grissom. Or, as he was also known, Green Grissom, on account of how that color described everything about him — from his emerald eyes, to his three-piece suit, to his matching top hat, to even his PAK, which he'd had painted green to go with the rest of his theme.

At the moment, Grissom was leaning one hand against the balcony railing, a glass of Vortian firewhiskey held in the other which he was sipping from while looking down at his customers and listening to the report being given by the aide standing behind him.

"…profits for the Black Hole are showing a 12 percent overall increase over last quarter," the aide was saying, "Though the accountants are certain that's just due to the most recent influx of displaced Impending Doom refugees coming to drown their sorrows, and that numbers will even out back down to their usual levels over the next several months."

"Mhm, well, better be sure to cook the books on that a little," Grissom said, "Otherwise the next time the military governor sends an inspection team, they might actually have the gall to ask for a larger bribe than usual."

"Already working on it, sir," the aide responded.

"Good. Now then, what's the word from our people on Foodcourtia?"

"Many of the non-Irken business owners are complying fairly easily on the protection taxes," the aide said, "Apparently they've been showing upticks in business due to several strikes at the Irken-owned restaurants, and are willing to pay a little extra to avoid having anything interfere with that."

"Strikes?" Grissom asked, arching an antenna in confusion.

"Inspired by the Miz broadcasts, sir. Apparently he did one on how most Food Service Drones are reduced to virtual slave labor at the whim of the Fry Lords, and it's really been catching on."

Grissom chuckled at that, taking a long swallow of his drink. Miz had been a blessing for Irkens like him, upsetting the Empire's establishment and providing openings for the syndicates to grow and profit. Now, Grissom was no revolutionary, hell he considered himself a dutiful patriot. After all, he'd been programmed as a Business Drone, tasked with being part of the carefully monitored private sector like so many others in order to give the Empire a successful and necessary economy separate from the military. It wasn't his fault that the Control Brains hadn't specified that the businesses he got involved with had to be _legitimate_. And he'd _had_ to go into crime, honestly — the Empire kept such a close grip on everything that it was almost impossible for any business not connected to the military-industrial complex to flourish. So, anything that loosened that grip even a little got a mark of approval in his book.

"We ever find out who Miz really is, we should send him a gift basket," Grissom said, "First he inspires all those riots, which makes it so much easier for us to steal all those Elite-level goods, and now this. Whoever's under that mask has been the best ally we've ever had, even if it's been unintentional."

Any reply the aide had was cut off as a beeping sounded from the interior of the office. Grunting in annoyance at the interruption, Grissom walked into the office and over to the desk, where a light was flashing on the touchscreen surface, alerting him to an incoming message. Seeing who it was from, he gave a small smirk.

"We'll discuss the rest later," he said, waving the aide off. Accepting the dismissal, the aide bowed her head and exited the room. As she left, Grissom put down his drink and sat down, before hitting the "Accept Call" button. In response, a holo-screen popped into existence over the desk, displaying Nyx.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite anarchist," Grissom greeted her warmly, "Didn't expect to hear from you again so soon after I just got you that data you were so eager to get your hands on. If you've actually figured out a way to make use of something like that already, I'd have to admit to being very surprised."

"Eh, I was never going to use it myself," Nyx replied, waving the comment off, "I just got it into the hands of someone much more qualified to use it. Anyway, that's not why I'm calling. I need you to pass a message along to the Bounty Hunter Guild."

"You're putting out a hit on someone?" Grissom asked, arching both antennae in surprise, "That's new. You usually prefer to do your own dirty work."

"Yeah, well, circumstances won't allow that this time. Long story. Anyway, here's the intel on the target," Nyx said, typing at the console on her end and causing the screen on Grissom's side to split, a picture of Dib coming up next to her, with an inset containing spacial and planetary coordinates.

"Huh. Big head like that should make him stand out and be easier to locate," Grissom commented, "So, anyone in particular you want for the job?"

"Nah, make it an open contract," Nyx replied, "I'm not taking any chances. Anyone willing to make a million monies is welcome to come take a crack at it."

"A _million_?" Grissom asked, incredulously, "The hell did this guy do to piss you off so much?"

"You don't need to know that to put out the contract," Nyx replied, frowning, "Just do it, and after I get confirmation that he's dead I'll transfer you the money to pass along, with an extra 20 percent as your fee."

"For an old friend like you? Let's make it 15," Grissom said. Nyx nodded in acknowledgement and then cut the transmission, leaving Grissom staring at the picture of Dib.

"Well, don't know who you are or what you did to get on Nyx's bad side, but I wouldn't want to be you right about now," he said, chuckling lightly. With that, he brought up another screen, and started composing a message to the Bounty Hunters Guild.

_Across Slumia, Same Time_

In a plaza just outside the main military headquarters on Slumia, a small group of Irkens were standing at attention, clearly waiting for something. Most of them were armed soldiers, but the apparent leader of the group was something else, being dressed in elegant white robes. And despite not being visibly armed, the other Irkens gave this one a wide berth, all seemingly unnerved just by being in his presence.

After a few minutes of waiting, a small hovercraft approached the group, coming to a halt a few yards away. The cockpit slid open and a figure stepped out of the craft. It was another Irken, but a very unusual-looking one. Specifically, he was a full-fledged cyborg — all four limbs were clearly robotic, cables and framework extended from his PAK to wrap around his torso, and most of the upper left portion of his head had been replaced with a metal plate, complete with his left eye having been replaced with a mechanical optical implant.

"Hello there. Lovely evening, isn't it?" the cyborg greeted the group with sarcastic glee, smirking at them and giving a wagging wave of his fingers.

"Spare me the pleasantries, Havok," the white-robed Irken replied with a frown, "You said you'd acquired the target?"

"That's what I like about you Consulars, always right to the point," Havok said, smirk not wavering. Walking to the back of his craft, he popped open the trunk and pulled out another Irken, who was bound, gagged, and heavily wounded, bruises and blood covering his face and clothes.

"As requested, the ringleader of a few of those recent riots everyone's so worked up about," Havok said, walking halfway towards the Consular and dumping his prisoner on the ground, eliciting a moan from the other Irken as he hit the pavement.

"It rather defeats the purpose of having him captured alive if he's not conscious enough to interrogate," the Consular noted dryly.

"Like you need him to _talk_ in order to interrogate him?" Havok countered. The Consular grunted in response, before closing the distance between them and kneeling down next to the prisoner. Reaching out a hand, he pressed the tips of his two main fingers against the prisoner's forehead, and both his and the prisoner's eyes started glowing. After a few moments of this, the Consular broke the contact and stood up, turning back to his guards.

"It's definitely the right person," he announced, "Take him inside and restrain him so I can conduct a more thorough interrogation."

"Hang on, first thing's first," Havok said, raising an arm and projecting a holo-screen from it, "There's still the matter of my payment."

The Consular rolled his eyes but complied with the request, pulling out a datapad and typing in a command. A moment later, Havok's screen emitted a chime and a row of numbers rolled across it, eliciting a grin from the cyborg.

"Nice doing business with you," he said, giving a lazy salute.

"Bounty hunter scum," one of the guards muttered in disgust as she and another picked up the prisoner and started carrying him inside. In response, Havok merely sneered after her.

"And where would the high and mighty Empire be without us scum?" he asked, "Hell, just look at this guy. I had to chase him all over the sector for you because Slumia's the only planet around here totally under Irken control, and even here, you regular troops don't have enough of a presence to properly track targets down. Face it — I'm just as important to the Empire as you lot are."

As Havok hoped, that seemed to incense the guards, but before he could get anymore of a rise out of them, the Consular raised a hand, silencing them.

"Enough. You've done your job and been paid, Havok. Leave," he said firmly. Havok frowned at the dismissal, but didn't press the issue. Instead, he gave a mocking bow, before turning and getting back in his hovercraft, then turning it and flying off back into the city.

A short while later, he pulled up in front of a building that was slightly less rundown than was usual for Slumia. A sign over the main doorway marked it as the local HQ for the Galactic Bounty Hunters Guild, an organization that existed as an oversight umbrella for the galaxy's various bounty hunters, both Irken and non-Irken alike.

Parking his hovercraft and offhandedly activating its security system, Havok got out and strolled over to the door, flinging it open and stepping inside. The interior of the building looked like a mildly cliche gritty bar, with dim lighting, pool tables, and rough-looking characters of all kinds of species assembled at tables and the bar itself. Many of them gave Havok dirty looks as he walked towards the bar, but no one dared do anything worse towards him.

"The usual, Corlac," he said to the bartender, a gelatinous Amoeban, tossing a handful of monies on top of the bar.

"Good job completed, Havok?" Corlac asked with a bored tone, as he scooped up the coins before mixing Havok's drink, a strong Boodie-Nen ale.

"Well, I don't know about _good_ , but it was well-paying," Havok responded, taking the glass handed to him and taking a deep drink from it, "A little too easy, though."

"Most bounty hunters don't complain about easy jobs," the battle-scarred Vortian sitting a few stools down the bar commented.

"And I'm not most bounty hunters," Havok shot back, gesturing to his cybernetics, "I was a soldier before this happened to me, built for combat. And I haven't had a decent fight since. Most of the people I get bounties for are spineless wimps who couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag! Someone give me a real challenge for once!"

Almost as if the universe were answering his plea, a bell sounded, instantly catching everyone's attention. Every bounty hunter in the room turned their attention to the holo-screens scattered around the room, which all interrupted whatever they were showing to flash an alert of an incoming message, which could only mean a fresh bounty. And indeed, a moment later they were all displaying the image of Dib, coordinates to Earth and his general location on the planet, the name of the person posting the bounty, and finally, the bounty itself, which caught a lot of the viewers by surprise.

"A million monies for one measly human? That's a steal!" the Vortian said excitedly, jumping to his feet.

"Only if you get to him first, Syrax," Havok said, finishing his drink and also standing up.

"I thought you wanted a challenging fight?" Syrax asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Hey, for that kind of money I don't care about the challenge," Havok replied, "Besides, who knows — maybe this smeet will be more impressive than he looks."

"Doubtful," Syrax snorted, as they started walking towards the door, as did several other of the present bounty hunters, all eager to go after this new prize target.

Unnoticed by any of them, however, was the figure sitting at a table in the corner of the room. Tall, wearing heavy armor and a vaguely biker-looking helmet, he was quite imposing. The black visor of that helmet stared silently at Dib's image on the holo-screens for a few moments, before the figure quietly got to his feet and walked out the door, as the area surrounding the bar was filled with the sounds of various ships taking off and beginning to the journey towards Earth.

_Earth, Doomsville Woods, A Few Days Later_

Deep within the woods outside Doomsville, Team Save Earth sat ensconced in a makeshift camouflage tent set to the side of a clearing. In the clearing itself, a decoy camp had been set up, complete with a fire burning in the middle of the camp.

"Remind me again why you think this works as Bigfoot bait?" Steve asked, as the three kept a close eye on the camp via binoculars.

"There have been numerous sightings among campers in this area recently," Dib replied, "For some reason Bigfoot's been raiding camps a lot, so it stands to reason that if we leave one lying around, he's bound to show up."

"You sure about that? Cause we've been here a while already and he's a no-show," Viera pointed out.

"Yeah, I know, but let's sit it out a little while longer, in case he does actually show up," Dib said, before muttering, "Of course, knowing my luck, while we're out here he's probably breaking into my garage to use the belt sander again."

"…One of these days, you have _got_ to tell us that whole story," Viera commented, Steve nodding in agreement.

"Later. For now, let's focus on the job," Dib said. With that, the three went back to focusing on their stakeout… unaware that they themselves were being observed as well. Above them, hidden by the various tree limbs, was a small floating metal sphere, with a red optical lens in its center, which was focused on the three young humans, transmitting what it saw further into the woods, where its owner was waiting.

Said owner was perched on a chair onboard the bridge of a relatively small spaceship, which was in turn sitting in the middle of a large web spread between two large trees. This individual was a pale-skinned female humanoid, wrapped in dark purple armor, with eight limbs that ended in clawed phalanges and a spider-like face. This was Arachnos the Spiderion, one of the most feared members of the Bounty Hunters Guild, come to stake a claim on Dib's bounty.

"Hmph, his head is even bigger in person," the spider-woman noted to herself, before shrugging it off, "No matter. His physical disfigurements have no bearing on anything. He'll fall all the same; my ingenious traps will ensnare him like all others before him."

Arachnos turned her multifaceted eyes towards other screens, which were displaying views of her handiwork. Throughout the woods, in all the places she felt the humans were likely to go from their current position, her webs had been spun. Lines of webbing were laid over the ground and between trees, near invisible to the naked eye, each grouping setting up an elaborate mechanism — upon making contact with a strand of webbing, the victim would be dragged at high speed towards a larger web, which would catch and then slingshot them through the air towards another, with the process repeating itself again and again until they would finally land here on her ship's main web, where she could then cocoon and reel them in.

It was simple, but perfect. It was elegant genius in its purest sense and it-

_TWANG!_

-was suddenly triggered as a butterfly landed on one of the strands. Arachnos blinked in surprise as it was slingshotted through the network of webs, quickly finding itself embedded beneath her ship.

"Well," Arachnos said after an awkward moment of silence, "That's somewhat embarrassing. Still, it's okay, I have more-"

_TWANG!_

"Really?" she sighed, as a hummingbird landed on the web next to the butterfly, "Fine, whatever. There's still plenty-"

_TWANG!_

_TWANG!_

_TWANG!_

_TWANG!_

Arachnos' eyes twitched as several more web snares were triggered, a variety of woodland life ending up on the main web.

"Oh, come on!" she screamed as she took in the sight, "What is wrong with this planet? Doesn't any creature here know how to respect a proper trap?!"

Grumbling angrily to herself, Arachnos popped open the cockpit of her ship and ambled out, crawling down to the web, venting her frustrations by ripping the animals out of it and tossing them away.

"I mean, honestly, can't these foolish things respect how much hard work I've put into this?" she muttered, as she pulled a fox off the web, "I waited until the human and his companions entered this forest and then completely covered their every possible exit route with these traps, and now all these filthy, stupid animals are ruining them!"

"Maybe overthinking trap?" Bigfoot commented from his spot on the web.

"Who asked you, you hairy turd?" Arachnos snapped, tossing the fox at his head, "There is no such thing as a too-complicated trap! And you know what? It doesn't matter how many of my snares you furry freaks set off. I have plenty left over to catch that human and his huge bounty, and nothing is going to stop me!"

_TWANG!_

Arachnos could only stare in disbelief at the mountain bike-style motorbike now sitting in the web, complete with a very confused-looking cyclist sitting in it.

"Uh, little help here dude?" the cyclist asked. In response, Arachnos gave a wordless scream of rage, before grabbing Bigfoot, ripping him free of the web, and tossing him at the cyclist, whom he hit head on. The force of the impact sent both Sasquatch and human flying off to disappear amongst the trees and sent the bike flying as well. However, it wasn't quite enough force to break the bike free of the webbing; the strand it was connected to stretched quite a distance, before suddenly snapping back. _Now_ the bike broke free, at just the right angle to slam right into Arachnos.

"Oof!" the Spiderion exclaimed at the impact, which was strong enough to send her flying through the air back towards her ship, through the open cockpit, and smashed into the main console in a burst of sparks. As Arachnos groaned in pain and disorientation, those sparks increased in strength and frequency, as the damaged console began to overload.

"Ugh, what hit me?" Arachnos asked, her eyes all blinking out of sequence with each other, before widening in shock as she took in the numerous alarms and sirens blaring around her.

"Oh come on. That's… that's just not _fair_ ," she moaned in despair, before a final surge ran through the ship, causing the power and engine cores to erupt in massive fireballs.

_BOOM!_

"Did you guys hear that?" Dib asked, he and the twins blinking and looking around in confusion as the sound of the explosion echoed through the forest, while a column of smoke billowed into the air unseen some distance behind them. Seconds later, a large portion of one of Arcachnos' ship's engines slammed into the ground in the middle of the campsite, the surprise and the shockwave from the impact briefly throwing the three of them into the air.

"Where the hell did _that_ come from?!" Viera exclaimed in, the three jumping to their feet and frantically pulling out their weapons, trying to keep an eye on both the smoking engine and their surroundings.

"I don't know," Dib replied, eyeing the wreckage closely, "I don't think this is Irken tech, either. Then again, that could just mean Zim or Tak got ahold of something from somewhere else. Or maybe someone else is invading Earth! Or-"

"Maybe we should actually examine it instead of just coming up with random theories about it?" Steve suggested dryly.

"Er, right," Dib said with an embarrassed cough, "Let's see if we can make some kind of makeshift sleigh for it, and then-"

_BOOM!_

As the humans looked on, the engine exploded, vaporizing itself and the campsite, leaving the humans staring in disbelief at a crater.

"…But, it looked like it had already blown up," Steve pointed out faintly, "How could it blow up _twice?_ "

"I don't even question that kind of thing anymore," Dib sighed, pinching the space between his eyes, "Let's just get out of here. I kinda doubt that Bigfoot is going to show up after this."

With that, Team Save Earth packed up their equipment and left the clearing, heading back towards the city. Five minutes later, Bigfoot entered the clearing from the opposite direction, patches of webbing still clinging to his fur in several spots. Including the one currently keeping the cyclist stuck to his back.

"Yo, a little help here? Anybody?" the cyclist called out. When no response came, he sighed and turned his attention to Bigfoot, "Guess we have to keep looking until we find someone who can separate us, big dude."

"Yay! New friend stay longer!" Bigfoot said cheerfully, walking off into the woods with a smile on his face.

_Doomsville Middle Skool, The Next Day_

Students were slowly trudging their way into the skool building, unwilling yet prepared to face yet another mind-numbing and soul-crushing day in the accursed place. Unnoticed by any of them, a figure was standing atop a conveniently-located nearby hill, observing them all. It was a centaur-looking creature, with a humanoid-like upper torso, arms and head, and an equine lower body, complete with four legs, all of it covered in a thick blue fur. This was Ma'lack the Garatron, another of the bounty hunters come to Earth.

"Let's see," he mused, high tech binoculars held up to his eyes, "Normal sized head, normal sized head, oddly shaped head, Irken in a very poor disguise, normal sized head — ah, there we are! Huge headed human youngling."

Shifting the controls on his binoculars, Ma'lack zoomed in on Dib, who was just entering the building with the twins. Making quick calculations on Dib's distance and probable direction, Ma'lack put the binoculars away in a pouch tied to his side. He then braced all four legs, before bolting forward at such speed that anyone bothering to watch would have only seen a blue blur. That blur zoomed down the hill and across the street, closing the distance with the skool within seconds and slamming through the doors. Once inside the building, he shot down the hallway, towards where Dib was walking, oblivious to the threat approaching, just unknowingly waiting to be smashed into jelly by the outstretched fists approaching him at near-sonic speeds…

…And then, just before Ma'lack could impact with him, Dib turned a corner to walk down a different hall. Caught off guard by this, Ma'lack tried to turn and follow, but without any time to slow down beforehand, this sent him skidding down the main hall, before his momentum knocked him off his hooves. Now completely out of control, he rolled down the hall in a high speed ball, before slamming into a pair of doors and flying out of the rear of the building. He then flew through the air before coming to a crash in an open dumpster, which promptly slammed shut on him.

"Oh for _dolog's_ sake. Why does this happen every time a target turns a corner?" Ma'lack muttered angrily to himself, "This tears it — first thing I'm doing once I get that bounty money is getting someone to make me a breaking mechanism of some kind. Now, where did that brat go?"

Ma'lack attempted to push the dumpster lid open and take stock of his location, only to frown in disbelief as it refused to budge.

"Come on, really? Open up, you piece of _schoolock!_

XXXXXXX

A few hours later, lunch had rolled around, and the students filed into the cafeteria to receive their daily helpings of barely-edible "food". As Team Save Earth made their way to their table, Dib made a quick detour over to Zim's table, the Irken glaring at him as he approached. 

"What do you want, Dib-Stink?" he sneered. 

"Part of a blown up spaceship crashed in the woods near where me and the others were hanging out yesterday. Did you have anything to do with that?" Dib asked, not bothering to beat around the bush. In response, both Zim and Skoodge looked confused, glancing at each other and shrugging; Nyx, sitting nearby at her and Gaz's table, perked up as she heard that, but as Dib wasn't looking in her direction he didn't notice. 

"Zim has even less understanding of what's coming out of your mouth flaps than usual, human," Zim replied, waving Dib away, "I have done nothing involving exploding spaceships recently. Now shoo! Begone with you, so that I may go back to eating my disgusting slop like a normal human worm-baby!" 

"Sure, whatever," Dib said, rolling his eyes at the response and walking back towards his table. Midway there, he passed Tak's table and paused. Turning to her and Tenn, he opened his mouth to ask them the same question, only for Tak to hold up a hand to cut him off. 

"No, I had nothing to do with whatever ship you saw in the forest," she said, not bothering to look up at him as she spoke. Dib blinked in surprise, before frowning in suspicion at her. 

"Oh yeah? Then how'd you know what I was going to ask?" he demanded. 

"We could hear you and Zim from here," Tenn stated dryly, "Your voices really carry." 

"Oh. Uh, right," Dib said, coughing awkwardly and beating a hasty retreat. 

"Well?" Steve asked, as Dib sat down at their table. 

"They're both denying it," he replied as he took his seat, "And between the fact that Zim can't convincingly lie to save his life, and that Tak wouldn't really have anything to gain by lying, I'm inclined to believe them." 

"So, back to square one, then," Viera commented, "Any theories yet on what that thing was or where it came from?" 

"Not really, considering that I didn't get a chance to actually examine it," Dib said, "Which is bad, because I can't shake this feeling that it's part of something important." 

"As long as it's not another long-lost alien superweapon, I'm good," Steve said, earning a snort from the others. 

Deciding to let the situation drop for now, Dib turned his attention to his food, only to drop his napkin as he tried to pick it up. He leaned down to grab it… seconds before a blue blur shot through the air next to the table, part of it passing right through the spot where his head had just been, before continuing on its way across the room, violently knocking several people over and disappearing through the doors into the kitchen by the time that Dib straightened back up. 

"…What?" he asked, noticing the surprised looks on his friends' faces. 

While the twins were trying to explain what had just happened to Dib, Ma'lack was lying in a heap in the kitchen, having slammed into a wall before he could bring himself to a controlled stop. From his spot, he glared at the ceiling, fuming in silent rage. 

"Of all the times for him to duck. Why can't he just sit still and let me kill him already?" the bounty hunter grumbled to himself as he pulled himself to his hooves, "Grr, I'm starting to think I should just tear this whole building down and drop it on his oversized head. In fact, if my next charge doesn't do the trick, I think I just might!" 

With that, Ma'lack threw himself forward into another zooming sprint, only to quickly come up short as pain suddenly blossomed in all of his ankles. Crying out in surprise and agony, he collapsed back to the ground. Groaning, he pushed himself up into a sitting posture and looked down at his legs to see what had happened. To his utter shock, he'd apparently run into a set of bear traps, which were all locked firmly just above his hooves. 

"Wh-what?" he managed to sputter out through the pain. A cleared throat from nearby caught his attention, and he looked up to see that a terrifying figure had appeared to loom threateningly over him. 

"Congratulations, blue boy," Nny sneered sarcastically, hands tightly gripping the chains connected to the bear traps, "You actually managed to get me to care about some of the weird shit that happens at this skool. Unfortunately for you, you did it by breaking my one rule and threatening children. That ain't gonna fly, pal, so now it's time to teach you a lesson." 

With that, Nny turned towards a nearby meat locker and flung the door open, before beginning to walk into it, dragging Ma'lack behind him by the chains. The crippled bounty hunter screamed and begged, hands scrambling for any kind of purchase to halt his movement, only for it all to fail. He disappeared into the locker, screams quickly being muffled as the door slammed shut behind him. 

The kitchen staff, who had observed all of this without comment, shrugged it off and went back to work. They weren't paid enough to interfere with the creepy janitor, after all. 

_Havok's Ship, Lunar Orbit, Same Time_

Havok leaned back in his seat in the cockpit, taking in the various holo-screens surrounding him, which were displaying the video feeds from the surveillance drones he'd dispatched down the planet below. He'd arrived quite some time ago, and had been spying on the target ever since, including watching as his competition arrived and kept utterly failing. 

"Heh, amateurs," he chuckled, re-watching the video of Arachnos blowing herself up and the new footage of Ma'lack running himself right into a horrible fate, "Everyone knows you're supposed to stake out and monitor your target before making a move, rather than just rushing into a confrontation. I'm honestly survived they lived this long, if this is how they operate a job." 

Shaking his head in mild disgust, Havok went back to taking his own advice, looking at the live feeds from his various drones, which were monitoring both Dib himself, as well as everyone he interacted with and every place he visited, all to ensure that he had the most complete picture of what Dib was capable of and what resources and allies he had access to. Right now, that meant watching him at skool, but he was also closely watching several other locations, including his house. 

"Speaking of which," Havok muttered, bringing up the feed from that drone, and was only slightly surprised to see that a familiar figure was currently skulking around the exterior of the building, "Hello, Syrax. Trying to lay an ambush for the human smeet in his home? That's rather clever… but not as clever as letting you go in first to test his security measures for me." 

Havok chuckled again, leaning back into his chair again to watch and see what happened. 

XXXXXXX

Syrax crept stealthily outside of the Membrane household, dashing through the foliage of the woods just beyond the backyard. He'd chosen not to perform a frontal approach not just because that would make him more likely to be seen by the other humans in the neighborhood, but because the main entrance of a domicile would be the one most likely to be the most heavily defended. By contrast, rear entrances tended to be more often overlooked in regards to defense measures. 

And, indeed, his scans showed only simple locks on the house's rear door, and no surveillance equipment monitoring it. Smirking at how easy this was turning out to be, the Vortian approached the door, quickly picking the locks and entering, finding himself in a kitchen. A quick exploration of it and the rest of the ground floor followed, after which he concluded that it wasn't an adequate place to set up a proper ambush. 

"Hmm, should I hide in the basement and launch an attack from there?" he mused to himself, eyeing the door that led to Professor Membrane's basement lab, before shrugging it off, "Nah, I think I'll just hide in his personal quarters and blast him when he gets home. Now then, those are probably upstairs, so let's see what we're working with." 

Syrax walked up the stairs carefully, one hand hovering over the blaster holster on his hip, keeping an eye out for any boobytraps or security measures he might have overlooked. Nothing happened, however, and he reached the upper floor in short order. Once there, he paused, looking at the various doors, trying to figure out which one was Dib's room. 

"This'd probably be easier if I knew anything about him other than what he looks like," Syrax muttered, before deciding to just check every room for clues until he knew which one was the one he wanted. Picking one at random, he opened it and walked into the darkened room beyond. Fumbling along the wall for a moment, he found the light switch and triggered it, revealing him to be in a bedroom that was, in a word, dark — from the black-painted walls to the creepy dolls scattered around the room, everything about it was creepy and somehow disturbing. 

"Well, this is… something," Syrax said, slightly unnerved by feeling of dread that seemed to permeate the air. He took a step further in, only to jump back in surprise as the eyes of all the dolls suddenly lit up with a red glow, and their heads slowly turned to face him, blades emerging from limbs and mouths in the process. 

"What the hell kind of security system is this?" Syrax asked incredulously, even as he whipped his blaster free and opened fire. His first few shots hit home, destroying the dolls they hit, but just as the Vortian was starting to think that this was going to be an easy fight, the dolls adapted, and began moving faster, easily evading his shots. Too panicked and surprised by this for it to even occur to him to try and flee the room, Syrax soon found himself overwhelmed by the dolls and dragged screaming to the floor. 

XXXXXXX

"…Well, that's different," Havok said, blinking in surprise as Syrax's fate played out on the holo-screens before him. After a few minutes of stunned shock, he snapped out of it and turned towards analyzing the situation properly, "Okay, so, the house is obviously well-defended. Might just make a confrontation there a bit interesting. Still, I should make a few contingencies to deal with those things, just in case they're even tougher than they look." 

As Havok turned to make a note on a datapad, an alert sounded from his console. Looking at it, he saw that another ship had entered Earth's orbit and was heading towards the surface. Assuming this was another bounty hunter, he checked its transponder code for an identification, and arched an antenna in surprise as he read it. 

"Huh, didn't expect him of all people," he mused, "He never struck me as being ambitious enough for a mark this big. Hmm, well, when he fails, I can still get some useful data out of it for when I eventually make my move." 

Turning his attention back to his spy drones, Havok prepared to see how this next fight would play out. 

_Membrane Household, Same Time_

Skool having let out for the day, Team Save Earth was making their way towards Dib's house, all of them now more bewildered than ever. Several other people had seen the blue blur that the twins had witnessed nearly hitting Dib, and while they'd all brushed it off with a wide variety of explanations, that at least confirmed it had actually existed, even if it left them with no idea what it actually was. The fact that all the Irkens had seemed confused as well hadn't helped that any. 

"Maybe the skool is haunted?" Viera suggested, as they approached the house. 

"I doubt it," Steve replied, "If only because any ghost would probably be too scared of Miss Bitters to stick around." 

"Plus, there's no way it's a coincidence that this happens the day after that ship wreckage crashes right in front of us," Dib added, "There's _something_ going on here, and I can just tell it's important, but I can't put the pieces together in a way that makes sense." 

"Well, I'm sure we'll figure it out even…" Steve started to say, only to trail off as a humming sound filled the air. Looking up, Team Save Earth were greeted by the surprising sight of a small, sleek spaceship that looked somewhat like a giant lawn dart. It zoomed through the air over them, before swooping down to come in for a landing on the Membrane lawn. 

"And of course no one's around to see this," Dib muttered, noting that aside from the three of them, the neighborhood was currently completely empty. Shaking off his annoyance at that, he quickly pulled out his gauntlets and put them on, the twins likewise whipping out and priming their own weapons as the three of them carefully approached the ship. Just as they reached it, a hatch on its side slid open, and a figure emerged from the interior — tall and humanoid, wearing black heavy armor and a matching biker-like, face-concealing helmet. 

" _Dib Membrane,_ " the figure said in a digitally-distorted voice, " _I have come for you-AH!_ " 

The figure was cut off with a yelp as they had to jump aside to avoid the streams of fire and plasma launched at him. Hitting the ground in a heap, they looked up to find the trio leaned over them, weapons all fully charged with energy and aimed right at them. 

" _Wait, wait, wait!_ " the figure shouted, waving their arms frantically, " _That wasn't a threat! It- wait, let me take the helmet off first._ " 

The team warily watched as the figure fumbled with its helmet, and then stared in surprise as it was pulled away to reveal that the figure was apparently human. He was male, early middle-aged, and white, with black hair and a small goatee. Then Dib's eyes widened in even further shock, caused by recognition. 

"Mr. Dwicky?!" he exclaimed in surprise. 

"Who?" the twins asked in sync, blinking in confusion. 

"Hey Dib, good to see you again," Dwicky said cheerfully, "And look, you've actually made some friends. That's great!" 

"Seriously, you know this guy?" Viera asked, arching an eyebrow at Dib. 

"Unfortunately," Dib sighed, rubbing his forehead, "Steve, Viera, meet Mr. Dwicky, the former skool guidance counselor. I got sent to him once, and he decided to 'help' me by pretending to believe me about Zim just so he could humor me until he could figure out what my 'real' problem was." 

"Wow, that's a jerk move," Steve said bluntly. 

"I'm sorry about that, if it helps," Dwicky commented awkwardly. 

"It doesn't," Dib said flatly, before continuing his explanation, "Anyway, he helped me set up a trap for Zim that got crashed by some other aliens, who invited him to go into space with them, which he did… and he took my camera, which had actual evidence exposing Zim as an alien on it, with him." 

"Sorry about that too," Dwicky said as he got to his feet, "Bet that probably would have helped you out some." 

"Ya think?" Dib asked bitterly, while giving Dwicky's armored form a closer look, "What happened to you after that, anyway? I mean, look at you!" 

"Well, it's a long story," Dwicky replied with a shrug, "But the short version is that after a series of thrilling adventures, I discovered I have a talent for fighting with alien tech, and took up a career as a bounty hunter." 

"…That seems really unlikely," Dib said after a moment, "But that aside, why are you back now, when you've apparently got such an awesome life out in space?" 

"I came back because of this," Dwicky responded. Holding out an arm, he tapped a button on a wrist-mounted console, out of which popped a holo-screen displaying Dib's face and alien writing. 

"A picture of me?" Dib asked, he and the twins blinking in confusion. 

"It's a bounty alert," Dwicky explained, tone turning more serious, "Someone's put a price on your head." 

"What?!" the three younger humans shouted. 

"Yep. And considering how high a price we're talking about here, it means someone _really_ wants you dead," Dwicky continued, "As soon as I saw this, I figured I had a responsibility to come warn you about it, especially since I saw how many other bounty hunters were planning to come gunning for you." 

"That'd explain all the weird stuff that's been happening lately," Steve commented faintly, he and the others still in vague shock at Dwicky's revelation. 

"Who the hell would… no, wait, this has Zim written all over it," Dib said, shock turning to anger and his face morphing into a scowl. 

"Really?" Viera asked, "I always thought he had that whole obsession with killing you himself. Now as for Tak, her I can see putting a hit out on you." 

"Well, whoever it is, going for the source seems the only way to stop this before it gets worse," Dwicky said, tapping buttons on his wrist console and causing Dib's bounty poster to be replaced with a scanner map of the city, several icons flashing on it, "Now then, according to my scanner, there are a couple of Irken bio-signatures over at the city mall. I don't know if that's the ones you're talking about, but it might be a good idea to confront them somewhere public." 

"Right, let's go," Dib said, leading the way, "For the record, Mr. Dwicky, I'm not saying I've forgiven you, but I am willing to let you help out on this to make up for it." 

"That works for me," Dwicky replied as he followed after Dib and the twins. The group disappeared down the street just in time to miss seeing Gaz's security dolls emerging from the house dragging a bloody sack containing the remains of Syrax, which they dumped in the garbage, before retreating back into the house. 

_City Center Mall, Shortly After_

Team Save Earth and Dwicky arrived at the mall in short order, and it didn't take much longer beyond that to find who they were looking for. They simply had to follow the sounds of yelling, which led them to a hallway where they found Zim screaming threats and obscenities at a rather bored and annoyed-looking Tak, who was holding a shopping bag. MIMI stood on guard behind her mistress, while GIR stood behind Zim, dragging a small wagon stuffed with bags behind him and drinking absently from a Suck Monkey, perking up as Dib's group approached. 

"Hi Big Head!" he said happily, waving at Dib and catching the Irkens' attention. It said something about the seriousness of the situation that Dib didn't bother refuting the comment about his head. 

"Eh? Dib! Not-Dibs! And, uh, who are you?" Zim yelled, only to trail off in confusion as he took note of Dwicky. 

"I'm Mr. Dwicky. We met briefly during that thing with the Plookesians?" Dwicky offered. 

"Oh, right," Zim replied, tone making it clear he didn't actually remember the incident in question, "Anyway, what are you doing here, Dib-Stink? Can't you see I'm in the middle of gathering supplies for an ingenious new plan to conquer this pitiful planet?" 

"Oh please, you bought out the surplus stock at a failing electronic store's 'everything must go' sale," Tak commented dryly, "I'm pretty sure that's just a bunch of random junk you'll bang together until it's been reduced to scrap. Some 'ingenious plan'." 

"Yeah? Well what big idea are you working on that you're buying stuff for?" Zim demanded, glaring at her. 

"Sorry, telling everyone the details of a plan in advance is _your_ thing, not mine," Tak shot back. 

"Enough already!" Dib snapped, before Zim could fire off a retort, "We're here because someone put out a hit on me, and we want to know which of you it was." 

"What?!" Zim exclaimed, while Tak blinked in surprise. In response, Dwicky brought up the bounty alert again and showed it to the Irkens. 

"So, are you going to admit it was you?" Dib demanded, narrowing his gaze at his nemesis. 

"How dare you accuse Zim of outsourcing?!" Zim snapped, catching the humans off guard with the vehemence of his tone, "You think Zim would dilute the sweet nectar of your demise with some middle person? Never! The nectar of your destruction is for Zim alone to succor as he dances upon the field of your end in glorious glory!" 

There was a moment of awkward silence as everyone stared at Zim, before Viera finally broke it. 

"Okay… disturbing wording aside, that pretty much holds with my theory," she said, before turning to Tak, "Anything you want to say?" 

"Only that I wish I'd thought of something like this myself," she replied with a shrug, glancing at the alert, "Also, even if I _were_ to put a bounty out on you, I wouldn't pay this much — I'm not made of monies." 

"Well if neither of you ordered this, then who did?" Dib demanded, "I don't have any other alien enemies. Not that I know of, anyway." 

"It doesn't matter!" Zim declared, "Whoever's doing this is, I shall find them, and they shall taste my mighty fist of doom for daring to infringe on Zim's vendetta!" 

With that, Zim grabbed GIR by the collar and dragged him off, their wagon apparently forgotten in the rush. Everyone else watched him in go in silence, before Tak eventually spoke up. 

"I'll take that as my cue to leave. I'd wish you luck with all this, but I hate you," she said bluntly, before likewise walking away, MIMI following behind her. 

"Great, so now we're back to square one," Steve grumbled, "Now what do we do?" 

_BOOM! CRASH!_

A wall suddenly exploded down the hall from where they were standing, and out of the smoke emerged a floating metal sphere covered in glowing spikes and eye sensors. At the same time, a creature who looked like a small purple goblin with wings and carrying a large blaster rifle came bursting through a skylight and swooped down to hover next to the robot. 

"Out of the way, Dwicky! The bounty is ours!" the goblin shouted, priming his weapon. 

"Friends of yours?" Dib asked Dwicky warily. 

"TRL-69 and Gabbrot," Dwicky replied, pulling a large blaster out from the holster on his back, "Pretty bottom barrel on the bounty hunter hierarchy. Surprised they bothered to take such a high-level mark." 

"Who are you calling bottom barrel?" Gabbrot snarled, "Just for that, I'm gonna blast you too! TRL, get the other humans!" 

The floating robot trilled out a response in beeps and whistles, before several of its spikes glowed brighter and it fired off plasma blasts at Steve and Viera, who dodged to the side and took cover behind a wall column. At the same time, Gabbrot opened fire at Dib and Dwicky, who jumped behind a clump of benches and decorative plants. 

"Stay down!" Dwicky shouted to Dib as he rose over their cover and fired back at the other bounty hunters, "I'll handle- huh?" 

Dwicky could only stare in surprise as Dib suddenly jumped up, gauntlets in place on his hands, and punched a wave of plasma at Gabbrot. Nearly simultaneously, the twins popped out from behind their own cover and returned fire at TRL with their own weapons. The bounty hunters gave cries of distress and leapt through the air, barely avoiding being hit. 

"Yeah," Dib said a little smugly to the stunned-looking Dwicky, "I've gotten a little tougher since the last time we saw each other." 

"…I can see that," Dwicky said faintly, before ducking as Gabbrot opened fire again. After that, conversation lulled as the fight raged on. 

_Zim's Base, Same Time_

Skoodge and Nyx were sitting on the couch, watching TV, while Minimoose floated nearby and Ying stood at attention next to the couch. Nyx reached over to a nearby snack bowl, only to frown as she noticed it was empty. 

"Ying? Could you go grab us some more snacks?" she asked, receiving a nod in response. 

"Of course, Madame. I think we still have a few bags of Nacho Munchins in storage on the ship," Ying replied, before turning and walking towards the rear door. 

"We _really_ should get around to moving your ship inside the base," Skoodge commented, watching Ying leave. 

"Meh, I'm fine with it," Nyx replied with a shrug, "I figure that's a perk I've gotta earn. _But_ , I think I'll be getting on Zim's good side enough to earn just about anything soon enough." 

"Really? For what?" Skoodge asked, blinking in confusion. 

"Well, it was going to be a surprise, but I guess I can trust you," Nyx said with a smirk, "You see, I-" 

_SLAM!_

Whatever Nyx had been about to say was cut off as the front door was suddenly kicked open and Zim stomped in, dragging GIR by the collar. Dropping GIR to the floor, he slammed the door shut again, before tossing his disguise aside and muttering in incoherent rage. Nyx and Skoodge, who had jumped off the couch in surprise at the door's opening, stared at him in confusion, before finally daring to react. 

"Uh, Zim?" Skoodge asked carefully, "Is everything okay?" 

"Someone put out a bounty on Dib!" Zim snapped. 

"What?" Skoodge blinked in surprise, while Nyx arched an antenna. 

"Why are you mad? I thought this'd make you happy," she said. 

"Wh- you knew about this?!" Zim sputtered. 

"Sure I did," she responded, "I'm the one who put out the bounty." 

"…What?" Zim asked flatly, eyes narrowing and antennae flattening against his skull. Skoodge, recognizing the barely concealed anger in that tone, winced and slowly backed away. Meanwhile Nyx, oblivious to this, kept talking. 

"Yeah, I realized you'd have an easier time of conquering Earth without him around," she explained, "Plus, I wanted payback for what he did to Ying. So I made a call to a friend and-GAK!" 

Nyx was cut off as Zim suddenly grabbed her by the throat and slammed her against the nearest wall, hard enough that it cracked from the impact. 

"Who said that you could try to kill Zim's nemesis?" he hissed, face contorted in rage. 

"I was… trying… to help," Nyx gasped out. 

"Dib is _mine_ to destroy!" Zim snarled, "He has stood in my way for so long, I will not allow anyone else the satisfaction of finally killing him, least of all some hack mercenary!" 

To punctuate his point, Zim then turned and threw Nyx across the room, where she slammed into and knocked over a chair. As she landed in a heap atop it on the floor, Zim walked over to lean over her menacingly, glaring intensely. 

"Call off the hit," he ordered, "And just so I'm clear — if you ever do something like this again, I don't care how useful you are, I will _end_ you. Do you understand me?" 

"Yes sir," Nyx croaked, rubbing at her sore throat. 

Grunting in response, the still angry Zim then stomped off towards the trashcan elevator. For a few minutes the room was quiet, except for the TV that GIR was now the only one watching, and Nyx's coughing as she stood up and kept rubbing her throat. Skoodge and Minimoose stood off to the side, neither quite sure what to do in response to what had just happened, and then they both started in surprise as the back door opened and Ying reentered the house, carrying a large snack bag. He walked into the living room and paused mid-step. 

"…Is everything alright, Madame?" he asked, eyes narrowing dangerously as he took in the cracked wall, smashed chair, and bruises on Nyx's throat. 

"Yeah, it's fine. I just have to go make a call," Nyx said quickly, before all but bolting out of the house and towards her ship. Ying watched her go, and paused only long enough to glare at the room in general before following after her. 

"Squeak!" Minimoose commented after they left. 

"Yeah, that did _not_ go well. This is going to make things awkward for a while," Skoodge sighed, before turning towards fixing the damage from Zim's outburst. 

_Havok's Ship, Shortly After_

Havok watched eagerly as his spy drones fed him live footage of Dib's group's fight against TRL and Gabbrot. It had since expanded out of the mall, by means of TRL getting blasted through a wall and out onto the street outside the building, Gabbrot soon retreating after him, with Dib, the twins, and Dwicky chasing after them. 

"Honestly surprised you had the nerve to pull a stunt like this, Dwicky," he muttered, sparing a look at the older human, before turning his attention back to Dib, just in time to watch him catch a plasma blast on his gauntlets and then punch Gabbrot hard enough to send him flying into a lamppost and dent it, "And you, smeet, are proving to be just as exciting as I had hoped. Yes, I think this is going to be just the fight I was looking for, and-" 

_BEEP! BEEP!_

Havok was pulled from his musings as an alert sounded on his console. Hitting a button to bring it up, his organic eye widened in disbelief as Dib's bounty poster came up, with a red icon now flashing on it, marking it as cancelled. 

"What the _flirk_ is this?!" he shouted. Ignoring the video feeds, and the sight of Steve using plasma shots to herd TRL towards a fire tornado Viera had conjured, Havok activated his communications equipment. Within moments, a screen popped up, displaying Grissom's face. 

"Ah, Havok, I had a feeling I'd be hearing from you," the crime boss greeted, "Well, not _you_ specifically, but someone, and you seemed like one of the most likely." 

"Can it," Havok snapped, "What's the deal with cancelling a contract while the target's still alive?" 

"Client called off the contract," Grissom replied with a shrug, "I'm as surprised as you are, but hey, sometimes things happen. Sorry for the lost payday." 

Havok growled in annoyance, gaze flickering back to the other screens, watching as Dib threw himself in-between his friends and the bounty hunters (who clearly hadn't received the message yet), absorbing the plasma from their attacks and then throwing it back in a wave. Gritting his teeth, he watched the fight for several more moments, before slamming a fist on one of his chair's arms. 

"Screw the money!" he said, "For a decent fight like this, I'll do it for free!" 

"Yeah, I had a feeling that was coming too," Grissom sighed, "Look, you want to waste your time like that, go ahead. But I've worked with the Guild long enough to know that pursuing a cancelled contract for your own amusement isn't going to look good for your reputation. In fact-" 

Rolling his organic eye, Havok hit a button on his console, cutting the transmission. 

"Boring conversation anyway," he said, before taking the controls and setting course for the planet's surface. 

_Downtown Doomsville, Same Time_

The street surrounding the mall was wrecked, everything from the buildings and the parked cars to the street itself cratered and smoking. In a particularly large crater in the sidewalk, the burned scraps of TRL surrounded a scorch mark roughly shaped like Gabbrot's body. 

"Well, I definitely didn't realize that robots were that combustible," Dwicky commented, surveying the scene with Team Save Earth from down the street. 

"I think anything is if it's hit with that much concentrated energy," Dib commented, glancing around the empty street, "And _again_ , there's no one around. Why does this keep happening?" 

"On the bright side, that means there's no one around to blame us for the mess," Steve commented with a shrug. Any responses that anyone had to that were preempted by a beeping sound from Dwicky's wrist console. Checking it, he arched an eyebrow in surprise. 

"Huh, that's weird," he said, "The contract on Dib's been cancelled." 

"Wait, really?" Viera asked, she and the boys blinking in confusion, "That makes no sense — why would someone do this and then just undo it?" 

"I don't know, and right now I don't care," Dib said, "I'm calling it a day. Tomorrow, we can-AH!" 

With yelps of panicked surprise, Dib and the others jumped aside to avoid a sudden plasma blast that came out of nowhere. Scrambling back to their feet, they looked up to see a moderately-sized ship hovering over them, weapons still smoking. The cockpit popped open, and Havok leaned out to smirk down at them. 

"Hello there. Lovely day, isn't it?" he said, giving a mock-friendly wave. 

"What the hell, Havok?" Dwicky demanded, "Didn't you hear? The contract's been called off!" 

"I know. I just don't care," the Irken cyborg responded, turning his gaze on Dib, "It's been too long since I had a decent fight, and this smeet's shown he can provide me one. So forget the bounty, I just want to face him." 

"…That is both flattering and terrifying," Dib said after a moment, he and the twins staring at Havok in disbelief. 

"It's also not gonna happen!" Dwicky said, aiming his blaster at Havok, "Back off now, or else!" 

"Ooh, I'm shaking!" Havok said sarcastically, before leaping out of his ship, PAK legs deploying midair and catching him as he hit the ground. Smirking, he then threw his arms out to his sides, and with a sound like a switchblade being flicked open, broadsword blades shot out of his wrists, edges brimming with plasma. Snarling in anticipatory glee, he withdrew the PAK legs and then charged forward towards the group. 

Dwicky fired off a few shots, but the cyborg deflected each of them with his blades as he continued to advance. Within moments he'd closed the distance, and with a swing of one blade, cut Dwicky's blaster in half; the same movement allowed him to spin-kick Dwicky in the chest, the powerful blow sending him flying through the air to slam into a dumpster. As Dwicky slumped into an unconscious heap on the sidewalk, Havok turned his attention towards the younger humans, ducking just in time to avoid a fireball to the face, then coming back up in time to deflect some plasma bolts with one blade and catching Dib's gauntleted fist with his other hand. Smirk widening, Havok then swung Dib through the air, sending him flying into the twins, knocking them all to the ground. 

"I hate to compliment the bad guy, but he's got moves," Steve groaned, as the three of them scrambled back to their feet. 

"Thank you," Havok said, before charging forward and bringing his blades down in overhead slashes that just barely missed the dodging humans and sliced deep into the concrete. Ripping them out, he spun around, driving the humans back before they could counterattack. He then charged the twins, only to suddenly jump back as they attempted to defend themselves; while they floundered in surprise at the feint, Havok's PAK legs shot out before he could hit the ground and propelled him further into the air. Reaching his apex, he turned and dropped towards Dib, blades first. Having been running forward to attack Havok from behind as he had charged the twins, Dib stumbled at the Irken's actions. 

Time seemed to slow as Havok fell towards Dib, who tried to turn and bring his gauntlets up into a proper defensive position. But it seemed it wouldn't happen in time, and Havok's blades were soon inches from Dib's head- 

_ZAP!_

-When a plasma blast shot in from nowhere and hit Havok dead center, sending him flying through the air to smash through the side of a building. Team Save Earth stared in utter confusion at this, before turning to see where the attack had come from. To their further surprise, they were greeted by the sight of Zim's Voot Cruiser hovering in the air over the street, the exiled Invader himself leaning out of the cockpit to glare at the cyborg he'd just blasted. 

"Really?" Dib asked flatly, arching an eyebrow. 

"No one kills you but me, Dib-Stink!" Zim shouted, before turning his attention to Havok as the latter pulled himself out of the hole he'd smashed through the side of the building, "So leave now, cybernetic meat-sack, or face the wrath of Zim! And why are you even still here? Nyx called off her stupid bounty!" 

"Wait, Nyx was responsible for all this?" Viera asked, blinking, "Huh… actually, that makes a lot of sense." 

"Come to think of it, why didn't we consider any of the Irkens other than Zim or Tak?" Steve thought out loud. 

"Silence, Not-Dibs! Zim is trying to be threatening!" Zim snapped, not taking his gaze off of Havok, who was giving him an unimpressed look. 

"So, you're the infamous Zim, huh?" the cyborg asked, "Honestly thought you'd be shorter, from all I heard. Anyway, like I already told the humans, I don't care about the monies anymore — I just want a good fight, and they're giving me one." 

"Well then go join a fight club or something, but leave _my_ nemesis out of it!" Zim snarled. 

"Nope," Havok replied flatly, "But tell you what. You get out of the way, and once I'm done with the human, I won't kill you too and drag your corpse back to the Tallest for a reward. 

Hissing wordlessly in rage, Zim responded to that threat by opening fire again. However, Havok dodged and, redeploying his PAK legs, quickly scuttled up the side of a building before jumping through the air to land back in the cockpit of his waiting ship. Withdrawing the PAK legs and his blades, he took the controls and was soon zooming across the sky, engaging Zim in a dogfight. 

"So, should we just let them kill each other?" Steve asked, the group watching as the Irkens flew back and forth around the surrounding buildings, blasting at each other, "Cause that would kinda solve a lot of problems." 

"That is so incredibly tempting, but no," Dib said, "This Havok guy is a way more serious threat than Zim is. We need to make sure he doesn't win this." 

"How?" Viera asked, "Our ship is back at your place, and even if we could get to it fast enough… I mean, it still doesn't work." 

"Right, so we improvise," Dib said, taking a quick look around their surroundings, before saying, "Okay, follow me. I'll explain on the way." 

As the three young humans ran off to prepare, the dogfight raged on. Zim's Voot Cruiser and Havok's somewhat larger ship zipped around buildings, each trying to get in position to fire on the other without exposing themselves. This briefly worked for both, each of them getting a few shots at the other, but it was clear that this wasn't going to work for either of them in the long run. 

Then Havok broke the stalemate, flying out into the open over a street and flying right down it. 

"Ha! Fool!" Zim crowed, following Havok and firing repeatedly. His focus now solely on bringing the bounty hunter down, Zim didn't pay any attention to where Havok was going; as he suddenly swerved and flew up the side of a building, Zim's only concern was keeping him in his sights and how close his shields were to collapse. 

Then Havok's ship reached the roof, and the cockpit swung open, allowing Havok to lean out, arm blade extended. Before Zim could even register this, the blade had been swung right through the base of the rooftop water tower, which almost immediately collapsed. 

Zim screamed, but was unable to react in time before the falling mass of wood, metal, and water hit the Voot like an avalanche, slamming it down into the ground below. Observing from above, Havok smirked as he watched the dust settle. 

"Heh, just as narrow-minded and foolish as everyone says," he chuckled, "Enjoy digging yourself out. Now then, where did that human-GAH!" 

The ship rocked as a wave of plasma slammed into it. Righting himself, Havok scanned his surroundings, and soon found the source of the attack — Dib, standing on the roof of another building down the street, next to the fire escape he'd clearly just run up, if his apparent lack of breath was anything to go by. 

"You've got guts, human, I'll give you that," Havok mused, sounding impressed, before turning and flying towards Dib's building. Within moments, he was only yards away… at which point Viera, standing on the street below, held up her amulet and unleashed a literal tornado of flame, which engulfed the ship. 

Shrieking in panic, Havok lost control of the ship, which began spinning in circles in the air. Meanwhile, standing on the fire escape of another building, Steve took careful aim with his blasters, and fired, the shots hitting the ship's engines. Their fuel cells ruptured, and the alien chemicals within were ignited by the flames still coating the ship, the back half of which exploded with a deafening _BOOM_. Now reduced to a burning hulk, the ship careened through the air towards the rooftop where Dib was still standing; he jumped aside just in time, barely avoiding being crushed as it hit the roof and skidded across, coming to a halt just in time to be left teetering on the opposite side of the building. 

For a few moments, everything was silent, except for the sounds of the flames. Dib got to his feet and cautiously approached the wreck, ready for anything. As such, he was only partially surprised when the side of the ruined ship was suddenly slashed open and Havok burst out of the hole. The cyborg was scorched and bloody, patches of his clothing still smoldering, but despite this he was sporting a wide grin, the same manic glee reflected in his widened organic eye. 

"Yes, yes! This is what I wanted!" Havok laughed madly, "It's been too long since I had an opponent worthy of my skill! A fellow fighter who understands the glory of combat! A-" 

"Dude, shut the hell up already," Dib said, charging forward and swinging a plasma-charged punch at Havok, who ducked and rolled out of the way, "At least when Zim rants, it's mildly entertaining. You just sound like some action movie villain cliche!" 

Insult not even registering with him, Havok jumped back to his feet and swung his blades at Dib, who dodged them and then punched Havok in the face. The Irken flew back a few feet, before his PAK legs popped out and caught him, then sprung him forward at Dib again. Dib ducked under the blade swung towards his face and caught one of the PAK legs as it shot towards his chest. Gripping it tight, Dib channelled a burst of plasma through it, causing it to snap off of the PAK, which started to spark. 

As Havok snarled incoherently in pain, energy surging through his PAK and other cybernetics, Dib clenched his fists and started gathering plasma in his gauntlets until they were crackling like Tesla coils. The moment they couldn't hold anymore, he started running straight towards Havok, who saw him coming and turned to face him. Growling in total bloodthirsty madness, he charged to meet Dib, blades charged and ready to strike. 

Just before the two reached each other, Dib thrust his fists forward, unleashing all the plasma at once. The attack being virtually point-blank, Havok was unable to do anything but try and shield himself with his blades. This proved inefficient, however, and sent him flying through the air to slam into his wrecked ship, entering through the exit he'd carved and hitting the opposite wall. Disoriented from the impact, Havok didn't notice as it caused the ship to start tilting over the edge of the roof. By the time he did, his eye widening in shock, he could do nothing but scream in defiance and disbelief as the ship plummeted towards the street below. 

Dib ran over to the edge of the roof, looking down just in time to watch the ship hit the pavement and explode, anything combustible that hadn't ignited in the first explosion doing so now. When the smoke cleared, it was revealed that — either in the impact or the explosion — a hole had been blown clear through the street and into the sewer below. 

"Wow, that was a lot more intense than I thought it was gonna be," Dib said, practically collapsing as the adrenaline rush started to wear off. Meanwhile, down on the street the twins, who had been running towards Dib's building since Havok's ship had first hit the roof, skidded to a halt and stared at the hole in surprise. At the same time, Dwicky ran up the street, clutching his sore head, only to skid to a halt and blink in confusion at the hole. 

"…What'd I miss?" he asked. 

XXXXXXX

It had taken some time, but Dwicky and Team Save Earth had managed to scour the sewer, finding nothing but debris from Havok's ship so thoroughly charred it was just useless scrap; of the bounty hunter himself, there was no sign, leading the humans to the conclusion that he had been vaporized. Similarly, by the time it had occurred to anyone to check on Zim, he and his ship had disappeared from where he'd crashed, probably having recovered and escaped at some point during the battle. 

As such, with all the day's excitement finally at an end and no reason to stick around, they had all returned to Dib's house, where Dwicky was preparing to board his ship and leave Earth again. 

"Well, I won't say this has been fun, but it has been good to see you, Dib," Dwicky said, "I really am glad to see you've done so well for yourself since last time." 

"Yeah, well, it took a while to get here, but it was definitely worth it," Dib replied, sharing a smile with his friends, "And I guess, for what it's worth, I forgive you for being such a jerk last time. Mostly." 

"I'll take it!" Dwicky said, waving cheerfully, "Well, see you again someday, maybe!" 

With that, he got in the ship, which was soon zipping off into the air, quickly disappearing from view. The trio watched it fly away, until Steve blinked and turned to Dib. 

"Uh, it just occurs to me, but couldn't we have asked him to provide us with some technology, or pictures, or anything else that could help prove the existence of aliens?" he asked. 

"…" Dib stared silently and blankly into the distance, before burying his face in his hands and groaning, the twins patting him awkwardly on the back in comfort at the missed opportunity. 

_Zim's Base, Same Time_

In one of the lower levels of the base, Zim stood in a secure lab, Skoodge and a slightly nervous Nyx standing a respectful distance behind him. He barely registered their presence, instead focusing on what was before him — a containment tube, within which floated what was left of Havok. 

Zim had gotten the Voot out from under the collapsed water tower just in time to watch Havok's fiery crash. Having been about to accept that as the end and leave, he had instead been struck by a sudden thought, and quickly entered the sewers, where he'd retrieved the near-dead cyborg from the blast zone and spirited him away before Dib and the others could arrive on the scene. Now, the bounty hunter floated unconscious in the tube, his cybernetics wrecked and the rest of him heavily scarred. 

"So, why did you do this?" Skoodge asked, finally breaking the silence, "I mean, saving people isn't really your thing." 

"Of course Zim is not so foolishly soft! But this cyborg is a competent fighter; he might be useful in the future. And it'd be nice to get _something_ out of this mess," Zim explained, turning to glare over his shoulder at Nyx, who flinched slightly but didn't respond, realizing that it'd probably be best to let Zim simmer until he got over all of this, rather than try and defend her actions again. 

"Master, given the subject's condition, I doubt he'll even regain consciousness in the foreseeable future, let alone be able to exit the containment tube," the Computer chimed in, "The damage to both his core organic material and his cybernetic enhancements are extensive. Without us supplementing his PAK's life support systems, he'd be dead already." 

"Meh, whatever," Zim shrugged, "Keep him alive for now, and we'll deal with the rest when it becomes relevant." 

With that, he turned on his heel and marched out of the room, the others following after him. As the door closed behind them, the room's lights switched off, the only illumination left being that from Havok's artificial eye as it glowed dimly. For just a second, it brightened in intensity before dimming again, in response to a momentary spark in brain activity. 

The Computer was right; Havok wasn't going to wake up anytime soon. But he would eventually, and then there'd be Hell to pay… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry for how exposition-heavy this chapter was, but one of my goals for this season is world building the TNAIZ universe, and those two things tend to go hand-in-hand. Anyway, hope everyone liked the chapter regardless; the basic idea of Dib having an intergalactic bounty put on his head comes from an old plot bunny that I never got off the ground, so I decided to incorporate here.
> 
> Also hoping everyone liked me using Dwicky. The idea of him becoming a bounty hunter comes from the awesome fic Becoming A True Invader, which I highly recommend.
> 
> As for Zim and Nyx, I based their relationship on the Joker and Harley Quinn. So, it won't exactly be healthy.
> 
> Now, about Havok. Fun fact — back when I was first envisioning Season 2 (which was early in Season 1, actually), he wasn't going to be left in a coma, but instead immediately go into service as Zim's new muscle. However, that idea came about due to my early plans about Skoodge defecting to Tak and Tenn during the hunt for Project Domination leaving Zim's faction undermanned. Since Skoodge's character development changed those plans, and nightmaster000 later offered me the use of Nyx and Ying, I decided to take Havok in a different direction. Oh, he'll be back later this season, but in a very different role… and that's all I'm willing to spoil, so just stay tuned.
> 
> Please comment!


	4. Career Day 2 - The Interning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Career Day once again. And if you thought things were crazy in canon, wait until you see what happens here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, let me just say Happy New Year to everyone. Have a safe and fun end to the year.
> 
> Anyway, this is one I've been looking forward to for quite some time. It should be a fun little romp of pure IZ humor, rather than the mixed action/humor of the last few chapters. I really hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> Read on!

It was yet another mind-numbing day at Doomsville Middle Skool. Or at least, it was supposed to be, but the students quickly realized that today was a special day.

In Miss Bitters' class, the words "Career Day" had been scrawled on the chalkboard, and the students were cheerfully animated at the sight of it. Well, most of them, anyway — Dib and Zim both cringed at the reminder of what had happened on the previous Career Day, the twins and Skoodge had both been informed of said events and were varying levels of apprehensive over it, and Tak was simply apathetic to the whole situation. Nonetheless, they all paid attention as Miss Bitters stood up in front of the class.

"Students, despite the fact that you're all doomed to be utter failures in life no matter what you do, the Skool Board is still wasting valuable time and money on giving you all a taste of what employment would hypothetically be like for you," the crone droned, "Therefore, you will all be assessed and assigned to intern at job sites matching the skill sets you're most qualified for. And despite the fact that most of you were assessed last time, the Board has mildly updated the assessment protocols since then, so you will all be assessed again."

As if on cue, the classroom door was smashed open, and in floated a blocky, cubical robotic drone with a screen displaying a digital display of a basic face design taking up most of its center mass, and small jets on its bottom keeping it in the air.

" _Hello, children,_ " the drone greeted in a screechy electronic voice, " _I am the Job Evaluator 9000, and I am here to assess you all for your potential future careers, and assign you to the sites you will be interning at for the day. I will now perform a retinal scan on each of you, in order to determine what job you are most qualified for._ "

"Wait, what?" Dib asked, arching an eyebrow, "That makes no sense. I mean, I can _almost_ understand how that ink blotch test from last time might help determine what a person's fit for psychologically, but what does a retinal scan have to do with that?"

"Silence, the machine has spoken!" Miss Bitters snarled, "Just for that, you go first."

At that apparent command, the Evaluator floated over to Dib and extended a robotic arm from its body that was topped with a penlight-like device, from which it briefly beamed a laser into Dib's eyes. As he blinked the spots from his vision, a spinning pinwheel icon appeared on the Evaluator's screen for a moment, before returning to the face with a pinging sound like a microwave timer going off.

" _Student: Dib. You have been assessed as a Fringe Science Researcher. Please report to the following address,_ " the Evaluator said, extending another robot arm, which ended in a claw holding a small business card. Dib blinked in surprise, before taking it and looking over the address printed on it.

"Well, that's different from last time," he muttered, "I guess that's an upgrade, maybe?"

As Dib studied the card, the Evaluator began moving around the room, scanning students in an apparently random manner. After a few minutes of zigzagging around the room, it came to where the twins were seated next to each other, and scanned Viera first.

" _Student: Viera. You have been assessed as a Film Set Assistant,_ " the drone said, presenting her with an address card.

"Huh, that's pretty cool, I guess," Viera said, as Steve was scanned next.

" _Student: Steve. You have been assessed as an Office Gofer._ "

"A what now?" Steve asked, blinking in confusion as he was handed his card.

"I think that's the guy in a corporate office who gets everyone else their coffee and mail," Viera explained.

"Seriously? How do you get to go work on a movie set and I have to be a corporate lackey?" Steve asked, frowning.

"Luck, I guess," Viera said with a shrug. Meanwhile, the Evaluator moved on, and eventually made its way to Zim, who puffed up as it scanned him.

"Yes, go ahead and scan me, Employment Drone," he said, "Zim has grown and evolved much since last time this pitiful exercise was carried out. I know that this time my greatness shall be recognized, and you shall assign me to a position befitting my place as Supreme Ruler of-"

" _Student: Zim. You have been assigned as a Fast Food Restaurant Manager._ "

"Eh?" Zim asked, blinking in utter disbelief as the Evaluator handed him a card. Then his face morphed into a scowl as he heard Tak break out laughing.

"Ha! Sounds like that thing scanned you perfectly," she sneered, "Nice little reminder of your proper place, isn't it?"

Growling, Zim grabbed the Evaluator and threw it in Tak's direction. She easily dodged it as it flew by her, before it stopped and righted itself in the air, then floated in front of Tak properly. Zim grinned, fully expecting it to assign her to janitorial duties, that he would then mock her about. To his surprise, however, as the retinal scan commenced, he saw a spark fly across Tak's eyes as her mind control implant activated. In response, the Evaluator let out a static screech that had everyone clutching their ears.

" _S-student: Tak. You-you-you have been assessed as a D-Deelishus Weenie Corporate M-Manager,_ " the Evaluator slurred, drunkenly handing Tak a card before floating off.

"Wait a minute, she can't just be assigned to someplace she already owns!" Dib protested.

"The Dib-Monkey is right for once in his worthless existence!" Zim agreed, "Besides, Tak clearly just hacked the system to give herself that job."

"Be quiet! All evaluations are final!" Miss Bitters snapped in response. Meanwhile, the Evaluator jerkingly moved across the room to hover in front of Skoodge, who yelped in pain and fell out of his chair as a more powerful than normal scan beam hit him in the eye.

" _Student: Skoodge. You have been assessed as a Janitor,_ " the Evaluator said, voice restoring to its normal candor. It then scanned the remaining students, before exiting back through the door.

"You have all received your assignments. Report to them for the remainder of the day, and return here afterwards to report in. Now get out of my sight!" Miss Bitters ordered. The children all obeyed, and filled out into the hallway, which was filling up with students from other classrooms who had likewise been given their assignments for the day. In particular, there was Mr. Elliot's class, including Tenn, who moved over to walk next to Tak.

"So, what assignment have you been given for this waste of a day?" Tak asked.

"Security guard at the Mall," Tenn replied, mouth twisting in mild disgust, "One of the most highly qualified Invaders in Irken history, and I'm being told to go be a rent-a-cop?"

"Pity it didn't occur to you to hack the system, like I did," Tak said with a smirk. Ignoring Tenn's glare, she instead turned her attention towards her enemies. Team Save Earth were already leaving the building, presumably heading towards their respective assignments; by contrast, Zim and Skoodge had hung back, Nyx soon joining them and seemingly ranting about something.

"What's her problem?" Tak asked. Following her partner's gaze, Tenn smirked and gave a short laugh before responding.

"The Defective refused to partake in the assigning process," she explained, "Something about not allowing her fate to be decided by 'the Man', whatever that means. In any case, she smashed the Evaluator before it could scan her, so she was given a random, low-wage type job assignment."

"Heh, serves her right for joining up with that idiot traitor. Well, in any case, let's get this over with. I'll see you afterwards," Tak said, she and Tenn walking towards the doors, leaving Zim's group behind.

"…A _flirking_ paint factory!" Nyx was yelling, arms waving about dramatically, "What am I supposed to learn in a dump like that, anyway?"

"How to make and sell paint?" Skoodge suggested.

"Don't point out the obvious while I'm complaining about something!" Nyx said, glaring at him, "I mean, at least Gaz got assigned to Game Slave Inc.'s headquarters. _That's_ interesting. If I'm being forced to go along with this corporate enslavement, why couldn't I get something like that? Or a dynamite factory or something?"

"Well, then you shouldn't have smashed the Evaluator before it could even try to scan you," Skoodge pointed out. Nyx's glare intensified, but before she could say anything, Zim suddenly cut it.

"Enough! Zim is not happy about his assignment either, but do you hear me complaining about it?"

"Well, you were being pretty loud about it until Nyx showed up," Skoodge put in, only for Zim to smack him upside the head.

"Silence!" Zim snapped, before composing himself, "Let us just get this pointless endeavor of a day out of the way. And who knows, maybe I can make an opportunity out of this. Hmm, yes, maybe I can take over these corporate Food Drones from within and use them to enslave the other humans. Hmm…"

Lost in that train of thought, Zim wandered off towards the exit. Nyx and Skoodge watched him go for a few moments, before Nyx huffed and walked off as well. Skoodge, meanwhile, pulled out his assignment card to actually look at it for the first time, and blinked as he read the address written on it.

"Wait, this says I'm supposed to be assigned here at the skool?" he asked. Then a chill ran down his spine as a shadow fell over him; looking up to its source, he was greeted by Nny's grinning face.

"Saddle up, chubby, we're in for a long day," the homicidal janitor said, Skoodge paling in horror in response.

_Doomsville Advanced Scientific Research Center, A Short Time Later_

Dib stood on a sidewalk in midtown Doomsville, just across from the City Park, looking carefully at the building he was standing in front of. It was rather standard-looking for the area, being about twenty stories tall, its brick and concrete facade given a very basic and bland paint job. Dib glanced at the address printed on the card in his hand, checked the one displayed over the building's front doors to confirm they matched, and then walked inside.

Entering a rather typical lobby, with a few large potted plants along the walls and a brightly-colored carpet running most of its center length, Dib followed that carpet up to a desk behind which sat an extremely bored-looking overweight security guard.

"Can I help you?" the guard droned.

"Uh, yeah, I've been assigned here for a Skool Career Day," Dib said, holding up the card for the guard to see. The guard glanced at it, checked something on his computer, and nodded lazily.

"Okay, I see it here. They're expecting you up on the top floor," the guard said, pointing towards a nearby elevator. Nodding his thanks, Dib walked over to the elevator and, after a moment's wait for it to respond to the call button, got in and pressed the top floor button.

For the next several minutes, the elevator slowly ascended, Dib rocking on his heels in boredom. Just as he was idly starting to wonder why all elevator music sounded the same, the elevator came to a stop, the doors sliding open — and then out of nowhere, a net shot into the elevator, ensnaring Dib before he could even realize what was happening.

"What the he-AH!" Dib's confused exclamation turned into a shout of panic as a cord attached to the net suddenly went taut and retracted, pulling him off his feet and dragging him away at a rapid pace. He got brief flashes of a hallway and people, but was moving too fast to really register anything, and then he was pulled into a room.

Disoriented from the sudden sequence of events and vision spinning, Dib was unable to react as someone grabbed him out of the net and dropped him into a chair, with what he belatedly recognized as rope being wrapped around him, securing him in place. Shortly after this finished, Dib's vision finally cleared enough to see where he was. He was in a moderately-sized room that was apparently used as an office, judging by the rows of filing cabinets lining the walls and the large desk he was seated in front of. More importantly was the individual sitting behind that desk, and as Dib registered that person, he suddenly found himself wishing his hands were free so that he could facepalm.

"Seriously? How did I get assigned to you _again?!_ " he exclaimed.

"An excellent question," Bill said, leaning forward to brace his elbows against the surface of his desk and rest his chin against his clasped-together hands, "We do keep seeming to cross paths, don't we. Coincidence? I think not. So tell me who you're working for!"

"Who I'm… what?" Dib asked, blinking in confusion, "You think I'm spying on you or something?"

"Well, let's review the facts," Bill responded, ticking points off on his fingers, "First, you're assigned to shadow me on that last Career Day, and not only do you distract me from my investigation of whatever message the aliens were having that cow leave behind via those crop circles, but you allow that monster Cocofang to escape once I'd finally cornered him. Now, I could have written that off as you just being inexperienced with proper paranormal investigation techniques. But then after I manage to catch that alien bug creature, you and your girlfriend and that other accomplice of yours show up with a bunch of other aliens and destroy my entire base of operations. And now, once I've finally got my organization back on its feet, here you come again, apparently just 'randomly' selected to shadow me for Career Day again? I don't think so. You've clearly been sent to sabotage me, and I want to know precisely which of the 112 conspiracies I've confirmed the existence of it was!"

"…Okay, let me spell out all the things wrong with what you just said. First of all, last Career Day? That was just some random cow and a guy in a costume, and I had nothing to do with him getting away from you. Secondly, my team showing up at your base at the same time as Zim's group was a coincidence; we're archenemies, not allies. Thirdly, the way I remember it, _you're_ the one who blew up your base. And fourthly, Viera is _not_ my girlfriend!" Dib responded, voice flat and even until that last remark shifted to a more defensive tone, accompanied by flushed cheeks.

"A likely story," Bill scoffed, "But if you won't confess, and since even I'm not willing to torture a child to get information, I suppose I'll just have to deduce your true loyalties the old fashioned way."

With that dramatic declaration, Bill swept to his feet and moved to the wall behind him, which Dib belatedly noticed was marked with the logo for Bill's CREAM organization. He hit a small button on the side of the wall, causing it to flip open and revealing a conspiracy board. One that Dib, who had vast experience with such things, had to say was a total mess — there were dozens of photographs and news-clippings scattered around the board in no discernible pattern, all connected to each other by a dizzying web of strings in almost every color imaginable. Dib honestly had no idea what he was supposed to be looking at.

"Now then, let's sort through this vast haystack of lies to find that elusive needle that is the truth," Bill proclaimed.

" _This is gonna suck,_ " Dib mentally sighed, as Bill launched into a rambling lecture.

_GenericCo. Doomsville Branch Office, Same Time_

"…And over here's the water cooler, and over there in that corner is the other water cooler, and this here is the mail room, which has its own water cooler," the man showing Steve around the office space he'd been assigned to exposited in a bland tone.

"Why does this place need so many water coolers?" Steve asked, arching an eyebrow, as they passed by rows of cubicles occupied by men and women all hunched over computers.

"We're legally required to guarantee all employees stay hydrated even when working around the clock, so they don't end up like Old Smith here," the man replied, casually gesturing towards a particular cubicle, where a skeleton in rotted clothes sat slumped over in its chair, cobwebs coating everything. Steve stared in wide-eyed disbelief at this for several moments before he noticed his guide was still walking, and he moved to follow, deciding to ignore that unsettling sight for now.

"And here is one of the most important parts of the office — the break room!" the guide said, actual emotion entering his voice as he spread his arms to encompass the small room they had entered, which contained a kitchenette, a couple of vending machines, and a few small tables. Several employees sat around the room, a few eating at the tables, but most crowded around a coffee machine on the kitchen counter. As Steve watched, a woman who looked utterly rundown and sleep-deprived shuffled up to the machine, poured herself a cup, and took deep drink. And to Steve's shock, within seconds the woman was revitalized, practically glowing as she strut out of the room back towards her cubicle, whistling happily.

"Wow, that's powerful stuff," Steve commented, watching as this sequence of events repeated itself with several more of the employees.

"Yes, coffee is our most important asset here, the fuel that keeps our employees going through their grueling work," the guide said, "Of course, us management-level types can't be bothered to come down here and waste valuable time to get our own coffee, so that'll be your today. Got it?"

"Yeah, sure," Steve said with a sigh.

"Good. Then whip up six expressos and take them up to the main conference room. We've got a big meeting, and some of the people involved have been pulling all-nighters. Chop-chop," the guide said, before walking off. Steve watched him go, before giving another sigh and getting in line behind the employees.

He could already tell this was going to be a long day, and hoped that the others were having a better time than he was.

_Planetary Movies Studio Lot, Same Time_

Viera was honestly surprised that Doomsville had its own movie studio. Then again, considering that all the posters plastered on the walls of the buildings only seemed to feature B-grade (at best) movies that she'd mostly never heard of and which appeared to only star third-string actors, she had a feeling they weren't exactly a very famous or successful studio. She'd be surprised if any of these films made it into actual theaters, instead of straight to video or cable.

That said, it _was_ still an actual set of a real movie. This should be exciting, right?

"This is the main set we're working out of right now, so this is where you'll be helping out today," the middle-aged lady escorting Viera said. Viera nodded and made a noise of acknowledgement, while taking in the layout of the soundstage. It appeared they were filming some kind of fantasy film, judging by the grove of plastic trees surrounding the "stone" (actually styrofoam, from the looks of it) ruins of some kind of temple. Aside from that, there were just a bunch of green screens surrounding the set.

"Wouldn't it look better if it was actually filmed outside?" she asked her guide, who shrugged in response.

"Probably, but it's cheaper to rent studio space than it is to go through the whole process of securing an offsite filming location. And we can use the resulting extra money in the budget for better catering," the woman said, gesturing towards a long buffet table off to one side of the room.

"Isn't that kinda, you know, a total waste?" Viera asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Not when it's being used to appease your one star," the guide replied. Viera blinked in confusion at that, but before she could say anything else, a door at the other end of the soundstage was kicked open, revealing a late middle-aged woman in a bathrobe and too much makeup, with a very angry look on her face.

"Where is my mineral water?!" she screeched, "I asked for it three minutes ago, and still all I have in my dressing room is _regular_ water! And why hasn't anyone gotten me a gluten-free chicken salad yet?!"

The woman continued to rant in that vein for several more minutes, seemingly without breath, before stomping off back through the door, which Viera could now see was marked "Dressing Rooms". Though she didn't quite register that, as she was left a little stunned by the virtual verbal hurricane of snooty demands that the woman had just unleashed.

"And that's our star," the guide explained, "Claudia von Wunderbar. Forty years ago she was a pretty successful child star, but she never quite made the transition to adult fame, so she's only able to get by on cheap productions like ours. Not that you'd know it from her I'm-better-than-all-of-you attitude… ah, well. Good luck!"

"Wait, what? I have to work with _her?_ " Viera asked, incredulous, "I was told I was assigned here as an assistant!"

"You are. And you'll be assisting Claudia personally," the guide replied, smirking slightly, "What, did you think some random intern like you would get picked to work with the director or something?"

"Er…" Viera mumbled, blushing slightly; she _had_ been kind of hoping she'd get a better assignment out of such a rare opportunity.

"Well, you better get a move on and get Claudia that water and salad and anything else she wants," the guide said, "I suggest you be prepared for her to ask you for basically anything. Also, refer to her as 'Miss', not 'Ma'am'; it makes her feel old. Oh, and don't try to correct her when she gets your name wrong, it won't make a difference except angering her. And don't make eye contact, she'll take it as a challenge. Have fun!"

With that, the woman walk off with a wave and a smile, leaving Viera standing there, dumbfounded. Then she jumped as another screech emanated from the dressing rooms, and she reluctantly ran off towards the buffet table, already deciding that she was probably going to leave this part out when she swapped stories of the day's events with her brother and Dib.

_MacMeaties, Downtown Doomsville, Same Time_

Zim huffed in annoyance as he walked through the restaurant, following the manager who had greeted him when he'd arrived and presented his assignment card. The older man was saying something, but the ex-Invader was ignoring it all, too busy as he was trying to not become violently ill at his surroundings. Leaving aside all the flashbacks he was having to Foodcourtia, this place was _disgusting_ — everywhere he looked, there were humans shoving barely processed and cooked meat into their slobbering mouths, bits of food dripping off of them to scatter over already filthy floors.

And that was before they even got into the kitchen which was, if possible, even _more_ revolting. The fryers and grills were covered with dried grease and meat juice, stains of unidentifiable origins covered the floor, and of course there was the matter of the meat processors, where pimply-faced employees were shoveling in meat paste, napkins, some sort of pink sludge, and occasional pieces of actual meat that Zim was fairly certain wasn't beef or pork.

"Uggghhh," Zim groaned, feeling light-headed as he watched some of the "meat" produced by the processors was mashed into patties and passed along. The thought of someone actually eating that made him feel ill by proxy.

"Yeah, seeing such a well-oiled machine in action can be pretty overwhelming, huh?" the manager asked, oblivious to what Zim was really thinking, "But you won't be working out here today. You've been selected for something a lot more important than that."

"Yes, because Zim is superior to such Worker Drones!" Zim said, the offhanded compliment immediately firing up his ego enough to overcome his disgust at his surroundings, "Now take me to the managerial domain so that I may begin my iron-fisted reign over these fools!"

"Well, you've certainly got the right attitude. Let's get you settled," the manager commented, as they exited through the rear of the kitchen and walked down a short hallway towards a door. Which he flung open dramatically, revealing… a cramped space a few feet square, with a stool and a small desk visibly straining under the weight of several stacks of paper as tall as Zim crammed into it.

"…Er, this is the manager's office?" Zim asked, squinting an eye in confusion.

"No, of course not, that's over there," the manager said, gesturing further down the hall towards another door, open to reveal a much more spacious room, "Since you're just a one-day intern, there'd be no point letting you use my office, so we just repurposed this closet space for you. Anyway, you'd better get started on that paperwork."

" _Paperwork?!_ " Zim exclaimed, "Zim came here to rule over these worthless fast food peons and bend them to my will to aid in conquering this planet, not fill out forms!"

"Sorry, but this is part of being a manager, and that's what you're here to learn today," the manager said, apparently not registering the part about conquering Earth, "So unless you want to be failed for your assignment, and get a negative mark on your permanent employment record, you better get to work."

With that, the manager not-too-softly shoved Zim into the repurposed closet and closed the door behind him. Zim snarled incoherently in response, kicking the shoddy desk and half expecting it to collapse from the blow. When it didn't, his angry grumbles trailed off into mere frustration and annoyance.

"How dare they force Zim to do such a menial task?" he muttered, before shaking it off, "No matter. I shall quickly overcome this paper waste trap, thereby proving my superiority to the Managerial Meat Drones and be given access to more important aspects of their operation. And then, once I have gained all their secrets, I'll, uh… use the meat to enslave all the humans, I guess? Meh, I'll come up with something when I get to that part."

That plan firmly set in mind, Zim sat down at the desk, grabbed a pen, and started going through the paperwork.

_Smiling Funtime Paints Company Factory, Same Time_

Nyx lethargically followed after the guide who had greeted her at the factory's entrance, pouting and arms crossed. Whatever the man was saying about her assignment was probably important, but she couldn't be bothered to pay attention to it. She was still too annoyed at the entire situation to actually care about the details of it — she was supposed to be helping Zim stage a revolution, not sitting here learning how to do whatever pointless corporate slave work she'd been assigned to do.

Caught up in her angry musing as she was, Nyx found herself walking right into her guide's back as he came to a stop. Blinking, Nyx looked around, and saw that at some point they had entered a large white room, empty except for a chair next to what appeared to be a giant paintball gun mounted on some kind of mechanized platform.

"Well, here you go. Just get settled in, and it will automatically start up," the guide said, handing a confused Nyx a clipboard and a stopwatch.

"Um, okay?" Nyx said, trying not to let on that she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing. Instead she just watched the guide leave, before sitting down in the chair and waiting for something to happen.

" _User presence registered. Engaging sample 1,_ " a robotic voice intoned from the apparatus Nyx was sitting next to. Before she could process that, the gun hummed and fired, launching several large pellets at the opposite wall, splattering green paint over a roughly three-foot space.

" _Begin monitoring of time elapsing until sample has dried, now,_ " the robot voice ordered. And as what that meant registered with her, Nyx's jaw dropped.

"My assignment is to _watch paint dry?!_ " she exclaimed, "They actually have people who do this? Why not just have a computer do it? This is so stupid!"

Growling in disgust for a few moments, the Defective anarchist trailed off into wordless grumbling, slumping down into her chair. After a moment, she looked at the stopwatch, rolled her eyes, and clicked it on. She then set the watch and clipboard aside, and pulled an entertainment magazine out of her PAK.

"At least this is likely to go by quickly enough," she muttered as she flipped through articles on mindless celebrity gossip, "Still, wish I could have at least got something a little more exciting. Even that menial labor Skoodge was assigned is probably better than this. He's probably having at least _some_ fun."

_Doomsville Middle Skool, Same Time_

"…So the key to a proper disembowelment is to go in from beneath, removing the intestines first," Nny explained as he casually hacked away at the half-dead drug dealer strapped to the table in the middle of his spacious janitor's closet, "Once that's out of the way, you have more room to work with in regards to the other organs. You writing all this down?"

Skoodge, sitting on a stool in the corner, merely whimpered in response, somehow managing to both pale in shock and turn a darker shade of green in nausea at the same time.

"And here's a fun fact," Nny continued, grabbing a handful of entrails, "Get a good enough grip on them, and you can use them to pull the stomach right out-"

"BLEEEAAAGGGGHHHH!" Skoodge squealed, finally hitting his breaking point and vomiting, before passing out face first in the resulting puddle.

"Huh, I thought he'd last longer than that. Ah well, guess not everyone's got the constitution for this job," Nny commented to the drug dealer, who was going into shock. Shrugging, he went back to his macabre work, while making a mental note to have Skoodge clean up his mess once he regained consciousness.

_Game Slave Incorporated HQ, Same Time_

Standing in the lobby of the Game Slave building, Gaz took a moment to take a deep breath, basking in the moment. This was practically holy ground to her, right up there with Bloaty's, and she was going to enjoy every last second of it. The fact that it got her out of skool for the day was just a bonus, really.

Gaz was pulled from her thoughts at the sound of someone approaching. Looking up, she saw a short, overweight woman with gray hair and a facial expression just a few degrees warmer than Miss Bitters' default look was walking towards her. Assuming this was her guide, Gaz wordlessly held out her assignment card, which the woman glanced at briefly before nodding in acknowledgement.

"Well then, right this way," the woman said gruffly, "We're trying to run a business here. We don't have time to just stand around."

"Doesn't seem to be bothering that guy much," Gaz commented, gesturing towards a janitor standing off to one side of the lobby, leaning on a mop with a bored expression and staring into space.

"Richards!" the woman snapped, the janitor jumping in surprise at her outburst, "What have I told you about slacking? I know for a fact that you don't have a break for another three hours!"

"But Mrs. Albertson, ma'am, there's nothing for me to do," Richards protested.

"Isn't it your job to find stuff to do?" Gaz asked, Mrs. Albertson grunting and pointing at her.

"See? This kid's been here two minutes and she's already more on the ball than you are," she said, before shouting, "Security! Discipline!"

"Not again," Richards moaned, just before a pair of very muscular men in black uniforms suddenly appeared and hit him with shock batons. Watching the unfortunate janitor collapse in a twitching mass to the floor, Gaz snickered in mild amusement, arching an eyebrow at Mrs. Albertson.

"That standard?" she asked.

"We're a multibillion dollar global company," the older woman sniffed, "We don't have time for niceties. Everyone needs to pull their weight, or we take losses. An occasional beating reminds people of the cost of that. Besides, it's not like they can sue — this is all laid out in their contracts, so it's their own fault for not bothering to read the fine print before signing. Anyway, let's go."

Not even giving Gaz a chance to respond, Mrs. Albertson turned and walked towards a nearby elevator. Not taking offense at the woman's demeanor, since it was a definite improvement over people making pointless small talk, Gaz followed after her. For several minutes, they rode up the building in silence, before finally emerging on one of the top floors. Stepping out, Gaz was greeted by the view of an open loft-style office, people of various ages sitting at desks in front of computers, standing by walls covered in charts, or in some cases were even hooked up to what looked like advanced VR gear.

"Nice," Gaz commented, glancing at a few of the computers and seeing game graphics being mapped out.

"Yes it is," Mrs. Albertson said, nodding in approval, "Now then, as an executive-in-training, you will spend your day here learning the basic ropes of how to run such a high-end company. And most important of all is utter dedication to the work, with no room or time for things like rest or relaxation."

"Again, what you're saying is kinda being contradicted by what I see," Gaz pointed out, gesturing towards one corner of the room, where a few employees were in various stages of relaxation, their focus on magazines or phones while they chatted amiably or ate snacks. Seeing this, Mrs. Albertson scowled.

"Why aren't you all working?" she demanded loudly, the group all cringing as they realized that she was talking to them.

"Er, ma'am, we're all just taking one of our 15 minute breaks-" one of the group started to say, before he was interrupted.

"Didn't you idiots get the latest memo? Breaks can now be no longer than 7-and-a-half minutes! That's the bare minimum that our research says is needed to keep you all from dropping dead from exertion, so that's all you're allowed now, you slackers," Mrs. Albertson snapped, "Discipline!"

Gaz chuckled as a pair of security guards who looked indistinguishable from the previous pair suddenly appeared and started tasering the group. A thought suddenly occurring to her as she watched this, she looked around and soon spotted another employee, one who was slightly slumped over in her chair, looking dead tired. As she yawned, Gaz smirked and pointed at her.

"That one looks like she's about to take a nap on the job," she commented to Mrs. Albertson, who whirled around to look where she was pointing.

"No slacking! Discipline!" This time, Gaz outright laughed out loud as the security guards went to work.

Yes, she was _definitely_ going to enjoy her day here.

_City Center Mall, Same Time_

Tenn sat on a chair in the Mall's security office, head resting in her palm and staring into the middle distance, as she tried to tune out the mindless blather of Slab Rankle, who was standing in front of her and gesturing dramatically at the banks of monitors. The overly-obsessive security guard had greeted her upon her arrival at the Mall, dragged her into his office, and had been ranting ever since. At this point, she was fairly certain he didn't even remember she was here.

"…Carry on, brave Crafts Barrel, know that I am on watch to make sure that the few customers who still come to acquire your wares in person rather than online shall do so by properly buying them, rather than stealing them," he was saying, "Same to you, humble Denim Dump, proud Game Pit, and of course, noble Video Outhouse, still holding on for the sake of all the hipsters who still prefer watching movies on actual tapes instead of just streaming them."

"Is _every_ business in this mall failing because of the internet?" Tenn couldn't help but ask. In response, Rankle blinked and stared at her for a moment, before he apparently remembered who she was and decided to actually respond to her question.

"Well, I wouldn't say _failing_ per se," he said, "But yes, sadly, the age when mighty institutions like the Mall stood first and foremost in the world of retail have passed. But a juggernaut like this cannot simple cease to be. No, it will fight tooth and nail to survive until the last cent of revenue has been bled away. And as the ones who have been the solemn duty to defend this sacred place, we are honor bound to ensure that its rules are enforced until our last, grasping breaths!"

"You do know I'm only here for the day, right?" Tenn asked, arching a holographic eyebrow.

"Regardless! You're here now, and that's all that matters!" Rankle declared. He seemed about ready to say something else, but then something on his wrist monitor started beeping. Glancing at it with a gleam of excitement in his eye, he then turned to check something on one of the monitors, seeming to grow even more excited. Curious, Tenn tried to look at it too, only for Rankle to spin around, grab her by the arm, and start dragging her out of the room.

"I can walk on my own," Tenn snapped, yanking her arm free. Rankle didn't respond and kept walking; rolling her eyes in annoyance, Tenn didn't say anything but kept pace with him. Exiting the office, the pair walked down several hallways until, to Tenn's surprise, they reached a door marked "garage". Opening it and walking through into the parking structure beyond, Rankle quickly took cover behind a concrete pillar and gestured for Tenn to join him; now even more curious, she complied, and glanced around the pillar to see what he was looking at, and her eyes widened in surprise.

There were a group of people gathered on the floor near one of the cars on the other side of the garage level… though calling them "people" in the human sense might be pushing the definition a bit. They were scuttling around on all fours, their skin was sickly and pale, their teeth and fingernails looked more like fangs and claws, and their eyes were large and red.

"Rat people," Rankle explained, noticing the confused look on Tenn's face, "People who have gotten lost down in the depths of the garage and been mutated into horrible mutants, doomed to a pitiful existence here in the darkness."

"So, what? You're going to 'heroically' rescue them?" Tenn asked, bored already.

"Of course not!" Rankle snapped, "These freaks are a blemish on the perfection of my glorious Mall! Whenever they come this far up, I have to drive them back before anyone sees them and gets too disgusted to ever shop here again. Now, follow my lead."

With that, Rankle calmly stepped out from behind the pillar, standing proud and firm… and then he suddenly gave a berserk battle cry and charged towards the nearest rat person, who barely had time to look up before Rankle's fist slammed into his face, laying him out flat on the floor.

"Okay, now _this_ is definitely more interesting," Tenn said, smirking as she watched Rankle pull out a baton and a stun gun and begin whaling on any rat person unlucky enough to get within his range. Sadly, her entertainment only lasted a few minutes, before every rat person was either unconscious or fleeing deeper into the garage.

"Ah, the sweet smell of victory," Rankle said, breathing deeply and with his fists planted on his hips. Tenn was pretty sure what they were smelling was the smoke from any rat people whose hair had been set on fire by the stun gun, but she didn't feel like commenting on it.

"So, what are you going to do with these?" she asked instead, walking up to one of the downed rat people and nudging them in the side with her foot.

"Why the only humane thing, of course — sell them to a big corporation that's looking for slave labor that's cheaper in the long run than paying actual employees to do grunt work," Rankle said, as he began using zip-ties to secure the unconscious rat people, "It's a good little slush fund to help make up for all the budget cuts we've had lately."

"…Is that legal?" Tenn asked.

"In some states. Depends on how you define 'legal'," Rankle explained, narrowing his eyes at her slightly, "This going to be a problem for you?"

"No, I don't care about the so-called ethics, I just wanted to be sure I'm not going to jail for this," Tenn replied, as she started helping in the restraining.

"Good. Then you can keep an eye on this lot while I go get some containment cells and call the buyers for pickup," Rankle said, before running off. Tenn watched him go, and then, after taking a moment to kick a semi-conscious rat person in the head to make sure they were fully knocked out, she leaned against a car to wait for Rankle to come back.

This was turning out to be more fun than she had thought. She couldn't wait to see what happened next.

_Deelishus Weenie Building, Same Time_

Tak stood on a balcony over looking one of the outer sections of the Deelishus Weenie building, an area separate from her actual base, designed to help provide more of a basis for her cover story. That mostly just meant processing weenies and shipping them to the corporation's brand name food stands, like the one at the base of the tower, which was fine by her as it was an excuse to mostly mechanize the facility and therefore have as few humans this close to her base as possible.

Speaking of which, the few employees present were milling about on the floor below her, pressing buttons and pulling levers to make sure the otherwise automated machinery kept running. One of them, a particularly dumb-looking guy with a goatee, finally seemed to notice her and stopped to stare up at her.

"Uhh, are you supposed to be here?" he asked.

"I own… er, I mean, _my father_ owns the company," Tak replied, making a mental note to check up on the Weenie CEO's containment tube and make sure he was still alive, just in case she ever needed him, "So that means that I can be here whenever I want. Also, it's Career Day, and I've been assigned here for it. So in other words, shut up and get back to work!"

That seemed to mollify the worker, who shrugged and walked off towards another work station. Tak watched him go, before deciding him to be too unimportant to care about and letting her attention drift away. Briefly, she found herself wondering how everyone else was doing with their assignments, before deciding she didn't care. Let them deal with this pointless day or not, _she'd_ make the most of it. She'd head back into her base proper and use this free time to begin work on a new plan for conquering Earth. She and Tenn had a few vague plots in the works, so she could take a look at those and see if there was anything she could start on-

"Hey, uh, Boss Lady Ma'am Miss?" the same worker from before suddenly spoke up, having walked back over when she wasn't looking. Blinking in surprise as she was pulled out her thoughts, Tak glared down at the man.

"What?" she asked flatly.

"Uhm, so, we found something weird on one of the computers, and we're not sure what we're supposed to do with it," he said. Rolling her eyes in annoyance, Tak walked towards the nearby stairs and quickly reached the floor, keeping her glare on the worker as she approached him.

"So, what is it?" she asked dryly.

"This file popped up on one of the processing machines, and no one knows what it is," the worker explained, handing the tablet he was holding out for Tak to take. She did so, and as she looked at what it was displaying, her holographic eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Huh, I completely forgot about this thing," she muttered, looking at the genetic graph for the Ham Demon she'd unleashed during her initial plan on Earth, to further distract Zim from her activities after crippling his base. She hadn't even thought about it since, though, and even if she had, its file should have been stored on her base's computers, not here in the factory.

" _Ugh, MIMI must have been messing around with the computers during one of her 'random' phases and sent it down here by mistake,_ " she mentally grumbled.

"Is that like a promotional product or something?" the worker asked.

"Sure, let's go with that," Tak replied, handing the tablet back and turning to walk away, making a mental note to scrub that file from these computers later.

"Okay then. Fire it up!" the worker said, shouting the last part towards several other workers standing by a larger cylindrical device, causing Tak to stop in her tracks.

"Wait, what?" she asked. Turning to see what they were doing, her eyes widened as she saw the machine whirling to life, lighting up and exterior components moving rapidly.

"No! Stop, you idiots!" she screamed, running towards the surprised workers. However, before she could reach them, the machine came to a stop, only to suddenly explode, revealing the Ham Demon standing there. With a roar, the reborn beast threw itself at the nearest human and started mauling them. Tak, meanwhile, grabbed the worker she'd been talking to by the collar and dragged him down to her eye level.

"Why would you remake that thing?!" Tak screamed in his face, while the Ham Demon used one of his coworkers as a club against the others.

"Uh… because it's our job to make what shows up on the processor computers?" the worker replied hesitantly.

"Gah — you're fired!" Tak yelled, shoving him away while her mind-control implant flashed, "And go play in traffic!"

While the newly-unemployed worker ran off with a glazed look in his eyes, Tak turned back to the rampaging Ham Demon. Watching it finishing its assault on the humans, she considered her options — the idiotic humans having created the monster without mentally programming it first meant that it wouldn't be compelled to obey her. But, if she could just keep it calm, perhaps she could use her implant, get it under her control…

"RAAAGGGGHHH!" the Ham Demon screamed, as it charged towards her.

"Ah, _flirk_ it," Tak spat, jumping out of the way. Rolling as she landed a few feet away, she brought out her PAK legs and fired at the demon. The plasma blasts hit dead on, but aside from the smell of burnt meat seemed to have no effect other than making the Ham Demon angry. Roaring even louder than before, it ripped a meat processor out of where it was bolted to the floor and charged at Tak, swinging the machinery at her.

Jumping aside again, Tak fired another plasma blast, this time destroying the processor. Then, while the Ham Demon was disoriented by the loss of its weapon, jumped forward and slashed its face with her PAK legs, gouging out one of its eyes and barely missing the other. Now blinded and in pain, the Ham Demon gave a bellow of agony and ran in a random direction, Tak smirking as she watched it head straight towards a wall-

_SMASH!_

-and then her jaw dropped as it smashed straight through that wall, emerging on the other side. Staring through the new hole in her building in disbelief, Tak watched as the Ham Demon went on a rampage on the street outside, attacking anything it could get its meaty paws on.

"…Huh, should I just let it keep doing this? I mean, it's already been made, it'd be a shame to waste it," Tak mused, before shaking it off, "No, I can't risk someone tracking it back to me — even if this whole species is too stupid to realize the actual implications, the last thing I need is being tied down in a lawsuit for property damage or something."

So, hesitantly, Tak braced herself and took off running after the Ham Demon.

_Doomsville Advanced Scientific Research Center, Some Time Later_

"…And thus the war between the Girly Scouts and the secret societies of Poop Cola-powered wizards for control of the national zeitgeist continues to this day, unaware that they're being manipulated by a cabal of the Illuminati, Freemasons, Templars, and of course, Cocofang and his vile cohorts," Bill finished with a flourish, finally turning from his board back to Dib. Anything else he was going to say stalled as he saw that Dib's head was lolling to one side, eyes lidded and snoring lightly. Frowning at this, Bill reached over and slapped him upside the head.

"Bigfoot's tonsillitis!" Dib blurted out, blinking blearily, before he registered Bill in front of him, "Oh right, you. You done?"

"When did I lose you?" Bill asked irritably.

"Uh, I think you were talking about those plastic tips at the ends of shoelaces," Dib said, face scrunched up as he reluctantly tried to remember what Bill had been talking about.

"They're called aglets. Their true purpose is sinister," Bill said, before grumbling, "Great, now I have to go over it all again."

"Oh come on, can't you just torture me instead?" Dib groaned, sinking into his seat as much as his binds would allow.

Bill opened his mouth to respond, only to be cut off as the intercom on his desk buzzed. Frowning again at the interruption, he turned from Dib to hit the respond button.

"What is it?" he snapped.

"Sorry, sir, but there's a situation in the control room that requires your attention," a voice responded. Huffing in annoyance, Bill turned and walked towards the door, grabbing the back of Dib's chair and dragging him along after himself.

"Er, I don't suppose you could just leave me here?" Dib asked, "Or, you know, actually let me go?"

"No, I'm keeping an eye on you," Bill replied, not looking back at Dib as he spoke.

Rolling his eyes, Dib chose not to argue for the moment, instead taking in his surroundings. Before, he'd been pulled down the hallway too fast to actually see what it looked like, but now that he did, he was surprised at how mundane it all was. It looked like any run-of-the-mill corporate office hallway, with blandly-colored walls covered with equally-bland motivational posters, as well as several points where the dust outlines on the walls suggested that other posters and signs had once been placed. In fact, they passed several people in the uniforms of CREAM agents who were in the process of taking posters and signs down and putting up new ones with their organization's logo.

"Did you just buy this place?" Dib asked, looking over his shoulders to arch an eyebrow at his captor.

"Yeah, it used to belong to some private astronomical research group," Bill replied, "Apparently they bankrupted themselves by dedicating all their resources to finding out where Mars disappeared to, even though their backers cared more about getting stars named after themselves or something. All a waste of time, of course, since everyone knows Mars was pulled into another dimension by an eldritch octopus god."

Dib felt tempted to tell Bill what _really_ happened to Mars, but since that felt like it'd be more of a headache than it was worth, he decided to keep his mouth shut and let Bill keep ranting.

"Anyway, this provided us with a perfect place to permanently relocate our base of operations. Before that, we'd been stuck renting space wherever we could find it. Ah, here we are," Bill continued, until they apparently reached their destination. Plopping the chair down and turning it around so that Dib could see that they had entered what appeared to be an office area full of agents typing away at computers, he walked over towards the nearest one.

"Alright, so what's so important?" Bill asked the agent.

"Sir, there appears to be some kind of disturbance further downtown," the agent replied. Entering a command into his keyboard, he caused what was on his computer to appear on the bank of monitors covering the wall on the opposite side of the room. To everyone's surprise, it was now showing footage of a giant monster made of ham rampaging up and down a street. Dib in particular was surprised when he noticed it was holding a struggling Tak in one hand and was smacking her against every blunt object it passed; hadn't Zim said something about a Ham Demon the first time Tak had shown up?

"It's just as I feared!" Bill suddenly shouted, instantly getting everyone's attention, "We're being invaded by an alternate universe where man evolved from ham instead of monkeys!"

"Seriously? Where do you people come up with this stuff?" Dib asked, rolling his eyes as all the agents gasped dramatically at Bill's proclamation.

"Everyone move out!" Bill ordered, ignoring Dib's commentary. In response, the agents all jumped to their feet and scrambled towards a row of lockers in the corner of the room. Opening the lockers, they pulled out high tech-looking guns and ran out of the room, all the while chanting "hup-hup-hup" for some reason.

"Hey, wait, what about me?" Dib asked as Bill also made his way towards the exit.

"Oh, you'd like to come along and sabotage my efforts again, wouldn't you?" Bill sneered.

"Actually, I was just hoping you'd let me go," Dib said, shrugging.

"Well that's not happening either, you'd just come after me and then sabotage me," Bill said, "Well, you can just stay until I get back, and then I'll break out the mind probe I bought at that CIA yard sale and use it to find out who you're working for."

With that statement, and a final dramatic gesture, Bill swept out of the room. Watching him disappear down the hall, Dib waited until he heard the telltale sounds of Bill leaving on the elevator, and then went to work on trying to free himself from the chair.

"Come on, it's just rope," Dib muttered, as the rope refused to budge or tear from his efforts to wiggle free. After a few minutes of this he gave up, and looked around for some else he could use. Spotting a letter opener conveniently left lying on the edge of a desk, he began shuffling the chair across the floor towards it. Reaching it, he maneuvered the chair as carefully as he could to position it so that his rope-bound arm was right next to the letter opener. He then leaned into it and started moving his arm back and forth, allowing the blade to saw through the rope.

It took a few minutes, but finally the rope gave and Dib was able to free his arm. Not pausing, he used that newfound freedom to grab the letter opener and use it to start cutting away at his other bindings. After several more minutes, he was fully free, and he jumped out of the chair.

"Okay so now what?" he muttered, tossing the letter opener back onto the desk and glancing at the monitors, "Should I go after them after all? I mean, I don't want to feed into Bill's paranoia, but I kinda doubt they'll be able to deal with that thing on their own, and…"

Dib trailed off as, on the screen, Tak burst free of the Ham Demon's grip and fired a pointblank plasma blast in its face, sending it flying, before chasing after it.

"…Or I could just let Tak handle this. She'll probably be done before those idiots even get down there," Dib decided, before awkwardly looking around for a moment. Then, deciding that he'd probably been through enough today to qualify for having fulfilled his assignment, he started walking towards the exit.

_Planetary Movies Studio Lot, Same Time_

Viera stood off to one side of the soundstage, bored out of her mind as she watched the crew attempting to film a scene. On the actual set, Claudia — who was wearing the gaudiest medieval princess outfit Viera had ever seen, complete with a viking helmet for some reason — was dangling in midair from a rather conspicuous harness, waving around a cheap plastic "crystal" wand while a group of other actors wearing various mismatched medieval-style costumes were standing on the floor looking up at her. Viera honestly thought it looked more like a poor man's Lord of the Rings than any kind of serious production.

The fact that this was the thirtieth attempted take on this scene wasn't helping her opinion of matters, either.

"Behold, for I now wield the Wand of Glorshpor!" Claudia proclaimed melodramatically, "Now I shall reign supreme over all of Gloryland, and- AH!"

Claudia was cut off as the harness, which had been slowly swaying her side-to-side, suddenly jerked to one side, smacking her into one of the styrofoam "stone" walls, knocking it over. Arching an eyebrow at that, Viera glanced over at where the harness operators were standing and fumbling with the various wires and cables they had to pull to make it move.

"Sorry!" one of them shouted, "Something got tangled, and then it slipped, and-"

"Someone fire that idiot, or I quit!" a slightly dazed-looking Claudia shouted, still dangling in midair. As security guards dragged the operator away and other crew members reset the stage, Claudia shook her head either to clear it or just in annoyance, and then she snapped, "Vivian! Get over here and fix my hair and makeup!"

"Yes, Miss von Wunderbar," Viera replied with a sigh; as she had been warned, the woman seemed utterly incapable of getting her name right. Hell, she hadn't even used the same wrong name twice in a row so far.

Shaking that off, Viera grabbed a nearby device she'd quickly learned to keep on hand just in case. It looked vaguely like a giant, old-fashioned blow-dryer with a large box attached to its base that had a small computer screen and keypad on its side. This was a Stylist 9000, apparently the cutting-edge in Hollywood fashion equipment.

" _And somehow they can pay for this yet are stuck with props I'd expect for a Hi Skool play,_ " Viera thought as she walked over to Claudia, who had been lowered to the floor, had removed her helmet, and was glaring at her expectantly. In response, Viera tapped a command into the keypad, pointed the Stylist at Claudia, and switched it on. As the blower spun to life, the box opened up and numerous robotic arms emerged, holding various hair care and makeup products, which went to work on Claudia immediately. Within minutes, the aging actress' look had been restored to its pre-crash state.

"Hmph, I suppose that'll do," Claudia said, glancing in a small mirror also popping out of the Stylist, "Still, don't quit your day job, Valerie."

Rolling her eyes, Viera deactivated the Stylist and walked away, allowing Claudia to get back to work. She was hoisted back up into the air, everyone else got back into position, and the cameras started rolling again.

"Behold, for I now wield the Wand of Glorshpor! Now I shall reign supreme over all of Gloryland, and all show bow before my supreme wonder. I-GAH, KOFF, GACK!" This time, Claudia was interrupted with a coughing fit, the cast and crew all groaning as the director called cut again.

"Why am I not properly hydrated?!" Claudia screeched, "Victoria! Where's my mineral water?!"

"Coming, Miss von Wunderbar," Viera said, keeping her voice to a monotone so that she didn't audibly groan. Couldn't this day just be over already?

Trying to focus on simply get through the assignment, Viera grabbed a water bottle and walked it over to Claudia, who snatched it out of her hand. The actress gulped it down, then tossed the bottle aside and snapped, "Now go get me an espresso! If I'd known these idiots were going to slow down production so much, I'd have stocked up on my caffeine beforehand!"

Choosing not to comment on the fact that almost all the delays experienced today had been Claudia's own fault, Viera turned back towards the buffet, making her way towards the extremely advanced-looking coffee machine on one end of the table. Again pondering why a studio with such a limited budget was wasting funds on stuff like this, she punched in an order into its keypad and stood back to wait as it was made.

Then, to her surprise, the machine sparked, let out a whining screech, and then went silent.

"The hell?" Viera muttered, tapping the side of the machine and getting nothing but a few more sparks in response.

"Veronica! Where's my espresso?!" Claudia screeched, Viera wincing at both the sound and anticipation of how the older woman was probably going to react.

"Uh, sorry Miss von Wunderbar, the coffee machine broke," she called back. For a moment, there was a total silence, and then Claudia gave a piercing shriek.

"WHAT?!" she screamed, tearing out of the harness and stomping over to loom over the startled Viera, "You broke my coffee machine?! How am I supposed to make this idiotic movie without caffeine?!"

"I can just go buy some, there must be a hundred places around here that sell coffee!" Viera said quickly, unnerved by the intense look on Claudia's face.

"Are you actually suggesting that I drink _pedestrian_ coffee? That sludge is for _normal_ people, not stars like me!" Claudia screamed in her face, "Do you understand me, Rebecca?!"

"Oh come on, that one doesn't even start with a 'v'!" Viera snapped. It was only as a look of shock appeared on Claudia's face that she realized that might not have been a smart idea.

"How dare you talk back to me?! Do you know who I am?! What kind of pressure I'm under?! How daRE YOU?!" Claudia screamed, voice distorting mid-screech, face twisting into the visage of an old hag, eyes blazing bright red.

"What the…?" Viera asked, eyebrows arching in stunned surprise.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS BEING A STAR! ALL I ASK FOR IN RETURN IS A FEW NICETIES, AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?!" Claudia shrieked, body contorting and starting to hover in midair.

"Uh, Miss von Wunderbar, can you please calm down? This is going to disrupt the shooting schedule," the director said, leaving Viera further surprised at how calm he was. Were they all already aware that Claudia was some kind of banshee?

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I HAVE A CAFFEINE-WITHDRAWAL HEADACHE, AND THIS BRAT DESTROYED MY COFFEE MACHINE!" Claudia snarled, glaring at the director, "YOU WANT ME TO KEEP WORKING? THEN BRING ME HER FLESH, SO I CAN FEAST ON THE SWEET TASTE OF HER FAILED HOPES AND DREAMS OF STARDOM!"

"Wait, what?!" Viera exclaimed, eyes bulging out as the cast and crew's only response to that insane demand was to exchange looks and shrugs, "Come on, you're not actually going to do that, are you? It doesn't make any sense!"

"Yeah, well, if the star wants something, she gets it. Sorry," the director replied.

"Man, we lose more interns this way," a crew member muttered halfheartedly, as everyone walked menacingly towards Viera. Panic setting in, her gaze quickly darted around the room in search of some kind of defense, before settling on the stupid broken coffee machine. Desperate idea sparking, she suddenly grabbed it and threw it through the air to hit Claudia in the face. With a startled "oof!" of surprise, the banshee/demon/whatever she was fell from the air to hit the ground with a smack.

As the cast and crew all gasped and ran over to surround their star, Viera took the opening and bolted towards the exit, being followed moments later by a recovered Claudia and a now angry mob of crew members.

_GenericCo. Doomsville Branch Office, Same Time_

Steve stifled a yawn as he made yet another trip towards the conference room. Which was all he had been doing all day, walking back and forth between there and the break room, retrieving coffee and snacks for the executives. Seriously, how much coffee could a person have in the same day?

Then again, they might have needed it to just to stay awake, judging by how boring the meeting was. Every time he walked into the room, someone was standing in front of graphs and charts, droning on in such a dull monotone that it sounded like a _literal_ drone. True, maybe Steve was a little biased, not being used to this sort of work setting, but then he actually managed to decipher what they were so eagerly working on, and he felt like banging his head against a wall.

A paper clip. That was their big product development they were so excited about. A new kind of high tensile, nano-carbon fiber-based paper clip. The realization that that's what they had spent hours happily going into extensive detail about was utterly mind-boggling to Steve.

"…And in conclusion, the Super Paper Clip's ability to hold ten times as much paper as a normal paper clip will revolutionize the market, which we will dominate," the meeting's leader was concluding as Steve entered the room, handing out coffee orders as everyone clapped. Seeing how excited they all were, Steve couldn't help but sigh and roll his eyes.

"Why don't they use this kind of tech for something bigger than a damn paper clip?" he muttered.

"I heard that, intern!" the meeting leader snapped, "And what do you know, huh? Professor Membrane makes billions off of a specialized _toast_ , does this look stupid compared to that? Huh? Huh?"

Steve wisely chose not to reply, not wanting to get dragged into a pointless argument. And in any case, at that moment one of the other executives got an alert on his phone.

"Hey, intern, I've got a package down at the front desk. Go get it for me," he ordered. Nodding in acknowledgement, Steve turned and left the room, heading towards the elevator and making his way towards the ground level, all the while mentally grumbling at how low his tolerance for all this was getting.

Emerging into the lobby and making his way towards the front desk, he was considering just ditching out on the remainder of the assignment, when the front doors suddenly burst open. Startled, Steve looked up and was surprised to see his sister running into the building, quickly shutting the doors behind herself and shoving a nearby large decorative plant pot in front of it as a makeshift barricade.

"Viera? What are-?" Steve started to ask, only to jump in further surprise when a large crowd appeared on the other side of the doors and started banging on the glass, "What's going on?"

"Oh, you know, the main actress on the movie set I was assigned to is some kind of banshee or demon or something, and I pissed her off so now she ordered the cast and crew to feed me to her, that's all," Viera said, slightly manic from the adrenaline rush.

"…Our lives should not be so messed up that that sounds normal," Steve said after a moment of stunned thought. Then, as the glass doors started to crack apart from the movie crew's assault, Steve grabbed his sister and started running; there was no time to wait for the elevator, so they ran up the stairs as the doors gave and the crew poured into the building and chased after them. A few minutes later, the twins emerged back onto the corporate floor, and almost literally bumped into the executive who had sent him downstairs.

"Wha, intern? What are you doing? And where's my package?" he demanded.

Steve tried to quickly scramble together an explanation, but hearing the movie crew probably no more than a minute behind them, his mind latched onto the only thing he could think of.

"There are people coming to steal the coffee!" he blurted out. Viera stared at him incredulously, but the executive paled, eyes widening in shock. He then ran over to a glass case on the wall that Steve hadn't noticed, marked "Break In Case Of Coffee Emergency", and broke the glass with his elbow, before slapping his hand onto the big red button inside the case. In response, alarms started blaring, and all the employees in the office jumped to attention.

"Battle stations! They're coming for our coffee! This isn't a drill!" the executive yelled, pulling a club out of nowhere and charging towards the stairway. He was soon followed by all the other office workers, who were wielding guns, clubs, knives, pitchforks, torches, and other assorted weapons; one guy was even carrying Old Smith's skeleton.

The twins stared in disbelief as the office workers reached the stairway door just as the movie crew emerged, the two groups slamming into each other and quickly dissolving into an all out brawl.

"What just happened?" Viera asked, watching as the guy carrying Old Smith smacked the skeleton into Claudia and sending the witch flying.

"They take their coffee _really_ seriously," Steve replied, before pointing down the hall, "There's an emergency exit down that way. I say we get out of here and let this mess handle itself."

"Fine by me," Viera agreed, the pair slipping out the back of the building as the battle quickly spread throughout it.

_Smiling Funtime Paints Company Factory, Same Time_

Nyx sat slumped in her chair, eyes glazed, tongue hanging out her mouth, and magazine dangling loosely in her hand. It slipped from her hand and hit the floor with a slapping sound that caused her to jerk in surprise, losing her balance and falling off the chair.

"Oof! Who-wha-huh? …Oh, right," Nyx exclaimed in disorientation, before remembering where she was. Frowning, she got to her feet and walked over to the spot on the wall that had been splattered with the paint. Touching it with a finger, she found that it had dried.

"Finally. And that only took… three hours?" she commented, checking the time on the stopwatch before grunting in annoyance and grabbing the clipboard and marking it, "Ugh, that's time I not getting back. Well, at least it's finally done. So, now I-"

" _Sample 1 complete. Engaging sample 2,_ " the robotic voice of the paint gun apparatus suddenly intoned, before it shifted position and fired several more pellets at a different section of wall, splattering purple paint over it, " _Begin monitoring of time elapsing until sample has dried, now._ "

"… _Flirk_ this," Nyx said after a few moments of staring at the setup in disbelief, tossing the stopwatch and clipboard away and stomping over to the door. Once in the hallway, she looked around, trying to remember which way led to the exit; drawing a blank, she picked a direction at random.

After walking for a few minutes, Nyx came across another door. Ignoring the signs marking it as being a restricted access area, she kicked it open and marched in, only to come up short, staring in confusion. She was standing on a platform overlooking a floor covered with an assembly line. Everywhere she looked, machines were rattling away, making paint, placing it in cans, and placing the cans in boxes to prepare for shipping.

That wasn't what was so shocking, however. No, the shock came from the sight of the rat-like humans who were working that assembly like, chained to each other and their posts, while guards armed with shock batons patrolled around them. It all reminded Nyx of any number of Irken-controlled planets, if less well organized.

"Hey, kid! What are you doing here?" a guard demanded, walking up to her.

"Wrong door," Nyx replied halfheartedly, "What is all this?"

"What's it look like? We use these freaks for free labor in order to keep up production around the clock," the guard explained, not caring he was admitting to a crime, "It's cheaper than having actual employees or fully mechanizing the assembly line."

"What?! That's terrible!" Nyx shouted, outraged, "I mean, sure, enslaving lesser races makes sense, but only if it's for some grander purpose. Doing it to save some monies just because you're cheap isn't grand, it's just _stupid!_ "

"Well who asked you?" the guard asked crossly, before grabbing Nyx's arm and starting to drag her away, "Now c'mon, I don't know why you're here, but we're going to have a nice long chat in the security office-"

_CRACK_

"Huh?" the guard asked, blinking in confusion at the sound. But before he could try to find out where it came from, Nyx twisted in a way that only a dislocated shoulder could let her, performing a spinning kick that hit the guard in the back and sent him stumbling forward, letting go of Nyx in his surprise. Taking advantage of this, Nyx deployed her PAK legs and blasted the guard, sending him flying into several shipping boxes and bursting the paint cans.

Ignoring the paint splattering her, Nyx turned back to the assembly floor and fired several precise blasts, targeting the rat people's chains and the guards' shock batons. There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone, human and mutant, process what had just happened, and then as one they all looked up to where Nyx was looking down at them, blue paint covering half her face.

"Freedom!" she shouted, throwing her arms in the air. There was another moment of silence, and then the rat people went berserk, attacking their now unarmed oppressors, who could only scream in horror.

A few minutes later, a cheerfully whistling Nyx emerged from the burning paint factory. Happily waving at the rat people as they ran off, smashing anything and anyone in their path, she walked off, considering this a good day's work.

_Game Slave Incorporated HQ, Same Time_

Gaz sat on the edge of the elevated part of the loading dock, surrounded by boxes of games soon to be shipped out to stores, savoring a soda as she reflected on the day so far. She'd learned plenty about the ins-and-outs of how the video game industry worked, gotten a first look at new games that were in development… and gotten plenty of fun out of provoking Mrs. Albertson into punishing her employees for petty reasons. That had been worth this whole assignment on its own.

" _Speaking of which,_ " she thought with a smirk, noting Richards the janitor off to one side of the room, mopping the floor. Finishing the last of her soda, she tossed the can across the room, Richards looking up as it clattered on the concrete.

"Better hurry and grab that trash before you disciplined for being slow on the job," she said with a smirk. The janitor glared at her, but huffed and walked over to pick up the can. Watching him, Gaz was considering how best to make him look bad for Mrs. Albertson when a sudden commotion sounded from outside the loading dock's external doors, seconds before they suddenly burst open.

"What the-?" Gaz asked, staring in disbelief as a horde of rat people swarmed into the loading dock, smashing boxes and spilling their contents without even seeming to notice them, before coming to a stop.

"This isn't the Mall either!" one of them screeched.

"Then we'll just keep going building-to-building until we find it!" another one shouted. With that, the rat people swarmed back out of the loading dock, absently stomping the spilled Game Slaves and game cartridges underfoot as they did so. As fast as they'd appeared they were gone, leaving a stunned and confused Gaz and Richards standing amidst the wreckage.

"…What the hell just happened?" Gaz asked aloud after a moment.

"That's what I'd like to know," Mrs. Albertson said as she walked into the room, flanked by a pair of her burly security guards and looking over all the smashed gaming equipment, "Someone start talking, now!"

Gaz turned to say something to the woman, only for Richards to beat her to the punch.

"It was her!" he shouted, pointing at Gaz.

"What?!" Gaz shouted, jumping to her feet and glaring at the janitor, who faced her back with a vindictive gleam in his eyes.

"Yeah, she smashed everything up for fun and said she was going to frame someone else for it, ma'am," Richards said quickly, "She said you'd be too stupid to realize it was her."

"Oh, is that right?" Mrs. Albertson said, glowering down at Gaz, who was gaping in disbelief and rage.

"I'm not- he's- I didn't-" she sputtered in outrage, and stumbling over a counterargument as she realized that there was no way the woman would believe that mutant rat people were responsible.

"Discipline!" Mrs. Albertson shouted, and faster than the off guard Gaz could react the guards descended on her, tasering her and sending her to the ground in a twitching mass.

Watching the little brat getting a taste of the medicine she'd been ensuring other people got all day, Richards allowed himself a smirk, and then quickly left the room.

_MacMeaties, Downtown Doomsville, Same Time_

Hands cramping and boredom-induced exhaustion kicking in, Zim suppressed a yawn as he crossed the last "T" and dotted the last "I" on the final piece of paperwork and moved it into the completed stacks. Only then did he allow himself to faceplant on the desk, a series of small shocks from his PAK the only thing keeping him awake.

Why did being a restaurant manager involve addressing such menial details as exactly how many fries were sold or how much ice was made every day? Was this just human stupidity, or was it a universal fact? If it was the latter, then a small part of Zim felt a little sorry for Sizz-Lorr… a small part that the rest of him then clubbed, stabbed, shot, set on fire and threw out an airlock. He was _not_ going to feel sympathy for his former taskmaster.

"At least this is all over," he moaned into the desk, wondering if he could leave yet.

As if on cue, the manager walked into the "office".

"Hey, seems you managed to finish all this. That's great! Now we can move you on up to the other paperwork!" he commented cheerfully, while Zim's head snapped up, eyes wide in horror.

" _Other_ paperwork?!" he exclaimed, "What other paperwork? Zim has completed all the paperwork!"

"No, no, you just completed the _beginner's_ paperwork, which proves you're ready to handle the heavy duty stuff," the manager explained with a chuckle, flipping a switch on the wall that Zim hadn't noticed. In response, the ceiling opened and a stack of papers ten times bigger than the original fell on Zim, crushing the desk and flattening him.

"Grrk," Zim groaned from where he was pinned to the floor.

"Better get started," the manager said. Anything else he was going to say was preempted as Zim, eye twitching, gave a wordless scream of rage, PAK legs deploying to cut him free of his paper prison and lift him into the air.

"No more Irk-damned paperwork!" he screamed, incinerating the papers with plasma blasts, blasting the manager across the hall, and then rampaging down it into the restaurant. Blinded with rage and annoyance, Zim didn't come back to his senses until he found himself on the sidewalk outside MacMeaties, the restaurant itself trashed and burning behind him.

"…Oops. Well, guess I'll have to come up with some kind of cover for- eh?" Zim's musings were cut off as he looked around and saw that everything for blocks around was seemingly consumed in a riot. An apparent free-for-all of one at that, composed of humans in black suits and sunglasses, office workers, people wielding film equipment being led by a screaming banshee, rat people, and (to Zim's further surprise) the Ham Demon, all fighting each other and wrecking anything that got in their way.

Looking between this confusing mess and the destroyed restaurant behind him, Zim decided to let one be blamed for the other and quickly slipped away.

_Doomsville Middle Skool, Some Time Later_

Tenn walked through the halls of the skool, heading to turn in her assignment card. A part of her was almost sorry the day was over, as she'd kinda enjoyed watching Rankle work, especially watching him convert the prisoners in his private jail into zombies. With a little tweaking, she was even sure she'd be able to make that work for her…

Passing by an ajar door marked "Detention", Tenn paused as she saw something out of the corner of her eye, and turned to confirm what she was seeing.

Inside the room, which had very dim lighting and was ringed by threatening-looking robots, were several students, including some she was surprised to see both the presence and state of. Dib's team and Zim looked mentally and physically exhausted, Tak and Gaz were heavily bruised (with the latter also slightly smoldering), Nyx was covered in paint but otherwise looked fine, and Skoodge looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

As she stood there trying to figure out what was happening, she sensed the presence of someone behind her. Turning, she was greeted by the ever-ominous Miss Bitters and a neutral-looking Nny.

"Did you horribly fail your assignment as well?" Miss Bitters, glaring down at her.

"No ma'am, I didn't," Tenn said quickly, presenting her assignment card, which Rankle had marked with positively glowing comments. Sneering, Miss Bitters took it and gestured down the hall.

"In that case, congratulate yourself on being the least pathetic member of this failed student body, and go home," she snapped, before sweeping into the room, Nny casually following after her, his presence apparently eliciting a mixed scream-groan from Skoodge.

Deciding she didn't want to stick around to see what happened next, Tenn turned around and fled for the exit, deciding to call it a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed that. I figure the randomness made up for the lack of actual story.
> 
> Oh, and fun fact I only realized when I first wrote this chapter on FFN - every chapter of Season 2 has so far been longer than its corresponding chapter in Season 1.
> 
> Please comment!


	5. Rise of the Unknown Rival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Save Earth faces a new enemy, emerging from an unexpected place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say here, except that all first-time readers here on AO3 should be grateful you didn't have the long wait my FFN readers did. This chapter was a pain to put together, on top of various real life interruptions.
> 
> Anyway, read on!

Once again, Team Save Earth were gathered in Dib's room before a bank of monitors displaying the various members of the Swollen Eyeball Network. Behind them was a cork board containing a series of photographs and camera footage stills, providing visual aids for their summary of their latest mission.

"…And with Tak and Tenn's control mechanism destroyed, the chupacabras they'd brainwashed went berserk, before fleeing back into their underground tunnels," Dib was saying, gesturing towards one of the photos, which showed the blurry image of several man-sized figures running into a large hole in the side of a building.

"Huh, who'd have thought chupacabras would live underneath old tire factories?" Agent Tunaghost commented.

"Yeah, that's what I said," Steve said, shuddering slightly at the memory.

"Are you sure those are chupacabras?" Agent Nessie asked, "They kinda look like mutant horses."

"Really? I thought they looked like dwarf bears," Agent Disembodied Head said, "Then again, those photos are all so blurry it's hard to make out anything at all."

"Evidence provided by Mothman is lackluster? I'm shocked," Agent Spider Monkey said dryly.

"Ugh, this guy again?" Viera muttered, she and the others rolling their eyes at the belligerent agent's presence.

"Remind me again what evidence _you've_ ever provided of anything?" Dib asked, glaring lightly at Spider Monkey's screen and getting a much stronger glare in response.

"I'll have you know that I discovered a tribe of Tikoloshe trying to sneak into the country onboard a freighter!" Spider Monkey snapped.

"Hang on, didn't those turn out to just be some rare breed of monkey some rich jackass was smuggling?" Tunaghost asked, arching an eyebrow.

"None of that was ever confirmed!" Spider Monkey said, sounding flustered.

"Enough," Agent Darkbootie cut in, "We're not here to discuss Agent Spider Monkey's prior record, we're here for Agent Mothman's team's presentation. Back to the subject of which, while the images of the chupacabras are mildly impressive, you're once again lacking any evidence of these aliens you claim are always involved."

"As usual, utterly failing to impress," Spider Monkey sneered, having apparently regained his bravado.

"Seriously, what is your problem?" Steve asked, giving Spider Monkey a glare of his own.

"My problem is rank amateurs like you wasting our time with this kind of faked garbage!" Spider Monkey practically snarled.

"Faked?!" Dib exclaimed, "Where do you get off-?"

"I said enough!" Darkbootie yelled, "We are all professionals, so start acting like it!"

"Fine, whatever," Spider Monkey grumbled, he and Team Save Earth looking equally disgruntled.

"Am I the only one who wants to kick this guy in the head?" Viera whispered to Dib, who snickered in response but quickly composed himself when Darkbootie shot him a look.

"As I was saying," Darkbootie continued with a weary sigh, "While I am pleased with your dedication and what results you _have_ managed to show, the fact remains that you haven't given us anything really concrete about these aliens. So, I'd say that it's basically business as usual for your team."

Spider Monkey's silhouette shifted, clearly about to say something snide again, only for Darkbootie to shoot him a look even more pointed than the one he'd given Dib.

"As such, I'll simply say that you three should carry on as per normal, and hopefully you'll get us something solid eventually," Darkbootie continued, "And on that note, I think this is a good point to end this meeting. Any objections?"

There were none, and one-by-one the other agents' screens switched off. The last one to do so was Spider Monkey, who shot Dib a final glare before his screen went dark as well.

"Well, that was pleasant," Steve said dryly, "You blow up that guy's dog or something?"

"I still have literally no idea who he is or why he apparently hates me," Dib replied with a shrug, "I mean, I'm used to people not liking me, but there's usually a _reason_ for it. I'm trying to figure out what I could have done to get this guy so mad, but I keep drawing a blank."

"Maybe he's just a petty jerk? There's plenty of people out there who just get off on being jackasses to everyone," Viera suggested, before coughing and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like Gaz's name.

"Well, whatever it is, it doesn't matter," Dib decided, "Let him be a jerk for whatever reason. We have more important things to worry about."

The twins nodded in agreement, and with that the three of them moved on, putting the whole situation behind them. Unfortunately for them, not everyone felt the same way…

_Elsewhere, Same Time_

In a darkened room, Agent Spider Monkey sat before a bank of computer monitors. Outside of his SEN privacy silhouette, he wasn't really that intimidating to look at, just a boy roughly Dib's age, wearing jeans and a grey sweatshirt, with messy orange hair and stern brown eyes. But the look currently in those eyes, as he directed an intense glare at his computers, would have made anyone wary.

The target of that glare was the various screenshots and video clips of the just-concluded SEN meeting, more specifically of Team Save Earth. Narrowing his eyes into an even more intense glare as he looked at Dib's image, he snorted in disgust.

"Arrogant, big-headed jackass. You think you're so special, don't you?" Spider Monkey sneered, "Just because you happen to stumble across genuine paranormal events without even trying while the rest of us have nothing to show for all our hard work, you think you're better than me?"

Snarling, Spider Monkey tossed a folder at one of the screens depicting Dib's face, spilling its contents. Continuing to grumble for a few more minutes, Spider Monkey finally trailed off with a huff. Reaching into a drawer of the desk holding the computers, he pulled out a digital recorder and switched it on.

"Personal journal of Arnold Quis, codename Agent Spider Monkey, entry #3463," the newly-identified Quis spoke into the recorder, "Dib's team presented another case at today's meeting. As usual, the lucky bastard showed that he had actually had a genuine cryptid encounter on top of one of his fights with those aliens. Fortunately, the evidence was of poor enough quality that no one else seemed to believe it. Unfortunately, my attempts to use this in conjunction with bringing up his poor track record and use it against him were overridden. Sufficient to say, the role of skeptic I'm playing isn't really working to sabotage Dib's standing with the Network."

Getting to his feet, Quis began to pace as he gestured angrily with his free hand, vocal pitch growing more intense as he went on.

"How can that big-headed freak be so lucky, anyway?" Quis snapped, "He screws up all his attempts to display evidence, constantly annoys everyone in the Network, hell he's even broken the rules at least once, but he's barely ever been reprimanded, let alone punished! And on top of all this, he repeatedly encounters cryptids and has _regular_ interactions with aliens! I've spent years investigating the paranormal, and I have nothing to show for it, and he just has it all handed to him!"

Now fully ranting and turning red in the face, Quis paced even faster, his hand gestures growing even wilder.

"No to mention all the other crap he's got going for him. I mean, I'm way richer than he is, sure. Socialite parents make more than celebrity scientist ones, I guess. But at least his father still shows up to spend time with him on a semi-regular basis — I can't even remember the last time I've been in the same building as my parents for more than a few minutes at a time! Plus, shouldn't being rich make me popular? But no, everyone avoids me because I happen to like the paranormal, whereas Dib… okay, yeah, he's an outcast in general, too, but he's actually made friends in the Network. When I try that, everyone just tells me I'm 'too abrasive'. What does that even mean?! I'm not 'abrasive' just because I always point out when people are wrong!"

Finally stopping to breathe, Quis dropped back into his chair, huffing and glaring at his screens. Focusing that glare at one screen in particular, he tapped a command onto his keyboard to run that footage again, watching as Viera leaned over to whisper something to Dib, who laughed quietly in response.

"And the worst part is, he's even gotten a girlfriend!" Quis exclaimed, "Yeah, they _say_ they're just friends, but I don't buy that! They've got so much chemistry, they'd both have to be in total denial to not actually be together! So why does that jerk get a girl while I don't?!"

Practically snarling at this point, Quis got ahold of himself and paused, taking a deep breath to calm down. After a few moments, he continued, "To be perfectly honest, I think I'm hitting my boiling point. Through sheer luck and happenstance, Dib is getting everything out of life that I deserve. And what can I do about it? Do a 180 and try and befriend him? Hell no, I won't lower myself to being his sidekick. And I can't even use my own evidence to expose Zim or those other aliens myself, because I just _know_ that regardless of me doing the work, Dib would end up getting the credit just because he'd been investigating longer. So no, that won't do at all."

Pausing again to go into deep thought, Quis was silent for several more moments. Then, a spark appeared in his eye, and a rather manic smirk split his face.

"Well, then I suppose I'll have to take drastic actions," he said, "If playing skeptic to try and undermine Dib's reputation isn't working, I'll just take a more direct approach. I'll sabotage that big-headed freak, until the senior agents have no choice but to kick him out of the Network, then I'll finally be able to shine. As for his friends… well, too bad, but they picked the wrong guy to buddy up to. Now, what do I need to do…?"

Now fully gripped in delusional pettiness, Quis set aside his recorder and settled in at his console, beginning to scheme his pointless revenge.

_Membrane Household, A Few Days Later_

Team Save Earth were once more in Dib's garage, gathered around the Spittle Runner. As usual in such a situation, the more technically-inclined Dib and Steve were doing the actual work on the ship, while Viera stood by and provided what help she could, usually handing them tools or checking readouts on a laptop connected to the ship's main console.

"How's that?" Dib called out from where he and Steve were under the engines, working on them.

"It still says 'beneath optimal operational levels'," Viera replied, reading off the computer screen.

"Damn it," Dib muttered, lightly smacking one of the engines with a wrench before getting up and rubbing his eyes, "Why can't we get this thing up and running again?"

"Maybe you should try punching the console again," Steve suggested as he also stood up. At the incredulous looks he got in return, he shrugged and said, "What? It worked last time."

"And I still say that was a fluke, with whatever enabled it being ruined when Norlock tore up the controls," Dib replied, setting the wrench aside, "I just hope that we can get this thing working again eventually. That whole fight happening in Siberia just proves that we never know where we're going to have to go in order to stop Zim or Tak. We need to be able to keep up with them, no matter-"

_Ding!_

Dib's mounting speech was cut off by a message alert coming from his laptop. Blinking in surprise at that, he walked over to it and tapped a command, bringing up the message. It was marked as being from an anonymous sender, and contained nothing but the words "view this" and a link. Confused, but figuring his computer's protective software would handle anything if this was malware, Dib clicked on the link.

An article popped up on the screen, apparently taken from some paranormal magazine that Dib vaguely recalled perusing on occasion. Specifically, an article about an old house that people were claiming was extremely haunted. And oddly enough, the address that was listed wasn't that far away.

"Is that legit?" Viera asked, she and Steve reading the article over Dib's shoulders.

"I honestly don't know," Dib replied, arching an eyebrow in confusion, "I mean, it sounds like the typical story as far as haunting sightings by bystanders go, so it could be real, but I would have thought I'd have heard about a haunted house only a few blocks away from _my_ house. How could I have not noticed something like that?"

"Well, according to this, it looks like the activity was only recently noticed," Steve commented, reading the article, "Maybe with everything else we've wrapped up in lately, something this small just got overlooked."

"I guess that makes sense," Dib muttered, thinking it over for a few moments before shrugging, "Well, we weren't getting much done here anyway, and it doesn't look like Zim or Tak are up to anything today. Want to go check this place out?"

The twins glanced at each other and likewise shrugged. The three of them then spent the next few minutes gathering equipment for a haunting investigation, before setting out. As they did so, however, they failed to notice the small camera planted on the fence of a house across the street, which was aimed right at them.

XXXXXXX

On the other side of the camera's transmission, Quis grinned as he watched things play out. As Dib and the twins left the house and made their way down the street, he chuckled nastily, before grabbing his recorder and flipping it on in order to properly gloat about his actions (it wasn't monologuing if you recorded it for a future audience; he was pretty sure that was the rule).

"And now it begins, the flies entering my web. Well, two flies and one moth, in any case," Quis sneered, before his face twisted up in thought, "Ugh, that was a terrible joke. I need to remember to delete this part later… anyway! The point is, Dib has taken my bait of a 'haunted' house. The idiot probably didn't even bother to check to see if the article I sent him was legitimately taken from a real magazine, or question where it came from. Just shows that he's not deserving of all his success if he's just going to bumble after any lead tossed at him without a second thought. And now he's walking right into my trap!"

Turning to another screen, Quis grinned widely as he brought up a series of schematics. Taking a moment to admire them, he spoke into the recorder again.

"I've created the perfect facsimile of a haunted house," he crowed, "Convincing enough to completely fool that rube and his friends into thinking that they've got a real haunting case on their hands. And then, when they report it in, I'll sweep in and expose it as fake. At the very least I'll utterly humiliate them, but if I'm really lucky, I can make it look like _they_ set up the whole thing. Trying to pass off a fraudulent paranormal case as legitimate is a total violation of SEN protocols. They'll get kicked right out of the Network, and stop hogging all the glory that should be mine! It's foolproof!"

Completely caught up in his fantasies, Quis started laughing, setting aside the recorder and sitting back to watch the show.

XXXXXXX

After a brief trek, Team Save Earth found themselves outside the supposedly haunted house. And quite frankly, even if they hadn't known ahead of time that it was said to be haunted, it wouldn't have been hard to figure out. It was a two-story Victorian building, with a rather creepy overall design that made it look like it was staring at passerby. Something not at all helped by the fact that the front door and every window was boarded up, eerie lights were seeping out in-between those boards, and the building's front yard was utterly overrun. Also, there was a thundercloud hovering right over the house, lightning cracking just as the trio arrived.

Which was odd, as it was an otherwise perfectly sunny day.

"…Where's that storm cloud coming from?" Steve asked, arching an eyebrow at the rather unlikely image before him.

"Better question — why is there even a Victorian style house in this neighborhood to begin with? It doesn't fit in at all," Viera commented, looking around at the otherwise modernly-designed neighborhood they were standing in.

"Maybe whoever built it liked the style," Dib suggested, though it didn't sound like he fully believed that himself, "Anyway, we're here, so we might as well go through with this."

With that, the three of them walked up to the house, crossing the creaking porch to approach the boarded-up front door. Reaching it, Dib pulled a crowbar out of his supply bag and jimmied it into a crack between two of the boards… and to his surprise, the door immediately popped open, without him having to even put any effort into it. He and the twins all blinked in confusion at that, but shrugged it off and entered the house.

The entrance foyer was a wide open space, with a staircase off to one side leading up to another floor, and doors on all the other walls leading to other hallways. Or doorways, at least, as the two doors off to the sides were off their hinges, and the one opposite the entrance was outright missing. Also, the wallpaper was peeling off in droves, and there was dust and cobwebs everywhere.

"Charming decor," Viera commented dryly, nose wrinkling in disgust. As if in response, a strong wind suddenly blew out of the other doors, blowing dust into the air as the front door slammed shut.

" _Get Out!_ " a screechy, static-filled voice suddenly boomed out, coming from seemingly nowhere. Dib and the twins looked around for the source, turning to each other when one didn't materialize.

"Is it just me, or does all this just seem really cliched?" Steve asked, "Like, really over the top beyond belief?"

"Yeah, it does seem a bit much," Dib agreed, "But it has to be real, right? I mean, what kind of idiot would waste their time and energy on such an elaborate fake haunted house, only to intentionally leave it looking this cheap?"

XXXXXXX

"Idiot? Cheap?!" Quis snapped, glaring at Dib's image on his screen, "How dare you, you big-headed jackass! This is a perfectly designed haunted house, and it sure as hell wasn't cheap to make! Do you know how much it costs to buy an empty plot of land and build a whole house on it this quickly? And don't even get me started on the machinery needed to make that storm cloud for atmospheric effect!"

Trailing off into angry grumbling, Quis decided to move things along, and tapped a command into his console, activating another mechanism elsewhere in the house.

XXXXXXX

Team Save Earth were starting to examine the foyer, when they suddenly heard the sound of heavy footsteps. Looking up to its source, they saw several of the visible boards in the half-rotted ceiling shake as something seemed to move across the floor above. After watching this for a moment, they glanced at each other.

"So that's obviously meant to be baiting us," Viera commented dryly.

"Yeah, but we don't have much else to work with, so we might as well check it out," Dib said. With that, the three headed towards the stairs, and made their way up to the next floor.

Reaching the next level, they were greeted by a hallway that ran the length of the hall. There were doors running down the hall, two on both sides, all of them shut. The floor was coated with dust, with no sign that it had been recently disturbed by someone walking over it.

"I'm guessing we're supposed to assume that what we heard was a ghost passing through here?" Steve asked for clarification.

"Seems like it. Let's each take a door to check out, then meet back up at the last one," Dib said. The twins nodded in agreement, and each walked towards one of the doors on the left hand side of the hallway, while Dib turned towards the nearer one on the right. Reaching it, he hesitated only a moment before opening it enough to carefully peer inside.

It appeared to be a study of some kind, with bookcases full of dusty and partly decayed books lining the walls, several half-rotted chairs and desks scattered around the room, and a fireplace built into one wall. Not seeing anything that immediately seemed dangerous, Dib entered the room. Pulling out an EMF detector and a camera, he then began scanning for anything unusual, and after a few minutes came up empty.

"Well, this is a wash," he said, putting his equipment away, "I should go see if the others have had any better-"

_FWOOSH!_

Dib gave a startled yelp as the fireplace suddenly burst to life, flames shooting out in a column taller than he was, which was vaguely shaped like a screaming skull. This dispersed after a moment, only to be followed immediately by all the books in the room suddenly moving on their own, slamming in and out of their spots on the shelves, which carried on for a solid minutes before stopping as suddenly as it had started and leaving Dib standing there in a stunned silence.

"Okay," he said after a moment as he reoriented himself, "That was weird. Especially since I didn't pick anything up right before it happened, and the energy of a ghost or poltergeist would have registered even before it made its presence known. Hmm, maybe I should scan again?"

While Dib started examining the room again, Viera was checking out her own door. To her mild disappointment, it was just a mid-sized bathroom, with a large bathtub on one end and a toilet and sink on the other. Deciding this would at least be a quick search, she walked over to the sink and reached up to the medicine cabinet above it, swinging it open. Finding nothing, as expected, she shut it closed again… and found a demonic-looking figure standing behind her in the mirror.

"Gah!" she shouted, spinning around and instinctively launching a fireball from her amulet in the demon's direction. However, there was nothing there, and the fireball passed through empty air to hit the wall. As the cracked wallpaper smoldered, Viera blinked, staring in confusion as she waited for her heartbeat to return to normal. Glancing back at the mirror showed nothing but her own reflection.

"What the hell was that? Was that real, or was I just seeing things?" she muttered, running a hand through her hair to calm herself. As if in response, there was a sudden rattling nose, and small fountains of dirty water exploded out of the sink and bathtub drains.

Gagging at the smell from the water she was just barely avoiding being drenched in, and now feeling more disgust than fear, Viera decided that whatever was going on, she was already regretting coming to this place.

Meanwhile, Steve had opened his own selected door to find a darkened room, with several large shapes that he couldn't quite make out. Pulling out a flashlight revealed these to be objects covered in tarps; cautiously pulling one off revealed the object beneath it to be a full-size mannequin. Arching an eyebrow at this, Steve pulled off a few more tarps, revealing more such mannequins.

"Okay?" he muttered, confused and weirded out, "What is the deal with these? You'd almost think whoever lived here was trying to be deliberately creepy or something."

A few more minutes were checking searching the room, and all Steve found were more mannequins. But then, just as he was about to quit, there was a sudden shuffling noise, as if someone or something nearby had just moved. Steve quickly spun around, flashlight moving about quickly to find the source of the sound. He didn't see anything, but just as he was starting to relax, he did notice something — all the mannequins' heads were now positioned so that they were looking in his direction, even though that wasn't how they were a moment ago. Almost as if they'd moved on their own…

"Nope," Steve said flatly, as he began quickly walking towards the door, "I've seen enough horror movies to know how this goes, and I am _not_ dealing with that on my own."

With that, Steve exited the room and shut the door behind him before the mannequins could all come to life and attack him or something. Emerging back into the hall, he looked around and saw Viera quickly walking out of her door, with Dib coming out of his a few moments afterwards.

"You guys find anything?" Steve asked, "Cause all I found were some creepy mannequins."

"I saw _something_ , I'm just not entirely sure what it was," Viera replied, still caught between worry and disgust.

"I saw something too, but I'm not sure how legitimate it was," Dib said, frowning as he examined the equipment in his hands, "I mean, I definitely saw something, but I didn't pick up anything that could point towards a paranormal cause."

"So, keep checking things out?" Steve suggested. Dib nodded in response, and the three of them moved towards the fourth door together. Pulling it open revealed a fairly large bedroom, with a four-poster bed and a large desk along one wall, and a large dresser cabinet along the opposite one. Like every other part of the house they'd seen so far, the room was coated in dust and cobwebs, and showed no sign that anyone had visited it recently.

Dib and the twins entered the room, prepared to start searching it for any paranormal evidence, only to freeze at a sudden thumping sound. Turning to face it, they saw it was coming from the cabinet, which shook slightly as something banged against it from the inside. Sharing looks, Dib started carefully walking towards the cabinet, with Steve and Viera close behind and covering him with their weapons. He reached out and slowly pulled one of the cabinet doors open…

"RRRRAAAAAGGGGHHHH!" a clown in a garishly bright costume, with wild red eyes and unnaturally sharp teeth, screamed as it burst out of the cabinet. Frothing at the mouth and arms flailing wildly, it leapt at Team Save Earth, who could only yell in surprise and jump backwards, Steve's blaster and Viera's amulet discharging by instinct but missing the clown entirely.

"Why the hell is that here?!" Viera exclaimed, in disbelief and panic as the shrieking clown continued to advance on them.

"I don't know!" Dib replied just as frantically, as he struggled to pull his gauntlets out of his bag, "But let's blast him before he gets any close-"

_CRACK!_

Whatever else Dib was going to say was cut off as the floor suddenly caved in beneath his feet. With surprised screams, he and the twins fell through the resulting hole, disappearing from sight.

"Gwuh?" the clown mumbled as he stared at the hole in confusion. And he wasn't the only one, as Quis was likewise staring at his screen in equal confusion. Not so much at the fact that the floor had collapsed — considering the steps he'd taken to make this house look as convincingly dilapidated as possible, not to mention how hollowed out the structure was with his special effects machinery, it did make some sense that parts of it would be too weak to hold up.

No, what confused Quis was something much more blatant and out of place.

"Where'd that clown come from?"

_Zim's Base, Same Time_

"Mwahahahahaha!" Zim cackled as he and his minions stood before one of the consoles in his lab, "Behold! See how the Dib-Stink and the Not-Dibs flee before the vile majesty of my Cyborg Death Clown!"

"I love this show," GIR commented obliviously, watching as the consoles showed the video feed from the Death Clown's eyes.

"Remind me again why you had to make this thing a clown?" Skoodge asked.

"Because they're freaky?" Nyx suggested.

"Exactly!" Zim said, "Humans are terrified of these gaudily-dressed, big-nosed albinos. And that instinctive fear will leave them too scared to fight back as it destroys them. I don't know why Dib and his little pets decided to come to this ugly house, but it's the perfect place to unleash this weapon!"

"Forgive me for saying so, sir," Ying spoke up, sounding like he hated giving Zim the honorific, "But won't the humans be suspicious of why a clown is randomly in this house?"

"Of course not," Zim said, with a dismissive hand wave, "Everyone knows that abandoned houses are where clowns build their nests before they hibernate for the winter."

"…That doesn't sound right," Skoodge said.

"Do not question Zim's research!" Zim snapped, "Now behold as my creation hunts the humans down and destroys them!"

XXXXXXX

Steve groaned as he regained consciousness, having momentarily blacked out. Rubbing his sore head, he looked around, and saw that he and the others had landed in what appeared to be a living room; he in particular had crashed on an old couch, which had apparently collapsed under the impact.

"You guys alright?" he called out as he pulled himself off the remains of the couch.

"I think so," Viera replied from where she'd landed on the floor a few feet away, "Something must have broken my fall."

"Yeah, me," Dib mumbled, lying face first against the floor, with Viera lying sprawled atop of him. Noticing this, she blushed and jumped off of him.

"Uh, heh, sorry about that," she said awkwardly, helping pull him to his feet.

"It's fine," he replied, shaking his head to clear it, before glancing up at the hole in the ceiling they'd just fallen through, "We should be more focused on dealing with that creepy clown monster thing. Because whatever it is, I kinda doubt it's going to just stay up in that room. We're not that lucky."

"So we have to fight a crazed clown in a haunted house?" Steve asked, "I think I've seen that in a movie. And it didn't go too well for the characters."

"Oh would you relax?" Viera said, "We've fought way worse. This should be a cakewalk."

XXXXXXX

"I don't think so, sweetheart," Quis sneered at his screen, "I don't know what the deal is with that clown, but I'm not letting it upstage me. You, your brother, and that big-headed jackass boyfriend of yours are going down because of _my_ plans, not that thing."

Fueled by the (in his mind, at least) righteous anger having his precious revenge intruded upon, Quis quickly tapped a series of commands into his console, bringing all his equipment in the haunted house up to its maximum settings. He'd just been toying with Dib and his friends so far, but he wasn't going to do that anymore if he suddenly had competition from that clown.

Time for the gloves to come off.

XXXXXXX

Weapons drawn and ready for use, Dib and the twins crept carefully down a hallway, eyes peeled for the clown. So far they hadn't seen anything, but the occasional thumping noise indicated that he was moving around somewhere nearby. Probably looking for them in return, they figured.

"See anything?" Dib asked, as they reached a corner and peered down the connecting hall.

"Nothing," Steve replied, looking down the opposite end of the hall.

"And nothing behind us," Viera added, looking back the way they'd come, "Any chance the clown just decided to leave?"

"Raarrrrggghhh!" the clown howled from somewhere further down the side hall.

"Never mind," Viera said, as she and the boys spun to face the direction the sound came from.

"Okay, get ready to blast him as soon as he shows up," Dib said, raising his gauntlets, "And then we can-ah!"

Dib cried out in surprise as a decaying arm suddenly burst out of the wall and grabbed his wrist in a vice-like grip. He slammed his free fist into it, breaking it at the elbow and forcing it to let him go… at which point dozens of more arms burst out of the walls, the floor, and even the ceiling, all writhing and grabbing in the trio's direction.

"Sure, why not?" Steve said, deadpan, before shooting the nearest arms. Viera followed suit, incinerating those nearest her, while Dib grabbed those closest to him and tore them apart, while also throwing plasma waves at those further away. Within a few minutes, they had cleared all the arms, leaving a bunch of broken and smoking stumps lining the hall. And before they could even catch their breath from that, a powerful wind suddenly came bursting down the hallway.

"Now what?!" Viera yelled, barely audible over the gale buffeting them.

In response, a mist glowing with an eerie white light came down the hall, carried by the wind. As the three of them watched, that mist swirled about in the air, soon taking on the appearance of several ghastly figures wielding axes and knives, who snarled and made threatening gestures as they floated towards the humans.

"Well, so this place is _definitely_ haunted then," Dib said, "Good to know. Anyone got any ideas? Because I wasn't counting on any ghosts here being openly hostile like this, and I don't have anything to fight them with."

"You know, seeing as they're _ghosts_ , they shouldn't be able to hurt us either," Viera said.

Naturally, she was immediately proven wrong. Screeching, the ghosts demonstrated their weapons' effectiveness on their surroundings, the axes smashing a nearby small table, and the knives slashing deep grooves into the walls.

"Oh, come on!" Viera exclaimed in annoyance, launching a fireball at a ghost, only for the attack to pass harmlessly through it, "That's just not fair!"

"Move!" Dib shouted, taking off down the hall, the twins right behind and the ghosts chasing after them. After a few minutes of this, the humans rounded a corner, and Dib spotted a door.

"Quick, in here!" he said, yanking the door open; after his friends rushed through it, he followed after, shutting the door behind him. Seconds later, the ghosts swooped around the corner and, seeing that the humans were nowhere in sight, came to a halt. As they did, they flickered briefly, before disappearing altogether as the hologram projectors creating them shut off, revealing the apparatus hidden beneath them — pairs of robotic arms holding the weapons, attached to harnesses that were hooked into a hidden track in the ceiling.

The harnesses started to retract towards the ceiling, only for the Cyborg Death Clown to suddenly round a corner. He stared blankly at the display for a moment, before shrugging and walking up to the nearest harness, ripping the ax out of its grip. The clown tested the weapon's weight, and satisfied by what he felt, continued walking in search of Dib and the twins.

The Death Clown's brain was little more than a flash-grown flesh lump that only existed as something for Zim's control mechanisms to plug into. As such, he couldn't really think beyond the commands that were transmitted to him, which right now were to find the three young humans and inflict harm on them. Therefore, all he could do was wander the halls, ax in hand, until something caught his limited attention and made it stop.

Yes, he was pretty sure he heard sounds coming from behind a nearby door. With a gleeful snarl, the clown charged towards the door and slammed the ax into it repeatedly, smashing open a large hole, which he then pressed his face against in a show of intimidation.

"Here's Johnny!" the Death Clown snarled in a barely coherent voice.

"Nope, I'm over here," Nny commented casually as he walked down the sidewalk next to the house, completely unperturbed by the crazed clown staring at him from its broken front door. The fact that he was currently dragging a half-dead body behind himself via a meat hook stabbed in-between its shoulders might have had something to do with that.

The Death Clown blinked in confusion, before snarling again as he processed that his targets weren't present. Turning away from the door, he stomped back into the depths of the house, ax still in hand as he searched for its prey.

Meanwhile, while all this was happening, Team Save Earth were standing in total darkness at the bottom of the staircase they'd run down after ducking into that door. Pulling out their flashlights, they lit up their surroundings, revealing that they were now in the house's basement, a fairly extensive space that was nevertheless cramped due to the large piles of boxes and assorted junk filling it, all covered with cobwebs and dust. There was also a rather oversized furnace taking up one end of the room, the rusted metal device looking somewhat like a gaping maw.

"And now we're in the creepy haunted house's creepy basement," Steve commented dryly, "Well, that's just great. Am I the _only_ one here who's seen a horror movie?"

"Compared to everything else up there, this doesn't look so bad, actually," Viera said, looking around, "Gross, yeah, but at least nothing's attacking us."

There was a moment of silence, the three of them looking around in anticipation, but nothing happened.

"…Huh, after today's track record, I was kinda expecting something to happen," Dib said, arching an eyebrow.

And that was when the concrete floor split open in several spots, and zombies came bursting out of the resulting holes.

"Yeah, that figures," Dib sighed, before punching the nearest zombie in the face hard enough to knock it completely back into its hole. The twins, meanwhile, blasted at the other zombies, quickly eliminating all of them. But the team didn't have more than a moment to savor this, before the furnace suddenly burst to life, spewing out a column of flames that quickly coalesced into the same screaming skull shape that Dib had seen earlier in the study. It flared, like it was rearing back, and then surged towards Dib, only for Viera to jump in front of him, amulet held out in front of herself.

The flames swirled and billowed around the amulet's magical aura, Viera gritting her teeth as she felt the energy pulse against her, before she managed to push it back. The flames snapped back like a fiery rubber band and slammed into the furnace, which blew apart into slag. As the ruined furnace melted, Viera swayed slightly, though Dib grabbed her shoulder before she could fall over.

"You alright?" Steve asked, as he ran up to his sister's side.

"I'm fine, that just took a lot out of me," she replied, shaking her head to clear it, "But I am getting really sick of this place."

"I think we can all agree on that," Dib said, starting to walk back towards the stairs, "Come on, let's see if the coast is clear. Then maybe we can see about getting out of here, and calling in backup to properly deal with everything here."

The twins happily nodded their agreement and followed Dib as he quickly made his way back towards the stairs. However, just before they could step onto the lowest stair, the entire stairwell suddenly collapsed on itself.

"What the-?" Dib said, blinking at the sudden turn of events, only to yelp in surprise as the wall next to him burst open, spewing out a stream of some kind of green slime. He and the twins jumped back, being driven further into the basement as more streams of slime started shooting out of other spots along the wall, the substance rapidly filling up the room.

"What the hell is this stuff?!" Dib yelled, as the slime quickly reached his ankles and started rising up his legs.

"Who cares?" Viera shouted back, as she jumped atop a box to momentarily get away from the rising tide, "We should be more concerned with how we get out of here before we drown in it!"

"There's a dumbwaiter over there!" Steve said, pointing towards the far wall, "Wherever it goes, it's gotta be better than this!"

The three of them slogged their way through the ever increasing amount of slime, reaching the dumbwaiter just as it the slime reached their necks. Climbing into the small space, they squeezed as much as they could to fit all at once. And as the slime started to lap at the dumbwaiter's entrance, Dib reached out and kicked the controls, triggering them and causing the dumbwaiter's doors to shut and the mechanism itself to start ascending.

A few minutes later, the dumbwaiter reached its destination and opened, the trio spilling out of it to land in a heap on the floor. Untangling themselves and looking around, they saw that they were now in a small room, which like the basement was taken up by boxes and assorted other items, coated with dust and cobwebs, with the only entrance being a set of stairs. Albeit ones that headed down, rather than up.

"Great, we've gone from creepy basement to creepy attic," Steve said, before giving his sister a look, "Anything you wanna say?"

"Nah, I'm done tempting fate for today," she replied, eyes darting around in anticipation of whatever was coming next.

"And I'm just plain done, period," Dib grumbled, rubbing his head as his frustration and anger at the situation bubbled to the forefront, "I am sick and tired of this place. I swear, if I see one more paranormal cliche in here…"

XXXXXXX

Unbeknownst to Dib, as he said those words Quis was watching with sadistic glee at seeing his self-claimed rival starting to fray from the stress. A part of the little sociopath knew he probably should have just let Team Save Earth leave already, in order to further his actual plan. But honestly, he was having too much fun tormenting them.

Still, he supposed he'd wrap it up now. With one final attack to hopefully psychologically scar them, and at the very least send them running to the Network leadership as per the plan.

Smirking, Quis entered a series of commands on his keyboard and sat back to watch the show.

XXXXXXX

As had apparently become the standard since they'd arrived in this house, Team Save Earth only had a brief respite before something new happened. By this point, they were basically expecting it.

What they weren't expecting was the sudden barrage that hit them all at once — first, a portrait of a rather disfigured-looking woman fell off the wall as the woman in question crawled partway out of the frame and started scuttling towards them like a monstrous crab. Then a pile of boxes fell aside to reveal a group of mannequins like the ones Steve had earlier, which now definitely started moving on their own as they advanced on the humans. Then, with flashes of red and white light, the demonic figure Viera had seen in the bathroom and the ghosts that the team had encountered earlier appeared, also walking threateningly towards them.

Dib and the twins huddled together, preparing for the attack…

_SMASH!_

…when the attic door was suddenly kicked off its hinges, and the Cyborg Death Clown marched up the steps, ax still in hand. Spotting the humans, the clown gave a psychotic giggle and advanced towards them, only for one of the mannequins to turn and grab him by the arm. Snarling, the clown swung his ax, cutting off the mannequin's head, which fell away in a shower of sparks.

As the humans blinked in confusion at this development, the clown went on a rampage. First, it finished dismembering the rest of the mannequins, before cutting the portrait creature clean in half. As it collapsed in a heap of wires and gears, the clown then swung the axe through the ghosts and the demon; the former vanished as their harnesses and hologram projectors fell apart, and the latter also vanished, leaving behind only the shattered pieces of a floating hologram projector.

"What the hell? They're all animatronics!" Viera exclaimed, staring in shock at the remains of the monsters.

"Think he is to?" Dib asked, gesturing to the Death Clown as he turned his attention back on them.

"Who cares? He's still trying to kill us!" Steve shouted, firing a shot from his blaster as the clown proved his point by charging them. The clown deflected the shot with his ax, only to be forced backwards as Viera launched some flames at him. As the flames died down, and before the clown could advance again, Dib charged, punching the clown in the stomach hard enough to send it flying. After skidding across the floor, the clown scrambled to his feet and grabbed for the dropped ax, but had to jump away from it as plasma bolts and fireballs rained down on the floor around it.

As the twins kept the clown at bay, Dib charged his gauntlets and waited for his moment to strike. When the clown reared back and covered his face to protect himself from a wall of flames, Dib took his opportunity. Charging, Dib leapt through the air and punched the clown again, this time in the chest, and with the plasma providing enough of an extra power to the hit that the clown flew through the air, eventually slamming into the dumbwaiter. He lay there in a crumbled heap, only half-conscious, and before he could recover, the damaged dumbwaiter gave way, falling down its chute and taking the clown with it.

With the clown out of sight, Team Save Earth took a moment to finally stop and regain their breath. Then, they turned to face the ruined animatronic monsters that they'd been dealing with all day.

"So, these things were fake the whole time?" Steve asked, prodding the remains of one of the mannequins, "Wow. Who'd go to this much trouble for such an elaborate fake?"

"And what was the deal with the clown?" Viera added, "Was that another robot that went berserk and turned on the others, or just some nutjob who randomly showed up here?"

"I don't know, and right now I don't care," Dib sighed, sounding utterly exhausted, "Let's just get out of here and report this place as a fraud to the Network. They can clean it up and investigate it instead of us."

The twins were all too happy to agree with this, and with that, the three quickly made their way downstairs and to the front door, leaving the house behind them as fast as they could. All the while completely oblivious to how they'd just foiled someone's plan without even realizing it.

XXXXXXX

"Damnit!" Quis snarled, punching his desk, "This isn't how it was supposed to go! They're supposed to think it's legitimate, not know that it's a fake! How am I supposed to frame them for fraud now?!"

Slamming both fists onto the desk this time, Quis breathed heavily, ramping up for another rant. However, he stopped short as a sudden thought occurred to him, and a manic smirk appeared on his face.

"Wait, that's it!" he exclaimed, "I'll just go down there and remove all the evidence before the Network can investigate. Then it'll look like Dib and his friends made the whole thing up! It may not get them kicked out, but they'll at least take another hit to their credibility."

With that, Quis bolted out of his room. Before long, he arrived at his fake haunted house, with a cart full of tools being dragged behind him. Kicking open the front door and entering, he looked around, mildly frantic.

"Okay, do I start at the attic and work my way down to the basement? Or the other way around?" he muttered, "Crap, and I don't even know how long I have until the investigators get here. I need to… huh?"

Quis trailed off as the basement door opened, and the badly battered form of the Cyborg Death Clown crawled out. Spotting Quis, the clown growled slightly, before collapsing on his face, seemingly passing out.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about this guy," Quis muttered darkly, "Stupid technicolor freak. I don't know you came from, but it's your fault my whole plan got ruined!"

Feeling a need to vent, Quis grabbed a large wrench out of his cart and tossed it at the clown, chuckling as it hit him in the head… and then to his surprise, a surge of electricity ran through the clown, who started floating in the air.

"What?"

" _CDC-Unit-001 compromised,_ " the clown said in a robotic voice, " _Initiating self-destruct to remove all evidence. Goodbye._ "

"Oh, cr-" was all Quis got out, before the clown suddenly exploded in a flash of light.

Some time later, Quis regained consciousness with a groan. Forcing his eyes open, he looked down at himself and saw that he was remarkably unharmed, aside from being a little roughed up and covered in soot. Turning his gaze to his surroundings, he then saw that the house was a smoldering ruin, pieces of his equipment and animatronics scattered about… and several people in black suits surrounding him, with hover-screens displaying the senior SEN members floating about them.

"Oh good, you're awake, Agent Spider Monkey," Agent Darkbootie said, eyes narrowing at him, "Then you can explain yourself."

"Er…" Quis stammered, trying to grasp for something they'd believe and coming up blank, "It's not what it looks like!"

"Really?" Agent Tunaghost asked, sarcasm dripping off her voice, "Because we just found you in the ruins of a fake haunted house Mothman's team was investigating — after getting an anonymous tip containing an article that's clearly forged since we can't find it on the site it's supposedly from — and not only that, you're surrounded by the tools needed to perpetrate such a fraud."

"It's pretty clear that you're responsible for this fraud," Agent Nessie commented, "What, were you going to set Dib and his friends up to investigate this Scooby-Doo nonsense, and then make them look responsible for it? And try to destroy all evidence of it having happened when that failed? That's just low."

"I didn't- that's not- that big-headed freak doesn't even deserve to be in the Network!" Quis snapped, pent-up anger bursting free at the confrontation, not even bothering to try and defend himself.

"Hey, say what you will about how annoying Dib is, at least he's never faked anything," Agent Disembodied Head said.

"Succulently put," Darkbootie said, glaring at Quis, "This is a blatant violation of the Swollen Eyeball Network's code of conduct. Therefore, I move that Agent Spider Monkey be banned from the Network effective immediately."

"Seconded," Tunaghost piped in, as Quis' eyes bugged out in shock.

"I think we're all agreed here," Nessie said, Disembodied Head nodding his affirmation.

"WHAT?!" Quis screamed, "You can't do this!"

"It's done," Darkbootie said, "Arnold Quis, codename Agent Spider Monkey, you are hereby banned from the Swollen Eyeball Network. Your membership will be immediately revoked, you will be blocked from our message boards, and you will be barred from all our facilities."

"Be seeing you never!" Nessie quipped.

Quis could only sit there, stunned silent, watching as the holo-screens floated away and the agents physically present walked after them. It was only after they were all gone did he finally come out of it, eye twitching before he gave a primal scream.

"No! No, no, no! That did not just fucking happen! This was supposed to happen to Dib, not me!" he snarled, face twisting in rage as that thought processed, " _Dib_. This is all _his_ fault! If he weren't around, I wouldn't have had to do any of this!"

For just a second, the concept that Dib couldn't be blamed as he'd had no way of knowing of Quis' involvement crossed his mind, but Quis' anger quickly overwhelmed that. He needed someone to hold responsible, and between his instability and narcissism, the guilty party was never going to be himself.

"No matter what it takes, Dib, you will pay for this!" Quis screamed to the sky, as he psychotically forged a vendetta against someone who barely knew he existed, "I swear it! Some day, I'll take everything from you. I swear, you. Will. _PAY!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you go, my first real horror-themed chapter. And ironically enough, when I first wrote it on FFN, it got published in October; totally unintentional, but worked out nicely.
> 
> Also, sorry about the exposition-heavy intro to Quis, but I couldn't think of a better way to do it. And before anyone complains that he's a flat and obnoxious character… well, that's the point. Dude's basically an internet troll, the type of guy who insults other people's work without contributing anything worthwhile of his own. I just dialed it up a bit.
> 
> Don't expect Quis to be popping up again too soon, but be aware he'll be sticking around this season.
> 
> Plus comment!


	6. Infernal Inspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We shift focus off Earth for a bit, to see in detail how Miz's message is affecting the Irken Empire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are folks, the most recent chapter in this series. And this is a good point to catch up at, as it's one of my overall favorite chapters, both because of the world-building it provides and because it sets the stage for some later developments I'm looking forward to even more.
> 
> Before we get into it, however, I'd like to once again extend special thanks to my good friend SaintHeartwing (or ngrey651 as he's known on this site), who gave me permission to use several of his OCs in this story (in addition to the previously used Senior), which I'm going to start doing here.
> 
> That said, read on!

The Irken Armada had returned to Irk itself for resupplying and crew rotation. After all, even mighty Irken soldiers required breaks from the tedium of long-term deployment in space, so except for those in key positions, most soldiers and other crew members would periodically be shipped off in shifts for shore leave or other assignments, while fresh troops would then be assigned to replace them. And of course, this had to happen in even larger numbers for the huge crew of the _Massive_ , which was the crown jewel of job assignments.

At the moment, the _Massive_ was docked to one of the artificial rings orbiting Irk, shuttlecraft and teleportation beams moving between the docking port and the planet's surface, as outgoing crew members left and new ones came in with the fresh supplies. On the bridge, the Tallest floated by the main viewscreen, watching this all going on. Well, Red was; Purple was more interested in the soda he was drinking.

"I'm bored. When are we going to finish here so we can go back to blowing stuff up?" Purple asked, Red rolling his eyes at the question.

"You _know_ this takes all day, so stop whining about it," he said, "Can't you just stop and appreciate the beauty of how well organized all this is?"

"No, cause unlike you I know how to have fun, and this isn't it," Purple replied, "C'mon, you didn't used to be this uptight. You used to be all about shooting lasers, now you just want to go over checklists and stuff."

"Hey, I still shoot lasers at stuff!" Red protested, "Remember how I used all those Service Drones as target practice last week? I just happen to take our responsibilities seriously!"

"But only when it doesn't involve doing paperwork, funnily enough," Senior commented from his console.

"Nobody asked you!" Red snapped at him, before turning back to his argument with Purple.

"You know, one of these days, they're going to chuck you out the airlock if you keep snarking at them like that," the yellow-eyed Communications Officer at the console next to Senior commented, keeping her voice down so as not to be overheard by the Tallest.

"Nah, it'll be fine, Xeil," Senior commented, waving a hand dismissively, "I've known these two a long time, I know how far I can push their buttons before it becomes dangerous."

Anything Xeil was going to say in response to that was cut off as a beep sounded from her console. Looking down at the alert flashing on the screen, her eyes widened, and she gestured for Senior to look at it. Looking to the screen, Senior's own eyes also widened as he saw the displayed message.

"Uh, my Tallest?" he called out, "We just received a message from the surface. The Control Brains are requesting an immediate audience with you."

Purple spat out a mouthful of soda, spraying it all over the viewscreen, while Red snapped around to stare at Senior in surprise and quite a bit of worry. Everyone knew that when the Control Brains "requested" things, it was really an order, and that they didn't call meetings out of the blue for no reason.

"What did you do?!" Red snapped at his co-ruler.

"What? Why are you assuming this is my fault?" Purple asked, scowling at his partner.

"Because I know I didn't do anything to anger the Brains!" Red said, before rubbing his eyes and taking a calming breath, "Okay, look, arguing about this is pointless, so let's just head down there and find out what's going on."

"Fine," Purple said, petulantly tossing his soda over his shoulder and letting what was left in it splatter against what had been sprayed over the screen. Red frowned at the mess, but didn't comment on it as Purple started to hover out of the room.

"Someone call down to have a shuttle ready to take us to the surface," he ordered, before pointing at a pair of nearby Table-Headed Service Drones, "And you two! Clean up this mess!"

The drones bowed in deference, not daring to raise their heads again until they heard the bridge doors shut behind the Tallest. Then they straightened up and made their way over to the viewscreen, one of them openly scowling as they did so.

"Why should we clean this up?" he muttered, "We're Service Drones, not janitors!"

"Don't complain, Bob," his purple-eyed companion said, "You know it won't change anything. Best to just keep your head down and follow orders. Or do you _want_ to get shot into another sun?"

"Urgh, don't even joke about that, Maht," Bob replied with a shudder, "I swear I only survived that because Zim's ability to survive anything rubbed off on me by proximity. But still, doesn't it ever bother you that we have to do _all_ the dirty work, even the stuff that's not officially our duties, just because the Tallest feel like it?"

"Yeah, but what are you gonna do? That's just how things are," Maht shrugged, "All we can do is our best to do our role in the Empire, and keep everything running smoothly and everyone happy."

"Hmmph, you're a rug, you know that?" Bob asked as they reached the screen, "Your whole life philosophy is to let everyone walk all over you."

"Maybe, but at least I'm a _helpful_ rug!" Maht said with a laugh, grabbing some napkins off his table and getting to work using them to soak up the spilled soda. Bob made a noncommittal grunt in response, as he set about helping scrub the screen as best he could.

But his scowl didn't fade any as he scrubbed.

_Tallest Tower, Apex City, Shortly After_

In the exact center of Irk's largest continent, Zenith, lay the Irkens' capital city, Apex. And at the exact center of this sprawling megapolis loomed the 1000-metre-high Tallest Tower, the home of the Almighty Tallest when on Irk. And it was to here that Red and Purple now returned, their shuttle setting down on the roof, disgorging the pair and their small honor guard, who then made their towards a nearby elevator.

Several minutes later, the elevator completed its descent, depositing the Tallest in the heavily-defended heart of the tower. Emerging into a hallway lined with defense turrets and mech soldiers, which quickly scanned the Tallest and stood down to let them pass, Red waved at the guards to stay back by the elevator. Not bothering to look at them to see if they'd acknowledged the order, he and Purple advanced, passing the defenses and through the blast doors at the end of the hall into the chamber beyond.

The room was roughly the size of a small amphitheater, though its exact dimensions were hard to tell, as most of it was darkened, with only a spotlight shining on the center of the room providing any lighting. Though that said, the numerous red eyes of the Control Brains shined in the darkness, highlighting their outlines where they were lined along the walls, looking down on the chamber.

These were not like the predictive models that mapped out the fates of smeets in the Academy, or the bureaucratic models that ran military worlds like Devastis, or the (now irrevocably insane) judicial models of Judgementia. These were the administrative models, the true rulers and collective nerve center of the Irken Empire, the power behind the throne. As such, they were the only entities to whom even the Tallest bowed, and thus Red and Purple came to a stop in the spotlight before them with some trepidation.

"We've come as instructed," Red announced, speaking for both of them, "How may we serve the Empire?"

"Welcome, Tallest Red and Purple," the centermost Control Brain responded, as several holo-screens popped to life, all displaying images of a familiar masked figure, "You are here regarding concerns that we have regarding the renegade codenamed 'Miz'."

"Is that all?" Purple asked, sounding relieved, "I thought this was something serious."

"This _is_ serious," a Control Brain on the left spoke up, "This Defective has been spreading treasonous slander against the Empire's very structure for months, inspiring rebellious acts by others."

"A handful of riots and minor crimes scattered across the Outer Territories," Red said with a shrug, "Nothing to get too concerned with."

"We disagree," a third Control Brain, this one on the far right, commented, "Especially in light of recent facts that have come to our attention. Chief Consular Darth, step forward."

The Tallest stiffened at that command, watching as a figure stepped into the light, having previously been hiding in the shadows. Which was an impressive act in itself, given that he was an above-average height figure wearing the bright white robes of a Consular. A color that was matched by his eyes, which seemed to drill right into the Tallest despite the fact that they couldn't actually see anything.

This was Darth, the leader of the Consulars. An error in his genetic coding when he'd been in the birthing tube had not only left him totally blind, but had also caused his body to reject all attempts at implanting replacements. The only reason he hadn't been terminated as a smeet was because Tallest Miyuki had taken sympathy on him and had him spared; this was an investment that had paid off, when it was discovered that Darth's mutations had also caused him to develop powerful psychic abilities. Like all Irkens with these relatively rare gifts, he'd been recruited into the Consulars, his skills and efficiency quickly advancing him through the ranks. Now he was arguably the most powerful Irken in the Empire next to the Tallest themselves, and being in his presence frankly creeped them both out.

"My Tallest," Darth greeted, hands clasped at his waist as he gave a respectful bow, "A pleasure to _see_ you again."

"Yeah, you too," Red said, gritting his teeth slightly.

"Makes the same stupid joke every time," Purple muttered, shuddering slightly as Darth's blank eyes seemed to sweep over him.

"Chief Consular, share with the Tallest the report you gave us earlier," the center Control Brain ordered.

"Of course," Darth said. Waving a hand, he caused the holo-screens to change, now depicting footage of riots on several planets by Irkens in Miz costumes.

"Since practically the beginning of Miz's broadcasts, acts of defiance and rebellion by members of the lower ranks have sprung up across the Empire," he explained, as the screens changed to show several Irkens confined to cells, "My agents have apprehended several leaders among this growing movement and interrogated them, and the intelligence they've gathered has painted a rather disturbing picture."

"Disturbing how?" Purple asked, still not seeing what the big deal was.

"This movement is growing more organized," Darth explained, "These dissenters are coming together in cells, which are communicating with each other through the Dark Irk-Net."

"Why do we even still let that thing exist?" Red grumbled.

"The Dark Irk-Net is maintained on independently operated servers outside of our control network, and run by specialized heavily-encrypted software," one of the Control Brains stated, "As such, it is impossible to monitor more that a small portion of it at any time."

"Thankfully, the information recovered by our interrogations have helped crack down somewhat on this activity," Darth continued, "However, this has also led to the rather alarming discovery that these cells are popping up throughout the Empire, not just in the Outer Territories. Most disturbing of all, it has been rumored that there are even Miz devotees among the Armada."

"That's ridiculous!" Red exclaimed, "The Armada is composed of our best soldiers outside of the Invaders! There's no way that the cream of the Empire's crop could fall for this Defective's nonsense!"

"Very few of the dissidents apprehended so far have been soldiers, my Tallest," Darth said, "Most have been technicians, engineers, service drones, and other low-ranked Irkens. And there are plenty of those maintaining the Armada. The chances of infiltration are not below the level of feasibility."

"An assessment with which we are in agreement," the center Control Brain announced, "As such, we have concluded that a contingent of Consulars personally led by Chief Darth will be assigned to the _Massive_ for the foreseeable future. From there, they will investigate any sign of Miz insurgents onboard the ship itself or the rest of the Armada, and purge any that are found. You will provide all required aid in this matter."

"Don't we get any say in this?" Purple asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"No," the center Control Brain responded firmly, "Never forget, that while you may lead the Empire, _we_ rule it. And we will not allow thousands of years of power and authority to be threatened by a Defective too cowardly to show his face stirring up unrest among those who refuse to know their place. You _will_ aid Chief Darth in any and every way he requires for this investigation. Is that understood?"

"Perfectly," Red answered, before turning to look at Darth, "When should we expect you?"

"I already have a handpicked team ready to go, my Tallest," Darth replied, "I merely need to fetch them, and we can join you on the trip back to the _Massive_."

"Fine, meet us on the roof and we'll go," Red said. He and Purple bowed to the Control Brains, and then turned to exit the room. Psychically "watching" them leave, Darth waited until the doors shut behind them before turning back to the Control Brains.

"Their petulance and ego is likely to hinder my investigation, even if only unintentionally," he said, not bothering to even fake any respect for the Tallest now that they were absent.

"You will have our full authority in this matter," one of the Control Brains said, "If the Tallest impede you in any way, you will be able to override them."

"Just remember, whether you can take them alive or must kill them, do whatever is necessary to eliminate these traitors," the central Control Brain ordered, "We must purge this infection before it spreads too far, no matter what."

"By your command," Darth replied, bowing deeply before exiting the chamber as well.

_The Massive, Shortly After_

The _Massive's_ hanger bays were bustling with activity as the resupply and crew rotation carried on, shuttles and other smaller craft lining up to carry away those crew members who were leaving, after depositing their replacements. Among those new arrivals were several regiments of soldiers, who had gathered before a temporarily-erected platform in the football stadium-sized primary hanger to be greeted by their new commanding officer.

"Alright, listen up maggots!" shouted the moderately-tall emerald-eyed female standing on the platform wearing a maroon uniform with a cape and hood, "My name is Commander Wiyn, chief security officer for the _Massive_. And now that you've been assigned here, your _c'hortas_ belong to me! Is that understood?"

"Ma'am, yes ma'am!" the soldiers chorused.

"And this is my second-in-command, Lieutenant Mook," Wiyn continued, gesturing to the red-eyed male in body armor standing at attention at the foot of the platform, "Any orders from him should be treated as coming from me, just as any orders from me should be treated as coming directly from the Tallest. Is _that_ understood?"

"Ma'am, yes ma'am!" the soldiers chorused again.

"Good, I'm glad we understand each other," Wiyn said, "Being assigned to the _Massive_ and being allowed to be a part of the spearhead of our race's rightful conquest of the universe is a privilege. For whatever reason, you have all been decreed worthy of such an honor, so I suppose you must all be decently skilled. But just so we're clear, I run a tight ship, to ensure we all live up to the glory of the Empire. So if I think any of you are falling short of my standards, I will not hesitate to dropkick you into the nearest star!"

Wiyn paused to take a breath, but before she could keep ranting, her attention was diverted as what she recognized as the Tallest's personal shuttle swept back into the hanger and landed. Perking up, she hopped off the platform, smoothing out her uniform upon hitting the floor.

"I'll be right back, Mook. Keep everyone here in the meantime," she ordered.

"Yes, Commander!" Mook replied with a crisp salute.

Marching over towards the shuttle, which the Tallest and their honor guard were already disembarking, Wiyn was already preening as she prepared to meet her leaders and report on how expertly she was handling the rotation… only to freeze mid-step, eyes widening, as Darth and a dozen other Consulars stepped off of the shuttle after them.

Everyone else in the hanger likewise froze and stared in shock as they noticed the new arrivals. Consulars had never come aboard the _Massive_ before, and beyond that it was simply rare to see them in such large numbers, usually being lone agents. As such, seeing so many them here and now was disconcerting, to say the least.

After a few moments, however, Wiyn regained her composure. Forcing a calm look onto her face, she continued marching until she was standing in front of the Tallest, snapping a fist to her chest in salute and bowing her head.

"Welcome back, my Tallest," she greeted, "The resupply is well underway, and I was just overseeing the induction of the newest additions to the ship's military contingent."

"Excellent work, Commander," Red complimented offhandedly, clearly not really paying attention. Wiyn frowned at that, but cleared her throat and continued on.

"And may I ask why… _they_ are here?" she asked, scowling at the Consulars.

"We're here to seek out and apprehend any followers of Miz hidden here among the Armada," Darth answered.

"That masked Defective from those transmissions?" Wiyn asked, incredulous, "That's ridiculous, I run the tightest security in the Empire outside of Tallest Tower! There's no way anyone here could be buying into that treason without me knowing about it."

"I'm glad to hear you say so, Commander," Darth replied with a slight smirk, "As your security forces will of course be our logical first choice to investigate."

"WHAT?!" Wiyn exclaimed, eyes bugging out, "How dare you, you blind freak?! I ought to-!"

"That's enough!" Red snapped, "Remember, Commander, that the Chief Consular outranks you. You will show him all due respect and obedience."

Wiyn grit her teeth, both at the reprimand and being reminded that a being she saw as beneath her was actually her superior. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she swallowed her pride and bowed her head as slightly as possible towards Darth.

"My apologies, Chief Consular," she forced herself to say, "I simply take great pride in my work."

"No offense taken, Commander. Your passion and dedication do you credit," Darth replied so calmly that Wiyn was sure he was mocking her, "And to be fair, we'll begin with the new additions before moving on to the more long-term members of the security force."

Not trusting herself to say anything else, Wiyn merely nodded, before turning on her heel and marching over to the waiting troops. The Tallest watched her go, before turning to look at Darth and the other Consulars.

"Well, she wasn't happy," Purple commented dryly, "Good luck with all that."

"I take it you can handle organizing and carrying out all the interrogations on your own?" Red asked.

"Of course, my Tallest, no need to trouble yourself. I'll let you know if I require anything," Darth replied, bowing his head slightly. The Tallest nodded and hovered off without another look, while Darth gestured to his Consulars, who began walking with him after Wiyn.

And all the while, word of their arrival was already spreading like wildfire, as those present in the hanger began contacting others aboard the ship.

_Lower Levels of the Massive, Some Time Later_

Everyone knew and accepted that the _Massive_ was the size of a small planet. However, what people often overlooked about this was the simple fact that a ship of such size had vast areas that were rarely if ever used, entire sections that only existed to add space or provide room for redundant systems equipment to run through, and therefore didn't require a regular crew presence. Which just meant these levels were the perfect place to hide aboard the ship.

This last thought was the one currently occupying the mind of Table-Headed Service Drone Bob as he made his way down a corridor on one of these levels. Walking at a brisk pace, he shot nervous glances up and down the hallway, which was only partially lit due to the number of failed light fixtures that had never been fixed, due to years of neglect. As expected, there was no one in sight, but he could never be too careful.

Finally, he reached a particular door, indistinguishable from every other on the level except for a small bit of graffiti on the bottom corner: stylized Irken symbols for N, I, and O, forming a rough triangle. Approaching this door, Bob glanced around one last time, and then reached out to deliver two swift knocks to the door, paused for a few seconds, and then knocked three more times just as swiftly. In response, a small hatch in the center of the door opened, revealing a pair of dark red eyes, which looked at Bob inquisitively for a moment before withdrawing, after which the hatch shut and the door opened.

Stepping through the doorway, Bob looked around to take in the room as the door was shut behind him by the bulky male operating it. It was a relatively large storage closet, which had been repurposed into a small lounge; several large crates were being used as tables, with rickety and battered stools surrounding each. And seated at those stools were a few dozen Irkens of various castes, mostly Service Drones and janitors, but also engineers, technicians, scientists, and even a few soldiers.

"Is everyone here, Garuk?" Bob asked the doorman, glancing over his shoulder as he spoke.

"Yes sir, you're the last to arrive," Garuk nodded as he secured the door.

"Okay then," Bob said, walking over to the centermost makeshift table and hopping up to stand atop an empty stool, "I hereby call this meeting to order."

"Why in the six hells of Vort are there Consulars onboard?!" a technician exclaimed, several others voicing similar concerns, at a similar volume. It took a few minutes for Bob to calm down the resulting noise.

"Look, I'm just as worried as you all are, but we need to keep our heads here!" Bob shouted over the din, which died down as the crowd started listening to him, "Now, as far as I can tell from what I've heard, the Consulars are only here investigating rumors of NIO activity aboard the _Massive_. They don't actually know what we're up to."

"They're _psychic!_ How hard will it be for them to find something?" a janitor called out.

"Yes, they're psychic, but they're not perfect!" Bob countered, "First of all, they need physical contact to actually read minds with any clarity, so if you can avoid that you'll be fine. Also, I hear that if you can focus your thoughts really hard on singular thoughts unrelated to what you're trying to keep secret, they can't get past that, so that's a technique that might work. And besides all of that, we're all low-rank, they don't see us as a threat."

"Hey, not all of us are maintenance and service," a solider pointed out, "Some of us are actually in the security section, and according to Commander Wiyn they're going to be interrogating the rest of us once they're done with the new arrivals. And even if they somehow don't catch _us_ , they're going to interrogate _everyone_ aboard, which means sooner or later one of us is gonna get caught, and then we're all screwed!"

"That is _not_ going to happen, not as long as we stay calm and united," Bob proclaimed, only to be barraged with shouts.

"Stop telling us to be calm!"

"Yeah, we should be doing something!"

"Why'd we even make you cell leader? You don't do anything!"

"Really? _Really?!_ " Bob snapped, the fury in his voice immediately silencing the crowd, "You're all questioning my commitment to the cause? _Me?_ The guy the Tallest shot into a sun so they wouldn't have to pay up on a bet they forced me into in the first place? And then, to add insult to injury, when I barely survive that and manage to get back to the _Massive_ , they act like the whole thing never happened! Like it meant nothing to them!"

By now, Bob was full-on ranting. The others watched, transfixed, as he hopped from his stool to land atop a crate and start pacing, gesturing wildly with his arms as he went.

"I always knew that those of us who are short, or low-ranked, or both, were treated like _caragash_ , but I always just accepted that that was the way things were supposed to be," Bob said, "Then I heard Miz's broadcasts, and he opened my eyes. Why should we bow down to those who just happen to be taller than us? Why should they get to laze on top, doing whatever they feel like, when those of us who do the actual hard work are stuck licking their boots? I realized then, we keep this Empire functioning for the Invaders and the Tallest, we should have a fair say in how things are done! So don't ever question whether or not I'm dedicated to our mission!"

Finally finishing, Bob came to a stop, panting for breath. The crowd, meanwhile, shifted awkwardly for a few moments in the face of his impassioned speech, before someone finally chose to speak up.

"So, what _are_ we going to do?" an engineer asked. This snapped Bob out of his post-rant daze; he shook himself off and composed himself, before answering.

"What we're doing here is too important for the cause as a whole," he said, "We can't let our work be compromised. So, for the time being that means trying to protect our thoughts, but as a longer term plan… well, accidents happen all the time, don't they?"

"What, you're suggesting we _kill_ the Consulars?" someone asked, "How are we supposed to do that?"

"I have a idea, but it's going to be a bit tricky to pull off," Bob said, "So everyone listen carefully…"

_Massive Cafeteria, Same Time_

As to be expected from both the size of the _Massive's_ crew and the Irken race's love for stuffing their faces, the cafeteria took up an entire level of the ship. There was a central food court that was nearly the same size as the primary hanger bay, with a series of smaller lounges and rec rooms taking up the rest of the space. In one of these rooms, Senior was seated at a mid-sized table, joined by a number of other Irkens, of various heights and ranks.

"I call this meeting of the Alien Cultural Appreciation Club to order," Senior said, looking around the table, "So, anyone got anything new?"

While several of the others made sounds of affirmation and started shuffling through their PAKs to pull out various objects, Senior took a moment to swell in pride at this little gathering. It had all started several months ago, during a stopover at a refueling system, when he had visited a local black market to discreetly pick up some books smuggled from Earth that he had previously ordered, and bumped into several other crew members also visiting the market. As it turned out, there were quite a few Irkens aboard the _Massive_ who had taken an interest in human culture as word of Zim's exploits spread, and who had started paying smugglers to bring them things from Earth.

Knowing that there were others who shared his interests, Senior had quietly reached out to organize them. After all, _technically_ , trading in and possessing cultural artifacts of lesser races was forbidden, but it wasn't a rule that was strictly enforced. Hell, the Tallest themselves liked to partake in Earth-made snacks and video games; if it hadn't meant being anywhere close to Zim, they probably would have invaded the planet a long time ago just for those. As it was, they just let the smugglers bring things to them and looked the other way regarding others doing the same, leaving just enough legal wriggle room for Senior's club to operate openly, much to the annoyance of certain more xenophobic officers…

Realizing he'd let his thoughts wander, Senior shook his head and turned back to the table, where the other club members had pulled out their various bits of paraphernalia. Looking it all over, he nodded in approval before gesturing to a green-eyed male with the modified PAK of a medic.

"Jayd, you go first. What have you got?" Senior asked. In response, the medic slid a stack of slightly-weathered comic books across the tabletop so everyone else could see them better.

"Well, it cost a bit more than I would have liked, but my contacts were able to track down all those Silver Age issues of Green Lantern missing from my collection," Jayd said, smiling proudly.

"Lame," commented a red-eyed female in the red-and-black uniform of an Elite Soldier, earning an annoyed glare from Jayd.

"Shove off, Dite, I know you like comics too," he said defensively.

"Yeah, but not those happy-sappy 'good guy wins with barely any effort' plots," Dite replied, "I prefer Watchmen or Punisher or other anti-hero stuff. Give me dark and gritty over camp any day."

"Yet you didn't like _Dawn of Justice_ when we got a copy of it," Xeil pointed out as she sipped a soda.

"…I said dark and gritty, not nonsensical bloody messes," Dite said, grimacing in disgust.

"Well excuse me for liking a little hope and brightness," Jayd sniffed back, before turning to look at Senior, "What about you, Boss?"

"Honestly, I'll always lean towards more optimistic stories… but every now and then I need to watch some mindless violence just to let off some steam," Senior admitted reluctantly, causing Dite to smirk gloatingly; seeking to prevent a fight, he then continued, "And on that note, here's _my_ latest buy."

Reaching into his PAK, Senior pulled out a lacquered wooden box, and flipped it open. Everyone else at the table blinked in confusion at the sight of a pair of revolvers, well-maintained and recently polished from the look of them.

"Ooh, shiny!" an orange-eyed female wearing Guard armor said, grinning widely as she reached for the guns, only for Senior to lightly slap her hand away.

"Uh-uh, Peech, you know the rules," Senior reprimanded her, "When it comes to other people's stuff, look don't touch."

"I can't help it! I see shiny things, and I need to have them," Peech protested, "Why do you think I have so many bottle caps and coins crammed into my PAK storage?"

"Cough-klepto-cough!" Xeil fake coughed into her fist, earning a mild glare from Peech and laughs from everyone else.

"I'm just surprised to see you with guns," Maht commented from his own spot at the table, "I thought you were a pacifist?"

"I don't like using guns, but I can still admire them aesthetically," Senior replied, "And also- ah, _caragash_."

Surprised by Senior's sudden shift to resigned cursing, the others turned to follow his gaze, and they all quietly groaned as they saw Wiyn stomping into the room. She didn't appear to have noticed them, instead making her way towards a soda machine against the far wall.

"Well, there goes the good mood," Peech muttered.

"Nobody move, and maybe she won't notice us," Jayd said hopefully. Unfortunately, that hope was almost immediately dashed as Wiyn happened to glance over and notice them. The glare already present on her face deepened, and after taking a chug of her soda, she marched over to stand next to their table.

"Well, if it isn't the Contraband Club," she said dryly, "I almost have to admire the nerve you have to flaunt this illegal garbage in the open like this."

"Strictly speaking, this so-called contraband is frowned upon, not illegal," Senior said with a shrug, "And don't let the size of this club's active membership fool you, Wiyn — if you arrested everyone onboard the _Massive_ who liked collecting alien memorabilia, you'd be arresting probably a quarter of the crew. The Tallest included."

"Don't rub it in," Wiyn growled, "And that's _Commander_ Wiyn to you."

"You do realize that by comparative rank positions, you and I are equal, right?" Senior asked, arching an antenna, "So technically, I don't _have_ to be as formal with you."

"She doesn't care," Peech cut in before Wiyn could say anything, "She just likes the ego boost that comes from hearing her title and getting reminded how high-ranked she is."

Wiyn turned to face Peech, the others awkwardly shifting in their chairs at the intensity of the glares the two were giving each other.

"Smart remarks like that are the reason I demoted you from my personal squad to door guard," Wiyn remarked with a sneer.

"Really? I thought it was because I didn't kiss your _c'horta_ as well as Mook does," Peech replied, earning a few chuckles from the others, which died down quickly as Wiyn turned her glare on them. Seeing that this situation was risking blowing out of proportion, Senior stepped back in to retake control.

"Look, Wiyn, the point is, we're not outright breaking any rules," he said firmly, "So why don't you just let us get back to enjoying our breaks, and you can go bother someone else?"

"I think he makes a fine point, Commander," a familiar voice suddenly spoke up, causing Wiyn to jump. Turning, she found Darth standing behind her, arms crossed and a slight frown on his face.

"When'd you get here?" she asked, blinking in confusion.

"A few moments ago, while you were needlessly badgering this group," he replied, before turning to nod at Senior, "Hello Nick."

"Darth. It's been a while," Senior said with an amused grin, "Which also means it's been a while since anyone used my actual name, now that I think about it. Pretty sure you're the only one who still does."

"You two know each other?" Dite asked, looking between them in surprise.

"Yeah, we go way back," Senior said with a shrug, as if him personally knowing the head of the Empire's secret police was no big deal.

"What do you mean, 'needlessly badgering' them?" Wiyn asked, ignoring the others' byplay, "I'd think you of all people wouldn't tolerate Irkens wasting their time on filthy pieces of _skaatel_ cultures."

"Why? My job is to preserve the Empire's stability and order. As long as it doesn't lead towards treason, I see no harm in Irkens indulging their curiosity about other species," Darth stated.

"But it's a pointless distraction from dedicating ourselves to our proper place in the Empire!" Wiyn protested, "And what's so interesting about other cultures? Irken culture is the pinnacle of perfection!"

"Perfection? Heh, that reminds me of something I heard once," Darth mused, "Striving for perfection leads to constant improvement. But the belief that you're already perfect leads only to stagnation."

"Oh please. Where you'd hear that idiotic nonsense?" Wiyn asked with a scowl.

"From Tallest Miyuki, actually. It was one of her favorite sayings," Darth replied smugly, as Wiyn's eyes widened and she paled slightly. After all, one doesn't just insult the memory of a past Tallest, least of all the most beloved one of all time; it was simply unacceptable.

"Er, well, okay. Carry on then," Wiyn stuttered, before quickly beating a hasty retreat towards the exit. The others watched her go, smirks and chuckles emerging amongst them in response to her rapid departure.

"You guys have no idea how satisfying that was for me," Peech commented happily.

"I dunno, I'm pretty sure we've all had to deal with her breathing down our necks at some point or another," Jayd said.

"Yeah, but none of you have ever had to serve directly under her and have to deal with her all day everyday," Peech replied, shuddering slightly at the memories, "She's a perfectionist freak. If any of us had so much as a scruff mark on our armor, she'd make us clean the toilets with a toothbrush!"

"Which toilets?" Xeil asked, morbidly curious.

" _All_ of them!" Peech exclaimed, throwing her arms up in disgust, "Do you guys have any idea how many toilets there are on a ship this big?!"

"989,975," Maht answered offhandedly. When everyone else stared at him incredulously, he shrugged and said, "I used to be a janitor before I was re-encoded as a Table Head. Take my word for it."

"Okay…" Senior said after a moment of awkward silence, before shaking it off and turning back to Darth, "So, Darth, how's that investigation going along?"

"I suppose I should point out that I can't go into details on an active case… but truthfully, aside from some slight grumblings of the type common among members of the lower ranks, we haven't found anything remotely treasonous," Darth admitted with a shrug, "So far, there's looking to be no sign of actual Miz-related activity aboard this ship. But, it's still early — we've only just gotten started on the security forces, and there's still plenty of other crew members to get through after that."

Anything that anyone had to say in response to that was preempted as Maht's PAK started beeping. Pulling a communicator out of it and checking the message, he sighed, before shaking it off and plastering his usual cheerful demeanor back on.

"Sorry guys, I've got to go. Tallest Purple wants all the Table Heads in his quarters for something," he said. Putting his stuff back in his PAK and strapping his table back onto his head, he nodded at the others before waddling off.

"Yeah, we should probably all be getting back to work," Senior said, also getting up from the table, "Darth, I guess I'll see you around."

"I'm sure I'll be seeing all of you at some point," Darth said, glancing over the table before turning and walking out of the room.

"…That was creepy as hell," Dite spoke for everyone after Darth was gone, no one having been willing to leave until he was out of sight.

"I am not looking forward to whenever it's my turn for an interrogation," Peech commented, "I mean, I've got nothing to hide, but still."

Most of the others made sounds of agreement with that, though Senior still seemed unperturbed.

"If you guys haven't done anything wrong, you've got nothing to worry about. Just remember that," he said as he also exited. His apparently genuine confidence was rather reassuring, and the others were able to feel a little relieved as they all also went off back to their various duties, putting their worries about the Consulars behind them.

_Upper Levels of the Massive, Short Time Later_

Darth strode down the hallway, a lifetime of experience allowing him to move freely and without worry of bumping into anything, even as his mind wandered. Being back onboard this ship, which had been personally commissioned by the closest thing he as an Irken would ever have to a mother, stirred up a lot of memories, and a bit of melancholy. And the fact that he was here searching for those seeking to tear down all that Tallest Miyuki had helped build was fanning the flames of his carefully-controlled anger, which he was going to need to keep a handle on if he wanted to properly carry out this investigation.

He was pulled out of his musings as he heard footsteps nearby. Tensing very slightly for a moment, he relaxed as he sensed the familiar psychic presence of the person who was approaching.

"Feyr. I assume you have a report for me?" he asked, turning his unseeing gaze towards the pink-eyed male Irken in white Consular robes who had come up from another corridor to walk at his side.

"Yes sir. All the new additions to the security forces have been cleared of any connections to the rebels, and we've begun interrogations of the more established members," Feyr replied, "Some have been stubborn towards the necessity of our presence here, but they've been… persuaded, to do as they're told."

Darth couldn't help but roll his eyes at the melodramatic delivery of his lieutenant's comment. Feyr was one of his most skilled underlings, able to read thoughts from a distance with a clarity that was rather rare among their ranks. This made it easy for him to get into his targets' heads in both literal and figurative senses, allowing him to deduce the best way to get their cooperation, whether it be playing off their desires or making threats. As such, he had a reputation as both a silver-tongued manipulator and a vicious monster, both of which he reveled in.

"Good to know. The sooner we know that the Massive's security is completely in loyal hands, the sooner we can move our attention to other vital portions of the crew," Darth said with a nod. As the pair turned a corner, he sensed another familiar presence and bowed his head respectfully, "Greetings, my Tallest."

Red, who was floating down the hallway with his back to the Consulars and hadn't seen them coming, jumped in surprise. Turning to face them, he briefly looked startled, before his face shifted to annoyance.

"Don't do that," he snapped, before shaking it off and asking, "So, are we almost done with this ridiculous inspection yet?"

"Barely begun, my Tallest," Darth replied, "We're still working through the security forces, and haven't even gotten to the other crew sectors yet."

"Wait, you mean you haven't started interrogating the Service Drones yet?" Red asked, confused, "Then how come I haven't been able to get any service in my quarters? I was actually about to go down to the kitchens myself!"

"I believe I heard that Tallest Purple was calling all of them to attend to something for him," Darth replied.

"Is that right? Well, I guess I'd better go see what that idiot's up to now," Red muttered with a frown, floating off in the direction of Purple's room. Slightly curious themselves, Darth and Feyr followed after Red. Before long, they arrived at the door to Purple's quarters, which opened at Red's command. They then entered the room, only to come to a sudden stop; sensing Red and Feyr's confusion, Darth quickly formed a psychic link with the latter to see through his eyes, at which point he joined them in staring in surprise at the sight before them.

Purple floated off to one side, apparently supervising over the dozens of Table-Headed Service Drones who were scurrying around the room, running back and forth between food crates stacked against the walls and a swimming pool-sized bathtub in the middle of the room. The crates were full of bite-sized chip bags, which the drones were tearing open to dump the contents into the tub.

"…What the hell?" Red asked flatly, his voice catching Purple's attention.

"Hey Red, come check out this awesome idea I had!" he said excitedly, gesturing to the tub, "I'm going to bathe in chips!"

"Come again?" Red's voice was, if anything, somehow even more flat by this point, while the Consulars were left speechless by bafflement.

"Yeah, see, I was thinking about how annoying it is that you can't eat while bathing because the cleaning fluid and cleansing chalk gets all over the snacks and ruins them," Purple explained, oblivious to the looks he was getting, "So it occurred to me, why not just bathe in the snacks? Then you can eat what you're scrubbing yourself with!"

"And you need all these drones because…?" Feyr asked, still looking utterly confused.

"Bite-sized chips hold the flavor best, and I wasn't going to open all these bags by myself," Purple said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, before turning to Red, "So, what do you think?"

"Honestly?" Red replied with a scowl, finally allowing his annoyance at his partner's antics to show, "I think this is the stupidest idea you've had since that time you said we should only fly in straight lines!"

"Hey! That wasn't stupid, that was a way to prove we're unstoppable by literally not stopping for anything!" Purple countered, good mood evaporating.

"Oh yeah? Well, what if that straight line had taken us into a black hole or something?"

"We'd just blow it up!"

"Just blow up a _black hole?_ Do you know _anything_ about physics?"

"My Tallest," Darth spoke up, cutting off the argument before it could get too intense, "Forgive me for asking, but is it common to let the Service Drones have full access to your quarters like this?"

"Well, duh. How else are we supposed to get decent service?" Red asked.

"Ah. Well in that case, my Tallest, I think it would be prudent for me to interrogate and screen all these drones immediately," Darth stated, the Table Heads all freezing as they heard that.

"Why? They're just a bunch of shorty service drones; even if any of them had the guts to be traitors, it's not like they'd be any threat," Purple snorted in disbelief, kicking a drone in the back and sending him bouncing across the floor to punctuate the point.

"Be that as it may, my Tallest, it only makes logical sense to make sure that those who can come and go from your personal rooms are utterly loyal," Darth pressed.

"Oh please. Like Pur said, none of these tiny losers have the brains to betray us," Red said, as he grabbed an armful of the chip bags.

"Are you gonna take a chip bath too?" Purple asked him.

"What? No, I'm saving some of these to eat like a normal person before you waste them all," Red shot back, floating out of the room. Purple glared after him with a pout, before turning his attention back to the Consulars.

"Are you two still here? Get out!"

"My Tallest, I really think-" Feyr started to say, only for Purple to cut him off.

"I don't care! They're all too busy doing this for me to waste time with your stupid interrogations. Go look for your imaginary traitors somewhere else!" he snapped, pointing firmly at the door.

Feyr opened his mouth to try again, but at a psychic nudge from Darth, he shut it, instead joining his superior in bowing respectfully and exiting the room. Once they were in the hallway, he allowed a mild scowl to to twist his face.

"Are we really going to just let a blatant security breach go unattended just because it would be inconvenient for the Tallest to do so?" he asked, "I thought we had full discretion from the Control Brains to do whatever was necessary for this assignment."

"True, but we need to be smart about which fights we pick," Darth replied, "And I didn't feel like this one was worth it. Tell me, what did you sense among those service drones?"

"…Nothing overtly treasonous," Feyr responded after a moment of thought, "However, with that many minds jostling around in the same place, all of them quite anxious from our presence, it's hard even for me to shift through their individual thoughts from a distance. So I can't say for certain."

"So for now, we give them the benefit of the doubt," Darth said, "But as soon as we're done with the security forces, we screen every service drone, just to be sure."

Meanwhile, back in Purple's quarters, the subjects of this conversation continued to scurry about, carrying out the Tallest's absurd orders, while he greedily stood by and watched as the bathtub fill up with chips. But so focused was he on this, and the others on simply getting their job done, that none of them noticed as Bob took a brief detour on his way to grab more chip bags, stopping momentarily at a nearby desk, just briefly enough to grab a data pad and stuff it into his PAK. Once that was done, and he was sure that no one had seen anything, he quickly went back to work.

For several more hours, Bob went through the mind-numbing task of fulfilling Purple's ridiculous desire. When the tub was finally filled, the Tallest dismissed the Table Heads without so much as even a vague attempt at thanks, as per usual. Quickly filing out of the room with the others, Bob took off down a side corridor at a pace just short of what he thought might look suspicious, only stopping when he came across a vent on the lower portion of a wall. Looking around to make sure he was alone, Bob swiftly pried the vent's grate off, stuck the data pad inside, and then put the grate back in place. Beginning to walk away, he took out his PAK communicator and shot off a brief, innocuous-looking but actually coded message.

A short time later, a technician walked down the corridor, stopping at the vent and pulling off the grate. Grabbing the data pad, he replaced the grate and walked away, turning his attention to the pad itself. Seeing that it contained what Bob had said it did, he grinned in anticipation.

Now they could put their plan into action…

_Secondary Docking Bay 53-A, A Few Hours Later_

A large group of Irken soldiers were gathered in the docking bay, standing at attention in rows before the group of Consulars. One by one, they stepped forward, each allowing a Consular to place their hands on the sides of their heads. In each case, both the soldier and the Consular's eyes would then glow for a few minutes as the latter probed the former's minds, and then the Consular would step away and dismiss the woozy soldier, who would stumble away to sit down and rest.

Darth and Feyr stood on a platform in the middle of the room, overseeing the proceedings, while Wiyn leaned against a wall nearby, Mook standing at attention next to her. In contrast to the stoic professionalism presented by the Consulars and her own subordinate, the head of security looked utterly bored, the fact that she wanted to be anywhere but here blatantly obvious.

"Are we almost done here?" she asked, trying not to yawn, "I think it's pretty clear by now from the lack of results that my forces haven't been compromised."

"A portion of your soldiers being cleared doesn't mean that we should assume the others are all innocent as well, Commander," Darth said, while Feyr took notes on a data pad, "Really, you must learn to be more patient."

"Hmph," Wiyn grumbled angrily, before turning to her aide, "Mook, how many more of these do we have to go through?"

"We're almost halfway through this battalion, ma'am," Mook replied, checking a data pad of his own, "Which upon completion will put us halfway through the first division."

"That's all?" Wiyn groaned, rubbing her aching head.

"You could always leave if you have something else to do," Feyr commented, not looking up from his pad.

"I have _plenty_ to do, but I'm not about to let you fre… people, interrogate my soldiers without me present," Wiyn shot back, barely biting back on the insult before she spat it out.

Darth opened his mouth to say something, only for a blaring alarm to suddenly ring out, catching everyone by surprise. Looking around, they saw that the warning lights on the bay doors were flashing. The doors themselves slowly ground open, and before anyone could ask why that was happening, the atmospheric forcefields covering the openings flickered momentarily before shutting off. Everyone only had a moment to widen their eyes in shock at this, before the vacuum of space kicked in and air started rushing out of the bay, carrying anything that wasn't nailed down.

Irkens screamed as they went flying, swept up in the decompression. Several went right out the doors, but those with quicker reflexes — including all the Consulars, Wiyn and Mook — managed to deploy their PAK legs to catch and brace themselves, while simultaneously activating emergency air bubbles around their heads. After only a few seconds, the last of the air was sucked out, leaving everyone standing there in a void, frozen in shock at what had just happened.

"What the hell was that?!" Wiyn shouted after a moment, breaking the stunned silence. In response, Mook snatched up a data pad from where it had landed on the floor and scrolled through it, trying to find the cause of this disaster.

"Commander, it seems someone sent an override command to the doors, bypassing all security redundancies to make sure the hanger fully vented," he reported.

"Who?" Wiyn snarled, looking around as if expecting the culprit to be ready to confess on the spot.

"All I sensed just now was panic," Feyr commented, as he and the other Consulars brushed their robes off, "I don't believe anyone here was directly involved."

"I believe he's right, ma'am," Mook said, "It looks like the system was accessed remotely, and… wait, something's happening. I think — _flirk!_ Everyone watch out!"

Any confusion at that outburst was quickly wiped away by fresh panic as the robotic docking cranes lining the bay suddenly came to life and started swinging wildly. Everyone scattered as they proceeded to smash into the floor, seemingly at random. And then, as if that wasn't enough, they started grabbing docked ships, ripping them out of their spots, and tossing them through the air at the Irkens.

"They're targeting us," Darth said, as he and several others took cover behind the platform.

"Oh, are they? I hadn't noticed!" Wiyn snapped, sarcasm so thick a laser couldn't cut it.

"No, I mean _us_ specifically. The Consulars," Darth clarified, gesturing at the rest of the bay. Arching an antenna at that, Wiyn carefully peeked out around the platform for a better look, and saw to her surprise that he was right. While it seemed like the cranes were swinging and throwing randomly, a closer look showed that they did seem to be specifically aiming for the Consulars over the regular soldiers.

"Huh, guess I'm not not the only one around here who doesn't like you," Wiyn laughed. Darth ignored her dark humor and turned to Mook.

"Can you counteract their access and block them out of the system?" he asked.

"I'm trying," Mook replied, tapping away frantically on his pad, "But whoever's doing this is embedded deep. I'll need to set up a firewall of my own code to force them out."

"Well try harder," Feyr said, watching as a group of his colleagues barely avoided being hit with a Spittle Runner.

"Almost… and got it! Firewall established!" Mook exclaimed, seconds before the cranes groaned to a halt. When this persisted for several minutes, everyone allowed themselves to breathe a sigh of relief and calm down. As they came out from hiding, they looked around to examine the results of the chaos, finding that there were now numerous dents and holes in the floor, and multiple ships had been damaged, but it didn't appear as if anyone had been hurt (not counting those who had been previously sucked out into space, of course).

"The Tallest are not going to be happy about this," Feyr commented, taking in the damage.

"Forget the Tallest, _I'm_ not happy about this!" Wiyn shouted, "Someone just tried to kill me, and actually killed some of my soldiers in the process! Mook! Can you figure who did this and how?"

"I'm checking now, Commander. Fortunately, they didn't do a very good job covering their tracks," Mook replied, before stopping and staring at the pad in shock.

"What is it?" Darth asked, sensing Mook's confusion at whatever he had found.

"I… think you should all see this," Mook said, holding the pad out for the others to see. They walked over to look at it, Darth once again looking through Feyr's eyes to do so, and soon they were all likewise staring in disbelief.

"How…? We need to talk to the Tallest, right now," Darth said, actually sounding shaken.

"For once, I agree with you on something," Wiyn said, before turning to shout at her soldiers, "All of you back to barracks, now! And not a word about this to anyone!"

"The same for all of you," Darth added to the Consulars.

"Mook, repressurize this room so that we can get out of here," Wiyn commanded. Mook nodded in acknowledgement of the order and carried it out; a few minutes later, the room was full of air again, and the two senior-ranked Irkens and their lieutenants were able to safely exit into the hallway. The quartet then rapidly made their way to the bridge, not saying anything, too wrapped up in what had just transpired.

Before long, they reached the bridge doors, where Peech was standing guard, though she seemed to be more focused on examining some bottle caps, coins, and other assorted small shiny objects she was holding in one hand. Glancing up, she stiffened as she saw them approach; despite her evident confusion at seeing them all together, she quickly put away her collectables and snapped to attention. If she was confused by seeing the group all moving together with such determined looks on their faces, she didn't let it affect her, instead simply saluting and opening the door for them.

The group didn't even pause as they marched onto the bridge, though they did pause at the unusual sight that greeted them. Jayd was standing next to Purple's throne, directing hoses from his PAK in spraying clouds of glowing green medical nanogenes over the Tallest, who appeared to have a rash of some kind. Red, meanwhile, was reclining on his own throne, rolling his eyes at the display.

"My Tallest, I feel obligated to repeat that this is an extreme waste of materials needed to treat serious wounds," Jayd was saying, "I mean, your PAK should be able heal this on its own soon enough."

"That'll take too long! I'm itchy _now!_ " Purple whined, earning a snort from Red.

"Gee, who'd have thought that scrubbing every inch of your body with greasy, salty snacks would be a _bad_ thing?" he asked sarcastically, "Oh wait, I did!"

Purple looked like he was about to snap something at his co-ruler, but before he could, Darth cleared his throat, catching their attention.

"What is it?" Red asked, sounding utterly bored.

"Someone just tried to kill us," Wiyn said bluntly, instantly catching the attention of everyone in the room, who turned to stare at her in shock.

"Say what?" Purple asked, shoving Jayd aside, suddenly more interested in something other than his rash.

"Specifically, my Tallest, someone just tried to kill myself and the other Consulars," Darth explained, "We were carrying out interrogations on some of the Commander's troops, when someone depressurized the hanger we were in, before then attacking us with some of the equipment therein."

"And what's really shocking is that whoever did it used one of Tallest Purple's personal access codes!" Wiyn exclaimed, grabbing the data pad out of Mook's hands to display it. Everyone gasped at that, while Purple himself was wide-eyed and slack-jawed; snapping out of this after a moment, he snatched the pad out of Wiyn's grip to stare at it.

"I… buh… wha?" Purple sputtered, "I mean, yeah, that's my code, but I didn't use it! Why would I want to?!"

"We're not accusing you yourself, my Tallest," Darth said, holding up a placating hand, "But someone was clearly able to get ahold of your access codes. Tell me, do you leave any of your personal devices where someone else might be able to take them?"

"I dunno, maybe?" Purple replied with a shrug, "I have a ton of pads and consoles and stuff, I can't keep track of where I leave them all lying around."

"Are you kidding me?" Red asked in mild disgust, "Devices with your personal codes, able to access all systems onboard the _Massive_ , and you just leave them lying around?"

"How was I supposed to know this could happen? People are supposed to be too loyal to try this kinda thing!"

"The point is, my Tallest, that this rather conclusively proves that there are traitors aboard this ship," Darth cut in before the conversation could run off on a tangent, "And we need to find them now, before they can cover their tracks, or stage another attempt on anyone else's lives."

"Hmm," Red muttered wordlessly, rubbing his chin in thought. Taking the pad from Purple, he examined the code closely for a moment, before turning to Senior's station.

"Think you can figure out where this came from?" he asked.

"Yes, my Tallest, I think so," Senior replied, taking the pad from Red and plugging it into the console. He, Xeil, and the others then began analyzing the code and backtracing it through the system, attempting to see where it had been entered from. A few minutes later, Senior smirked under his high collar as his screen lit up in positive colors.

"Got it!" he announced, fingers flying across the screen, "Sending a counter-signal to the origin device now, programmed to make it send out an alert on its location. It'll probably take some time to narrow down, but-"

_PING_

Everyone on the bridge froze as that sound rang out. As it did again, they all turned to face its source, finding a technician who had apparently been discreetly making his way towards the door, frozen in mid-step and with a beeping emanating from his PAK's storage area.

There was a long moment of silence as everyone stared at the wide-eyed technician, who stared back at them… before turning and bolting towards the door.

"Stop him!" Wiyn shouted, as the technician passed through the open door. Still at attention on the other side, Peech jumped in surprise at the shout and the technician trying to run past her. Then her training kicked in and she swung her blaster rifle around to try and shoot him, only for him to whip the stolen data pad out of his PAK and toss it through the air to hit her square in the face.

As the disoriented Peech stumbled back, the technician snapped an arm out to grab the rifle out of her limp hands. He then spun around and opened fire, rapidly and randomly, back through the door into the bridge, causing the various Irkens trying to chase him to scatter and seek cover. He kept this up for a moment, then turned and ran down the hall again, the others soon pursuing again.

This chase didn't last long, however, as before the technician could even reach the next intersection in the hallway, several squads of soldiers emerged around the corner and aimed their weapons at him, causing him to skid to a halt. He tried to turn around to double back, but the security forces from the bridge had caught up, and they were now pointing their weapons at him as well. Snarling as his eyes glinted in panic-induced madness, he brought up his pilfered rifle to shoot…

_BANG_

_BANG_

"GAH!" the technician screamed as something punched holes into the rifle, grazing his hands in the process. As he dropped the rifle and clutched his injured hands, everyone else blinked in surprise and turned to face the source of the sound, to find Senior standing there holding his new revolvers. He blew the smoke off their barrels and melodramatically twirled them before holstering them, then noticed everyone staring in slack-jawed shock.

"What?" he asked with a shrug, "Just because I don't _like_ using guns doesn't mean I don't know _how_."

"Yes, yes, very good," Red said, waving Senior off as he and Purple caught up with the guards, "Now someone grab this guy, and-"

"Everyone back off!" the technician screamed, holding up a plasma grenade and gripping its pin.

"Oh, come on! Where'd he get that from?" Purple demanded incredulously, even as he shoved several guards in front of himself.

"Nobody come any closer, or I'll blow us all up!" the technician yelled, eyes frantic and shooting about wildly.

"Don't be foolish, there's no reason for this to end badly," Darth said in a smoothing tone, taking a few steps forward, "Simply put the grenade down and-"

"I said back off, freak!" the technician snarled, "I won't let you get inside my head! I've been a puppet of the Empire long enough, I'm not letting you turn me into a literal one! I've worked too hard to be stopped now!"

"Yes, yes, we're all very impressed with your treachery," Wiyn sneered, not seeming at all concerned at the prospect of getting blown up, "I'm sure it was such hard work."

"You're damn right it was hard work!" the technician snapped, turning his glare on Wiyn as he tightened his grip on the grenade pin, "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to set up an assassination attempt when you're working entirely on your own? Well, I won't be alone after this. I'll be a martyr; my actions will inspire countless others! Long live the New Or-!"

_ZAP_

_ZAP_

_ZAP_

The technician's rant was cut short as three plasma blasts suddenly shot through the air, hitting him in the chest, side, and finally the PAK, causing it to burst into a smoldering mess. This knocked the technician off his feet, and as he fell over, the grenade dropped from his hands, pin being pulled out by the sudden motion.

As everyone jerked in surprise and panic as they realized what had just happened, Dite dashed forward, blaster still smoking, and grabbed the beeping grenade. She then spun around and kicked open a nearby vent, and tossed the grenade into it, before leaping away and taking cover, as did everyone else when they realized what she'd just done. Seconds later, the wall burst open in a flash of plasma and flame.

When the smoke and debris cleared, everyone was able to stand up and take stock. A huge hole was in the wall, extending down to the next level, but it didn't appear as if anyone had been harmed. Except for the technician, of course, whose corpse Darth was clutching the head of, eyes glowing as he tried to examine the dead Irken's memories, only to curse as they faded into nothing before he could grasp them.

"Did you _have_ to shoot him in the PAK?" Darth snapped, glaring at Dite.

"He was about to blow us all up! I acted on instinct!" she retorted, frowning back at him.

"And a job well done, soldier," Red nodded in approval, "Commander Wiyn, give her the rest of the day off."

"Er, thank you, my Tallest?" Dite said, blinking at the underwhelming reward.

"Okay, show's over, everyone back to work," Purple announced, waving everyone off in a dismissive fashion.

"What? My Tallest, things are far from finished," Darth said, "We need to investigate to find out if he was working with anyone else."

"He just said he wasn't," Red said flatly, "If he were working with anyone, he'd be bragging about having an army behind him or something. Hell, they'd probably have shown up to try and help him. So, case closed, you found your Miz supporter in the Armada, you can go now."

"The Control Brains will not be pleased by this," Darth replied, narrowing his eyes.

"Why not? You did your job, a traitor's dead, and now we can all get back to conquering the universe," Red said, "Now go on and get out of here. And someone get a repair team up here to fix this hall!"

"Yeah, and toss what's-his-name's body out the airlock!" Purple added.

With that, everyone started wandering away back to where they'd come from. Soon, the only ones left in the wrecked hallway were the pair of Consulars, watching as a pair of security guards dragged away the technician's corpse.

"Was it me, or did his statement about working alone sound forced?" Feyr asked, "Like he was trying to convince us it was true?"

"Agreed. Unfortunately, his thoughts faded from existence before I could find anything of worth, and with his PAK destroyed we can't access his recorded memories," Darth grumbled, "There's no way to know for certain if he was working with anyone else."

"Can't we override the Tallest on this and keep investigating?"

"Sadly, I fear that this provides them with enough wiggle-room to claim that our mission has succeeded, and thus get rid of us. And they're too egotistical about their power to let us stick around and keep suggesting that everyone isn't as loyal to them as they want to believe," Darth said with a sigh, shaking his head, "Gather the others. We'll disembark before the Armada departs, but I'll recommend to the Control Brains that we double down on investigations elsewhere, and keep an eye out for any hint that things here aren't as cleared as they seem."

"By your command," Feyr responded with a bow, before walking off. Darth stayed behind for a few more minutes, staring at the still smoldering hole in the wall and floor in quiet contemplation. Eventually, however, he finally turned and left as well, still deep in thought.

So wrapped up in his own head as he was, Darth wasn't feeling out for the minds of others. As such, he didn't notice Bob at the other end of the hallway, watching him walk off with a smirk, before leaving down a side corridor.

_Lower Levels, A Short Time Later_

In a disused meeting hall, Bob stood on a platform. The rest of his cell was assembled before him, while a curtain with the NIO symbol painted on it stretched across the hallway behind him.

"My friends, I'm sure by now you've all heard what befell of our dear comrade, Technician Felot," Bob stated, "His attempt to kill all the Consulars failed, but in that failure there is still a victory, thanks to the contingency he and I agreed on beforehand. For once he was tracked down and killed, he managed to first deceive the Tallest and their boot-lickers into believing that he was the only follower of Miz's message aboard this ship. As such, the Consulars are being sent back to Irk, and we are now free to continue our work without suspicion. And in honor of Felot's sacrifice, let me show you what that work has given us."

As he finished saying that, Bob gestured to Garuk, who was standing off to the side. Nodding in response, Garuk pulled on a cord, causing the curtain to fall away, leaving everyone to "ooh" at the sight of what was behind it — a huge tower of computer servers and screens rising from the floor all the way up to the ceiling, where it disappeared into a mess of cables.

"Thanks to the effort of Felot, as well as other engineers and technicians, we have managed to construct a communications array of unrivaled power," Bob explained, "And thanks to the access codes stolen from Tallest Purple, we have been able to tie this bad boy into the _Massive's_ systems while hiding it from discovery. Simply put, my friends, we have created a Dark Irk-Net hub that is both completely mobile and completely undetectable."

Cheers and whoops of excitement cried out from the crowd, and Bob grinned widely at that, giving them a moment before carrying on.

"This is the day our movement truly becomes organized," he proclaimed, "With this hub serving as a nerve center, we'll be able to pull together all the various cells across the Empire; being able to communicate with each other in an utterly secure way will provide us the means to build a true army, from right under the Tallest's antennae! And then, when the time is right, we will strike down the rotted structure that is the height hierarchy from within its very core!"

As the crowd cheered even louder than before, Bob threw his arms wide, emulating Miz to the best of his ability.

"Long live the New Order!" he shouted, dozens of voices soon echoing him.

"LONG LIVE THE NEW ORDER!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are. We've gotten a look at how the New Irken Order is operating within the Empire, and the stage is set for them to expand in the future. Meanwhile, we've met a bunch of characters who will have varying levels of importance down the road.
> 
> Speaking of which, just to reiterate a point I made at the top, most of these new OCs belong to SaintHeartwing; only Lieutenant Mook and the named NIO members (other than Bob, who is canonical) are mine.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the heavy exposition throughout this chapter, but it wasn't really avoidable. That's the price for world-building, which is something I've really wanted to do with this season. Hope the chapter was enjoyable anyway.
> 
> Oh, and I don't normally point out the shout outs I include, but I hope everyone spotted that meta nod towards Enter the Florpus I included in this chapter. Specifically, calling out that bit of out-of-character stupidity on Red's part in the film.
> 
> And on a final note, a reminder that this story is now fully caught up here on AO3 to the original copy on FFN. What that means is that from now on, there'll be no more weekly updates; this story will update whenever the other copy does, which will be intermittent at best (I tend to suffer from heavy writer's block and other real life interferences). That said, I do have a couple of chapters in a non-canon spinoff I'll probably post on this site too at some point in the meantime.
> 
> Until next time, please comment!


	7. Through the Looking Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mishap during a fight sends all three teams into an alternate universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, sorry for the long wait. But, my side projects are out of the way, and I worked past the writer's block, so here's the next chapter. And after the arc-important events of last chapter, this is just going to be some fun filler stuff. Particularly, this is a chapter I've been looking forward to for some time (I know I say that a lot, but it's true), and I hope you all have fun reading it.
> 
> On a more sober note, I hope everyone is taking care of themselves in the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. Stay safe and healthy everyone!
> 
> Nothing else to say beyond that. Read on!

It was a bright day in Doomsville, or at least as bright a day as it ever got in this city. In the City Park, Team Save Earth were sitting at a rundown picnic table, upon which they had set up an array of recording equipment, most of it pointing up at the sky.

"So, what is this thing we're waiting for called again?" Viera asked as she watched the boys set everything up.

"The Stellar Shower," Dib replied as he tinkered with several sensors, "It's a cosmic energy storm that passes by Earth every 857.3 years."

"That's… oddly specific," Viera commented with an arched eyebrow.

"Hey, magical events might be able to round out to the nearest hundred-year mark, but science still needs to obey the laws of physics, and that means that some things aren't as rounded," Steve countered, as he helped Dib work.

"Which is why we're doing this in the middle of the day, instead of night," Dib added, "I mean, it'd probably look a lot more awesome without all this natural light in the way, but by the time night hit it'll have already passed by. Still, we should at least be able to get some great readings to share with the Eyeballs. Hell, even my dad might be impressed for once — some 'real science' to shove in his face."

"Good thing you're not bitter," Viera said flatly, earning snorts from the others.

"Okay, so we're all set up," Steve said a moment later, him and Dib stepping away from the equipment, "Now all we have to do is wait and… do you guys hear something?"

The trio all paused and tilted their heads towards a hill in the distance, where whirring, buzzing, and other large construction sounds could be heard. Glancing at each other in curiosity, they all shrugged and slowly walked towards the hill to see what was happening. Cresting the hill, they found the source of the noise — and instantly froze, wide-eyed, before dropping to the ground to hide their presence.

In the middle of the field ahead of them was a large lattice of scaffolding, supporting a series of cables running from a huge satellite dish on top down to a boxy structure on the ground, ringed by a series of glass containers. More importantly was the sight of Zim standing by a control panel at the base of said structure, yelling commands at his minions as they scurried about him. Skoodge and Nyx were running back and forth around the scaffolding, making adjustments to the machinery, while Ying did likewise at a more sedate pace, Minimoose floated about the top of the apparatus levitating tools around the dish, and GIR… sat off to the side eating from a box of doughnuts, clearly not interested in what was happening.

"What the hell are they doing here?" Viera whispered to the others.

"Ten-to-one odds say they're doing something related to the Stellar Shower," Dib replied, "Either that or it's a huge coincidence, which I don't believe. But why hasn't anyone come to investigate a huge, noisy eyesore like this thing?"

"I think that might have something to do with it," Steve said in a deadpan, pointing towards several large plywood signs ringing the area, all reading "ATTENTION HUMANS: IMPORTANT CONSTRUCTION WORK. DO NOT INTERFERE. OBEY YOUR CONSTRUCTION SUPERIORS!"

"Yeah, that figures," Dib sighed, shaking his head, "Come on, let's try to get closer and see if we hear what they're planning."

With that, the three of them slowly made their way down the other side of the hill, darting into some nearby bushes before they could be seen by the Irkens. They then peered carefully through the foliage to spy on the aliens, watching and listening as Zim continued to rant.

"…No, no, Zim said that those cables rotate into place clockwise!" Zim was shouting up Ying.

"I _am_ turning them clockwise, sir," Ying replied, the slightest note of irritation marring his usual calm tone.

"I meant _my_ clockwise, not yours!"

"It's the same… oh, never mind," Ying sighed, rotating the cables the opposite direction he'd been doing.

"And you two, pick up the pace! We're on a tight schedule here!" Zim snapped at Skoodge and Nyx.

"Yes sir!" Nyx replied happily as she welded several components into place. Skoodge, meanwhile, was too out of breath from all the running around carrying heavy equipment to say anything, so he settled for merely saluting.

"Minimoose! …Actually, you're doing fine," Zim said, trailing off from his aggressive tone in order to compliment his floating purple minion, "Clearly those latest upgrades I've given you are exceeding expectations."

"Nyah!" Minimoose replied, as he made numerous adjustments to the dish with the various tools he was levitating around the air.

"Yes, and that new voice module of yours is definitely a much more sophisticated-sounding one."

"Nyah!"

"You're welcome!" Zim replied cheerfully, before frowning as he looked to the side, where GIR was still eating his snack, "GIR, should I even ask if you're going to do anything useful?"

"Nope!" GIR responded with a smile, causing Zim to sigh and bury his face in his hands.

"Gah, never mind," Zim muttered, "Just keep sitting there, keep watch, and stay out of the way. The Stellar Shower is almost here, and the Energy Harvester must be ready by then, so we can siphon and collect all that cosmic power for our own use. Limitless power for Zim!"

"To do what?" GIR asked, tilting his head curiously.

"Eh, I dunno. I'll think of something," Zim replied with a shrug, "The important thing here is harnessing the energy, then we'll figure out what to do with it later. Now, try to be helpful for once and stand guard so no one interferes. Understand?"

"Yes, my master!" GIR said, eyes turning red for a moment as he saluted, before turning back to blue as he returned to his doughnuts. Zim sighed again, before shaking his head and returning to micromanaging the construction.

Meanwhile, Dib and the twins, who had managed to overhear all of this, retreated further back into the foliage.

"Well, you gotta love his consistency for exposition," Steve remarked, "So how do you want to play this?"

"Obviously we can't let them get ahold of this kind of power, even if they don't even know what they going to use it for," Dib said, "So we need to take that thing out now, before they can use it."

"Hit 'em hard while they're distracted, and then blast it before they can recover," Viera suggested, the boys nodding in agreement. They then crept back to the edge of the foliage, readied their weapons, and prepared to strike. Meanwhile, Zim was still ranting at his minions.

"Faster! We don't have time for delays!" he snapped, "Must Zim do everything himself?!"

"But you're not actually doing _anything_ ," Skoodge pointed out as he welded a component into place.

"Zim heard that! Stop talking and-AH!" Zim started to say, only to yelp in pain and surprise as Dib suddenly bolted out of cover and charged him, plasma gauntlet smacking him in the face and sending him flying to slam against one of the girders supporting the Harvester. The other Irkens jumped at that, but before they could do anything, the twins also charged from cover and opened fire, plasma and fire lancing across the Harvester's scaffolding, the resulting explosions driving Skoodge and Nyx back.

Ying, by contrast, leapt off the top of the Harvester and towards the twins, shifting into his Battle Mode in the process. Seeing him coming they leapt out of the way before he impacted the ground, and then took off running, firing back at him as he chased them. Taking advantage of this distraction, Dib ran towards the machinery at the base of the Harvester, only for a recovered Zim to jump in his way, PAK legs deployed.

"Well of course you decided to show up, Dib-Stink," he sneered, "But it matters not! You cannot stop Zim's latest plan! A plan which is most certain to finally-"

"I heard you telling GIR you don't actually have a plan for what to do with all that energy," Dib said flatly, smirking as Zim's face fell.

"Oh, well… shut up and die!" Zim snapped, slashing at Dib, who dodged out of the way. The two then fell into an almost dance-like pattern, trading strikes and trying to avoid each other's blows, leaving them locked in a stalemate.

While this was going on, Nyx and Skoodge were looking down from the smoldering scaffolding, watching as the fighting carried on below them. Her hands twitched as she repressed the urge to jump down and help Zim; as much as she wanted to, she knew he wouldn't want the interference in his battle with Dib. So instead, she tore her attention away from the two of them and looked to where Ying was chasing the twins around, the pair alternating between attacking him and running from him.

"Skoodge, keep working on the Harvester. I'll handle this," she said, pulling out My Little Friend and hopping off of the scaffolding.

"Uh, sure. I'll just stay here," Skoodge said, rather happy to have an excuse to stay out of the fighting for once. He watched for a few moments as Nyx ran towards Ying and the twins, plasma minigun spinning to life, before turning back to his work.

Seeing Nyx run towards his friends, Dib cursed and turned to launch a plasma wave at her, only for Zim to sweep his legs out from under him, sending the attack flying and knocking him to the ground. And before Dib could react from that, Zim lashed out with a kick to the head that rendered him insensate.

"That's right, Dib, just lie there and stew in your failure," Zim sneered, before turning back towards the Harvester — and was promptly punched in the face hard enough to bowl him over completely.

"Excellent advice. Why don't you take it for yourself?" Tak asked with a smirk, while behind her Skoodge slammed into the ground hard enough to leave his head embedded in the ground. Up above, Tenn dusted her hands off, having snuck up on the chubby Irken and dealt with him before he could sound an alarm.

"What? Tak? How did you- GIR! You were supposed to be keeping guard!" Zim yelled at his robot, only to turn and blink as he saw MIMI slamming GIR repeatedly into the ground with her extended arm.

"Look, Master! Kitty came to play!" GIR said happily, not caring as he repeatedly hit the dirt.

"Eh, that figures," Zim muttered angrily, before turning back to Tak with a scowl, "Regardless, what are you even here for? Going to steal my brilliant plan for your own pathetic ends?"

"What plan? You're just harvesting cosmic energy on the off chance you might need it for something later," Tak replied, smirk growing as Zim's eye twitched.

"Did _everyone_ hear that?" he snapped.

"You talk very loudly," Tak said, "And to answer your first question, I'm not going to let a Defective traitor like you get ahold of that much potential power. So, I think I'll just take it off your hands and deliver it to the Tallest — the Armada will make much better use of it."

"As if Zim will let some lapdog steal his brilliance to aid those ungrateful sloths," Zim snarled, brandishing his PAK legs at Tak, "You'll take that energy over my dead body!"

"Fine by- HEY!" Tak started to reply, only for Dib to suddenly jump up and bolt towards the Harvester's control panel. Cursing, both Zim and Tak jumped to intercept him, a three-way fight quickly breaking out, plasma flying in every direction.

Meanwhile, Nyx had crested a hill and was about to start shooting at the twins, who were currently keeping Ying at bay with a wall of fire. Seeing the plasma bursts from the corner of her eye, she turned to look back at the Harvester, and scowled as she saw what was happening.

"Seriously? I _just_ got over here!" she said, scowl deepening as she saw Tenn atop the scaffolding and doing something with the interior of the machinery, "Oh no you don't, Drone!"

While hesitant to leave Ying to fend on his own, Nyx knew he could handle himself, and that it was more important to stop Tenn's interference. So, spinning on her heel, she sprinted back towards the Harvester. As she approached, she almost opened fire, but stopped as she realized that she'd only damage the Harvester. So instead, she re-compacted the minigun and slipped it back into her PAK, and pulled out a handful of small metal darts, which she then flung through the air ahead of her. Micro-rockets triggered in their bases, propelling them to impact into the scaffolding a few feet away from where Tenn was standing. Hearing this, she turned to the source of the sound, then cursed and jumped out of the way just before the devices burst in explosions small enough to avoid damaging the Harvester.

As Tenn coughed the smoke out of the respiratory sacs of her squeedlyspooch, Nyx reached the scaffolding and leapt up to her level. And before Tenn could register that, Nyx lashed out with a kick to the midsection that sent her flying off of the girder they were standing on. Fortunately for Tenn, however, she was able to deploy her PAK legs and grab the edge before she could fall. She then flipped herself onto her feet, and glared at Nyx.

"Dirty move. Though I suppose I should expect that from a crazed little Defect like you," she spat.

"Blah blah, let's skip the boring Imperial propaganda," Nyx said, fake yawning, "Seriously, do you practice that stuff in front of a mirror every day or something?"

Growling at how dismissive Nyx was being towards her, Tenn shot forward and slashed at her. Nyx ducked into a roll to dodge it, then brought out her own PAK legs, countering Tenn's slashes with her own. Tenn threw a punch, which Nyx blocked, before retaliating in kind. Tenn shifted to the side, letting the punch go wide, before grabbing Nyx's arm and pulling her forward while bringing a knee up to collide with the anarchist's abdomen. As Nyx doubled over, Tenn twisted her around while keeping a grip on her arm, keeping it painfully behind her back while she was forced to her knees.

"Heh, not so tough when you can't bite your opponent, are you?" Tenn sneered… only to stare in surprise as Nyx suddenly twisted her body in such a way that the shoulder of her pinned arm dislocated with a sickening _crack_. And before she could react to that, Nyx jumped back to her feet, spun around, and punched Tenn in the face with her free hand, hard enough to send her flying several feet before skittering to a halt. Shaking her head to clear it, she looked back at Nyx and grimaced at the sight of her dislocated arm flopping about.

"That's disgusting," she spat, fighting back nausea.

"Yeah, I know," Nyx replied with a pained grunt as she popped her arm back into place, "But hey, it works. Now let's… huh."

Nyx trailed off and looked up, Tenn unable to resist doing the same as the sky was suddenly filled with light. A blazing aurora of every color was cutting through the atmosphere, brightly enough to be seen by the naked eye despite the sun still being out. And while the average Doomsville citizen at most just glanced at it and then shrugged it off, the much more attentive combatants actually stopped fighting to gaze in awe at it.

"Okay, yeah, I can see what all the hype is about now," Viera admitted.

"Indeed, it is rather impressive," Ying said, as he paused in hefting the tree he'd just pulled out of the ground to use as a club. Snapping out of their daze as they noticed this, the twins yelped and ran off, before Ying likewise regained his composure and chased after them again.

Meanwhile, back atop the Harvester scaffolding, Nyx and Tenn were still looking up at the Stellar Shower as it passed by, when Skoodge suddenly shot up onto their level with a large wrench in hand.

"Hoo-ah!" he cried, swinging the heavy tool at Tenn from behind, only for her to duck, letting it swing over her head, before she jumped back up to punch Skoodge in the face, knocking him onto his back.

"Sneak attacks work better if you don't announce them," Tenn said dryly as Skoodge groaned at her feet, before she turned back to Nyx, "Now then, where were we?"

Nyx opened her mouth to say something in response, only to be cut off by a sudden groaning sound. Looking for the source of it, the three Irkens found that the Harvester's satellite dish was moving, being rotated so that it was pointing directly at the center of the Shower. This was followed by a low humming, before a portion of the Shower's aurora started twisting, funneling down into the dish, where it was then channeled down the cables to the base of the tower.

"When did you have time to activate the Harvester?" Nyx asked Skoodge, sounding impressed.

"I didn't do that," he replied. The three of them all blinked in confusion, before peering over the edge of the girder they were standing on to look down at the control panel… where Minimoose was currently seated on the activation switch, having dragged it down into the "on" position with his body weight.

"Nyah!" he squeaked, sounding rather smug.

"Well done, Minimoose!" Zim crowed, from where Tak had him pinned against a support beam with one PAK leg, while another fired repeatedly at Dib as he took cover behind a different beam, "Now these fools shall witness the glory of Zim!"

"What part of 'I'm just going to take all this energy from you' did you misunderstand?" Tak asked dryly, watching as the glass containers ringing the base of the Harvester started filling with energy, "Dib's the one trying to stop this from happening, I want it to."

"Well, you'll still fail anyway! Because Zim is- AAHHH!" Zim started to say, only for Tak to roll her eyes and cut him off, by grabbing him by the collar and flinging him through the air, away from the Harvester. She then turned back to Dib and found him charging towards her, fists pulled back and ready to strike. Smirking, she easily dodged out of the way… only for her smirk to drop off her face as Dib didn't even try to slow down as he passed her. And then her eyes widened as Dib used his momentum to leap towards a beam and kick off it, sending him through the air over her and spinning him around to face the base of the Harvester.

And more importantly, the containers of cosmic energy ringing it.

"Don't you dare!" Tak yelled, firing at Dib to try and knock him out of the air. But it was too late, and Dib threw his fists forward, the plasma gathered around his gauntlets shooting towards the containers. The blast hit dead on, several of the containers bursting immediately, the others following suit in a chain reaction, as Dib hit the ground.

"Ha! So much for either of you harnessing all that energy!" he said, scrambling back to his feet.

"You idiot! Where do you think all that energy's going to go?!" Tak snapped in panic, pointing towards the damaged machinery. Dib followed her finger, and his eyes widened as he took in the sight of all the released cosmic energy coalescing into a corona, which was pulsing at an increasingly intense rate.

"Oh, that's not good," Dib said meekly, just as the pulsing hit a crescendo.

_CRA-THROOM!_

With a blinding flash of light, the energy burst, somehow managing to both explode and implode at the same time, vaporizing the base of the Harvester. But that was practically an afterthought, to everything else that happened.

The world seemed to freeze, and then fold in on itself. Gravity momentarily ceased, leaving all the combatants in the area floating in midair, before it flipped, sending everyone flying towards the bright light emanating from the explosion site. Human, Irken, and robot alike tried to grab ahold of anything they could to stop themselves, but it was fruitless, and they all slammed into the light, each of them vanishing with a flash.

This all lasted only a few seconds, and then reality reasserted itself. The remaining remnants of the Harvester which hadn't been sucked up by the disturbance clattered to the ground, scorched and smoking, surrounding a crater on the ground… and a glowing, prismatic crack hovering in midair above it.

Of everyone who had been fighting, there was no sign.

_Somewhere Else, Shortly After_

"Ugh, what hit me?" Dib groaned as he regained consciousness. Forcing his eyes open, he looked around and took in his surroundings. He, and everyone else who had just been involved in the fight, were all lying scattered around the ground, surrounded by various charred pieces of the Harvester, and there was a glowing crack in the air above them all… wait, what?

Dib stared at that abnormality, trying to process it, before shaking his head to clear it, reminding himself that now probably wasn't the time to examine it. Getting to his feet, he quickly ran over to where the twins were also regaining consciousness.

"Are you guys alright?" he asked, helping them to their feet.

"I think so," Viera said with a slight moan, while Steve wordlessly nodded, "What happened?"

"What happened is that that bigheaded moron just blew up a machine processing pure cosmic energy!" Tak snapped, as she and Tenn likewise made their way back to their feet, "We're lucky we weren't all vaporized!"

"My head is not big!" Dib snapped.

"Yes it is!" GIR said cheerfully, as a woozy Zim leaned against him for support.

"Ugh, Zim feels like he was run over by a Plasma Tank," he muttered, rubbing his head. Looking around, he noted Ying helping Nyx up and brushing her off, and Skoodge lying on the ground, still mostly unconscious. Scowling, he kicked his fellow Invader in the side, causing him to jolt awake.

"Goat cheese omelettes!" Skoodge exclaimed as he came to, before blinking and looking around in confusion, "Are we not dead? And what's the glowing thing?"

"It appears to be some kind of dimensional tear," Tenn mused, pulling a device from her PAK and scanning the tear with it. Being weary from the unexpected end to the fight, and genuinely curious about the situation, no one did anything as she did so, except awkwardly look around. While doing so, Steve spotted something, and his eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Er, does anyone else see this?" he asked, gesturing at what he'd seen. Everyone turned to see what he was looking at, and likewise stared in confusion.

Aside from the Harvester debris, the park was looking unusually clean and well-maintained — the grass was evenly mowed everywhere, the trashcans weren't overflowing, and the benches, fountains, outhouses and other furnishings were all shiny and new, without any graffiti, dents, or even grime to be seen. Even stranger than that, however, was the sign marking the entrance to the park, which now read "Hopesville City Park".

"'Hopesville'? What the hell is going on?" Viera asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

"Ah, _caragash_ ," Tenn muttered, looking up from her scanner and eyeing the rift in the air, "I'll tell you what's going on — this thing is a Smarkle Rift."

"Yes, that's exactly what Zim knew was happening!" Zim said quickly, earning rolling eyes all around.

"You don't even know what that means," Tak said flatly.

"You lie!"

"What's a Smarkle Rift?" Dib asked, trying to keep the conversation on track, at least until he got some answers.

"It's like a miniaturized version of a Florpus Hole," Tenn responded, which only got blank looks from the humans.

"…Are you just making up words because you know we don't know enough about space science to tell?" Steve asked, causing Tenn to sigh in exasperation.

"Primitive apes," she muttered, before shaking it off to explain, "What I mean is, this is basically a hole in the fabric of the multiverse that leads between different realities."

"Wait… we're in an alternate universe?!" Viera exclaimed.

"That's what it looks like," Tenn said, "All that cosmic energy being condensed only to be released so explosively tore open the rift, and since we were all unfortunate enough to be standing in proximity, we got sucked through and dumped wherever it led."

"Oh. Um, oops?" Dib said weakly, as it occurred to him that this was technically his fault.

"Yes, yes, this is all very interesting, but Zim has important things to do, so I'll just be heading back now," Zim said, jumping up to the rift-

_ZAP_

-and being sent flying the moment he touched it, slamming into a tree several yards away. As Nyx and Skoodge ran over to help him (the robots all following at a more sedate pace), the others all observed with mixed amounts of surprise and amusement.

"Not that that wasn't extremely satisfying to watch," Tak commented with a smirk, "But what just happened?"

"The rift is uni-directional. It only allows things to pass one way," Tenn explained, which instantly killed the mood.

"We're stuck here?" Steve asked, alarmed, "Come on, there's gotta be a way to reverse this thing so we can go back!"

"Not with any equipment we have on hand," Tenn said, "We'd need something a lot more sophisticated."

"…What are the odds there are alternate versions of all of us in this universe?" Dib asked after a moment of thought, "Because if there are, and they're anything like us, they should all have at least something to contribute to fixing this."

"A fair point," Tak reluctantly conceded, "So, truce until we're all back in our own universe?"

"I don't think we really have a choice," Viera said, "Fighting each other right now will probably just ruin any chance we have."

"Right, we all need to work to… Zim's group already left, didn't they?" Dib said, trailing off with a sigh as he turned and found that, indeed, Zim and his minions had all disappeared.

"That figures," Tak grumbled, "Well, we'll just have to deal with that moron if and when he becomes a problem. Until then, let's all get a move on."

Not bothering to wait for a response, Tak then turned on her heel and marched away, MIMI following after her. Tenn took a moment to give the humans an appraising look, and then followed after her partner as well. Team Save Earth watched them go, before looking at each other.

"So, where do we start?" Steve asked.

"We head to my house, and hope that whatever version of me is in this world has the resources to help us," Dib said.

"And if he doesn't?" Viera asked, "For all we know, in this universe you're a luddite or something."

"Then for once we're going to have to hope Zim or Tak have better luck than us," Dib replied, "Now let's get going."

With that, the trio took off for this world's version of Dib's house.

_Meanwhile_

Zim marched down the street, minions at his back, not outwardly showing any reaction to the situation they'd found themselves in. Inwardly, though, he had to admit that he found this alternate world a little disconcerting — the streets were clean, the buildings weren't run down, and rather than apathetic or angry, the humans wandering the streets all looked _happy_ , and were acting _kind_ to each other.

It completely flew in the face of everything Zim had come to know of Earth since arriving on the disgusting ball of dirt.

" _Not that it matters, we won't be here long,_ " he thought, before speaking aloud, "Now remember, when we find my counterpart, let me do the talking, Zim to Zim."

"Uh, yeah, sure thing," Skoodge replied, not quite sure how to handle the thought of multiple Zims. Nyx, by contrast, was grinning widely.

"More than one Zim? That's so awesome! I've had dreams about that, actually," she said, earning a disturbed look from Skoodge.

"I don't believe any of us needed to know that, Madame," Ying commented from his place at Nyx's side; in response, she flushed slightly and bopped him lightly on the head.

"Yes, having more Zim is always a good thing. Though obviously I'm the most amazing of all Zims!" Zim crowed, before perking up as they neared their cul-de-sac and he saw that his house was there. It had a normal front door and there were no gnomes in the lawn, but overall the crooked green house still stood in the same spot as back in Doomsville. Smirking at this — in his view — proof of his inevitable dominance in any reality, Zim quickened his pace, reaching the door moments later and kicking it open.

"Zim! Behold the might of Zim!" he called out, whipping off his disguise and throwing his arms out wide in greeting. When nothing happened, he frowned and actually looked around. The interior of the house was nearly identical to back in their reality, except for differences like the wallpaper and carpets being brighter colors, the monkey painting over the couch being missing, and the toilet in the kitchen being likewise missing.

"Ugh, this reality's Zim clearly has no sense of interior design," Zim complained, "And where is he? Me. Whatever… this is confusing."

As if in response to that comment, the floor next to the couch opened, and a platform rose up into view. And standing there on it was a nearly-perfect copy of Zim — physically, they looked exactly the same, but the other Zim's outfit was blue instead of pink. And more surprisingly, he had what appeared to be a genuine smile on his face.

"Greetings, Zim! Welcome to the home of Zim!" the other Zim greeted cheerfully.

"Eh? You're not surprised to see me?" Zim asked, arching an antenna at his counterpart's casual reaction to his presence.

"Well, I probably would have been if I hadn't detected that energy surge in the park earlier. A Smarkle Rift, right?" the alternate Zim responded, only to pause and stare as he took in the others behind Zim, "Wow, that's weird… anyway! Let's get down to the lab and talk this over properly."

Everyone gathered onto the platform, and it lowered down into the lab, which Zim noted looked almost exactly the same as his own. Then they reached the main chamber, and Alternate-Zim walked over to the chair in front of the central console, which a red-eyed GIR was standing at attention next to.

"Hi me!" GIR greeted his counterpart, who merely stared impassively back at him.

"GIR, go get the others," Alternate-Zim said, tone too light to be considered an actual order.

"Yes sir," Alternate-GIR replied with a salute, marching off into a side tunnel.

"Is he always like that?" Zim asked, slightly disturbed to see GIR acting like a proper SIR.

"Yeah. I tried to program him to lighten up once, but that didn't go so well," Alternate-Zim said, shuddering slightly before shrugging it off, "Anyway, let's address the obvious problem — something caused you guys to get sucked through the multiverse to end up here in my reality, and now you need my help to get back, right?"

"Yes, and this must be done quickly. Zim has much important work to accomplish!"

"Of course, I understand perfectly, and I'll be happy to help. And it should no time at all, or my name isn't Protector Zim!"

"… _Protector_ Zim?" Zim asked slowly, he and the other Irkens blinking at the proclamation.

"Yep, the best Protector in the entire Irken Federation, the absolute best at helping less advanced species uplift themselves to join our galactic community," Alternate-Zim said happily, before pausing as he noticed the incredulous looks he was getting from his guests, "Is that… not how things work in your universe?"

"Well, actually- oof!" Skoodge started to say, only for Zim to cut him off with a kick to the leg.

"Yes, of course that's how it works in our universe," Zim said with a strained smile, "Zim loves to aid lesser species. That doesn't make me sick at all!"

Alternate-Zim squinted an eye at that response, but before he could say anything, his GIR returned to the room, followed by a copy of Ying… who was messily eating from a pack of Vort Dogs, bits of the snack falling all over him and mixing with various other stains and crumbs covering his body.

"Whaddaya want?" Alternate-Ying asked in a thick New York accent, giving Alternate-Zim a disinterested look and not even acknowledging the visitors.

"That is disconcerting," Ying said, the twitching of one eye the only thing giving away how he felt about seeing his doppelgänger.

"Aw, come on, it's not that big a deal. Just laugh off the weirdness," Nyx said, mildly amused by the situation… and then her own counterpart walked into the room, and her good mood ground to an instant halt.

"May I be of assistance?" Alternate-Nyx asked in a completely bland voice that was matched perfectly by the utterly neutral look on her. She was wearing a beige pantsuit with a plain shirt and a tie that was checkered with barely-distinguishable squares of beige and tan. In Nyx's view, absolutely everything about her looked and sounded like she should be sitting in a cubicle in some corporate building somewhere, surrounded by people all dressed and acting exactly the same.

"…" Nyx stared at her counterpart wide-eyed and silently for a moment, and then her PAK legs deployed. With a primal snarl, she tried to lunge at her bland lookalike, only for Ying to grab her around the waist to prevent her from doing something rash.

"Kill it! Kill it with FIRE!" Nyx screamed as she thrashed in Ying's grip.

"Always good to see you taking your own advice, Madame," he commented dryly.

"Er, is she okay?" Alternate-Zim asked, leaning back in his chair in minor fear at the display.

"She'll be fine," Zim said dismissively, not particularly impressed with how meek his counterpart was acting. He was a Zim, he shouldn't be wimpy!

"Hey, shouldn't there be a me around here somewhere too?" Skoodge asked, looking around curiously.

"Oh, my Skoodge doesn't live here. He's a freelance explorer who just visits occasionally when he's between adventures," Alternate-Zim explained, pressing a button on the console and bringing up pictures of him and his Skoodge… who was a foot taller than him and built like a bodybuilder. Skoodge and Zim's jaws dropped at that, and Nyx even halted her attempts to attack her counterpart to stare at the images.

"Admittedly he can be kind of a jerk sometimes, but I know he doesn't mean any harm," Alternate-Zim said with a shrug, gesturing to a image of Alternate-Skoodge giving him a rather painful-looking noogie, "Anyway, enough with the exposition, we should be getting to work."

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked, floating over to deposit a pad in Alternate-Zim's lap.

"Ah, thank you, Minimoose," Alternate-Zim said, while Zim blinked and turned to see that Minimoose was still floating behind him, looking identical to the one floating next to his counterpart.

"Huh, I guess some things are universal," he muttered, before shaking his head and asking, "Well, how long will this take?"

"It shouldn't take too long at all. I just have to set aside a few of my other projects and rededicate the resources to handling this," Alternate-Zim said, tapping away at the pad, "Let's see, I'll have to put that climate change reversal plan on the back-burner, delay development on those clean energy plants for developing countries, I can probably get away with leaving at least a few servers dedicated to figuring out the best way to clean up all the plastic in the oceans…"

As he listened to his counterpart list various ways he could _help_ the humans, Zim clenched his jaw to keep from screaming in frustration. He just had to remind himself that this was a temporary situation, and soon he'd be back in a reality that made sense.

And with any luck, all the others were being just as annoyed by meeting their counterparts as he was.

_Downtown Hopesville, Same Time_

Making their way through the city towards where the alternate version of Dib's house should be, Team Save Earth couldn't help but marvel at the differences between this reality and their own. It wasn't just that everything was cleaner and better maintained than in Doomsville. And it wasn't all the little things, like ads for the newest model Game Pal or for Slimy's Pizza Pig, which subtly spelled out that they weren't in their own world. No, it was more to do with seeing the crowds of people walking around acting cordially towards each other, in sharp contrast to the general apathy and disgruntlement they'd all long since gotten used to seeing back home.

"Is it wrong that I kinda like this reality better than our own?" Steve asked.

"If it is, I'm guilty of it too," Viera replied, "It just feels… nicer here than our world."

"Can't argue with that, but don't get too taken in," Dib said, "We _do_ have to go back to our own universe, if for no other reason than because the Irkens will be and we need to be there to protect the world from them. Plus, I'm not sure how having multiple versions of the same people living in the same reality long-term would work."

"Yeah, fair enough," Steve said, "Still, it's nice to imagine… is that a farm?"

The sudden shift in conversation caught Dib and Viera off guard, and after looking at Steve in confusion for a moment, they followed his pointing finger across the street to find that there was indeed a farm there. A honest-to-goodness farm taking up an entire city block, complete with a barn, numerous vegetable patches and corn fields, and several pens of various kinds of livestock. If not for the incredulity of being smack in the middle of an urban environment, it would have been picture perfect.

"Who puts a farm in the middle of a city?" Dib asked in disbelief.

"Er, check out the name on the sign," Viera said, pointing to the sign atop the archway framing the front entrance to the property. Which proudly declared it as "Membrane Farms".

"…You've gotta be kidding me," Dib said flatly, before crossing the street towards the farm, "C'mon, I need to check this out."

The trio crossed the street and passed through the wide-open gates of the farm. Looking around confirmed that it was exactly as it appeared from the outside, with the exception of a section they hadn't been able to see through the fence surrounding the property, where a desk had been set up with a register on it, and a series of racks containing fruit, vegetables, and meat next to it. And seated at that desk…

"Dad?!" Dib exclaimed on instinct, before reminding himself that the man he was looking at wasn't _actually_ his father. Even so, it was hard for his brain to process the image of Professor Membrane wearing the flannel shirt and blue coveralls of a stereotypical farmer (and for some reason, still with his trademark goggles).

"Yee-haw! Well, howdy there, son! Didn't expect to see ya and yer lil' friends down here today!" Farmer Membrane greeted with an over-the-top "hillbilly" accent that threw Dib for another loop.

"Er, we're just passing through," Dib said weakly, not even trying to explain the whole "alternate universe" thing; this version of his father clearly wasn't a multi-Nobel-winning genius, and probably wouldn't understand it anyway. Which was suddenly making Dib worried about his chances to work out a way to invert the Rift, if his own counterpart was anything like this.

"Well in that case, why don't ya'll help yerselves to some free samples?" Membrane asked, gesturing to the racks next to him.

"That's, really not necessary," Viera protested gently, only for Membrane to wave her off.

"Naw, it's okay. Company policy — everyone who visits the farm gets free samples!"

"…Isn't that a bad business plan?" Steve asked, arching an eyebrow, "I mean, what's to stop people from just taking samples and not actually buying anything?"

There was a moment of silence, as Farmer Membrane scratched his head in thought.

"Huh. That there never occurred to me. I'll have to do some thinking on that," he admitted with a shrug, before turning towards the barn and raising his voice to say, "Sweetie, remind me ta' rethink the free sample policy later!"

"Okay, Daddy!" a sugary-sweet voice replied as its owner emerged from the barn, at which point Dib's already shocked brain almost went into a total breakdown.

It was this reality's version of Gaz… who was wearing a bright pink dress, a heart-shaped necklace, and pink bows in her hair. She was smiling widely, and her wide open eyes almost seemed to be _sparkling_. Dib and the twins could only stare, Dib and Viera's jaws dropping as they took in that sight, while Steve blinked repeatedly as if that would change what he was seeing.

"By the way, Daddy, I finished restocking the hay and mucking out the stables," the alternate Gaz said cheerfully, "Did you need anything else?"

"Naw, I'm fine, honey," Membrane said as he got up, "Whelp, Imma gonna go check on the corn harvest. Y'all help yourselves to whatever ya want."

As Membrane walked away, Alternate-Gaz finally seemed to notice Dib and the twins, who were still silently gaping at her. Gasping in delight, she darted over and wrapped Dib up in a hug, earning a startled yelp from him.

"Hi, big brother! I didn't know you were coming by today!" she said brightly.

"Grk," Dib mumbled, mind unable to wrap itself around the concept of his sister being so nice to him. She didn't seem to notice his reaction, but after a moment she let go and looked inquisitively at him and the others, tapping her chin in thought.

"Hmm, there's something different about you guys," she mused. At this point, Steve snapped out of his shock; seeing that the others were still too stunned to say anything, he took the initiative.

"Would you believe we're from an alternate universe?" he asked, not seeing a point in lying about this. What would be the point when they were going to be trying to ask for help getting home anyway?

"Really? Ohmigosh, that's so cool! Wait 'till my Dib hears about this!" Alternate-Gaz gushed. Dib, meanwhile, finally came back to his senses, shaking his head to clear it and jumping onto the conversation.

"Speaking of which, we'll probably need his help to get back to our own universe. Do you know where he is?" he asked.

"Sure, he and his friends should be at home! C'mon!" Alternate-Gaz said, before turning around and skipping away. _Literally_ skipping.

"…This is going to give me nightmares," Dib sighed, following after his sister's counterpart. Steve followed, dragging along Viera, who was still frozen in shock.

_Elsewhere, Same Time_

Tak and Tenn stood in the central command room of their counterparts' base in the Deelishus Weenie building… or rather, the Tasty Wiener building, as it was apparently known in this universe. They'd arrived a little while earlier and been welcomed by Tak's counterpart, who had apparently detected the Rift and therefore wasn't surprised to see them. Now, they were waiting on the alternate Tak to finish analyzing things on her computer.

Or rather, the "anti" Tak, as they'd both mentally dubbed her, due to some rather glaring personality differences they'd immediately noticed.

"Well, the calculations on the Rift inversion are coming along pretty rapidly, we should be able to send you home in no time," Anti-Tak said perkily. Between that tone of voice and the blue-and-white colored uniform she was wearing, she was such an overall cheerful image that it practically made Tak's eyes hurt just to look at her. And all this talk of being a "Protector" quite honestly made her sick, but she was doing her best to repress that.

"Glad to hear it," Tak said curtly, watching her MIMI trying to avoid being dragged into playing with her own counterpart; judging by how Anti-Tak shrugged the whole thing off, Anti-MIMI was usually like this, which was frankly disturbing.

"Is she planning on joining the conversation any time soon?" Tenn asked, gesturing towards where her counterpart was laying splayed on a nearby couch, sipping a soda and watching a screen displaying some TV show, apparently oblivious to their presence.

"Yeah, I wouldn't count on it," Anti-Tak said, sounding slightly disgruntled, "I agreed to let her crash in my base a few months back when she was between jobs, and she's done pretty much nothing since."

"Hey, I help out sometimes," Anti-Tenn protested mildly, barely looking away from her screen, "I'm just not interested in your whole 'who can uplift the humans better' game with Zim."

"It's not a game, it's friendly rivalry, there's a difference," Anti-Tak sniffed, while Tak's eye twitched at one particular word in that sentence.

"You're… _friends_ with your version of Zim?" she asked slowly, just barely keeping herself from yelling in outrage.

"Well, 'friends' might be too strong a word, but yeah, we get along okay," Anti-Tak replied, oblivious to the disgust on her counterpart's face, "We just have a big difference in views over the best way to uplift a species — Zim thinks he should just solve all their problems for them, while I think they'll only truly prosper if they work things out on their own, so I just leave clues for them to figure out advances at their own pace."

"And I think the whole thing is a total intrusion into an entire species' privacy and autonomy, no matter which way you guys handle it," Anti-Tenn commented, "Like, just let peeps be peeps and handle their own business, that's what I say."

"'Peeps'?" Tenn echoed, incredulous at how laid back her counterpart was acting. She may not have cared much about this ridiculous uplifting policy the Irkens in this universe had, but still, seeing any version of herself act so unprofessional was a slap in the face.

"Ugh, enough with this conversation already. Please just figure out a way to get us back where we belong already," Tak groaned, rubbing her forehead.

"Right, okay. Like I said, we should have this done pretty soon and get you on your way," Anti-Tak said, turning back to her console, "And with any luck, we can do this without Dib finding out… er, _our_ Dib that is. I don't know what yours is like, but if he's anything like ours, letting something as potentially dangerous as a Smarkle Rift fall into his hands is the last thing anyone should want."

Tak and Tenn blinked and exchanged a look at the suddenly ominous tone that Anti-Tak was speaking in.

"Er, what exactly is your Dib like?" Tenn asked hesitantly.

"Trouble. Very, very serious trouble."

_Membrane Neighborhood, Soon After_

"Is it me, or did this walk take twice as long as it should have?" Steve asked as they walked down the street, "Is this version of your house farther away from the park than it is in our reality?"

"No, it's the same distance, it's just taking so much longer because of all the little stops that Anti-Gaz has been making," Dib groused, having quickly moved past shock at his sister's doppelgänger to annoyance at her actions.

" _Anti_ -Gaz?" Steve asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Well, she _is_ the exact opposite of the regular Gaz. I mean, she's so cheerful, she been chatting nonstop since we met, she gave a five-minute speech about the benefits of a primarily granola diet, and she's been stopping to help every since person we've bumped into along the way — I mean, she's literally helping an old lady cross the street right now!" Dib explained, gesturing to where Anti-Gaz was guiding an old woman with a walker across the street.

"Why thank you, dearie, you're such a sweetie," the woman said as they reached the sidewalk, patting Anti-Gaz on the head affectionately.

"Aw, it's no problem," Anti-Gaz replied with a giggle, blushing slightly at the praise.

A snort drew Dib and Steve's attention to Viera, who hadn't said anything since they'd met Anti-Gaz. She appeared to be over the initial shock, but she still didn't look quite right, as she was biting her lower lip rather hard, and her eyes were tearing up slightly.

"You alright?" Steve asked his sister cautiously, a bit concerned at how she was acting. She didn't verbally respond, just nodding her head stiffly as Anti-Gaz skipped back over to their side of the street.

"Sorry about that, I just couldn't _not_ help, ya know?" she asked, "Anyway, let's get to the house, and I'll let my Dib know you're here, and I'm sure he'll be super happy to help you out."

"Thanks," Dib replied, not sure what else to say in this bizarre situation. He and the others followed after Anti-Gaz again, and a few minutes later reached this universe's version of his house… and for some reason, a shiver ran down his spine. Dib couldn't put his finger on it, since the building looked exactly the same as in his own world, but there was something about it that was making warning bells go off in his head.

Before he could process that thought, however, Anti-Gaz had opened the front door and the twins had already entered, so he reluctantly followed. Keeping an eye out as he passed through the threshold, he was pleased to see nothing out of the ordinary, aside from the fact that the living room was lacking any of Gaz's gaming systems or Professor Membrane's various bits of memorabilia. Other than that, it looked the same as his own, yet Dib still had a bad feeling.

"Okay, just wait here and make yourselves at home, and I'll go get Dib and his friends," Anti-Gaz said, before making her way to the stairs. As she disappeared upstairs, Dib and Steve turned towards Viera, whose shoulders were starting to shake.

"Seriously, what's up with you?" Steve asked. In response, Viera gave another snort, before bursting out into uproarious laughter. As the boys blinked and stared in surprise, she doubled over, clutching her stomach as she laughed so hard she practically collapsed.

"Oh God, she's like something out of a Saturday morning cartoon for 5 year olds!" she managed to gasp out between laughs, "Can you imagine how our Gaz would react if she saw this one? Please, one of you remind me to take a picture before we leave!"

"…You think we should be worried?" Steve asked Dib, the pair sharing a look as Viera finally stopped laughing, collapsing onto the couch to catch her breath.

"Nah, she's fine, let her get it out of her system," Dib replied, as he looked around warily, "I'm more concerned about… I don't even know what, but I just have a bad feeling about this whole situation."

"We're in a universe where the darkest, most twisted person I've ever met is so nice it might give me cavities," Viera said dryly, "If she's the standard, what's the worst that could happen?"

As if on cue, beams of light shot out of the ceiling, surrounding the three of them. And before any of them could react, they were pulled into the air and left suspended there, floating several feet above the floor.

"What the hell?!" Dib exclaimed, as he and the twins struggled uselessly against whatever had ahold of them.

"It's a stasis field. I would have thought that would have obvious," a very familiar voice called out from the other side of the room. Managing to twist around in the field beams, Dib and the twins found themselves looking at what they realized were their counterparts in this universe, and were instantly staring in shock.

Dib's counterpart was wearing a white lab coat instead of a black trench coat, and also had a bulbous cybernetic implant surrounded by scars in place of his left eye. Viera's counterpart was wearing a flowing black robe and pointy black witch's hat, while her hair was dyed black with flame-like red designs at the edges of her ponytails. And Steve's counterpart was wearing black pants and matching tank top which was straining against the ridiculously massive muscles he was sporting.

"…Oh my God, this is one of those 'everything's the opposite' mirror universes, isn't it?" Steve groaned, earning him raised eyebrows from everyone else (except his own counterpart, who was staring somewhat blankly into the middle distance).

"How'd you jump to that conclusion?" Dib asked.

"First, your father's a hillbilly farmer instead of the world's smartest man, then your sister is the nicest person in the world instead of the scariest, and now our counterparts are over there looking like a bunch of comicbook supervillain cliches," Steve said dryly, "It's not that much of a stretch."

"Who are you calling a cliche?" Anti-Dib growled, cyber eye glowing red.

"I'm just impressed he can speak in full sentences," Anti-Viera commented, while Anti-Steve merely grunted.

"Okay, getting this back on track," Viera spoke up, "Is there a reason you're holding us prisoner all of a sudden?"

"You're doppelgängers of us who just showed up in my house shortly after a massive burst of cosmic energy," Anti-Dib replied, as a holo-screen appeared next to him displaying a chart overlaid on a map of the city, "So forgive us for being defensive."

"And honestly? You look like a bunch of annoying do-gooders who we'd come into conflict with in short order," Anti-Viera added, "So why not be proactive?"

"'Do-gooders'? So you admit you're evil?" Dib asked.

"Well, if you want to confine yourself to such naive concepts as morality…" Anti-Dib started to say, only for Dib to groan and cut him off.

"Really, a self-righteous philosophical monologue? Okay, we get it, you're evil, you don't have to be a douche too."

Anti-Dib growled at the insult, but took a calming breath before speaking again, "Alright, let's get to the point — why have you come to our reality?"

"It was an accident, and we were hoping you could help us reverse the portal we came through so we can go back," Steve replied, "But honestly right now I'm more concerned you're all going to experiment on us or something."

"Tempting, but let's stay on track," Anti-Viera said with a smirk, before glancing at Anti-Dib, "A portal. Hmm, could that work for that plan we were talking about? The ultimate contingency."

"It might," Anti-Dib mused, pulling out a data pad, "Considering the amounts of cosmic energy being put out, if we can harness it, it should just be enough."

"Enough for what?" Dib demanded.

"Oh, nothing much, just the end of the world," Anti-Dib replied casually, smirking at the shocked looks that received.

"What?!"

"More specifically, using all that energy to collapse the universe and then rebuild it as we see fit," Anti-Dib continued, glancing at his pad for a moment, "Actually, given the circumstances, we should be able to destroy your universe too, and merge it into what's left of ours. A two-for-one deal."

"You're insane!" Viera shouted, which earned an eye roll from her counterpart.

"That's your response? Now who's being cliche?" she snorted.

"What else do you expect us to say to that?" Steve asked, "And what the hell makes you think you can even pull that off?"

"Well, I _am_ a genius," Anti-Dib said smugly, before putting an arm around Anti-Viera's shoulders and pulling her close, "And Viera here is a magnificent sorceress. Together, we're unstoppable."

"Aw, you say the sweetest things, dear," Anti-Viera said with a slight giggle, giving him a peck on the cheek, causing Team Save Earth to all stare at them in disbelief.

"Wait. Are you two… a couple?" Dib asked slowly, earning confused looks from the pair.

"Sure. Aren't you?" Anti-Dib asked, gesturing to his counterpart and Viera.

"No!" Dib and Viera answered in unison. Noticing this, they glanced at each other awkwardly then looked away, both blushing. Steve arched an eyebrow at this, then chose to change the subject before the awkwardness could grow.

"So, you two are 'unstoppable together'? What about him?" he asked, pointing to his own counterpart.

"Steve like hitting stuff," Anti-Steve said, voice slow and deep.

"Yeah, he's mostly the dumb muscle who does the heavy lifting for us," Anti-Viera said with a sigh.

"Which to be fair, does have its benefits," Anti-Dib admitted with a shrug, "Like whenever those meddling fools Zim and Tak get in the way of our plans and he breaks their faces."

"Oh, come on! Zim and Tak are _heroes_ in this universe?" Dib asked with a groan, "This place is _definitely_ going to give me nightmares!"

"No it won't. You'll all be dead soon enough," Anti-Dib said flatly.

"Enjoy your last few hours of existence. We're off to become gods," Anti-Viera said, giving a mock-cheerful wave before snapping her fingers and causing the three of them to disappear in a cloud of black smoke, leaving Team Save Earth alone in the room, still suspended in the stasis beams.

"Yeah, this is how I wanted to die," Viera said dryly, "Vaporized by an insane alternate version of myself collapsing reality."

"We're not going to die, we're going to stop them," Dib reassured, "We just need to figure out a way out of here, and-"

_THUMP_

The stasis beams suddenly shut off without warning, dropping the trio to the floor with yelps and thuds.

"Whoopsie, sorry about that," Anti-Gaz said, from where she was standing next to a control panel in the wall, "I thought that would lower you down, not just shut off all at once like that. You guys alright?"

"Yeah, we're fine," Dib replied as he and twins got back to their feet, "But why are you helping us?"

"Well, it's the right thing to do, duh," she said, "I love my brother, but from the sounds of what I heard, this plan of his is super-duper bad, and I can't let him get away with it. You better go stop him."

"We will. Let's go!" Dib said to his friends as he made his way to the door, the others quickly following.

_Anti-Zim's Base, Same Time_

Zim sat slumped on his counterpart's couch, Skoodge and GIR next to him, the two of them watching the TV while he quietly brooded. Barely paying attention to the Happy Monkey Show (which was somehow even more irritating than the Scary version), he glanced around and saw that they were alone, his counterpart being down in the lab with his GIR working. Frowning, Zim craned his neck to look in the kitchen, and saw only the two Minimooses, laying on the table with a chess set between them, apparently midway through a game.

"Where's Nyx?" Zim asked, noting her absence.

"She grabbed her counterpart and took off," Skoodge explained, "Something about trying to 'inspire her inner anarchist'. Both Yings went with them."

Zim muttered something dismissive at that, while absently tapping his fingers on the armrest. The beat he was tapping slowly increased for several minutes, before he snarled and jumped to his feet, startling Skoodge.

"I can't take this anymore! What is taking that… that Anti-Zim so long?! Is he too busy helping the filthy humans to help me? I should have just handled this myself!" Zim screeched.

"Why didn't you?" Skoodge asked, "I mean, no one said that, uh, 'Anti-Zim' had to do it himself."

"Silence!" Zim snapped, flustered as he realized that oversight. But before he could act on it, the door suddenly burst open; looking towards it revealed an angry-looking Nyx stomping in, Ying following closely behind her, while their counterparts followed at a more sedate pace. And for some reason, all four were covered in soot.

"Dare I ask?" Zim said dryly.

"This _thing_ cannot possibly be a version of me!" Nyx snapped, pointing at Anti-Nyx as the latter slowly closed the door and started brushing off soot with a cloth, "I just spent the last hour putting her through every anarchist trick I know, and she's screwed them all up! I set fires, and she helped put them out; I blew open ATMs at a bank, and she helped the security guards collect the bills before people could run off with them; I blew up a corporate tower, and she helped the owners get all their insurance papers in order! Who even does that?!"

"Following proper procedures is key to productivity and an orderly society," Anti-Nyx replied blandly.

"Grraaah! I hate this place so much!" Nyx growled, tugging at her antennae.

"Try living with the broad," Anti-Ying commented, as he devoured an entire pie in huge bites.

"Are you ever _not_ eating?" Ying asked his counterpart in disgust.

"Nah, not really."

Before the complaining could be continued by anyone, the floor opened up and Anti-Zim emerged from the lab. Anti-GIR was standing stoically at his side holding a large bulky device that looked like an old-fashioned movie projector with a ray gun in place of its lens.

"And voila, it's finished!" Anti-Zim proclaimed, "This neutron flow polarity reverser should invert the effects of the Smarkle Rift and allow you and your friends to head back home."

"Finally," Zim grunted, tossing on his disguise. If Anti-Zim heard the anger in his voice, he didn't react to it, instead throwing on his own disguise (identical to Zim's) and leading the way out the door, the whole group following and the two Minimooses bringing up the rear.

The assemblage made good time, and were soon almost back to the park. As they walked down the street towards it, they were greeted by the sight of Tak, Tenn, and Anti-Tak approaching from the opposite direction, the latter in a holographic disguise identical to her counterpart's save for the colors of her clothes. She was also carrying what looked like a large crystalline tube with a control panel of some kind built into the base.

"You too, huh?" Anti-Tak asked Anti-Zim as they neared each other, neither noticing the glares their counterparts were giving each other.

"Yep. Is that a chronal inversion matrix?"

"Yeah, I figure it should cause the Rift to spit them back into their own reality and then collapse on itself."

"Hmm, not bad. Combined with my polarity reverser, this _should_ completely seal the Rift without a trace."

"It pains me to see them acting like this," Tak muttered to Zim as their groups followed behind their counterparts, who were happily comparing notes.

"For once, Zim agrees with you," he muttered back. Meanwhile, Skoodge looked over the newcomers, and arched an eyebrow as he noted an absence.

"Where's the other you?" he asked Tenn, who rolled her eyes.

"Back at base, doing some kind of yoga," she replied, "Says she couldn't care less about any of this. What about yours?"

"Not even on the planet. Apparently he's some kind of awesome adventurer," Skoodge said, "Shame I can't meet him, but Zim doesn't want to stick around here any longer than necessary."

"I can understand… what the?" Tenn trailed off, as the group reached the park and all stared in confusion. The Smarkle Rift was still there, but it was now surrounded by a ring of machinery, with cables connecting plinths that appeared to be generators of some kind standing at various intervals around the Rift. Floating atop these plinths were crystals, which were pulsing in time with the Rift as streams of energy flowed from it into them.

"Eh? What is this?" Zim demanded.

"I'll tell you what it is," Dib said, the anti-Irkens jumping in surprise as he and the twins ran up, "Our counterparts are insane supervillains who are planning to use the Rift to destroy this universe _and_ ours so they can create a new one and rule over it."

"They're doing what?!" Anti-Zim exclaimed.

"Wow, that's a step up from the usual mayhem they do," Anti-Tak commented, "If I wasn't horrified, I'd be impressed."

"Can they even do that?" Skoodge asked.

"Theoretically, if they can harness enough energy and properly shield themselves, yes," Tenn said nervously.

"Wait, wait, wait," Zim said, looking incredibly confused, "You're saying that this reality's Dib-Stink is evil?"

"Well, 'evil' is a strong word… but he and his friends _do_ call themselves Team Enslave Earth," Anti-Zim said.

"Seriously?" Steve asked, deadpan.

"And they're about to destroy two universes for kicks. Yeah, they're evil," Viera cut in, "Now can we all focus on how we're supposed to stop that?"

"How dare they?!" Zim suddenly yelled, "Zim will not allow anyone — least of all any version of the Dib-Monkey — to destroy Earth before I can! Skoodge, Nyx, let's go!"

With that, Zim bolted towards the Rift, his minions following after him while everyone else watched, in varying levels of exasperation and confusion.

"Wait, what was that last part?" Anti-Zim asked, blinking.

"Never mind, let's just get in there before that idiot screws things up," Tak snapped, also running off, with Tenn and MIMI close behind. After only a moment's hesitation, Team Save Earth and the anti-Irkens followed after.

Meanwhile, Team Enslave Earth were standing off to the side of the ring of machinery they'd built around the Rift. A string of cables ran from the ring to form a smaller one around the three of them, and the glowing mystical array drawn on the ground that they were standing on. As Anti-Viera stood next to him, hands clasped on a skull-shaped amulet and chanting slowly, Anti-Dib carefully examined the pad in his hands, monitoring the energy fields.

"Almost there," he said, "Soon we should have enough energy collected and condensed. Then we can channel it outwards in a destructive wave through both sides of the Rift, while this barrier of yours protects us."

"I _know_ the plan, dear, you don't have to spell it out for me," Anti-Viera snapped, "Now hush and let me focus."

"Fine, keep doing your mumbo-jumbo, as long as it works," Anti-Dib grumbled, earning a glare from his girlfriend. But before she could continue the argument, a plasma blast suddenly slammed into the middle of the circle, the resulting explosion sending the two of them and Anti-Steve flying. They hit the ground a few yards away, and quickly scrambled back to their feet. Looking to the source of the attack, they were greeted by the sight of Zim and his minions, with their counterparts and the others all close behind.

"Huh, now that's weird to look at," Anti-Dib commented, his cybernetic eye whirring slightly as he looked over Zim's group.

"He's calling _us_ weird? Has he looked in a mirror lately?" Skoodge asked, only for Zim to wave him off.

"Zim cares not for the opinion of this fake Dib!" Zim snarled, PAK legs deployed and lifting him into the air, "Especially not with this insulting plan of his — I don't care if he destroys this disgusting reality, but our Earth is mine to destroy! And no one takes what belongs to Zim!"

"Seriously, can we back up and discuss that part again?" Anti-Zim asked.

"Oh, for Irk's sake — in our universe, Irkens conquer planets, instead of wasting time and energy trying to uplift them. I would have thought that was obvious from our reactions," Tak snapped, glaring at her counterpart's scandalized look, "Now can we please focus on stopping this ugly bunch so we can go back where things make sense?!"

"Just try it!" Anti-Dib snarled, pressing a button on his wrist. With a whirring noise, cables shot out of his lab coat and wrapped around him, within minutes encasing him within a miniature mech suit of black metal, with large laser cannons mounted over the wrists of its large fists. Anti-Viera, meanwhile, clasped her skull amulet and barked something in a harsh-sounding language. Black flames ignited in the amulet and burst out to surround her, taking the shape of some kind of demonic harpy, which screeched defiantly at their opponents.

"…Can you do that?" Tenn asked Viera faintly, as everyone stared in surprise.

"No, but I obviously should learn how to," she replied. Steve, meanwhile, looked to his own counterpart to see if he would power-up too. Instead, all he did was flex his large muscles in a threatening manner.

"Well, that's mildly disappointing," he said flatly.

"Less talking, more fighting!" Zim snarled, lunging at Anti-Dib, only to be easily smacked aside by a metal gauntlet. Anti-Dib laughed at this, only for Dib to charge in and slam his own gauntlet into his chest and knock him back several feet. Skoodge, Anti-GIR, and the Minimooses soon followed into the fray, while Zim scrambled back to his feet and joined them.

"Are you two planning on doing anything?" Tenn asked Anti-Tak and Anti-Zim, who were standing off to the side.

"…I usually let GIR and Minimoose handle the fighting for me," Anti-Zim admitted meekly, "I'm more of a planner than a fighter."

"And I'm a pacifist," Anti-Tak added.

"Are you serious?" Tak snarled, "How have those three not conquered or destroyed this Earth yet?!"

"Well, to be fair, most of the time their plans seem to blow up in their faces. And when they don't, it's easy enough to cause them to fall apart without having to resort to violence," Anti-Tak protested.

"Ugh, whatever. Watch a professional at work," Tak snapped, before deploying her PAK legs and charging towards where Tenn and Viera were engaging the latter's fiery counterpart, MIMI zooming after her.

While everyone else was preoccupied with his teammates, Anti-Steve stomped over to his counterpart, who merely arched an eyebrow before whipping out a blaster and discharging a few shots. To his surprise, however, all this did was leave Anti-Steve slightly scorched, and angrier than he already was.

"Uh, can we talk about this?" Steve asked nervously.

"Fake Steve talk too much! Steve smash!" Anti-Steve snarled, bringing his fists slamming down to smash into the ground as Steve jumped out of the way. Rolling across the ground a few feet, he jumped back up and fired off a few more shots as he backpedaled to put distance between them, all to no effect.

"Why isn't this working?!" he yelled, as Anti-Steve advanced on him.

"Ha! Fake Steve weak, because Fake Steve still using thinky part!" Anti-Steve gloated.

"'Thinky part'?"

"Thinky part!" Anti-Steve repeated, jabbing at his forehead, "Steve stop using useless thinky part and focus on being strong, so now Steve stronger than sister or Dib, with their stupid big thinky parts! Steve stronger than anyone!"

"Terribly sorry, sir, but I'd like to test that theory," Ying's voice suddenly cut in. Blinking at that, Anti-Steve turned around, and was promptly uppercut hard enough to be sent flying into a nearby tree. Steve watched, bemused, as Battle Mode Ying, who had delivered the attack, took off after his opponent, before turning to an amused Nyx, who was standing nearby.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why are you helping me?" he asked cautiously.

"Hey, even I'm not crazy enough to deal with the freaky fire monster," she said with a shrug, "And I don't really wanna see if Zim's 'no one kills Dib but me' thing applies to alternate universe versions. So that leaves dealing with muscle-head over here. And what are you two doing?"

That last comment was directed toward Anti-Nyx and Anti-Ying, who were standing nearby. While the latter was leaning against a bench and chugging from a plus-size bag of potato chips, the former was cranking an old-fashioned accountant's calculator.

"I'm keeping track of all damages being done to the park and estimating the restitution we'll need to pay to the city for all of it," she replied.

"You actually _pay_ for the damage you cause?!" Nyx snapped, eye twitching.

"Of course. One must always be held accountable for their actions, and pay their dues for the continuation of a stable society," Anti-Nyx responded, a hint of professional pride creeping into her monotone.

"… _Flirk_ this," Nyx said with a resigned sigh, before suddenly deploying her PAK legs and firing a point-blank plasma burst, instantly vaporizing Anti-Nyx. Steve's jaw dropped at that, while Anti-Ying looked on impassively.

"You've got no idea how long I've wanted to do that," the robot commented.

"Wow, that was a relief. Now let's go do the same thing to other you," Nyx said to Steve, before turning and running off towards where Ying was grappling with Anti-Steve. Steve watched her go, still stunned, before shaking it off and running to join her.

Meanwhile, Viera was trading flames from her amulet with her counterpart's aura, keeping her distracted while Tak, Tenn, and MIMI darted around her, looking for an opening.

"You're too weak to stop me!" Anti-Viera snarled, black flames clashing with red, "I've dedicated the entirety of myself to learning all mystic secrets, without pointless moral restrictions. And now my hard work will be rewarded, as I become sole goddess of a new universe!"

" _Sole_ goddess? What about your boyfriend?" Viera asked, battering away another wave of flames.

"Oh, he'll still be my cute little pet, but I'm not going to share my power with anyone, least of all someone dedicated to useless science," Anti-Viera cackled, "That's why I secretly designed the ritual to channel all the leftover cosmic energy into me after the collapse. Not that I expect a weakling like you to understand my brilliance."

"I understand you're not good at multitasking. Next time, focus on fighting instead of monologuing," Viera replied smugly. Anti-Viera started at that, and looked down to see that while she'd been talking, Viera's amulet had stopped projecting flames and instead started sucking them, taking her own with them. Shrieking, she tried to reverse the flow, but it was too late, and her fiery aura was soon dispersed, returning her to normal.

Before Anti-Viera could react, Tenn dashed forward and punched her in the stomach, folding her over, followed by Tak jumping in to kick her in the face and flip her onto her back. She hit the ground, only for MIMI to then grab her by the ankle and toss her through the air to hit a tree head first, knocking her out.

As Viera and the female Irkens restrained her unconscious counterpart, Dib was engaging his in a fistfight. Anti-Dib's mech's gauntlets were bigger than his own and packed more of a punch, but Dib's being plasma-powered made up for that, especially as they absorbed the attacks from his counterpart's energy cannons. It also helped that Anti-Dib also had to fend off attacks from Zim, Skoodge, Anti-GIR, and the Minimooses.

What _didn't_ do any good was GIR standing off to the side, randomly firing off weapons.

"Whee! I'm helping!" GIR said, shooting a set of rockets that barely avoided hitting the whole group before blowing up some nearby trees.

"No, you are not. Please desist," Anti-GIR commented evenly, casually dodging a plasma blast from one of Anti-Dib's cannons.

"GIR! Do something useful for once and attack the fake Dib-Monkey, you idiot!" Zim snapped, ducking under a stray shot from one of GIR's blasters.

"You're _all_ idiots!" Anti-Dib crowed, as his mech deflected energy attacks from the Minimooses, "I'm the most brilliant mind to ever exist, and I'm not going to be denied my victory by you simpletons! I'm going to create a new universe, one where everyone will be forced to acknowledge my intellectual superiority!"

"Seriously, that's why you're doing this? You're going to destroy two universes just so people will flatter how smart you are?" Dib demanded incredulously, "That's pathetic!"

"Indeed! At least Zim is conquering Earth for my own sake, not to get anyone's approval!" Zim sneered.

"Well, I mean, that used to be why you were doing it," Skoodge said, as he tried to slash Anti-Dib only to be batted away.

"That's how it used to be, so it doesn't count now! Shut up!" Zim snapped, not caring Skoodge was too disoriented to actually hear him.

"All of you shut up!" Anti-Dib roared, firing repeatedly from his wrist cannons. He failed to hit anyone, but they were all driven back. As they scrambled to regain their footing, he advanced on them, ready to finish the fight…

_WHUMP_

And then something slammed into him, knocking his mech off its feet. Blinking, Anti-Dib looked around to see what had hit him, and found Anti-Steve lying a few feet away, with what looked like a swing set wrapped around him. Turning to where he had come from, he saw Steve, Nyx, and Ying approaching, followed by Viera, Tak and Tenn, who dumped the unconscious and tied-up Anti-Viera next to her brother.

"I believe this is the part where you give up," Tak commented with a smirk, as everyone surrounded him.

In response, Anti-Dib snarled and slapped a button that appeared on one wrist. At first, nothing happened, but then the machinery around the Rift started glowing brightly, before several beams of light shot from it and into the mech suit, which started glowing with the same energy.

"Ahahahaha! Behold the might of my genius!" he laughed, "I rigged the array to channel all the excess cosmic energy into me after the collapse — as if I didn't know Viera was planning to do the same thing with her stupid magic — but I'll just take it now, and wipe you all out!"

Without giving anyone a chance to say or do anything, Anti-Dib spread out his palms, firing off energy beams. Everyone just barely got out of the way, as the beams cut car-sized and bus-long gouges through the ground, and returned fire with all their weapons, only for the aurora of energy surrounding Anti-Dib to flare and absorb all of them.

"My brilliance is unstoppable! All of your incompetent fools will fall before me!" he cackled. As everyone else looked on with various levels or apprehension, Zim's eye started twitching.

"No. No, no, no!" he yelled, "Zim refuses! To lose! To a _Dib!_ Minimoose! Use your new weapon upgrades!"

"Nyah!" Zim's Minimoose responded, floating over to hover in front of Anti-Dib.

"Aw, how cute. What's it gonna do, stare me to death?" Anti-Dib laughed… which trailed off as everything except for Minimoose's face dissolved into a series of cables, panels, and moving parts, which shifted around and expanded far more than should have been possible for the moose's size. Within a minute it had all come together, leaving Minimoose's face in the middle of a floating collection of plasma cannons, missiles and various other weapons, all of which were pointed right at Anti-Dib.

"Oh," he said faintly, going pale.

"NYAH!"

_BOOM!_

People walking the streets of Hopesville paused to watch as a mushroom briefly blossomed over the city park, before shrugging it off and going about their day. The only one to pay it any close attention was Anti-Gaz, who was already making her way in that direction. She soon reached the source of the explosion and found all the combatants lying where they'd been knocked over by the force of the blast, and that the machinery and crystals surrounding the Rift had all been blown apart. Meanwhile, her rather scorched brother was lying in the middle of a crater, surrounded by pieces of his mech suit, and with a back-to-normal Minimoose lying next to him.

"Gee, you guys really went all out, didn't you?" she commented as everyone got back to their feet. The prime universe Irkens, seeing her for the first time, did double-takes and stared at her.

"Wow, our Gaz would freak worse than I did," Nyx muttered to Skoodge, who nodded dumbly. Zim merely stared for another moment, before forcing himself to refocus on Minimoose, who was shakily floating over to him.

"Excellent work, Minimoose," he said.

"Nyah!"

"You're right, that was worth the effort to put all that into you, though we did just blow our one use of it all…"

"Nyah!"

"Good point! It was good point for when we vaporize the real Dib's huge head."

"My head's not big!" Dib snapped, echoed weakly by Anti-Dib, before the latter passed out.

"Well, that was certainly a lot more exciting than our usual fights," Anti-Zim commented as he and Anti-Tak walked up and observed the knocked-out Team Enslave Earth, "And now that we've finally beaten Dib and his minions, they can face justice for their crimes!"

"What do you mean, 'we'? You two didn't do anything!" Tak snapped.

"We were providing moral support!" Anti-Tak protested.

"Whatever. Can we just get out of here now?" Tenn asked with a weary sigh.

"Yes, right away," Anti-Zim said, as he and Anti-Tak were handed the equipment they'd dropped earlier, "Thank you, Nyx."

"Of course, sir," Anti-Nyx replied, as her counterpart did a double-take.

"What the hell?! I vaporized you!"

"Yes you did. Fortunately, I have backup clones," Anti-Nyx explained, as blandly as normally, while a screen popped out of her PAK and displayed an image of numerous copies of herself suspended in tubes, "All exactly the same, all ready to perform their duty and serve."

"…Gaaarrrgggh!" Nyx yelled wordlessly, before falling over and kicking spastically at the air as she rolled around in frustration. Everyone stared at this for a moment, before turning their attention back to the more pressing matter at hand.

It took a few minutes, but Anti-Zim and Anti-Tak set up their equipment and activated it. Twin beams of prismatic light shot out of their respective devices, merged together, and then slammed into the Rift. The Rift twisted and contorted, its color patterns shifting.

"There we go. According to my readings, you should now be able to pass back through the Rift and return to your own universe," Anti-Tak said, looking up from a pad.

"Are you sure?" Dib asked. In response, Zim punted GIR, who flew through the air with a happy yell and passed through the Rift without interference.

"It works," Zim said with a nod, "Which means we can now go home and forget this all ever happened. Skoodge, Ying! Grab Minimoose and Nyx!"

Without waiting for a response, Zim jumped through the Rift himself. Ying, carrying a still incoherent Nyx, followed close behind, while Skoodge took a moment to look between the two Minimooses (who had apparently been saying their goodbyes) before grabbing one and jumping into the Rift as well.

"Our turn," Tak said, marching towards the Rift and jumping in, MIMI zooming in after her and Tenn following after merely giving a dismissive nod to the others.

"You'll close this thing behind us, right?" Dib asked, slightly unnerved by talking to a nice Zim but being too tired to care at this point.

"Don't worry, we will," Anti-Zim said, "We don't want anyone else to stumble between universes by mistake, after all."

"Bye! Nice meeting you!" Anti-Gaz commented, as she produced pillows from somewhere and placed them under the heads of the unconscious Team Enslave Earth members.

"That reminds me," Viera said, pulling out her phone and aiming at Anti-Gaz, "Smile!"

Anti-Gaz did so without question, while Viera took her picture. Dib and Steve rolled their eyes but didn't comment; instead, the three of them likewise made their way to the Rift and jumped in. As soon as they disappeared from sight, Anti-Zim and Anti-Tak fiddled with their devices, and the Rift collapsed in on itself, ceasing to exist.

And with that, their universe went back to normal.

_Primary Universe, Same Time_

Team Save Earth popped out of the Rift and watched as it was sealed. Looking around they were greeted only by the sight of the wrecked Harvester, and the rapidly disappearing forms of Tak's team; Zim's group was long gone.

"Well, that was… different," Dib said with a sigh.

"Almost worth it," Viera said with a snicker, looking at the new photo on her phone, which received another eye roll from the boys, "Besides, we stopped Zim and Tak from getting that cosmic energy, so there's that."

"I guess. Come on, let's get out of here before we get blamed for this mess," Dib said, turning to walk away. The twins followed him in silence for a moment, before Steve decided to break it.

"So, are we going to talk about how your guys' counterparts were a couple, or-"

" _No,_ " Dib and Viera said, once again in unison and with matching blushes. Steve snickered at their reactions, but chose not to comment on it.

Meanwhile, Zim's group were making their way back to base. Nyx had recovered her wits enough to walk on her own, while Zim had fallen into a sulk and was stomping his way down the sidewalk.

"Uh, Zim? I'm not completely sure I got the right Minimoose," Skoodge said, looking to where the moose was floating beside him.

"They were identical, it doesn't matter," Zim grumbled.

"Nyah!"

"See, he says so himself!" Zim snapped, before angrily kicking a garbage can, "Gah! I can't believe we had to go through all that nonsense, and we have nothing to show for it!"

"But I gots a souvenir!" GIR said, unzipping his dog costume and rooting around in his head.

"What are you talking…" Zim started to say, only to trail off as GIR pulled out a chunk of crystal roughly the size of Zim's palm, which was faintly pulsing with light.

"Is that part of those crystals the other Dib and his friends were using to steal the cosmic energy from the Rift?" Nyx asked, she and the others staring in shock.

"Yep! Imma gonna put it in my scrapbook!" GIR said, smiling happily.

Zim stared for a moment longer, then grinned widely and snatched the crystal shard out of GIR's hands. Ignoring the robot's whining (he'd forget about it in a minute anyway), Zim started cackling; he still didn't know what he was going to use this energy for, but now he had some he _could_ use.

This was a good day after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. Hope that the length of this chapter made up for the wait, and that you enjoyed everything else.
> 
> If anyone's curious, for the alternate universe characters I took elements from various other fanfics and pics I've seen around the net. Also, I changed Minimoose's sound from a generic squeak to the "Nyah" used in canon because I finally got sick of not lining up with that little detail.
> 
> Well, nothing else to say for now, except to once again wish everyone the best in the middle of the pandemic.
> 
> Please comment!


	8. Space Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyx and Gaz go on a road trip. IN SPACE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the next chapter. Yet another bit of fun filler I've been looking forward to. Don't worry, there'll be more story arc-related stuff coming soon enough, but for now, enjoy the small stuff. I think we all need a little fun right now, with what's happening in the world; once again, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy amidst the pandemic.
> 
> Anyway, going into this chapter, I'd like to remind everyone that the New Adventures version of Gaz is an extension of her mostly one-dimensional show canon self, not the more nuanced comic/movie version. Just something to bear in mind.
> 
> That all being said, read on!

From the outside, it looked to just be another average day at Doomsville Middle Skool. However, inside was a different story, as everyone was buzzing with an excitement not normally seen in the building. And that was because they wouldn't have to actually be there much longer — it was the last day before Spring Break, those glorious two weeks when they wouldn't have to deal with homework, teachers, annoying fellow students, the creepy janitor, or disgusting cafeteria food. All they had to do was get through a few more hours, and then they'd be free.

And while Miss Bitters was using what time she had left to further drone to her students about how Spring Break was just an endless string of debauchery that was only good for momentarily distracting oneself from the meaningless nature of life, Mr. Elliot was putting a more positive spin on things. Which, as far as some of his students were concerned, was just as bad.

"…And that's why you should always remember, sunblock is your friend even if you're in a park and not at the beach," the teacher said cheerfully, while his class blocked him out, all of them paying more rapt attention to the clock on the wall as it approached 3 o'clock.

" _Oh, come on, just let the day end already,_ " Gaz silently mused, shooting a mild death glare at the clock as if that would make it move faster, " _If I have to listen to this moron blather on with his vacation advice much longer, I'll tear his head off, to hell with the consequences._ "

She was hardly the only one feeling this way, she knew. A quick look around showed that Nyx was slumped in her chair looking half-asleep, Tenn was tapping her fingers on her desk rapidly, and everyone else fell somewhere between those two extremes. Even Gaz was feeling herself starting to fidget, when the bell finally rang.

"Okay then, kids, have fun and see you all-" Mr. Elliot started to say, only for everyone to rush out of the room before he could finish.

Maintaining her usual outward calm, Gaz nevertheless walked faster than usual as she made her way down the hall towards the skool's front doors. Reaching them, she watched as Nyx and Tenn traded glares on the sidewalk before the latter walked off.

"Well, at least you two are quiet about how much you hate each other," she commented as she walked up to the anarchist, "Dib, Zim, and Tak would all be shouting insults at eardrum-piercing level by now."

"I'd like to do a lot worse than that, but Zim says I shouldn't do anything that might make people suspicious of us," Nyx replied.

"Like any of these morons would notice if you started blowing stuff up," Gaz snorted, gesturing towards the other skoolchildren heading off in every direction. As the pair started walking down the street, the Goth turned to her friend and asked, "So, any plans of your own for the break, or are you going to help Zim turn everyone into giant mushrooms or something?"

"Why would we do that?" Nyx asked, blinking.

"I dunno, seems kinda like the stupid sort of mindless scheme he'd do," Gaz replied with a shrug. Nyx frowned at the insult towards her idol, but didn't comment on it.

"Anyway, nah, I don't think Zim's got anything big planned. Not soon, in any case," she said instead, "Then again, he doesn't usually tell me in advance. But I'm sure he'll come up with something. What about you?"

"Meh, nothing really. There aren't any new games coming out, so I guess I'm stuck playing my older ones for a while," Gaz replied, frowning in annoyance at the thought.

"Really? That sucks, but I guess that's what happens when you only have a single planet's game companies to count on," Nyx commented casually. Gaz froze mid-step next to her as she heard that, a memory being triggered.

"Hold up," she said, catching Nyx's attention, "When we first met, you told me that there's an entire _planet_ of video games, right?"

"You mean Arcadikon?" Nyx asked, "Yeah, though it's not just video games. There's consoles, arcades, VR setups, interactive battlefield simulators, old-fashioned physical games… pretty much any form of entertainment there is."

"Great. I wanna go there," Gaz said. Nyx blinked slowly as she processed that.

"Really? I thought you didn't care about space stuff?"

"What I don't care about is all these pointless fights you and the others get into, which is all that ever seems to come out of anything related to space," Gaz clarified, "But an entire planet full of every kind of game imaginable? Now _that_ has got my interest, and I want to see it."

"Oh, okay then," Nyx shrugged, "I mean, I'll have to get permission from Zim to go, just in case he does actually need me for anything. But I don't think that'll be a problem, and I'll call you if I get permission."

"Good. See you then," Gaz said. With that, the two split up and went their separate ways down the street.

Nyx soon made her way back to base, entering to find Skoodge and GIR eating snacks on the couch and watching TV, while Minimoose floated aimlessly nearby. As she shut the door behind herself, Ying approached from the kitchen, carrying a tray holding a soda.

"Welcome home, Madame," he greeted as she took the soda, "I trust you had as pleasant a day as possible at the human educational facility?"

"Eh, not bad," Nyx replied, taking a sip and looking around, "Is Zim in the lab?"

"He went down as soon as we got home," Skoodge commented from the couch, "Said he was going to work on 'the Big Plan'. Pretty sure he actually managed to pronounce the capital letters, somehow."

Nyx couldn't help but grin at that. "The Big Plan" was the codename for the plan Zim was putting together based on the data she'd gifted to him (he kept saying he was going to come up with a better one); the thought of him dedicating himself to what she'd provided for him never ceased to give her a warm feeling in her squeedlyspooch.

"Well, I'm going to go talk to him," she said, putting down the soda, "Ying, go warm up the ship and make sure that it's ready for a long-distance flight. If I get permission from Zim, we'll be going on a trip soon."

Ying cocked his head to one side for a moment, before nodding in acknowledgement. Skoodge, meanwhile, looked at her in confusion.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Eh, just a little road trip. I'll explain later," she said as she discarded her disguise and made her way to the trash can elevator. Hopping in, she rode down to the primary lab level and quickly walked towards the main chamber. As she expected, she found Zim sitting at a console, the data scrolling about on the screens while he jotted notes onto a data pad.

Nyx cleared her throat to catch his attention, and he looked up in annoyance at the interruption.

"What? I'm busy," he said tersely.

"Sorry. I was just wondering if you'll me needing me for the next couple of days? I promised Gaz I'd take her to Arcadikon," she explained, Zim's antennae arching in response.

"Really? I didn't realize that your friendship with the Dib-sister had advanced past the point of merely talking during your spare time," he said.

"I guess it has," she said with a shrug, "So, can I take her?"

Zim hummed in thought for a few moments, tapping his fingers against his arm rest, before finally nodding.

"Very well, you have Zim's permission," he said, "This sort of bonding experience should help bond Gaz to you further, and by extension bring her ever closer to being under my command."

Nyx wasn't quite sure that logic followed what she knew of Gaz's personality, but she knew better than to comment on it. Instead, she just smiled widely at him.

"Great, thanks!" she said, "I'll probably only be gone a few days, but I'll call and let you know if it takes any longer."

"Yes, sure, whatever," Zim said distractedly, having already lost interest in the conversation and gone back to his work. However, he paused as something occurred to him and glanced back at her, "Oh, and see if you can't get a view from the ground of how well my message as Miz is spreading. That could be useful intelligence going forward."

"Yes sir!" Nyx said, giving a salute and turning to walk off, mentally going over everything she'd need to get ready for the trip.

This was going to be fun.

_Membrane Household, The Next Day_

Gaz woke up earlier than she usually would on a day without skool, and quickly went through her usual morning routine. She then stuffed a few basic supplies — change of clothes, toothpaste and brush, snacks, a few books, her Game Slave — in a travel bag, before making her way downstairs. Dumping the bag by the front door, she then went to the kitchen and made her breakfast.

As she was chewing through her waffles, Dib came downstairs, having just woken up himself. Seeing her at the table, he stopped and stared at her.

"Since when do you get up early on non-skool days?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I have plans," she replied. And before Dib could ask her to explain, a hover-screen flew into the room, displaying a live video connection to their father.

"Good morning, my children!" the Professor greeted, "I hope you're enjoying the first day of this unnecessary break from your education!"

The siblings both rolled their eyes at that, well aware of how their father felt about the public skool system's yearly schedule. Rather than comment on it, however, Dib merely went to get some cereal, while Gaz took the rare opportunity to actually pass a message to her father directly.

"Hey, dad?" she said, catching the Professor's attention, "A friend invited me to go on a trip. It should only be a couple of days."

"Really? Why, that's wonderful, sweetie! I'm so glad to hear you making friends! Have fun and stay safe," the Professor said, before his screen floated away. Dib, meanwhile, paused in eating his cereal to look at her suspiciously.

"Wait a minute, the only friend you have is Nyx!" he exclaimed.

"How do you know I don't have other friends?" she asked, glaring at him.

"…Do you?"

"Well, no, but you shouldn't have assumed that, jerk," she muttered, swallowing the last of her waffles and then carrying her plate into the kitchen. Dib watched her go, perturbed, before shaking his head.

"Don't try to change the subject," he said, "Where are you going on a trip with her? And why would you want to spend days alone with a psychotic anarchist?"

"Not that it's any of your business," Gaz said, shooting him another glare, "But we're heading to this planet Nyx told me about that's completed dedicated to gaming. And I like hanging out with her because she's fun."

"But she's insane!" Dib protested.

"So what? At least she's not annoying or boring," Gaz said. And before Dib could even try to come up with a counter-argument to that, there was a knock on the front door. With a slight twitch of the lips that might have been a smile, Gaz walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Nyx standing there in her disguise, her ship parked on the front yard.

"Hi! Ready to go?" the Irken asked.

"Yep," Gaz replied, grabbing her bag and waving halfheartedly over her shoulder at Dib, who jumped up from his seat and started marching towards them.

"Now wait a minute! There's no way I'm letting you-" he started to protest, only for Gaz to grab a lamp stand next to the doorway and toss it at him, the impact knocking him flat on his back.

"Whiner," Gaz snapped, Nyx snickering as the two of them made their way to the ship, the side of the van-sized vehicle sliding open to let them enter.

"Welcome, Miss," Ying greeted Gaz as she walked into the slightly roomy space taking up the back of the ship, the robot holding a basket of various snack bags, "Would you care for a snack?"

"Nah, not right now," she said, lightly tossing her bag in the back and joining Nyx in the cockpit, where the Irken was already in the pilot's seat and flicking switches on the control console.

"So, how long will this take?" Gaz asked as she settled in the other chair.

"Should only take about half a day to get there," Nyx said, typing in a command and bringing the engines online, "That gives us a half day on Arcadikon, then rest for the night — they don't have hotels, per se, but they do have designated sleeping areas — then another half day there and half day back. Unless you wanna spend a whole second day there, and we can come back on day three?"

"Eh, I'll wait to see what they have to work with before I make up my mind," Gaz said, getting comfortable. Nyx nodded, and a few moments later the ship took off, soon zooming off into the sky and vanishing from sight.

Meanwhile, Dib had emerged from the house just in time to watch the ship take off. Watching it disappear, he slumped, a frown forming on his face and only deepening as he looked around and saw that there was no one else around.

"Of course there's no one here to see that," he grumbled, "And my ship still isn't working, so I can't follow them. Dammit."

Muttering angrily, Dib walked back into his house and shut the door behind himself.

_Several Hours Later, Deep Space_

Gaz leaned back in her seat, looking out of the ship's viewscreen at the passing stars. Next to her, Nyx was singing along to a song playing on the console's radio, which Gaz could only assume from the lyrics was called "Flibba Dibba Hoinka Smeedge"; she didn't understand what the words meant, but she still found herself nodding along to the beat.

She'd never admit it to anyone, but Gaz was a bit impressed by the sights they passed by while in-between hyperspace jumps. They'd seen nebulae, asteroid fields, gas giants, and other stellar sights she'd expected. But she'd also seen some rather surprising things — pods of giant whale-like creatures, skyscraper-sized swarms of glowing amoebas no bigger than her head, star-shaped crystals the size of cruise ships orbiting each other, and other things she couldn't even properly name.

Of course, they'd also passed what appeared to be giant billboards floating in the void and advertising stuff like "The Galaxy's Largest Space Donut". Apparently roadside attractions were a thing even in space.

"How much longer?" she asked, turning to look at Nyx. The Irken blinked at being addressed, having gotten really wrapped up in the song, and shook her head before answering the question.

"Another couple of hours," she said, "Unless you want to stop somewhere to stretch your legs, maybe take in the sights?"

"No thanks, I don't wanna waste time looking at giant donuts," Gaz replied dryly yet firmly.

Nyx snorted at that, but before she could say anything else, a light started flashing on the console. Frowning, she switched off the radio and hit the light, causing a message to pop up on the console screen.

"Problem?" Gaz asked, being unable to read the Irken writing.

"Nothing major, but looks like we're going to have to make a detour after all," Nyx said dourly.

"What? Why?" Gaz demanded, sitting up straight.

"Another friend of mine just sent a message saying he needs to see me in person, urgently," Nyx said, typing in adjustments to the navigation, "And he's too important an ally to just blow off. So if he says we need to meet up, then we need to meet up. Sorry."

"Seriously? This trip was supposed to be about us having fun, not you meeting up with other people I don't even know!" Gaz snapped with a scowl, not at all happy with the idea of a diversion. Seeing this, Nyx held up a hand to hold off any further outbursts.

"I swear I'll make it as fast as possible," she said quickly, "And then it'll be right back on the way to Arcadikon!"

"…Fine, whatever," Gaz said, leaning back again, crossing her arms and looking away, scowl still firmly in place.

Nyx frowned, not happy at the situation either, but not knowing what else to say. So she just focused on flying the ship, making the quick series of hyperspace jumps that soon brought them to their temporary destination — the overcrowded and rundown cesspool of a planet that was Slumia. Finding a landing spot close to where she was heading but not close enough to risk being seen in the vicinity by any of the sparse local law enforcement (her reputation proceeded her, after all), she brought the ship down in a particularly wide alleyway.

"Okay," she said, as she powered down the engines, "This shouldn't take too long. I'll just head over to my friend's place, see what he wants, and get it out of the way. We'll be outta here before you know it!"

Gaz only grunted, which Nyx took as an affirmation. She then stepped out of the ship, Ying falling into step behind her as she started making her way out of the alley and down the street.

"If you'll forgive me for saying so, Madame, your friend seems to be quite a selfish little brat," Ying commented, Nyx frowning at that.

"Don't be mean. It is a bit much to expect her to just roll over and accept a sudden change to a trip she was looking forward to," she said.

"Perhaps, but she shouldn't act like it's your fault," he countered.

"Maybe," Nyx shrugged, "But anyway, it doesn't matter. Let's go see what Grissom wants, get it over with, and get out of here."

With that, the pair slipped into the street and made their way towards their destination.

Meanwhile, back on the ship, Gaz was still scowling out the screen, grinding her teeth in annoyance at the situation. She hated having to make changes to things she had planned for herself, especially when the cause didn't have anything to directly do with her. And that was the truly annoying thing, the fact that she had no control over this detour interrupting the trip. After all, it wasn't like she could just take the ship and leave… well, she _could_ , but aside from the fact that she had no idea where Arcadikon was, that would mean leaving Nyx behind. And sure, if it were Dib or Zim or anyone else, she wouldn't have cared about that, but Nyx was her only real friend, so that just didn't feel right. And she was already feeling somewhat bad for snapping at her and giving her the cold shoulder, when it wasn't _really_ her fault…

"Ugh, is this what guilt feels like?" she muttered, "This is terrible. Why do people thing that being capable of feeling this is a good thing?"

Deciding to take her mind off of things, and that she was tired of staring at a dirty alley wall, Gaz got out of the chair and started walking towards the back of the ship to retrieve her Game Slave. Before she could reach her bag, however, the ship suddenly shook, sending her stumbling and almost falling over.

"What the hell?" she muttered, running back to the cockpit. Looking out the viewscreen, she saw that several large magnetic clamps had latched onto the rear of the ship, connected to what appeared to be some kind of high-tech truck with hover pads instead of wheels. It was moving away towards the other end of the alley, dragging the ship with it.

"Is… is someone carjacking the ship?" she asked in disbelief, "That's something that actually happens? Ugh, great, this is just what I need on top of everything else. Well, I better go take care of this."

Looking around for a weapon of some kind, Gaz saw something under the console. Reaching for it, she pulled out a metal baton with a button near one end. Arching an eyebrow, she gripped the portion of the baton underneath the button and then pressed it; this caused the other end to extend to twice its length, and start crackling with purple electricity.

"Nice," she said, smirking.

Meanwhile, in the cabin of the truck, a Vortian with a broken off horn was at the controls, an Irken with a series of facial scars seated next to him.

"Hee-hee, can you believe someone left a high-end piece of merchandise like this just lying around, Manax?" the Irken asked, propping an elbow in his door's open window frame.

"Tell me about it, Cavik," the Vortian replied with a smirk, "This thing's gotta be worth thousands of monies! And that's just if we sell it whole; we chop it up for parts and sell 'em individually, we can double the profit!"

The pair laughed at this, but paused as something thudded on the roof of the truck. And before they could even try to see what had caused it, a shock staff suddenly smashed through the windshield and slammed into the main console, which exploded in showers of sparks as it subsequently overloaded. In response, the truck's hover pads fluctuated randomly, causing it to swerve out of control and slam right into a wall before the pads went dead and the truck dropped to the ground.

Everything was quiet for a moment, then the truck's doors popped open and Cavik and Manax fell out onto the pavement.

"Gah, what happened?" Manax groaned, rubbing his horn stump. A sharp whistle sounded in response, drawing the pair's attention to the top of their truck, where Gaz was standing, slowly twirling the shock staff in one hand.

"Hope you guys have insurance," she said with a smirk, gesturing to the crushed front of the truck.

"…The hell are you supposed to be? Some kind of purple monkey?" Cavik asked.

"Who cares? Shoot it!" Manax shouted, whipping out a blaster and opening fire at Gaz.

In response, she casually swung the shock staff, which absorbed and redirected the plasma bolts back at Manax. The Vortian yelped and jumped out of the way, while Cavik deployed his PAK legs and fired several blasts of his own. These, Gaz didn't even try to counter with the staff, instead leaping into the air, flipping over the attack to land on her feet right behind Cavik; before he could react, she spun and slammed the staff into his PAK.

As Cavik fell screaming and twitching to the ground, Manax opened fire on Gaz again. She ducked out of the way of the attack, twisting around to toss the staff at him. It slammed into his shoulder, shocking him and making him drop his blaster. Gaz then charged forward and slammed a fist into the Vortian's stomach, doubling him over, before grabbing his good horn and using that grip to throw him against the opposite wall of the alley. Watching him settle in a slump on the ground, looking like it'd take him a few minutes to get back up, Gaz turned back towards Cavik, seeing that he was getting back to his feet. Smirking again, she started walking towards where the shock staff had landed… when a metal sphere the size of a basketball suddenly fell from nowhere and landed on the ground between them.

"What the…?" was all Gaz managed to say, before the sphere popped open and unleashed a shockwave of magenta energy. It slammed into Gaz and Cavik so hard that both were sent flying to slam into the alley's walls, while Manax was actually lifted up from his slump before being slammed into the wall as well. All three were kept pinned in place for several minutes as wave after wave of energy buffeted them, before the sphere finally shut off, allowing all three of them to collapse to the ground, either completely unconscious or right on the edge of it.

As the sphere shut off, a pair of hover bikes descended from the sky, each carrying an Irken security officer. Reaching the ground, they hopped off the bikes, one of them standing guard with a plasma rifle while his partner walked over to examine the crashed truck.

"Aha, told you this looked suspicious!" he crowed as he finished his inspection, "No towing or scavenging licenses. This was a jacking, not anything official."

"Yeah? Well I still say that we should have come down here and confirmed that before dropping a stun sphere, but whatever," his partner said with a shrug, while looking around, "So, what happened? They get into a fight over the ship and crash or something?"

"Probably. I mean, it looks pretty expensive," the first officer said, before pausing as he noticed Gaz, "Huh? What's this thing?"

His partner joined him, and they looked down at the mostly unconscious human in confusion.

"I don't recognize the species. Do you?" the second officer said, nudging Gaz lightly with his boot.

"Nope. And there's nothing on the Irk-Net databases either," the first officer said, checking a data pad extending from his PAK. As he did that, the second reached down to lift Gaz's head to examine her more closely… and acting purely on reflex, she proceeded to bite down on his hand.

"Ow!" he yelped, ripping his hand from her grip and letting her head fall back down, as she finally slipped fully out of consciousness, "It bit me! Who does that?!"

"It's probably just some animal then, if it's acting like that," his partner said, looking Gaz over from a safe distance, "I don't see a collar, though, so I don't think it's a pet. Someone probably smuggled it on planet, and then it got loose."

"Well, I'm sure not letting the Irk damned thing keep wandering around," the first officer said, glaring at Gaz as he clutched his injured hand, "Call the Animal Catcher."

"…Do we have to? That guy's so weird," the second officer groaned.

"Just do it," the first officer snapped, as he took out some cuffs, "Then we can get these two booked. With any luck, they're on the Green Claw payroll and we can get our hands greased letting them go. Now get to it."

The second guard didn't bother protesting, just sighing and pulling out a communicator while his partner went about restraining Cavik and Manax.

_The Black Hole Casino, Shortly After_

Reaching the Black Hole, Nyx and Ying quickly made their way through the crowds to the private elevator at the back of the building. The guards flanking it, recognizing Nyx, merely nodded at her as she entered and started ascending towards the penthouse.

On the way up, Nyx reflected on what she'd seen on her brief journey from the ship to here. Specifically, the numerous examples of NIO graffiti tagging various buildings, ranging from merely the symbol to messages like "Miz Rulez!" or "Down with the Tallest". And judging by the signs of recent damage she'd also passed by, there'd been a riot sometime in the last few days, maybe several.

" _Zim will be happy to hear about this,_ " she mused, " _Then again, Slumia is a backwater, so the population supporting us here only does so much. Arcadikon is more of a commercial hub; seeing what kind of support we have there will be a better measure of things._ "

Nyx was pulled from her thoughts as the elevator reached its destination and the doors slid open. Walking out of the elevator and down a short corridor, she passed through a pair of elaborate doors into Grissom's office, finding the green-suited gangster seated behind his desk.

"Nyx, my dear! So good to see you in person again," he said cheerfully, standing up and taking off his hat to give a melodramatic bow, "Please have a seat."

"Yeah, yeah, good to see you too, Grissom," she said, dropping into the chair in front of the desk, "But can we make this quick? I was in the middle of a trip with a friend."

"Ah, I was wondering how you got here so fast," Grissom said as he sat back down, "Sorry to interrupt your fun, but I find myself in need of your particular set of skills."

"In other words, you require the Madame to blow something up," Ying commented from his spot next to Nyx's chair.

"Precisely!" Grissom said with a grin, "More specifically, I need something blown up in such a way that it won't be tied back to me. The act itself would be good for business, but culpability for it wouldn't be."

"I know how this works, Grissom, it's not the first time you've hired me for this stuff, remember?" Nyx said, rolling her eyes.

"True, but it's been a while, and I know you don't have the universe's best attention span," Grissom replied dryly.

"Hey!"

"Moving on to the point," Grissom said with a chuckle, ignoring Nyx's indignation and tapping a command onto his desk's touchscreen surface. In response, a hologram of a planet, its surface colored in alternating strips of pink, while several orbital screens proclaimed "We Are Open".

"Foodcourtia?" Nyx asked, arching an antenna.

"Yes. I own the protection racket on the planet, which has been seeing a boom lately, ever since Miz's broadcasts started agitating the Irken portion of the population," Grissom explained, Nyx biting back on a smirk upon hearing that, "But recently, another gang has nabbed a foothold and is starting to muscle in on my territory. And that's where you come in."

"Your soldiers can't take care of it themselves? I thought you hired heavy muscle."

"I do, but these guys apparently bought off the planetary governor," Grissom explained, "Admittedly, I did too, but these guys were clever — while I've been profiting from everyone else's reactions to the unrest Miz is causing, they're pandering to the Empire over it. Apparently, in exchange for a promise of cracking down on Miz sympathizers for the government, they're being granted immunity for their crimes and high-end military-grade weaponry, above what I have access to. Plus, if I make a move to act against them, the government will know it's me and act against me."

"But I'm a freelance anarchistic terrorist, so no one will question it if I decide to blow them all up," Nyx commented, "Fine, I'll do it. Do you have any specific information on them?"

"Of course," Grissom replied, pressing a button on his desk. Moments later, the office doors opened and Grissom's assistant, a red-eyed female Irken, entered the room, "Lidette, please retrieve everything we have on that new Foodcourtia gang."

"Of course, sir," she said, nodding in acknowledgement, before handing him a data pad, "This just came in from the local security garrison, by the way. Minor criminal conduct in our territory by non-members of the syndicate."

Grissom frowned at that, taking the pad from Lidette and looking it over as she left the room again. Nyx, meanwhile, couldn't help but pity whoever was stupid enough to pull a job on the Green Claws' turf without their approval; the syndicate was rather notorious for retribution on that sort of thing.

"Uh, Nyx?" Grissom suddenly said, sounding nervous, "Your ship is a modified Mark 3 Magda Cruiser, right?"

"Yeah. Why?" Nyx asked, confused by the subject change.

"Well, it looks like someone just tried to jack it," Grissom replied, turning the pad to show an image of Nyx's ship hooked up to a hover truck.

"What?!" Nyx yelled, jumping to her feet and face twisting in anger.

"Calm down," Grissom said quickly, holding up his hands placatingly, "The local security forces — who are very much in my pocket, I assure you — have apprehended the culprits and impounded the ship. I can easily have it released free of charge to yourself, and if it makes you feel any better, you can have a crack at the perpetrators when I have them brought here for punishment."

"Yeah, fine, that works," Nyx said, before her eyes widened as something occurred to her, "Wait, what about Gaz?"

"Who?" Grissom blinked.

"My friend who was traveling with me. She stayed with the ship while I came here to see you," Nyx explained, feeling panic start to bubble up.

"Hmm, nothing about her here," Grissom said, checking the pad, "But I'm sure they probably took her into custody too as a precaution. I'll just tell them to bring everyone involved over here."

"Thanks," Nyx muttered, collapsing back into her chair and slumping. Ying leaned over and placed a comforting hand on her knee.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Madame," he said, "My feelings on her personality aside, Miss Membrane is more than capable of taking care of herself."

"You're right," Nyx said after a moment, smiling slightly at that, "I'm sure she's just fine."

_Slumia Central Pound, Same Time_

Gaz groaned as she regained consciousness, head pounding.

"Ugh, what hit me?" she muttered, rubbing her head and sitting up… only to almost immediately bump against something, "Ow! What the hell?"

The impact knocking her fully awake, Gaz forced her eyes open, and then they actually opened completely in surprise as she took in her surroundings. She was sitting in a metal cage that was barely bigger than she was, giving her maybe a foot of extra space in any direction; if she sat in a crouch, she'd be able to avoiding bumping her head against the low ceiling. The back of the cell was a blank metal wall, but the front was an opening covered by a laser grid too tight for her to fit more than her fingers through, while the two walls to the sides were a strong-looking metal mesh. Through that mesh, she could see more cells, the one to her left containing a two-headed orange bird slightly smaller than herself, and the one to the right holding a green blob covered in eyes which filled the entire cell.

"Where am I?" she immediately demanded, glaring at the other creatures.

"Ark! Ark!" the bird thing chirped in response, while the blob merely gurgled.

"Well, that's useless," Gaz muttered. Rolling around as much as she could in the cramped space, Gaz got onto her hands and knees and crawled to the front of the cage. Getting as close as possible to the laser grid, she peered through it to see what was outside the cages, finding a large room, both walls lined from floor to ceiling with identical cages, all of them filled with a wide variety of bizarre alien creatures.

"Is this some kind of alien jail? Why am _I_ here then? It was those two morons who were stealing the ship!" Gaz growled, before raising her voice, "Hey! Whoever's in charge here, let me out right now!"

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, just when Gaz was about to shout again, a door at the end of the room was flung open, and a large alien entered the room. It was about ten feet tall, and looked like a humanoid frog, with yellow skin, a large head, and big bulging green eyes, wearing a red bodysuit with the emblem of a collar and leash on the chest. Next to the emblem was a name tag which read "LEASHLOR THE RELENTLESS".

"Hello, my pretties! Are we all having a good morning?" the alien asked in a deep yet chipper voice with a slight croak, getting various noises from the other cell inhabitants in response.

"Hey! You!" Gaz snapped, the alien blinking at the sound and looking down at her, "Get me out of here right now, or I-"

"Wow, you can talk?" Leashlor said in excitement, "What a neat trick! You'll make someone a great pet!"

"…Pet?" Gaz echoed slowly, not sure she'd heard him right.

"Yep! We here at the Central Pound have a long and proud tradition of finding happy homes for all the animals we take in."

"This is a _pound?_ " Gaz asked in disbelief, "And what do you mean 'animal'? I'm a person, not a damn animal!"

"Well, I admit I don't recognize your species, but the nice Irken security officers brought you here instead of a jail, so you _must_ be an animal," Leashlor replied, "And as this planet's Chief Animal Catcher, it's my job to keep all wild animals locked up until they can be claimed by new owners."

"But I'm talking. We're having an actual conversation," Gaz pointed out, dumbfounded at the alien's attitude, "That means I'm a person! Those stupid space cops or whatever who dropped me here obviously made a mistake!"

"Security officers don't make mistakes. If they did, they wouldn't be any good at their jobs, so they'd quit and get other jobs that they'd be good at," Leashlor said, sounding as if he'd just said something completely obvious. The sheer stupidity he was displaying was making Gaz's eye twitch.

"You know what, I'm done with this crap. Let me out right now, or when I eventually get out on my own, I'll rip your limbs off and shove them down your throat!" she snarled at him. Leashlor blinked at that and stared at her for a few moments, before reaching into a pocket and pulling out a remote. He aimed it at Gaz's cage and pressed a button, and the laser grid disappeared. Gaz smirked at that — and then Leashlor lashed out with surprising speed and wrapped a hand around Gaz's torso in an iron grip.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" she demanded, struggling futilely as Leashlor lifted her out of the cage and held her aloft in the air. He didn't respond, instead walking over to a corner of the room that Gaz hadn't been able to see from her cage, where a desk and several filing cabinets were set up. Opening one of the cabinet drawers, he rustled around in it with his free hand; he soon pulled out a metallic strap, and before Gaz could get a good look at it, he slapped in onto her neck.

"Gah! What?" Gaz yelped, as the strap wrapped around her neck and locked into place with a click, followed by several short spikes popping out around its circumference. Gaz blinked in incomprehension as she registered what had happened, before she caught a glimpse of herself in a small mirror on the desk, and it fully dawned on her what Leashlor had just done.

"Did… did you just put a _collar_ on me?!" she exclaimed, glaring at the alien.

"Yep!" he replied brightly, "Just a little warning to your prospective owners that you have a temper. Our policy here is to give fair warning of that sort of thing."

"Goddammit, seriously?!" Gaz yelled in utter disbelief, "What's it gonna take to get this through your thick head?! I. Am. Not. An. Animal!"

"You're being held here in the pound, and you're wearing a collar. You look like one to me," Leashlor replied, sounding slightly smug, as if he'd just proved a massive point.

"You just put this thing on me yourself! Like 20 seconds ago!"

"I put it on you _because_ you're animal, which is why you're in here," Leashlor said, "You wouldn't be here if you weren't an animal, and if you weren't an animal you wouldn't need a collar."

Gaz felt her brain tying itself into knots trying to understand the logic that Leashlor was operating on. In what way did any of that justify treating a clearly sentient being like a stray dog or something?

"Anyway, now that that's out of the way, we can get down to business," Leashlor said, "Since you're properly awake, we can get you groomed."

"Groomed?" Gaz sputtered.

"Of course, we need you looking your best for when potential owners show up," Leashlor stated, "And frankly, you look like you could use it."

With that, Leashlor carried Gaz off to a back room, ignoring her offended protests and death threats. It was, in his mind, all in a day's work.

_The Black Hole Casino, Same Time_

Lidette had brought in a data pad containing copies of everything the Green Claws had on their new rivals, but she'd barely glanced at it, unable to focus on it. Instead, she just handed it off to Ying and sat fidgeting in her chair, foot tapping anxiously against the floor.

"Would you please calm down?" Grissom said, pouring himself a glass of Vortian fire whiskey, "I'm sure everything's fine."

"She's my friend, she's here because of me, that makes her well-being my responsibility," Nyx said, trying not to snap at him. That wouldn't help matters any.

"I understand, but I told you, I have things well in hand," Grissom said, a slight smirk crossing his features, "I own this planet. Nothing happens here without my say-so. And if it does, I strike down on the perpetrators like a wrathful god."

"Your humility is inspiring, sir," Ying commented, actually managing to earn a snort from Nyx, while Grissom merely shrugged, conceding the point. Then there was a beeping from the desk. Looking to its screen, Grissom nodded and typed in a command, before looking to Nyx with a smile.

"And behold, they've arrived," he said, Nyx instantly perking up. She jumped up from her chair and turned to face the doors, which opened a few minutes later. A group of large Irkens holding blaster rifles and wearing the trademark green armbands of the Green Claw Syndicate entered the room, flanking a pair of regular Irken security officers, and a pair of prisoners — an Irken and a Vortian — who were handcuffed and gagged.

But there was no sign of Gaz, Nyx noted with a frown.

"Hey, Grissom," one of the officers greeted, sounding slightly smug, "Well, here are the two dumb _kisgarees_ who thought operating on your turf without your permission was a good idea. Now, I believe the standard price for this kind of delivery is-"

"Where is she?" Nyx demanded, cutting off the officer as she walked up to glare at him directly from only a couple of feet away.

"Wha? Who?" the officer said, blinking in confusion.

"My friend," Nyx growled, frustration building as she held a hand up, "Yay tall, purple hair, black dress, permanent expression of 'I will kill you if you annoy me' on her face. Ring any bells?"

"That was a person?" the other officer blurted out, he and his partner traded worried looks.

"Yes, she's a person! Now where is she?!" Nyx demanded, PAK legs deploying so she could tower over the officers threateningly.

"He sent her to the pound!" the first officer shouted, pointing to his partner, while Nyx's eyes widened.

"You did what?!" she screamed, while all the Green Claws took cautious steps backwards.

"You're the one who said she was an animal!" the second officer protested, glaring at the first one.

"It's not my fault the Irk-Net didn't recognize her as a sentient species!"

"Yeah, well I-AK!"

The officers' argument was cut off as Nyx suddenly grabbed them both by the throat. Ignoring their gurgled protests, she carried them over to Grissom's balcony and promptly tossed them over it. They fell several stories with twin screams, which came to a sudden stop as the pair landed in a large fountain in the middle of the room.

"Were you aware that was there, Madame?" Ying asked, peering over the edge of the balcony.

"Nope," Nyx said flatly, while noticing that the casino patrons were ignoring the officers floundering in the fountain, "And how come no one is reacting to a couple of guys getting tossed off this balcony?"

"You think this is the first time that's happened?" Grissom asked, as he scribbled something on a scrap of paper, then got up from the desk and walked over to hand it to her, "Here's the address of the central pound. That's the one they most likely sent your friend to."

"Thanks," Nyx said, taking the paper from him and walking out of the room. Grissom watched her go, before turning to the captive Cavik and Manax, a slightly sadistic gleam entering his eyes.

"Well, gentlemen, now that we have the room to ourselves, let's discuss how you not only operated without my consent, but in doing so tried to rob a friend of mine," he said. At a gesture from him, his men put away their blasters and pulled out a variety of blunt objects.

The sounds on the casino floor drowned out most of the subsequent screams.

_Slumia Central Pound, Soon After_

Gaz sat crosslegged in her cage, arms crossed and a scowl on her face as she glared at nothing, stewing in her anger.

The "grooming" that Leashlor had put her through had been the most humiliating experience of her life. He'd tossed her in a glass box that was barely bigger than the cage, where she'd been sprayed down with several high-pressure streams of some kind of pink liquid soap which smelled like daisies, a scent she couldn't stand. And while she'd been sputtering for breath, he'd run a wire brush all over her, which had been mildly painful, but more annoying than anything. No, what had really crossed the line had been how he'd then taken her carefully-maintained monster jaw-style hairdo and put it all up into braids, of all things, with several ribbons tied into them. _Pink_ ribbons!

And for some reason, he'd then splattered glitter all over her. Honestly, it felt like he was treating her more like a doll than a pet at that point.

" _I guess I should consider myself lucky that moron hasn't realized my clothes aren't part of my body,_ " she mused, " _Otherwise he'd probably change me into some kind of pink abomination of a dress. Still, I_ will _kill him for this._ "

As if on cue, Leashlor reentered the room, now carrying a large bag of some kind, marked with symbols Gaz couldn't read.

"Lunchtime, my pretties!" the moronic Animal Catcher announced. Pressing a button on his remote control caused a tube to pop up from the floor, into which he poured the contents of the bag. Moments later, following the sounds of machines whirring, panels opened in the floor of all the cages, out of which emerged bowls filled with some kind of purple sludge.

While the alien animals all happily chugged away at the contents of their bowls, Gaz stared at hers in disgust, before turning her glare on Leashlor.

"There is no way I'm eating this," she said flatly.

"But you have to if you want to grow big and strong and get a nice shiny coat. Like my mama always said when she was Chief Animal Catcher, a well-fed pet is a happy pet," Leashlor said, sighing respectfully and bowing his head towards a portrait on the wall that Gaz had overlooked, which depicted another alien identical to Leashlor, except with blue skin, pink eyes, and a name tag which read "TAMMY THE RELENTLESS".

"Is 'the Relentless' a title that goes with the job or something?" Gaz asked, mildly curious.

"Nope, it's a family name," Leashlor said happily, before frowning at her, "Now, are you going to be a good girl and eat on your own, or do I have to make you?"

"Try it, and I'll be the one feeding you," Gaz snarled, "Specifically, your own organs."

"I guess it's going to be the hard way, then," Leashlor sighed, turning towards his desk, "You just hold still while I get the funnel, and then-"

_BOOM_

Leashlor was rocked back on his heels as the front of the room suddenly exploded. As the smoke cleared, Nyx marched into view, Ying at her side as she glared up at Leashlor.

"…That door wasn't locked," he commented after a moment, looking down at her curiously.

"I don't care," Nyx replied flatly, "I'm here for my friend. Let her go, or I'll be blowing up more than your entrance."

"What took you so long?!" Gaz called out.

"Sorry! I swear I just found out about this!" Nyx called back, not breaking eye contact with Leashlor.

"Oh, are you her owner?" Leashlor asked, "You should have said so. And kept her properly tagged before letting her out of the house."

"What?" Nyx asked, blinking in confusion at Leashlor's statement, "What are you talking about? She's not a pet, she's a person!"

"I've been telling him that since I got here. He doesn't care," Gaz sighed, already knowing what Leashlor was going to say.

"She was registered as an animal, that makes her an animal, no matter what she says," Leashlor said, crossing his arms and staring Nyx down, "Now, are you going to fill out the paperwork to get her out of here properly, or am I going to have to kick you out of here?"

Nyx stared at him for a few moments, before sighing and pinching the space between her eyes.

"I don't have the patience for this. Ying, would you?"

"Of course, Madame," Ying said, shifting into Battle Mode. Before Leashlor could process this, Ying lashed out with a vicious uppercut, sending the Animal Catcher flying upwards, his head smashing through the ceiling. He dangled there for several seconds, before the section of ceiling surrounding him collapsed, dropping him to the floor and burying him in ceramic, plaster, and insulation.

Walking over to the groaning and mostly unconscious Leashlor, Nyx patted him down until she found his remote. Studying it for a moment, she pressed a button, and the laser grid on Gaz's cage shut off, the human immediately scrambling out of it. Upon reaching the floor, she turned to glare at Nyx.

"Do you have _any_ idea what I've been through the last few hours?" she demanded.

"Kinda?" Nyx said awkwardly, looking Gaz over, "Uh, nice ribbons?"

Gaz blinked at that, before she remembered the monstrosity her hair had been turned into. Scowling, she ripped the ribbons out and pulled her hair out of the braids; it left her hair a ragged mess, but frankly that was an improvement. As for the glitter, she rubbed what she could off of her face, but wrote off the majority as a lost cause for the moment.

"Come on, let's get out of here," she said, walking past Nyx, "I need to go find those idiot cops who sent me here."

"Oh, don't worry about them, I tossed them off a balcony when I heard what they did," Nyx said, turning to follow her, "And the ship jackers whose fault this all was in the first place… well, considering where I left them, I doubt they're having a much better time."

Gaz paused in mid-step as she heard that, before actually snorting in amusement at the mental images.

"Well, that's satisfying. Speaking of which, I just had an idea. Hand me that remote," she said, holding out a hand. Nyx arched an antenna, but complied, handing over Leashlor's remote. Taking it in hand, Gaz also grabbed the bag of pet food from where the Animal Catcher had set it down and walked over to where he was still buried under the rubble. She then proceeded to dump all the sludge left in the bag onto him, before hitting several buttons on the remote and shutting off the lasers on every single cage. As she expected, every animal leapt out and descended on Leashlor.

Gaz took a few minutes to enjoy the alien's screams as the animals in his care bite into him in their eagerness to get all the food off of him, before turning again and once more heading towards the hole in the wall where the exit used to be. Nyx and Ying followed her, none of them giving Leashlor a second glance.

_Slumia Sewers, A While Later_

After a brief detour to the secure (as in, Green Claw-controlled) parking lot where Nyx's ship was now being stored in order to pick up Gaz's spare clothes, Nyx had then led her to the hidden bunker that the anarchist had used as a base before first traveling to Earth. While not happy about the location, Gaz was more than willing to accept the use of the bunker's shower to wash off the glitter and lingering scent of whatever Leashlor had washed her with. Though she was in such a hurry to do so that she somehow managed to overlook a much bigger lingering mark of what he'd put her through.

Namely the collar. Which wouldn't come off.

"Seriously? I thought Irkens were super high-tech, and you can't unlock this thing?" Gaz grumbled, as she sat on a stool and let Nyx poke around on the collar with a set of tools.

"I'm trying, but this thing is crazy advanced," Nyx said, prodding at a circuit cluster with a micro-welder, "Seriously, how did that guy even afford something like this? And who puts tech this advanced into a nonessential field like catching stray animals? Seems like a total waste of-"

_ZAP_

There was a sudden surge of sparks from the collar, and the tools went flying out of Nyx's hands to embed themselves in a wall. Nyx and Gaz stared at the new wall ornaments in silence for a few moments, before Nyx broke it.

"Well, that's not a good sign," she said, rubbing the back of her head and looking at Gaz awkwardly, "I don't think I'll be able to get it off. Unless you're willing to let me try a plasma cutter on it."

Gaz flinched at the thought of something like being near her face and neck. Frowning in contemplation, she felt the collar with a finger, glancing at a mirror and taking a good look at how she looked with it on.

"You know what? Forget it. It looks pretty cool, as long as no one knows how I got it," she eventually said, Nyx sighing in relief.

"Well, I'm glad that's settled," she said, "Now we can get back to the trip."

"Madame, you seem to be forgetting your promise to deal with Grissom's problem on Foodcourtia," Ying spoke up.

"Hey, he just said he wanted it taken care of, he didn't say it had to be right away," Nyx said, waving it off.

"The favor you had to come to this planet for just sends you to a _different_ planet?" Gaz asked in mild disbelief.

"Well to be honest, I mostly just had to come here to find out what the favor actually was, and it just happens to require going to another planet to fulfill," Nyx replied, "But like I said, it can wait. I promised you a fun trip, and after what you've been through already today, I'm not going to make you wait any longer just so I can blow up some losers when that's not a priority."

"…'Blow up some losers'?" Gaz echoed, cracking open an eye to look at Nyx inquisitively, "You know what? I want in on that."

"Really?" Nyx blinked, "But I thought you just wanted to go to Arcadikon?"

"I still do, but honestly? Blowing stuff up sounds like a great way to vent a little over what happened earlier," Gaz said, "Besides, Ying said it was on some food court planet. I'm guessing they have pizza?"

"They have everything. Can't promise it's as good as what you're used to," Nyx replied with a shrug.

"Then we can grab lunch, deal with these losers for your friend, and _then_ get back on the way to Arcadikon," Gaz said, getting up from her seat.

"Sweet! Let's go," Nyx declared, turning to the exit, Ying and Gaz following behind her.

_Foodcourtia, A Few Hours Later_

Nyx and Gaz walked down the streets of Foodcourtia, Ying trailing by a respectful distance. The crowds of various aliens also on the street passed by without paying them any mind, aside from the occasional curious glance at Gaz, but most of those shrugged it off upon seeing her collar and writing her off as a pet. Those that didn't received side-eyed death glares from her and quickly looked away.

"Hmph, not bad," Gaz commented, chewing away at a slice of pizza topped with slices of some kind of alien meat, "Glad it doesn't taste like pork. I haven't been able to stand that since the whole Pig Girl thing."

"Yeah, I remember you telling me about that. Sounds pretty terrible," Nyx said, as she looked around. The NIO graffiti wasn't as widespread here as it was on Slumia, and what little she'd seen was being scrubbed away by Janitorial Drones under the strict eye of security officers, but it was present. And while she couldn't see any clear signs of recent riots, there was a certain nervous energy she detected at the pizza restaurant they'd stopped at which led her to believe that things weren't as stable as they looked on the surface.

"Honestly? It was more embarrassing than anything, being made into a spectacle like that," Gaz replied, shuddering at the memory. Shaking it off, she asked, "So, who are these people we're looking for again?"

"Er, to be honest, I wasn't paying that much attention," Nyx admitted awkwardly, "Ying, did you grab the file Grissom gave us?"

"Of course, Madame," Ying said, holding up the data pad and looking it over, "The group we're looking for is known as the Happy Fun Times Death Clan."

Both girls paused and turned to stare at him incredulously.

"You're kidding, right?" Gaz asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I am not," Ying said, "I don't understand it myself, but that is apparently what they have decided to call themselves. And they are evidently headquartered in a warehouse a few blocks from here."

"Right then, let's go find the stupidly-named gangsters then," Gaz said, finishing the last of her pizza and tossing the paper plate into a nearby trash can, the three continuing towards their destination. As they turned a particular corner, however, Gaz paused as something caught her eye.

"Is there a reason Zim's face is plastered all over that restaurant's billboards?" she asked. Nyx blinked and followed Gaz's pointing finger to the restaurant in question, which had a large model of some kind of creature stuffing its mouth sitting on the roof. And, as Gaz had said, several floating screens surrounding the building were displaying an unflattering image of Zim, along with the word "Wanted" in Irken lettering.

"Oh. That must be where Zim got exiled to work the first time the Tallest tried to get rid of him," Nyx said, frowning at the restaurant and the insult it represented to her idol, "He was demoted to Food Service Drone and made to slave away serving every disgusting slob that entered that place, until he finally escaped to join Impending Doom 2."

"Huh. Guess they're still bitter about that," Gaz commented, before shrugging, having lost interest.

"Yeah," Nyx said flatly, still frowning, "Do me a favor and remind me to do something about that place before we leave. I think Zim would appreciate it."

"Sure, whatever," Gaz replied halfheartedly, not really caring.

The trio continued on their way, turning several corners and crossing several more streets, before finally reaching their destination. Standing across the street they observed the building, a warehouse the size of a large aircraft hanger, patches of rust dotting the purple metal it was constructed of. And, oddly, various bits of graffiti depicting what appeared to be angry clown faces. The girls exchanged a look, then carefully crept across the street along the side of the warehouse until they reached a window, Ying shifting into Battle Mode and lifting them up so they could see through it. Peering through the window, they saw that the interior of the warehouse was filled with various stacks of crates, some of which were open or partially open to reveal weapons, food, and other contraband, which was being looked over by a group of about two or three dozen Irkens.

All of whom, for some reason, were dressed up like clowns, complete with makeup and wigs.

"…The hell kind of gang dresses up like clowns?" Gaz asked, eyeing the scene before her in disbelief.

"I dunno. I mean, I've seen some weird stuff over the years, but this…" Nyx said, trailing off in confusion. Shaking it off, she then said, "Anyway, it doesn't matter what they look like, they're still dangerous. Probably."

"Meh, I think we can handle it," Gaz said, taking out the shock staff and activating it, while Nyx blinked in surprise.

"Did you take that off my ship?"

"Yeah, I used it on Slumia against those guys trying to steal the ship, figured I could use it here too," Gaz replied, before shooting a smirk at her friend, "Shall we?"

"Let's," Nyx replied with a smirk of her own, pulling out My Little Friend.

Meanwhile, inside the warehouse, one of the clown-costumed Irkens was looking over a clipboard, while his associates were taking stock of the boxes surrounding them.

"Looks like everything's here that was promised, boss," one of the other gangsters said, looking up from crate of plasma rocket launchers.

"Good to know the government's so eager to help us out," the chief clown said, looking up from his clipboard with a grin, "This should be more than enough to take out the Green Claws, those NIO freaks, and anyone else who tries to get in our way. This planet's ours now, boys, and nobody's gonna stop us!"

_BOOM!_

One of the walls suddenly exploded, the force of it knocking over most of the gangsters. As debris fell and the smoke cleared, they scrambled to their feet and looked to the source of the blast, finding a large hole where the wall used to be, standing in which were the armed Nyx and Gaz, Ying towering above them.

"Who the hell are you?" the head clown demanded, glaring at them.

"Oh, just the people who are gonna wreck your _caragash_ up," Nyx said brightly, before opening fire with her massive gun. The gangsters all screamed and scattered, while the rain of plasma bolts tore through the crates, triggering more explosions.

While a laughing Nyx quickly set most of the warehouse on fire, several gangsters mustered their courage and came charging at her with PAK legs deployed and a variety of weapons in hand. However, before they could reach her, Gaz jumped in front of them, body-slamming the nearest Irken and sending him stumbling into the one next to him, the pair both falling to the ground. She then spun around and slammed her shock staff into the PAK of another gangster that passed her; when he collapsed, she smacked the butt of the staff into his skull for good measure. Then she spun again, shutting off the staff and gripping it horizontally with both hands as one of the gangsters she'd knocked over got up and charged her with a knife, catching the blade on the staff. The Irken pressed against her, only for Gaz to smirk and let herself fall onto her back, flipping the gangster over and letting him slam headfirst into the ground with a significant cracking sound.

"Grr, just die, whatever you are!" one of the other gangster growled, stabbing at Gaz with his PAK legs. But Gaz rolled out of the way, and as the metal legs pierced the ground she reactivated the shock staff and whacked it into the gangster's actual legs. As he dropped to the ground, she jumped up and kicked him in the head.

Smirking, Gaz turned to find more gangsters to fight, and paused as she found one standing nearby, holding a pair of nunchucks, of all things. She arched an eyebrow as she watched him spin them around in an exaggerated fashion that was probably meant to be intimidating, while making ridiculous sound effects. He then whipped the weapon towards her face… and she casually grabbed it with one hand, using it to pull the surprised Irken towards her and jabbing him in the neck with the shock staff.

"Idiot," she muttered, letting the unconscious gangster drop to the floor. Turning to look around, she saw another group of gangsters standing nearby, looking at her anxiously and fidgeting their grips on their weapons. Seeing how afraid they were, Gaz grinned and raised her staff towards them in challenge.

"Bring it, Bozos," she said, before charging them.

Meanwhile, Nyx had finally stopped firing her gatling gun and was taking a moment to admire the damage. As she did, several of the gangsters popped out from whatever cover they had hidden behind and opened fire on her with their own blasters… only for Ying to swiftly step protectively in front of her, the plasma bolts splashing harmlessly off of him. He then reached for an intact crate, picked it up, and through it at the gangster. They screamed and tried to jump out of the way, but several were still crushed, and the rest caught in the blast when whatever was in the crate exploded.

"Wow, this really is some high-grade stuff," Nyx said, ignoring the explosion to examine some explosives that had spilled out of a knocked-over crate, "You could punch a hole right through the hull of a Ring Cutter with one of these."

"Yes, very impressive, Madame," Ying said politely, not really interested.

_BANG_

And then something large smacked into him hard enough to send him flying into a stack of crates, which collapsed on him.

"Ying!" Nyx shouted in alarm. Turning to see what had attacked him, she was greeted by the sight of a Maim Bot looming over her, arms still raised from the attack and the leader of the clown gangsters visible in its cockpit.

"Alright, I don't know who you are, but you just wrecked my base and interfered with my business," the gangster growled, "And nobody does that and gets away with it!"

"Yeah? Well no one hurts my robot and gets away with _that!_ " Nyx growled, picking up My Little Friend again. The gangster raised one of the Maim Bot's arms and fired its cannon, but Nyx dodged out of the way, returning fire as she did so. The stream of plasma cut across the Maim Bot's legs and torso, singeing the metal but not seriously damaging it; seeing this, the gangster smirked and brought the mech's arms slamming down into the ground, missing Nyx but the shockwave sending her flying.

" _Flirk!_ " she cursed as she hit the ground, and more importantly noticed that her gun had been set skittering in the opposite direction. However, her gaze fell on some of those explosives she'd been studying earlier, and she smirked. Dashing forward, she grabbed an armful of them, and then jumped up to avoid another blow from the Maim Bot's arms.

Landing on one of those arms, Nyx quickly jammed one of the explosives into the seam between its cannon and the main arm, then ran up the arm. Before the gangster could process what she was doing, she reached the cockpit and jammed another explosive into the seam surrounding its base. Then she jumped over the back of the mech, and as she hit the floor spun around to toss the remaining explosives to land in the space between the mech's feet. She then leapt away, deploying a PAK leg as she did to fire a shot at the explosives on the floor.

_BOOM_

_BOOM_

_BOOM_

The explosives detonated, the force from them triggering the others, blowing the Maim Bot apart and sending its pieces flying in every direction.

After a few moments of silence, Nyx emerged from the pile rubble she'd sheltered behind and cautiously approached the wreck of the Maim Bot, picking up My Little Friend along the way. Reaching the main chunk of wreckage, she walked around it to face the shattered cockpit, and froze as she saw that aside from some blood, there was no sign of its operator.

"Great. Where'd he get to?" Nyx muttered, looking around for signs of where the gangster might have crawled off to — and was caught off guard as he came running out of the smoke with a battle cry, slamming into her. Unable to react in time, she could only drop her weapon and gag as he grabbed her by the throat and slammed her against the wreck of his mech.

"You little pest," the gangster growled, blood from a forehead wound mixing with his smeared makeup. Holding her firmly with both hands as Nyx clawed desperately at them, he deployed his PAK legs and aimed them at her, "Any last words?"

"Actually, yeah… what's with the clown theme?" she gasped out. The gangster blinked at her, rage overridden by confusion for a moment.

"Because clowns are disturbing, that's why!" he sputtered defensively, "And do you _really_ want that to be the last thing you ever say?"

"Nope, I was just distracting you," Nyx replied, her panic disappearing and replaced by smug confidence.

"What-?"

"Hey, Pennywise," a voice said from right next to him. Turning to face it, he had only a second to see the calm fury in Gaz's eyes before she slammed the shock staff into his face like a baseball bat. The force of the blow sent him flying away from Nyx and several yards across the warehouse before he dropped into a heap on the floor, unconscious and missing most of his teeth. And for good measure, a recovered Ying walked over and dropped several crates on top of him, crushing him.

"You okay?" Gaz asked with a rare note of concern as Nyx rubbed her sore throat.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied. Looking around at the burning warehouse and numerous prone gangster bodies, she nodded in contentment, "Well, I think this accomplishes about everything we needed to do here. Let's go. Oh, and Ying? Grab a couple of crates to go."

"Of course, Madame," Ying said, grabbing a few of the crates while Nyx picked up and pocketed My Little Friend. The three then made their way towards the hole in the wall they'd entered through, though Nyx paused to toss a grenade towards the pile of weapons the lead gangster was buried under for good measure. As they quickly crossed the street, the resulting chain reaction of explosions leveled what was left of the warehouse, and they disappeared into the shadows as security officers and curious onlookers arrived on the scene.

A short while later they had arrived back at Nyx's ship, Ying back in his normal size after placing the crates aboard and the girls sharing a laugh.

"That was surprisingly fun," Gaz said, actually smiling slightly, "We should do this more often."

"Yeah. I knew you were tough, but I didn't know you were that good in a fight," Nyx complimented her.

"Eh, I guess some things just come naturally," Gaz said, looking at the deactivated shock staff in her hands, "Hey, you mind if I keep this? I like it."

"Feel free, I never really used it," Nyx replied, before glancing at her watch, "Well, we better get going if we still want to get any time at Arcadikon today."

With that, the friends and Ying got in the ship, which took off and was soon zooming away from Foodcourtia… though not without first pausing to drop a few bombs on Shloogorgh's Flavor Monster. As its roof caught fire and a certain Fry Lord screamed in confused rage, the friends laughed and flew off towards Arcadikon… where, surprisingly, the remainder of their trip went off without a hitch, with no further interruptions, detours, or fights, just fun and games.

All in all, it ended up being a wonderful trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And done. Hope no one minds me not actually showing them on Arcadikon, but the chapter was running long, and nothing of interest was going to happen there anyway aside from showing them finally having their fun visit, so I decided to just cut it.
> 
> Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I hope you all enjoyed reading it.
> 
> Nothing else to say, except to once again remind everyone to stay safe and healthy out there.
> 
> Please comment!


	9. Battle of the Fans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Save Earth infiltrate a fan convention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone. Sorry for the extremely long wait for this one, but for some reason I was lacking the impetus to write anything for like a month. Plus, I distracted myself with creating Moment sub-pages for this series' TV Tropes page, which took a lot more effort than you'd think. But anyway, it's here now, so I hope you all enjoy it and that it's worth the wait, even if it's just another bit of filler.
> 
> Nothing else to say, beyond once again hoping everyone is taking care of themselves in these troubling times.
> 
> Beyond that, read on!

Team Save Earth had gathered in the Membrane house, as usual, though a bit earlier than normal, thanks to Spring Break meaning they didn't have to deal with skool first. What _wasn't_ usual, however, was that Dib was barely registering his friends' presence, focused instead on pacing back and forth across the living room, arms behind his back and a frown etched onto his face.

The twins, seated on the couch, watched him pace for several minutes in mild concern, before finally speaking up.

"If you keep pacing like that, man, you're going to wear a hole in the floor," Steve commented, "Maybe you should take a breath and calm down?"

"Would _you_ calm down if your sister was running around in space with a psychotic alien who's dragging her into doing who knows what?" Dib snapped, pausing in his pacing to turn his attention to the couch.

"First of all, I'd never be in that situation," Viera said dryly, "Secondly, you really think anyone could ever make Gaz do anything she doesn't want to do? I'd be more worried about anyone they run into along the way."

"I know that, but it's not the point," Dib sighed, before collapsing into a chair.

Seeing Dib starting to slide into a mood, Steve quickly grabbed the remote and switched on the TV, looking for something to distract them all with. Finding it set to some soap opera, he blanched and quickly changed the channel. He spent the next few minutes cycling through a stream of daytime talk shows, cheesy movies, and various other unexciting content, none of which Dib even seemed to notice was on. Eventually he reached the news, and paused to see if anything interesting was being discussed.

" _This is Jeff Sheffy, live from the Vasquez Convention Center,_ " the reporter on screen announced, " _It's that time again, as the annual Fantasy Con has come to town._ "

"Ugh, is that this week?" Viera groaned.

"I'd have thought you'd be happy about it," Steve commented, "You're a big fantasy fan."

"Yeah, but I hate conventions — doesn't matter if they're fantasy, sci-fi or anything else," she explained, "They're supposed to be places were fans can interact with each other in a fun and enjoyable way, but nine times out of ten they're overrun by people so obsessed with their fandoms that they turn every disagreement over details into a huge fight."

"Not to mention all the corporate and commercial crap that turns it into just another money-sucking tourist trap," Dib said, showing his first sign of interest in something outside his brooding.

"Okay, I admit I can see that," Steve admitted with a shrug, "Still, maybe you guys should go?"

"Just us?" Viera asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Hey, of the three of us, I'm purely a sci-fi guy," Steve replied, "I'd be totally out of my depth. You two would probably enjoy it."

"Maybe, but honestly I don't think there'll be anything there interesting enough to be worth the price of admission," Dib said, watching the report continue on the TV, Jeff Sheffy making his way through a convention hall that was already filling up with costumed fans.

" _As you can see, fans are flocking here for the chance to mingle and share the experience of their favorite genre,_ " the reporter was saying, " _People have come from around the world for this rare opportunity to revel in the joy and wonder of fantasy-_ "

" _Your movies suck, you cliched hacks!_ " a guy dressed like an ice demon standing next to the _Battle of Crowns_ booth shouted across the hall at the _Master of the Jewelry_ booth.

" _Look who's talking! Your deconstructive crap doesn't even have a sensible plot in the later seasons!_ " someone dressed like a goblin shouted back.

" _At least our show didn't make up new characters that didn't exist in the source material just to look more progressive!_ "

" _No, you just cut a bunch of minor characters out and made other characters take their parts, regardless of characterization coherency!_ "

" _Well, your special effects were terrible!_ "

" _And you were full of plot holes!_ "

"And there's the other downside to conventions," Viera commented, watching the verbal fight unfold, "As bad as people fighting over their _own_ fandoms can be, it's nowhere near as toxic as dueling fandoms can get."

" _Er, moving on,_ " Sheffy said, quickly exiting the main hall as arguing echoed behind him, " _In addition to being able to interact with fellow fantasy fans — in all sorts of ways, apparently — attendees to the convention will also have an opportunity to see first screenings of upcoming material, be able to meet the actors and writers who brought their favorite franchises to life, and buy lots of merchandise._ "

"See? Money trap," Dib said, as Sheffy continued walking down the corridor he was in.

" _And then, of course, there's what the convention organizers are calling the crown jewel of the event,_ " Sheffy said, coming to a stop before a large, very secure-looking door, " _Within this vault is a selection of collectable items, props, and other memorabilia tied to the history of several major fantasy franchises, some of which will be on public display for the very first time. To say that there's a lot of hype about this particular exhibit is an understatement._ "

As Sheffy was talking, an inset box appeared on the screen, cycling through images of what were probably several of the items inside the vault. Dib and the twins weren't really interested, none of them seeing anything worth getting worked up over… but just as Steve was about to finally give up and change the channel again, Viera caught sight of something, eyes widening in shock.

"Hold it!" she exclaimed, grabbing the remote out of her brother's hand before he could do anything. He and Dib both blinked in surprise at her actions, and followed her gaze to see what had grabbed her attention. What greeted them was the image of an old book, the cover made of some kind of leather, the image of a scowling face carved into it and surrounded by inlaid runes of some kind.

"You're getting worked up over some weird old book?" Steve asked, looking at his sister in confusion.

"That's not just any weird old book, that's the Ikiwikinomicon!"

"Ik-who-what-now?" Steve asked, while Dib's eyes widened in recognition.

"Wait, I've heard of that," he said, "It's an ancient Mesopotamian book of dark magic made out of human skin. I know they based those _Unholy Undead_ movies on it, but… oh, do not tell me they used an _actual_ spell book to make a movie!"

"That's always been the internet rumor," Viera said with a shrug, "I never really believed it myself, but seeing it now pretty much confirms it — that thing is definitely made from genuine human skin, not prop leather."

"And it's not creepy at all that you can tell that by sight alone," Steve snarked, earning a glare from Viera.

"So, to summarize, there's an ancient book of seriously dark magic about to go on display for thousands of frenzied genre fans — who, judging by what we just saw, all have hair-trigger tempers. That sounds like a dangerous situation we need to defuse," Dib decided.

"Is it? I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Steve asked.

"Demonic zombie apocalypse summoned accidentally by someone reading from what they think is a prop book," Viera replied flatly.

"…Oh," Steve said, paling slightly, "Er, in that case, we'd better get down there. But how are we going to get same day tickets?"

"Let me handle that," Dib said, pulling out his phone, "Let's go."

With that, the three of them made their way out the door and started making their way downtown.

_Vasquez Convention Center, Shortly After_

Dib and the twins stood outside the security fence surrounding the Convention Center's property line. A huge crowd of people, most of them in costume, extended from the building's doors, forming a line on the other side of the outdoor security checkpoint that ran past the fence and clear down the block to snake around the corner out of sight.

"Damn, that's a lot of people," Viera noted, arching an eyebrow at Dib, "How'd you manage to get passes when it looks practically sold out?"

"Well, there's always passes being scalped for these things. And I may not flaunt it, but my family _is_ pretty rich, so I could afford it," Dib replied with a shrug, before turning to Steve, "You sure you don't want me to get you one too? All three of us going in seems like the smarter move."

"Like I said, I'd stick out too much for this, and the key to any successful heist is blending in," Steve said, Viera giving him an incredulous look in response.

"Did you seriously just call this a 'heist'?" she asked.

"You're sneaking into a building to steal something. That's the textbook definition of a heist."

"I think you've watched too many movies."

"I think you haven't watched enough!"

"Okay, knock it off," Dib said, "We don't have time to argue over the semantics of this. Viera, you and I will go in to find and grab the book before it goes on display. Steve, you try and hack into the building's security system to help us out remotely… you can do that, right?"

"Well, I'm no expert hacker, but I know a few tricks," Steve replied with a shrug, holding up a laptop carrying case, "At the very least, I should be able to access the security cameras in order to keep tabs on things. You got a way for us to talk?"

"Right here," Dib said, holding up several ear buds and handing one to each of the twins, while keeping one for himself, "They're linked to a private network, so we shouldn't have to worry about picking up stray signals, or anyone else listening in on us."

"You know, on the subject of us blending in, don't you think we should have costumes?" Viera asked, gesturing to the crowd, "The people who _aren't_ in costume stick out a lot more than the people who _are_."

"Good point," Dib muttered, looking around. Spotting a large tent taking up a vacant lot across the street, he arched an eyebrow, noting the large sign posted outside its entrance which read "Need Last Minute Costumes? All Stock Half-Price! Free Changing Rooms and Clothes Storage Included!"

"Well, that's convenient," he said, "Come on, we can grab some costumes there."

The twins nodded and followed along as Dib headed towards the tent. And as all three walked, they failed to notice the rather conspicuous sight of Zim peering over a fence a few blocks further down the street, peering at the Convention Center through binoculars protruding from Minimoose's body.

"Pft. What a pathetic gathering," he said, "Even human conventions are disgustingly inferior. Their security doesn't even have DNA scanners, and I bet their snacks don't even qualify as third-rate."

"Yeah, it sounds like it sucks," Skoodge commented from where Zim was using him as a footstool, "But remind me again why we're here?"

"Foolish Skoodge, always missing the obvious," Zim scoffed, "Large groups of humans are an excellent case study in their behavior. And the fanatical behavior these obsessive worm-babies display could be useful if we can learn to harness it for our own ends!"

"…You hit a block on the Big Plan and decided to look for something to distract yourself with, didn't you?"

"Silence!" Zim snapped, jumping off Skoodge's shoulders with enough force to send the chubbier Irken stumbling, and letting Minimoose float out of his grasp, "Zim's motives for any orders do not matter, merely that you obey them, understood?"

"Yeah, got it," Skoodge said, knowing there wasn't any point in arguing the point, "So, we just go in and check the place out?"

"Yes, we will blend in with the Earth-Monkeys and observe them like the animals they are," Zim said, before shrugging and adding, "And if we don't find anything useful, we'll just blow them all up for wasting our time."

Skoodge idly wondered for a moment if that last comment was Nyx's influence talking, or if Zim would have made that decision anyway. Deciding it was an even split, he ignored it in favor of a more pressing matter.

"How are we supposed to get in?" he asked, "I mean, it's ticketed, and the tickets sound pretty expensive."

"Ha! As if Zim would waste his monies on some primitive human gathering! I have a much more ingenious way of getting us passes to this smell-hole of a building," Zim announced… seconds before GIR, wearing his little boy disguise, suddenly popped out of nowhere, holding a group of costumed humans above his head, the lot of them bruised, slightly scorched, and unconscious.

"Delivery!" GIR said happily, while Zim smirked and snagged the guest badges each human was wearing around their necks.

"Aha! Victory for Zim!" Zim crowed, before waving dismissively at GIR, "Excellent work, GIR. Now dispose of these humans so they cannot tell anyone what they have witnessed."

"Okey-dokey! Bye-bye, new friends!" GIR said, before ripping up a manhole cover and shoving the humans into the hole, jumping on them a couple of times to shove them through all the way.

"…Er, couldn't we have just wiped their memories?" Skoodge asked.

"Meh, who cares? Let the sewer hobos deal with them," Zim said, putting on one of the badges and tossing the other two to Skoodge and GIR, "Put those on. Minimoose, you pretend to be a prop."

"Nyah!" Minimoose affirmed, deploying a string from his body, which Skoodge grabbed ahold of once he was done slipping on his badge. Zim, meanwhile, struggled to get GIR to wear his badge instead of trying to eat it, before finally grabbing him by the collar and dragging him towards the entry line, Skoodge following after him.

_Some Time Later_

Dib and Viera stood on line to get into the Convention Center, now in costume and blending in with the rest of the visitors. Wanting to keep a low profile and avoid getting dragged into any arguments like the one they'd seen on TV, they'd passed on fandom-specific costumes and gone for more general outfits. Dib was dressed as a wizard, wearing a rather stereotypical ensemble of a blue robe and matching pointy hat, and was also holding a wooden staff nearly as tall as he was. Viera, meanwhile, was dressed as a generic warrior woman, wearing a pleated faux-leather skirt and shortsleeved shirt, with bands of plastic armor glued to the clothing, and a plastic sword sheathed at her side.

"Finally," Viera muttered, as they made their way through the security checkpoint and were able to make their way into the building proper, "I think I've seen banks with less extensive security."

"Just be glad we're in," Dib said, as he reached up to tap his ear bud, "Steve, can you hear us?"

" _Loud and clear,_ " Steve replied, from where he was sitting in a coffee shop next door to the Convention Center, " _I'm in the system, and can see you guys on the cameras._ "

"Really? That was fast," Viera commented, "You must be better at this hacking stuff than you thought."

" _Actually, all I did was go onto the convention's website and log into the administrators' section,_ " Steve admitted, " _It didn't even ask for a password or ID, just one of those captcha challenges. I think they're operating on an honesty policy or something._ "

"Seriously? They just spent ten minutes patting down everyone trying to physically get into the building, but they don't even try when it comes to cyber security?" Dib asked, sighing at the sheer stupidity, "Never mind, let's count our blessings. Can you find the vault?"

" _Already did, but there's a bunch of security officers guarding its hallway,_ " Steve replied, " _I'm looking for another way in, but that's going to take awhile._ "

"Great," Viera said dryly, "So what are we supposed to do until then?"

"I guess we just wander around and try to blend in," Dib said, "Actually, if anything that should make people pay less attention to us when we eventually go after the vault."

"Fair point," Viera admitted.

The pair looked around the main hall they had entered, crowds of costumed people milling about around them, either congregating in small groups to take pictures or engage in debates, stopping at various booths lining the hall, or walking off into side halls or other levels of the building. Sharing a look, the pair both shrugged and started walking in the general direction of the opposite end of the hall, no real destination in mind.

As they walked, they looked around, and noticed that the main booths for _Battle of Crowns_ and _Master of the Jewelry_ had been set up at directly opposite ends of the hall. And the crowds of guests mingling around said booths were still glaring at each other and occasionally flinging insults.

"Wow, they are really going at it," Dib commented, "I get being defensive of a show or movie you like, but these guys all look like they're about two minutes away from literally fighting over this."

"Would be just our luck if they did. It'd probably end up triggering a riot or something," Viera said, glancing at Dib, "Might have been a good idea to bring along your gauntlets, just in case."

"They would have stuck out too much. They wouldn't exactly pass as costume jewelry like your amulet," he replied, gesturing to where the Eye of Fire was still hanging around Viera's neck.

"True," Viera admitted, "Still, we should probably keep on guard, just in case. I have a bad feeling about this many people with short tempers stuck in the same place."

"Agreed," Dib said with a nod, gripping his prop staff reassuringly; worst came to worst, he could smack people in the head with it.

With that in mind, they continued walking through the crowds, paying attention to their surroundings, but at times failing to see anything through the throngs of people. As such, they didn't notice Zim's group on the other side of the hall, heading in the opposite direction.

"Ugh, I can feel my skin shriveling from the stink of all these humans crowded into one place," Zim grumbled, eying the crowds warily, while GIR walked beside him munching on a large pretzel he'd bought from a snack stand.

"Why would your skin shrivel from stink?" Skoodge asked from his spot slightly behind Zim, squinting an eye in confusion.

"Do not question Zim's use of metaphors!"

"Nyah!"

"Yes it _was_ a metaphor, shut up!" Zim snapped. He then opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by some people walking past them.

"Nice lack of costumes, losers," a woman dressed like a harpy sneered.

"Yeah, who comes to a con without a costume?" a guy dressed like a lizardman scoffed.

"You dare insult Zim?! I'll feed you each other's kidneys!" Zim snarled, nearly deploying his PAK legs before Skoodge quickly grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him away.

"Zim, I don't think picking a fight is going to help us blend in here," he said, while Zim shook off his grip.

"Do not touch me," Zim growled in warning, before deciding to ignore what had just happened and moving on, "My patience is wearing thin. If we don't find something worthwhile soon, Zim is going to simply turn this stink-pile of a building into a crater!"

"Ooh, what's over there?" GIR chirped before Skoodge could say anything. The Irkens followed where he was pointing, finding that he was looking at a particularly long line snaking out of one of the side rooms, the people on it all chatting animatedly. Next to the room's door was a sign which read "Interview with Martin G.G. Richards, author of _Battle of Crowns_."

"Eh, is that all? They're meeting a writer?" Zim scoffed, "Still nothing worthwhile of my incredible Zim-time."

"Maybe we should go in anyway?" Skoodge suggested.

"Why?"

"Well, these humans all seem pretty dedicated to this guy. Fanatically obsessed, really," Skoodge replied, "If we observe his interactions with them, you might pick up some pointers for the whole Miz thing."

"Ha! As if Zim could learn anything worthwhile from a human! I'll go in there just to prove you wrong!" Zim proclaimed, marching off to join the line, Skoodge shrugging and following along with GIR and Minimoose trailing behind.

A few minutes later, most of which was spent on line with Zim scowling as the humans made backhanded comments about his lack of a ridiculous costume like theirs, the Irkens and robots managed to get into the room and grab some of the last seats available in the back of the room. While Minimoose settled on top of Skoodge's head and GIR stared absently at the back of the chair in front of him, Zim and Skoodge discreetly used their PAK legs to lift their chairs up enough to see over the heads of the people in front of them. From this vantage point, they could see the entire packed room, at the front of which was a small stage with a table on it, and behind it a curtain with the image of a dragon fighting a giant ice monster on it.

As Zim and Skoodge watched, a man in a suit came out from behind the curtain, introduced himself as the host for the interview, and then brought out the actual author. The Irkens flinched as the uproarious applause that greeted this nearly deafened them, but adjusted after a moment to properly take in the apparently much-celebrated author.

"Egh, he's fatter than you are," Zim commented in disgust, as the rather heavyset, grey-bearded man in glasses and a sweater-vest sat down at the table next to the host.

"I'd take offense at that, but it's true," Skoodge said, eyeing Richards try to settle into a too-small chair.

"Alrighty then, let's get this thing started with the most pressing question of all," the host said, "Martin, when is the next book coming out?"

"Well, I'll tell you, it's gonna be coming out soon," Richards replied, nodding sagely and eliciting a series of excited yells from the crowd.

"Not to split hairs, but can you be more specific?" the host asked, "You've been saying 'soon' for almost a decade now."

That got an angrier series of grumbles from the crowd, and Richards squirmed nervously for a moment.

"I know I say that a lot, but this time I really mean it!" he proclaimed, earning cheers from the crowd again.

"They get this worked up about a book?" Zim asked, squinting an eye in confusion.

"Now that's a really dedicated fanbase," Skoodge commented.

"Hmm, perhaps I _should_ speak with this fat book man, and learn his secrets to controlling the mindless masses," Zim mused, as the crowd quieted down enough for the host to move on to the next question.

"So our next question involves a popular urban legend about your work," the host said, "For the record, can you confirm that you were inspired to write _Battle of Crowns_ after a slice of fresh-out-of-the-oven pizza fell on your chest and burned you?"

"Er, I wouldn't say 'inspired', but being laid up in the hospital being treated for the burns did give me plenty of time to get started on that novel I always wanted to write," Richards said awkwardly.

"You heard it right here, folks, urban legend confirmed!" the host said, eliciting more cheers, "And we have an excellent surprise for you, Martin — the convention's organizers worked long and hard to do it, but we tracked down the very shirt you were wearing when you dropped the pizza!"

"What?" Richards blinked in utter confusion, "How did you…?"

"That's right, it's being stored in our Memorabilia Vault, and will be unveiled to public display along with the rest of the vault's contents during the main event later today!" the host stated, as the crowd cheered even more loudly, "And of course, all your fans will just dying to see you wear it one more time. Maybe it'll bring back some fond memories, eh?"

"…The only memories I get when I think of that thing are the pain of third-degree burns," Richards replied slowly, "Seriously, why would you even-?"

"Moving on!" the host said, either oblivious to Richards' discomfort or outright ignoring it, "Who are your top ten favorites among the 2,000 POV characters in your books?"

Things continued in that vein for the next half-hour, the host asking Richards a variety of banal and often idiotic questions, the audience's mood switching from excited to angry and back again seemingly at every question. By the time the interview was over, Richards was left looking more than a little disturbed, and the Irkens were bored out of their minds.

"Zim has changed his mind," Zim said as they walked out of the room with the rest of the happily chattering crowd, "It is now clear that that stink-pig is not controlling anyone, he's just pumping out his putrid imagination and these brain-dead imbeciles are lapping it up because they have nothing better to do!"

"Nyah!" Minimoose commented from where he was once again floating above Skoodge.

"That too!" Zim exclaimed, "Nothing we just wasted our time listening to can help me improve my technique as Miz. Not that it _needs_ improving, mind you, it's perfect the way it is. I told you there was nothing worthwhile in there!"

Skoodge cringed, but chose not to try and defend himself, instead trying to think of a way to deflect the conversation onto another track.

"I wanna see the pizza shirt!" GIR suddenly said.

"GIR, be quiet," Zim snapped.

"No, I think he's onto something," Skoodge said quickly, an idea forming, "I mean, these people are so obsessed with this guy that they treat that shirt like some kind of holy relic. Maybe if we take it we can, I dunno, use it to control them?"

"Did you learn nothing from interacting with those UFO cult-monkeys?" Zim said flatly, "Humans with this sort of mindset are utterly useless as minions, they're too blinded by their obsessions, too easily set off… hmm."

"'Hmm', what?" Skoodge asked, noting the contemplative look on Zim's face.

"We've seen how aggressive such humans can get when angered. So why don't we anger these?" Zim replied, a wicked grin spreading across his face, "We destroy this filthy shirt they care about so much, it will enrage them, perhaps to the point of rioting and destroying all in their path!"

"Which will accomplish what, exactly?"

"Meh, destruction of human property is good enough a reason to do anything," Zim said with a shrug, "And if nothing else, it'll be a good test case for inspiring my new disciples towards large-scale violence at the drop of a shoe."

"I think you mean 'drop of a hat', but I get what you're saying," Skoodge said, "Not much of a plan, but it's worth doing. But, uh, where's this vault thing that that guy mentioned?"

"It's obviously somewhere in this building, we just have to find it. Which shouldn't be too hard, considering how pathetic human security measures are," Zim said, before turning to GIR, "GIR! Scan this building and find the vault!"

"Yes, my master!" GIR said with a salute. Eyes flashing red inside the fake head of his costume and narrowing in concentration, he began marching down the hallway, the Irkens and Minimoose following close behind him.

XXXXXXX

Meanwhile, Dib and Viera had migrated out of the main hall into a side one, which solely contained merchandise booths. They were now meandering along the pathways between these booths, taking in everything they saw. Which wasn't much, as each booth contained the same sort of stuff — DVDs, books, comics, actions figures, and other such things — with only which franchise was on display differentiating them.

Oh, and there was one more thing all the booths had in common. Ridiculously high prices.

"Are you seriously charging 50 bucks for broomsticks?" Dib asked incredulously at the _Perry Hotter_ booth.

"They're, like, perfect replicas of the ones in the movies," the blonde twenty-something woman manning the booth said without looking up from her phone.

"They're _brooms!_ " Dib snapped, pointing at the rack of completely ordinary-looking brooms on the counter, "I could go into a hardware store and buy a dozen for the price of one here!"

"Yeah, but those wouldn't be authentic movie replicas," the woman replied.

"They're exactly the same! Who would pay this much for an everyday object they could get cheaper somewhere else?"

"People who think souvenir items are somehow better than the regular thing," Viera commented as she looked over the rest of the booth's merchandise, arching an eyebrow at some crystal balls, "Then again, occasionally there's something decent under all the garbage."

"You're actually going to waste money on one of those things?" Dib asked.

"Hey, good crystal is good crystal, and I can think of a bunch of uses I can find for it," she replied, holding up the ball to examine it more closely.

"And you're willing to pay $69.99 for it?" he asked, gesturing to the price tag stuck to the side of the ball.

"If it's worth it," she said, waving him off, "Go on, I'll catch up."

"Whatever, it's your money," Dib said with a shrug, walking towards the next set of booths.

"Your boyfriend's, like, kinda uptight," the woman manning the booth commented once Dib was out or earshot, still not looking up from her phone. Hearing this, Viera yelped and almost dropped the ball in shock.

"He, he is not my boyfriend," she said with a slight stammer and a noticeable blush, "Definitely not even close to it."

"Whatever," the woman said, total disinterest clear, "So, are you gonna buy that thing or not?"

Wanting very badly to pretend the last few moments hadn't happened, Viera quickly paid for the ball and walked off with it in a bag. By the time she caught up with Dib several aisles further down the hall, she'd managed to regain her composure. At least, she thought she did, but he seemed to pick up on something as she approached.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," she said quickly. Seeing that he didn't look entirely convinced, and wanting to change the subject before it could even start, she tapped her ear bud, "Steve? You find another way into that vault yet?"

" _Still working on it,_ " Steve replied, sounding a bit annoyed, " _I'd probably have gotten it by now, but these blueprints make no sense._ "

"What do you mean?"

" _It looks like the building was hollowed out with a whole bunch of rooms and hallways that can only be accessed from certain spots and don't seem to actually have any purpose, which means any of them could have been repurposed as a vault,_ " Steve replied, " _Seriously, it's like someone took a perfectly ordinary building and decided to turn it into, I dunno, some kind of supervillain lair or video game dungeon or something._ "

"Really? That's just stupid," Dib commented, before sighing and shaking his head, "Just keep looking. The building's not that big, relatively, the vault's gotta pop up somewhere."

" _Copy that._ "

"…'Copy that'?" Viera repeated dryly, "You have _really_ watched too many movies."

Steve's only response was to blow a raspberry, before cutting off communication.

"Great. So, back to just wandering around I guess," Dib muttered, feeling his frustration with the tediousness of the situation growing. Anything Viera might have said in response to that was cut off as a group of people dressed as various _Master of the Jewelry_ characters walked by.

"…And they actually have the nerve to act like they're some grand epic?" a guy in armor was sneering, "At least our series was actually finished!"

"Yeah, and they pretend that all their world-building is such a big deal," a girl dressed like an elf scoffed, "T.J.J. Reynolds built a whole world, complete with entire mapped-out languages, all without slowing down the plot."

"Not to mention he didn't spend entire pages describing every single meal," a guy dressed like a dwarf added, "Seriously, do we really need to what everyone's eating down to the last condiment?"

As the group continued on, Dib and Viera watched them go, before exchanging a look.

"Jeez, these people never quit, do they?" she asked, "You'd think they'd be focusing on stuff they like, instead of wasting time complaining about stuff they don't."

"I guess some people just aren't happy unless they have something to moan about," Dib replied, before frowning and checking his watch, "Though on the subject of that last thing they brought up, you want to get something to eat? I mean, we have the time, apparently."

"Might as well," Viera said with a shrug. The two then walked off in search of someplace to eat, soon finding themselves directed to a food court in the basement.

"20 dollars for a personal pizza? Why is everything here so overpriced?" Dib groaned, looking over the array of hot foods for sale.

"Hey, you said it yourself, this place is a glorified tourist trap," Viera said, grabbing a couple of 10 dollar hot dogs, "That means getting people to pay through the nose for pretty much everything."

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean I have to like it," Dib said, shaking his head as he took one of the pizzas and the pair made their way towards the checkout.

"Er, you're paying for us both, right?" Viera asked with an awkward smile as they approached the cashier.

"Wait, what?" Dib asked, blinking dumbly for a moment and then staring at her in disbelief.

"I spent most of my cash on this!" she said defensively, holding up the bag containing her crystal ball.

"I told you not to waste your money on that thing," Dib grumbled, before shaking his head, "Fine, but only because I have enough to cover it."

"Thanks. Promise I'll pay you back," Viera said, walking off with her food while Dib stayed behind to pay.

"I'm too nice for my own good," Dib sighed as he paid.

"Word of advice, dude, don't come to these events if you're gonna be a cheap date," the guy manning the cashier stated, which caused Dib to rear back, blushing.

"Wha- this is not a date!" he exclaimed.

"If you say so. Please move on," the cashier said as he waved Dib on, clearly not interested in having a conversation.

"Seriously, why do people keep thinking we're a couple?" Dib muttered as he walked away, managing to shrug off the embarrassment by the time he joined Viera at a nearby table.

The two of them sat there eating their lunches in an amiable silence for a few minutes, when Steve suddenly spoke up over the comms again.

" _Hey guys, good news,_ " he said excitedly, " _I finally found a backdoor to the Vault. It's in a subbasement below the floor you're on right now._ "

"Finally," Viera said, tossing her garbage in the nearest trashcan, "What about security?"

" _Looks like a few guards in the hallway outside the door,_ " Steve explained, " _Still trying to get a look at the interior stuff. Surprisingly, that's a lot more heavily encoded than the rest of the system._ "

"Keep working on that, we'll head for the Vault," Dib said, absently tossing out his garbage as he and Viera stood up, "How do we get to the subbasement?"

" _Head to the far end of the floor you're on now,_ " Steve said, " _There's a stairway that only heads down to the subbasement. It's locked electronically, but I can hack past that and open it up for you._ "

"Got it."

Dib and Viera made their way discretely towards the far side of the floor, and as Steve said, there was a door there with a security panel over its handle. As they approached, the light on the panel flashed from red to green, and as expected the door opened without resistance when Dib pulled on the handle. The pair then made their way down the stairway on the other side, pausing as they reached the other door at the bottom. Carefully cracking that one open and peering through, they were greeted by the sight of an empty hallway, which they slowly emerged into.

" _Okay, the Vault is down the hall to your right, and around the next corner,_ " Steve said, " _Looks like there's only two guards, but, uh, I really wouldn't take my chances with them if I were you._ "

Dib and Viera exchanged glances, arching eyebrows at that comment. Creeping towards the relevant corner, they paused and discretely peeked around it. They easily spotted the door to the Vault, a massive floor-to-ceiling thing which looked like it belonged in a bank, not a convention center. Oh, and it was flanked by two burly men in security uniforms who looked like professional wrestlers.

"Yep, we're definitely not messing with that," Dib said flatly, he and Viera pulling back, "There another way in there?"

" _Actually, yeah. You see that grate on the wall behind you?_ " Steve asked in response, " _It covers an air-duct that leads right into the Vault._ "

"Seriously?" Viera asked in utter disbelief, "They build some kind of super high tech door to block this place off, and then just leave a way to directly bypass it?"

" _Like I said, the design of this place makes no sense,_ " Steve replied, a shrug audible in his voice, " _And there's definitely interior security measures in the Vault itself, so be careful once you're in there._ "

"Got it," Dib said, as he set aside his prop staff in order to work at pulling the grate free, Viera putting down her souvenir ball to help.

Being careful to be as quiet as possible so as to not alert the guards, Dib and Viera managed to pry the grate out of place and set it aside on the floor. Dib then climbed up into the duct and started crawling through it, Viera following after, and a few moments later reached the other end of the duct, which was covered with another grate. Dib shifted around to reposition himself, and then kicked the other grate free.

Peering out of the now open duct, Dib arched an eyebrow as he took in the view. The interior of the Vault was a spartan space the size of a ballroom, lit by floodlights placed on the upper portions of the walls and by slightly glowing panels lining the entirety of the floor, except for strips about two feet wide stretching out from the base of the walls. And scattered throughout the room was a series of plinths topped by glass cases, presumably the containers of the various pieces of memorabilia.

"Huh, this is almost impressive," Dib commented, as he carefully dropped out of the duct to land on the narrow space between the wall and the illuminated portion of the floor. He had the distinct feeling that that those panels were more than a design choice.

"Seems a little melodramatic to me, but whatever," Viera said with a shrug, before dropping out of the duct as well, Dib catching her to help keep her from landing on the panels. However, in the process of doing so, she accidentally knocked off his wizard's hat, which fluttered through the air to land on one of the panels, which immediately emitted a loud buzzing sound and flashed to a worrying shade of red.

_ZAP_

_ZAP_

_ZAP_

And then several lasers shot out of nowhere, slamming into the panel the hat had landed on. Dib and Viera yelped in surprise and jump backwards, pressing against the wall as the lasers continued firing until the hat was completely vaporized.

" _What just happened?_ " Steve asked urgently, " _The system just lit up like a fireworks display! Are you guys alright?_ "

"Yeah, we're good," Dib replied, after his heart stopped pounding in shock, "It just turns out that the security in this place is pretty, uh, intense."

"Psychotic is probably a better word for it," Viera commented, allowing her breathing to return to normal. Then she noticed something that quickly caught her full attention.

"Um, you can probably put me down now," she said, blushing lightly. Dib blinked in response, and then blushed as well as he noticed he was still carrying Viera bridal style from where he'd caught her.

"Oh, er, right. Sorry," he said, quickly but carefully setting her down on her feet on the safe portion of the floor. The two then stood there for a moment, awkwardly avoiding looking at each other, before Dib managed to regain his composure.

"Steve, can you shut down the security systems so we can get through here in one piece?" he asked.

" _I'm trying, but it looks like it's the one part of their whole system they took seriously,_ " Steve said, " _I think I can work around it, though. Looks like there's a protocol built into that creates a potential safe path. And I say 'potential' because it looks like it's specifically designed to make a challenge out of it._ "

"You weren't kidding before, this _does_ sound like a video game," Viera commented, "Gaz would probably have the time of her life in here."

"Yeah, but unfortunately it sounds like our only choice," Dib said, "Steve, go ahead and switch this thing on."

" _Got it. Activating ridiculous security bypass protocol now,_ " Steve replied dryly. A few seconds later, most of the floor panels turned red, except for roughly a quarter which turned green. The latter were spaced out enough that crossing from any one point of the room to another by hopping between them would be possible, if difficult.

"So, hop between those panels to get where we need to go, and be careful not to land on the red ones," Dib noted, "Looks easy enough. You see where the book is?"

"Not from here. It must be on the other side of the room," Viera said, "I'll take the right, you take the left?"

"Sounds good. Yell if you spot it," Dib said. Viera nodded in agreement, and then the two set off, hopping onto the nearest panels and starting the process of carefully hopping their way across the room.

XXXXXXX

At the same time that Dib and Viera were making their way into and through the Vault, Zim's group emerged into the subbasement out of another stairway. GIR was skipping along, humming happily, while Zim's face was set in a scowl, and Skoodge was glancing nervously between the two.

Minimoose, as always, was neutrally serene.

"GIR, you've led us all over this wretched building," Zim growled, "Where is this _flirking_ vault already?!"

"The whaaaat?" GIR asked, drawing out the question in a singsong tone that brought the Irkens up short.

"Uh, GIR? You _do_ remember what we're looking for, right?" Skoodge asked, taking an instinctive step away from Zim, whose eye was starting to twitch.

"The leprechaun's pot of gold!" GIR responded cheerfully, confirming the Irkens' suspicions.

"…" Zim stared at GIR for a few moments, scowl deepening, before he snarled and kicked GIR hard enough to send him flying flying down the hallway with an excited cheer.

"Gah! This was a total waste of time!" Zim growled, grinding his teeth in fury before turning to glare at Skoodge, "Why did I let you talk me into this?!"

"Well, I mean technically I didn't-"

"Silence! Zim does not want to hear excuses, or-!"

"Hey! You're all not supposed to be down here!"

Zim paused in his screaming at Skoodge, confused at the sudden sound of another voice. Turning to its source, he was greeted by the sight of the two burly security guards that Dib and Viera had spotted earlier, the Vault's door visible a few feet behind them.

"Hey look, we found it," Skoodge said, scratching his head in mild confusion, "You'd think we would have noticed that sooner."

"Did you not hear me?" one of the guards said, while holding up GIR by the collar, "This is an off-limits area. You all need to leave right now."

"You dare give orders to Zim, overly-muscular human?" Zim sneered up at the guard.

"Yeah, we do," the other guard replied, "Now get outta here and back up to the actual convention, or we'll drag you out of the building altogether."

The Irkens both squinted eyes at the guards in response, before exchanging looks.

"Much as it would amuse Zim to watch your pitiful attempts to do so, I have no time for this," he said, "Minimoose, dispose of these humans."

"Nyah!" Minimoose responded, floating forward to hover in front of the guards, neither of whom looked impressed.

"Heh, what's that little thing gonna do to us?" one of them snorted dismissively.

"I dunno, maybe rub against our heads until we give up?" the other one replied, both of them chuckling. And thus oblivious to how Minimoose's eyes narrowed at the dismissal.

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked angrily, as his body began glowing with energy, which quickly spread to the two guards, lifting them into the air.

"What the?!" the guard holding GIR exclaimed as he and his partner started levitating, dropping GIR as he did so.

"Ooh, you made Moose mad," GIR commented, "Now you's gonna get 'sploded!"

"Nyah!" Minimoose corrected him. He then proceeded to slam the guards into each other, then pulled them apart to slam into opposite walls, and then back again. He proceeded to repeat this process several times before tossing them into the ceiling and finally slamming them down onto the floor. _Then_ he hit them with an energy blast that sent them flying down the hallway to land in a smoking heap.

"Wow," Skoodge said after a moment of quietly taking in the sight of all this, "Remind me to stay on his good side."

"Yes, truly he is my greatest invention," Zim said with genuine pride, while Minimoose squeaked happily and floated over to rub affectionately against Zim's head. Zim actually allowed this for nearly a minute before lightly shoving Minimoose away and saying, "But enough of that. The Vault and the smelly shirt await! Skoodge, open the Vault!"

"Yes sir," Skoodge replied with a salute. He then walked over to the Vault door and grabbed its huge handle-

_ZAAAAPPPP!_

-and was promptly sent flying into the opposite wall by a massive electrical shock. Zim blinked at that, looking between the slightly scorched Skoodge and the door.

"Hmm, the humans were slightly better at arranging their security measures than I gave them credit for," he mused, before shrugging, "But no matter! Zim easily overcame the security on their stair doors, I can do it here as well!"

With that, Zim marched up to a security panel on the wall next to the door, the design of which indicated a need for a six digit code. Narrowing his eyes and staring at it intently for a few minutes, trying to determine if any of the buttons were more worn down than the others. Not seeing any sign of that, he finally decided to just enter a random selection of numbers and see what happened.

And what happened was the panel flashing red, a buzzing alarm sounding, and a panel opening in the wall above it. Zim looked at that in confusion, then yelped and jumped out of the way just in time to avoid being smashed as a giant metal mallet popping out of the opening, smashing into the spot where he'd just been standing, with enough force to leave a sizable hole in the floor.

"…Perhaps Zim is underestimating things slightly," Zim said in a slight daze, before shaking it off and glaring at the Vault door, "But Zim will not be defeated by inferior human technology!"

With a growl, Zim ripped the panel off the wall and started messing around with the exposed wires with grumbled swears, while behind him, GIR had pulled a weenie on a stick out of somewhere and was roasting it over one of the smoldering patches on the semi-conscious Skoodge's shirt.

XXXXXXX

Meanwhile, back inside the Vault, Dib and Viera were still carefully making their way through the room. Slowly, they would hop from one panel to another until they neared a display case, look at it long enough to see whether or not it had what they were looking for, then move on. This methodical approach allowed them to cover most of the room relatively quickly, but still with no sign of the Ikiwikinomicon in sight.

As Dib reached the end of the hall and saw nothing more noticeably than an old shirt covered in some disturbingly red stains, he started to worry that maybe someone had already moved the book, when Viera whistled sharply. Looking towards her, he saw her gesturing excitedly to join her. Nodding in response, he started hopping across safe panels in her direction, soon landing on one a few feet away. Turning to where she was looking, he was greeted by the sight of the book in question, inside a glass display case and mounted in such a way that it looked like it was staring right at them.

"Well, that's even creepier in person," Dib commented.

"No argument from me," Viera said, "Now, how do we get it out of here without triggering what I'm sure is an overly-excessive and potentially deadly countermeasure?"

"Steve, there any security measures tied into the display case, or can we just smash it?" Dib asked.

" _Been checking it out, but it doesn't look like it,_ " Steve replied, " _It's probably safe to- whoa!_ "

"What? What is it?" Viera asked, startled by the sudden panic in her brother's voice.

" _The system just lit up with alerts,_ " he said, " _Looks like someone's trying to force their way into the Vault through the door. Checking the security cameras now… oh, you've gotta be kidding me._ "

Dib and Viera blinked as Steve's tone suddenly shifted from worried to deadpan. However, before either of them could question it, there was a sudden explosion behind them. Spinning around to face the source of it, they were greeted by the sight of a column of smoke, which quickly dispersed to reveal a hole in the Vault's door, the edges of it still glowing a faint red.

"Victory for Zim! No pathetic human security systems can keep me from what I desire!"

"But you didn't beat the lock, you just blew up the door."

"Silence! We can get in, that's all that matters!"

"Oh, come on, really?" Dib groaned as Zim and Skoodge emerged from the last remnants of the smoke, passing through the new hole in the door to enter the Vault. Zim stood proudly with his hands planted on his hips, triumphant smirk on his face as his eyes swept over the room, but that faded into disbelief as his gaze fell on Dib and Viera.

"Dib-Stink! Girl Not-Dib! What are you doing here?!" he exclaimed in startled anger, before trailing off into confusion, "And why are you both dressed like that?"

"It's a fantasy convention, how else were we supposed to blend in?" Viera asked, while grabbing her amulet and aiming it at the Irkens.

"Why does everyone care about these stupid costumes so much?" Zim growled in annoyance, before shaking his head determinedly, "Never mind, it does not matter! You will not stop me from claiming that fat writer human's shirt!"

"Seriously, that's what you're here for?" Dib asked, glancing at the shirt he had noticed earlier.

"Yes, Zim will destroy it and incite a riot among the obsessive filth monkeys to cause random destruction to this disgusting city!" Zim proclaimed.

The humans stared at him incredulously for several moments, exchanging glances before looking back to him.

"…Is that it?" Dib finally asked, "That seems lazy by your standards."

"Yeah. I mean, I haven't known you as long as Dib has, but you always struck me as more of a large-scale kind of guy than that," Viera added.

"Well, we _do_ have some bigger-scale stuff cooking, he just hit a block on it," Skoodge commented, earning him a backhand from Zim.

"Do not tell them that!" he snapped, before turning back to the humans, "And you think you're so clever? Then what are you doing here?"

"None of your business," Dib replied, wishing that he'd brought his gauntlets after all.

"You dare to not answer Zim's questions?" Zim growled, stepping forward… and setting foot on one of the red-lit floor panels, which buzzed as it was triggered.

"Eh? AH!" Zim yelped, jumping out of the way as several lasers fired at the spot where he'd just been standing.

"Well, there's an upside to this situation," Viera noted, as the Irkens started eyeing the floor warily, "At least this stupid security system will keep them at bay for a few minutes."

"Hey Steve, any chance you can do better with that?" Dib asked.

" _Way ahead of you. And voila!_ " Steve replied, just before the entire half of the floor closest to the door and the Irkens flashed back to the default setting it had been on when they'd first entered the room, " _There, that should buy you a little time to figure out what you're going to do next._ "

"I don't know how you did that, but it won't save you, Dib-Monkey!" Zim called from the doorway, "GIR! Figure out a safe way through this laser maze!"

"Yes sir!" GIR said with a salute, leaping forward to land on one of the floor panels, jumping out of the way as several lasers fired. He continued to hop from panel to panel, staying just ahead of the lasers, for the next several minutes. At which point it became clear that rather than trying to find a safe path, he was making a game out of it.

"GIR! Stop playing around and take this seriously!" Zim demanded, "We must find a way across this room!"

"Nyah!"

Minimoose's squeak caught everyone's attention, and they all turned to see him casually floating across the room, well above the floor and therefore not being targeted by the lasers.

"Huh, you'd think we'd have thought of that sooner," Skoodge commented, while Zim smirked as he watched his minion advance.

"Ah, crap," Dib said, as he watched Minimoose approach. Viera, meanwhile, took a more proactive approach, launching several fire balls at the purple moose. However, he easily dodged each attack and kept coming, energy starting to build up around his antlers for an attack of his own…

And that was when every light in the room switched off. As everyone found themselves blinking in the resulting darkness, even the lasers having ceased firing, there was a loud rumbling sound from above, where a new light suddenly began emanating. Looking towards it, the humans and Irkens were greeted by the sight of the ceiling to the Vault sliding open, light streaming down from above via several openings in what appeared to be a secondary layer of ceiling. And before they could process this, the room started shaking.

"Now what?" Dib exclaimed, nearly being knocked off his feet by the shaking and bracing himself against one of the display cases.

"Steve, what's happening?" Viera asked, likewise almost falling over but managing to just barely keep hold of her balance.

" _Oh, I don't believe this!_ " Steve exclaimed, " _It looks like the entire is built like a giant elevator! It's lifting everything up to the main hall so that everything can dramatically rise through the floor!_ "

"That is just… wait a minute," Dib said, looking around at the walls — which now seemed to be sliding by as the floor started to ascend — and then up at the holes in the ceiling, then paled as he connected the dots, "Crap! There's only room for the display cases! We'll be crushed!"

Everyone else's eyes widened as they suddenly likewise grasped the situation, panic gripping them. Yelping, Zim spun around to see that the hole he'd blown into the door was already half covered by the rising floor. Without hesitance or a second glance towards his minions, he leapt through the remaining space to crash back into the hallway. Skoodge followed after him, scrambling to squeeze through the narrowing space, and getting a helpful push by GIR, who jumped in to shove him through. Minimoose then brought up the rear, floating back across the room at a faster pace than normal and managing to squeeze through just before the hole was cut off completely.

Meanwhile, Dib and Viera had likewise bolted across the room back towards the vent they'd entered through. Thanks to it now being much closer to the rising floor, they were both able to jump into it in time to avoid being cut off by the floor moving past the vent's opening. Taking only a moment to catch their breath after the near miss, they crawled the rest of the way through the vent, dropping out back into the hallway.

"Well, that was a total waste of time," Dib groaned, leaning against the wall as the sudden adrenaline rush died down, "Now the book's up there, surrounded by people who think it's just a prop and might end up misusing it. We might as well have not come down here at all!"

"Get a grip," Viera said, reaching down to help pull him to his feet, "We may have lost the chance to grab the book before anyone could see it, but we can still keep an eye on it and keep anyone from being stupid enough to try and use it. _Then_ we can try again to grab it when the show's over."

"Right, you're right," Dib said, nodding in agreement as he stood up, "We've been through worse than all this nonsense. This is nothing. Let's go-"

"Ahh!" Zim yelled as he suddenly burst out from around a corner, Dib just barely managing to dodge a slash from Zim's PAK legs.

"Seriously?" Viera asked, as the rest of Zim's group emerged into view, "We don't even care that you're after that stupid shirt!"

"Zim takes his victories where he can get them, Not-Dib," Zim replied with a casual shrug.

"Well take _this_ , Space-Jerk," Dib spat, grabbing his prop staff from where he'd dropped it earlier and swinging it at Zim, who dodged out of the way. Skoodge, who was standing behind him, was less fortunate and took the blow straight to the face, knocking him out before he even landed on his back.

"Ha! Missed!" Zim crowed.

_CRACK_

Then he fell over, eyes glazed and grin still plastered on his face, to reveal Viera had come up behind him and hit him over the head with the bag holding her crystal ball, which was clutched in her hand like a cudgel.

"See?" she said to Dib with a smirk, "Plenty of uses for good crystal."

"Okay, yeah, you told me so," Dib said with an eye roll, but still smiling, "Now let's get back upstairs before anything else goes wrong."

With that said, the pair ran for the stairs, leaving the two unconscious Irkens behind, GIR poking them while Minimoose floated aimlessly above them. And within a few minutes, they were back on the main level.

" _Okay, looks like everyone's gathered in the main hall for the big presentation,_ " Steve said, " _With any luck everyone will be distracted by the rest of the memorabilia and won't make too big a fuss over the book. Other than that, I don't see how you can grab it without being spotted._ "

"We'll figure it out," Dib said, as the sounds of a cheering crowd started reaching them.

Emerging out of a side hallway, they found themselves at the rear of what appeared to be a crowd composed of every single person at the convention. Looking over their heads showed that they had all gathered around a roped-off clear space in the middle of the room. Or at least, it apparently had been clear beforehand. Now though, all the display cases from the Vault had risen up, and everyone was surging forward to try and get a good look at it all.

"Settle down, folks," the convention MC said, standing on a raised stage positioned right next to the roped-off section, "I know you're all excited, and I don't blame you. We've got the very typewriters and pens that wrote your favorite books. We've got props from your favorite movies and shows. We've even got the guns that several celebrated writers committed suicide with!"

"Why in the world would you have those?" Martin Richards asked from where he was seated next to the MC, "And why would you have them on display here? Isn't that a little morbid?"

"And of course, our central showpiece!" the MC continued, ignoring Richards' comment, "The very fabled shirt without which _Battle of Crowns_ would have never existed!"

"And what a shame that would have been," someone loudly cut in from where a large group of people in _Master of the Jewelry_ cosplay were gathered, a sneer audible in their voice.

"Shut up! No one cares what you hacks think!" someone else shouted from where the _Battle of Crowns_ fans had congregated.

"As I was saying!" the MC said quickly, interrupting the budding fight, "Not only do we have the shirt, but Mr. Richards has agreed to wear it for us!"

"I never agreed to that!" Richards protested.

"You should really read the fine print on those appearance contracts, Martin," the MC chuckled condescendingly, "Now, let's get it on you."

"What does it say about our culture that people get this excited about a writer putting on a dirty old shirt?" Viera asked with mild disgust as Richards' further protests were drowned out by his fans' uproarious yells.

"Try not to think about it too much," Dib replied, watching as Richards reluctantly got up from his seat and followed the MC towards the display case holding his old shirt, "Still, if they're getting all riled up about it, maybe we can use the distraction to grab the book?"

_ZAP_

Before Viera could even open her mouth to try and reply, a laser blast flew through the air over their heads and hit the display case holding the shirt, shattering the glass and incinerating the article of clothing, Richards and the MC rearing back in surprise as the laser barely avoided hitting them. As the crowd gasped in shock, Dib and Viera's eyes widened, and they spun around to face where the laser had come from, finding Zim leaning out from behind a booth, smirking as a smoking spider leg retracted back into his PAK.

"Ah, crap," Dib and Viera said at the same time, as outraged yells emerged from the _Battle of Crowns_ crowd.

"You! You people did this!" someone dressed in a full body suit of knightly armor practically snarled at the _Master of the Jewelry_ crowd, emerging to point dramatically at them.

"What? Why would we?" a guy dressed as an elf in a suit of lighter armor countered with a sneer, "What makes you think we care about your crummy shirt?"

"Because it was a great cultural icon for us, and you were jealous you didn't have anything like it, so you wanted to spite us!" the knight declared, his crowd shouting in solidarity with him.

"Oh yeah? Well maybe you losers realized what a pathetic display that thing was, so you destroyed it yourselves and now you're trying to frame us for it!" the elf guy replied, his crowd likewise backing him up.

"How dare you, you cliched hacks?!"

"Deconstructive nonsense lovers!"

"Flat characterizations!"

"Too dark for the genre!"

"Too academic!"

"Badly written!"

The two apparent spokespeople for their respective groups had been steadily getting closer to each other as they exchanged insults. But that final one appeared to be the last straw, and the knight lashed out with a punch that connected with the elf's face, knocking him flat. There was a moment of stunned silence after that, then with roars of outrage, several of the elf's comrades tackled the knight, whose own crowd charged in retaliation.

Dib and Viera could only watch as the two sides quickly devolved into a full-blown riot, the rest of the crowd rapidly getting swallowed up by it. The two of them quickly backpedaled to get out of the way, only to almost literally bump into Zim's group as they came up behind them.

"Behold Zim's victory, Dib-Stink and Not-Dib!" he crowed.

"Seriously, this is all you've got, causing this mess?" Dib asked, giving his nemesis a deadpan glare, "This is just sad."

"Yeah, this barely qualifies as Saturday morning cartoon villainy," Viera added.

"Silence! Who cares what you think?! Zim made this happen and that's all that matters!" Zim screeched, "And furthermore, I-"

"Uh, is that thing supposed to be doing that?" Skoodge interrupted. Everyone followed his pointing finger, and were greeted by the sight of the Ikiwikinomicon, which had started to glow with a pulsing red light from its inlaid runes.

"Oh no," Viera said, paling, "It's feeding on the chaos of this stupid riot and waking up!"

"Exactly as Zim planned!" Zim exclaimed.

"What are you talking about, you don't even know what that is!" Dib snapped, "Are you just instinctively taking credit for anything terrible that happens?"

Before Zim could either confirm or deny that, the face carved into the Ikiwikinomicon's cover twisted into a snarl, before its mouth split open and a high-pitched shriek rang out. As everyone flinched and buckled under the intense sound, the book flipped open, the symbols running along its pages glowing brightly, the glow soon coalescing into a swirling vortex, out of which shot bolts of energy glowing the same color. These arcane lightning bolts rained down on the rioting crowd, which had somehow blocked out the shriek to keep up the fighting.

Dib, Viera, and the Irkens could only watch as everyone hit by one of the arcane blasts froze in place and started glowing with the same light as the book, so intensely that they each became blocked from view for several moments. And when they eventually became visible again, it made for a shocking sight. Everyone who had been zapped by the energy had twisted into hideously deformed monstrosities — their skin looked decayed, their eyes were bulging and red, and they had ragged claws and mouths full of fangs.

There was a brief moment of stunned silence, and then the mutated people turned and attacked those who had avoided being transformed. And the number of people in that latter category was rapidly diminishing, as the book continued to rain down mystical energy; oddly, this bunch seemed more inclined to be transformed into twisted versions of their costumes than the undead that the first group had become.

"We need to stop that thing before this spreads any farther!" Dib shouted, watching everything in shock.

"I have an idea, but we need to get closer," Viera said.

"Then let's go," Dib said, the pair jumping into the fray. The Irkens watched them go, weaving their way through the crowd of panicked people and the newly-formed monsters attacking them, until they both disappeared from sight.

"So, should we get involved?" Skoodge asked, watching the situation in front of him warily.

"Tch, I'm sure Dib and his little friend will handle this in no time," Zim scoffed, "In the meantime, Zim intends to enjoy watching some humans suffering. Heh, perhaps I can even bend some of these creatures to my mighty will."

Just as Zim said this, a guy in a dragon costume ran past, only to be zapped in the back by a magic bolt. Seconds later, he had transformed into an actual eight-foot-tall dragon, albeit one that looked zombified. Looming over the Irkens, it snarled and unleashed a blast of reddish-purple flames before running off.

As the smoke cleared from the sudden attack, Skoodge was greeted by the sight of a scorched Zim, parts of his uniform and wig still burning. The renegade Invader, looking rather stunned, coughed up a bit of ash and then fell over.

"Master smells like BBQ!" GIR said happily.

"Uh, Zim? Stupid question, but are you alright?" Skoodge asked.

"…Zim has decided that a tactical withdrawal is in order," Zim responded weakly, "Minimoose, get me out of here."

"Nyah!" Minimoose responded, before levitating Zim up and floating away with him, Skoodge grabbing GIR and following after them.

Meanwhile, Dib and Viera had managed to make it partway through the now chaotic crowd before the transformed people took notice of them. With snarls and roars, the various monsters attempted to attack them, only to be knocked by swings of Dib's staff or fireballs from Viera's amulet. Eventually reaching the stage, they jumped up on it, knocking aside the few monsters that followed them, the rest seeming to lose interest once they were out of reach.

"This is a disaster!" a voice drew their attention to where the MC and Martin Richards were cowering behind their seats, the former having been the one to speak, "We're liable for this!"

" _That's_ what you're worried about?" Richards demanded incredulously.

"Do you know how much we're going to have to pay the Convention Center's owners for damages?!" the MC demanded. Looking around, the man spotted and picked up a prop sword someone had dropped, and shoved it into Richards' hands.

"Here, go fight them off!"

"What?!"

"A famous fantasy writer leading the charge against a bunch of psychotic cosplayers? People will pay through the nose for that footage!" the MC exclaimed manically.

"…" Richards gave the MC a deadpan stare for a few moments, before pointing behind him, "Hey, what's that?"

"What's wh-AAAHHH!" the MC said as he turned around, only for Richards to suddenly grab him and toss him into the crowd, the monsters quickly descending on him.

"Well, that was satisfying," Richards said, before turning to the surprised Dib and Viera, "You kids do what you want, I'm gonna go sneak out the back."

Dib and Viera watched the writer run off away from the chaos, before turning to each other with arched eyebrows.

"Well, that happened," Dib said after a moment, before shaking it off, "So, what do we need to do?"

"From what I've read, the Ikiwikinomicon is invulnerable from external harm, so we need to destroy it from inside," Viera replied.

"And you have an idea on how to do that?"

"Yep. I charge this thing up with concentrated fire energy and toss it into the book's vortex," Viera said, holding up the crystal ball she'd bought earlier.

"…You're gonna keep saying 'I told you so' about buying that, aren't you?" Dib asked dryly.

"Nope, I'll just let you think about it," Viera said with a playful smirk, before growing serious again, "Think you can keep these freaks off my back long enough for me to do this?"

Before Dib could respond, several of the mutated undead leapt into the air towards the stage… and were promptly blasted out of the air. Blinking, Dib and Viera turned and saw Steve standing nearby, blasters in both hands. Noting their surprised looks, he shrugged.

"With everything going to hell in here, being mission control didn't seem as important anymore," he said, tossing Dib one of his weapons, "We'll cover you, sis. You handle the rest."

Viera nodded and sat crosslegged with the crystal and her amulet clasped together in her hands. As she started chanting inaudibly, both objects beginning to glow in response, the boys turned back to the crowd, which appeared to have almost completely been transformed. Perhaps acting on instinct, the monsters noticed the apparently only normal humans left in the hall and charged the stage they were on, only to be held back by a barrage of plasma bolts.

"Should we be feeling guilty about this?" Steve asked, while casually shooting a bat-man out of the air.

"Nah, it looks like we're only stunning them, not seriously hurting them," Dib replied, knocking a zombie woman to the floor, only for her to get back up, "But I don't know how much longer we can keep this up. Viera, could you pick up the pace maybe?!"

"Don't rush me, we only have one chance at this!" Viera shouted back, focus staying entirely on her hands, where fiery red energy was pouring from her amulet into the crystal ball, until the latter was practically a miniature spotlight, "Alright, it's charged. Dib, batter up!"

Dib blinked in confusion for a moment, before he realized what she meant. Tossing his blaster back to Steve, he picked his phony staff back up and held it like a baseball bat. Viera then hefted the crystal ball and threw it at him, Dib smacking the staff into it as hard as he could.

As both had hoped, the crystal went flying through the air straight towards where the Ikiwikinomicon was floating, slamming right into the middle of it. The ball sank halfway into the vortex, sparking with energy as cracks spread across it, while the book shook heavily before slamming shut, revealing that the face carved into its cover now looked extremely confused. Then it twisted in pain, unleashing another shriek before the book suddenly exploded, unleashing a purple wave that washed over the hall, sending everyone flying.

When Steve regained his senses a few minutes later, he found himself lying on the floor next to the stage, having been knocked off it by the blast. Looking around, he saw to his immense relief that the convention attendees had all apparently been returned to normal by the book's destruction, the lot of them now lying sprawled around the hall in confused masses.

Then he looked over and saw that Dib and Viera had somehow landed in such a way as to have ended up in a tangled sprawl. Which was hilarious, for reasons he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"You guys alright?" he asked, trying to keep his amusement out of his voice as he watched the pair struggle for a few moments to untangle themselves.

"Yeah, we're good," Dib said once the two of them managed to get back to their feet.

"A little sore, but probably better off than everyone else here," Viera said, surveying the scene, before flashing a smile at Dib, "Nice job with that swing."

"Oh, thanks. Uh, just lucky I guess," he replied, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head, before pausing and looking around, "And speaking of luck, knowing mine, we should probably get out of here before we're blamed for this mess."

The twins took a minute to consider that, looking around at all the booths and displays that had been damaged by either the riot or the rampaging monsters — not to mention the small, smoldering crater on the floor under where the Ikiwikinomicon had been floating — and quickly nodded in agreement. The trio made a quick beeline for the nearest exit, and slipped away down the street.

"You know, aside from the riot and mini-apocalypse, this was almost fun," Viera commented, "I might actually reconsider my opinion on conventions."

"Yeah, but let's not make it a habit," Steve said, "We do kinda have more important stuff to worry about."

"Agreed," Dib said, "Now let's return these costumes, get our normal clothes back, and call it a day."

Again, the twins nodded in agreement, and with that the three of them put the Convention Center behind them, already moving on towards greater adventures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blargh. There, finally done, and it does not feel worth the time and effort. I hope you all enjoyed it regardless of how much of it was just padding in a filler chapter. But on the bright side, I can tell you all that the next several chapters are all arc-centric, so they should be much better.
> 
> Anyway, to answer the question I'm sure many of you will be asking — yes, I plan on shipping Dib/Viera. Yes, I'm aware this is probably a terrible idea, judging by my past experience in writing romance. But, I'm gonna give it a go anyway, so please bear with me.
> 
> Also, I meant no offense to anyone in the convention community. This was meant as parody, not mockery. Oh, and originally it was going to be sci-fi themed, with parodies of Star Trek and Star Wars going at it, but fantasy felt better.
> 
> Please review! And again, everyone stay safe out there.


	10. Tournament of Doom, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tallest host a grand meeting of all their Invaders. And three guesses who crashes it (actually, you may be surprised).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go folks, new chapter. One that I have been looking forward to writing since Season 1, actually, when I first started plotting out this season's arc in advance. I think you'll understand why once it gets underway, so let's not delay it with any more small talk (other than to once again wish everyone health and safety in these troubling times).
> 
> Read on!

It was another busy, bustling day in Apex, capital city of the Irken Empire. Millions of Irkens made their way to and fro along the streets and between buildings, the shadow of Tallest Tower covering all of them and hover screens floating through the air above, constantly displaying propaganda designed to encourage obedience. All signs of a very typical day on Irk.

Then something that wasn't supposed to be typical, but which was becoming distressingly regular, happened. The screens all went to static as their broadcast signal was hijacked, soon resolving into a by-now familiar New Irken Order logo. Every single Irken stopped dead in their tracks to look at the screens, as another burst of static revealed the masked figure of Miz.

" ** _My fellow Irkens, this is Miz speaking,_** " the revolutionary gave his trademark line, " ** _And today, I wish to talk with you all about the glaring obscenity that is the influence that the Tallest have over our lives. Not just as our default military or political leaders — not that they actually do much in either field, though that's another subject — but through their stranglehold on our very culture. If they say something, that's how it must be, regardless of how pointless or petty it is. Case in point, the use of thumbs._** "

To illustrate his point, Miz lifted both hands and wiggled his thumbs.

" ** _For some completely moronic reason, the Tallest remove their thumbs upon taking the throne to somehow symbolize their ability to rule even with a minor handicap,_** " Miz said, " ** _And because of this, they try to deny the rest of us the full use of our own thumbs out of petty jealousy of us still having them. To the point that they've gone so far as to outlaw the thumbs up, a simple gesture used by every species in the galaxy with thumbs or the equivalent appendage. An utterly ridiculous piece of repression that exists only to make them feel better about an idiotic custom._** "

A murmur ran through the crowds as they listened to this. Many looked down at their own thumbs, it clearly having never occurred to them before that their use of them was legally limited.

" ** _Well, enough of this nonsense!_** " Miz declared, " ** _Today, I am reclaiming this gesture, the right to use the entirety of our hands as we want, for all of us! Let it now be a symbol of this movement, the revolution that will soon come and topple the corruption of the Tallest! Long live the New Order!_** "

With that final statement, Miz flung his arms out and flashed both thumbs up at the camera. The screens went to static again momentarily, then returned to the propaganda feed they'd been running before this interruption had occurred. As they did, the crowds of Irkens turned to stare at each other, murmuring quietly over what had just happened.

"Whoo!" a voice broke the silence in the central square surrounding Tallest Tower, a particularly short Irken in a janitor's uniform jumping up from the crowd and flashing thumbs up, "Thumbs up! We can do whatever we want with our hands! Long live-!"

_ZAP_

The janitor's rant was cut off as quickly as it started, as a security officer came up behind him and jabbed a shock spear into his PAK. As he fell twitching to the ground, several other officers came up to join the first one, all of them glaring at the crowd.

"Disperse at once, before you're all charged with aiding and abetting this sedition," the lead officer said as his comrades carried off the shocked offender.

The crowd all silently stared at the officers before obeying the order and returning to whatever business they had beforehand. Though tellingly, many of them hesitated for several moments before doing so.

XXXXXXX

"Why are we watching this?" Purple groaned in boredom. He and Red were standing in a private communications chamber aboard the Massive, Commander Wiyn standing a respectable distance away near the door. In front of the Tallest were a series of screens, displaying the Apex population's reaction to Miz's latest broadcast. Including several cases of security officers having to drag away Irkens loudly declaring their support for the rogue's speech.

In response to Purple's question, the screens changed to a live feed of the Control Brains' chamber back on Irk, their array of glowing red eyes glaring back at the Tallest.

"We are watching this, Tallest Purple, because it is a sign of how the cancer that is this Defective's treason is spreading," one of the Brains stated.

"With each new broadcast, more and more members of the lower ranks and castes shows signs of being swayed by his rhetoric," another Brain added, "To the point that, as you can see from the footage, they are actually publicly praising him, even on the streets of our own capital!"

"Sounds more like a failure on the part of both Imperial Security and the Consulars than anything you can be mad at us about," Red commented.

"You were warned about our concerns regarding the Miz movement, and you have not taken them seriously," a Brain said firmly, "Now they are spreading to every corner of our society."

"Well, I wouldn't say _every_ corner. Isn't that right, Commander?" Red countered, turning to Wiyn at that last comment, who straightened up in response.

"Yes, my Tallest," she replied, "Ever since that one traitor was eliminated, we've had no other indications of Miz-based sedition or treason onboard the _Massive_ or anywhere else in the Armada."

"See? We've been handling stuff just fine. This is all somebody else's fault," Purple said petulantly.

"We are not here to assign blame, but to discuss a course of action," one of the Brains responded.

"I assume that one has already been decided on?" Red asked, recognizing the tone in the Brains' mechanical voices.

"Yes. We have determined that the best way to suppress support for Miz is to remind the populace of the Empire's might," that same Brain explained, "To this end, we have decided that all Invaders shall be gathered in a grand tournament, which will showcase their skills as the finest warriors in all the Irken Elite."

"And to truly display our military strength, the winner of the tournament shall be gifted with promotion, and given command of our newest battleship," another Brain added, catching the Tallest by surprise.

"You're going to give them the _Dreadnut_?" Red asked in utter disbelief.

"' _Dreadnut_ '?" Wiyn echoed, squinting an eye at the name.

"Well, it was supposed to be the _Dreadnaught_ , but then someone decided it should be called the _Doughnut_ instead," Red explained, shooting an annoyed glare at his co-ruler.

" _Dreadnaught's_ a stupid name!" Purple snapped back, crossing his arms.

"Anyway, we eventually compromised and compounded the two names," Red continued, before turning back to the Control Brains, "It was just completed, and I had thought it was going to be serving as our secondary capital ship, but apparently we're just going to give it away to some random Invader?"

"The most powerful ship in the Armada short of the Massive itself, gifted to the Invader who proves themselves to be the single greatest soldier in the entire Empire," one of the Brains said, "It will be magnificent propaganda, reminding all Irkens of the greatness of our society, and helping them see the error in Miz's words."

"Meh, if you say so," Purple said with a shrug, "So, when is this going to happen?"

"We have drafted outlines for the tournament's announcement and events," a Brain replied, "We will allow you to finalize details, but we want this to happen soon. Is that understood?"

"Of course," Red said with a bowed head, Purple and Wiyn following his example, "Send the information to the Advisory Council. We'll meet with them promptly and have everything prepared quickly."

"See that you do," the Control Brains said firmly, before cutting communications and leaving the three Irkens standing in silence for a moment.

"So, I guess we go do that now?" Purple asked.

"Best to get it out of the way," Red said, before turning to Wiyn, "Commander, get in contact with security forces on Conventia and start organizing them for a large event. We'll get you the details once we've worked them all out."

"Yes, my Tallest," Wiyn responded with a salute before marching off, while the Tallest floated off to meet with their Advisors and start drafting a plan for the tournament.

_Deelishus Weenie Building, Two Days Later_

Tak and Tenn stood before the main console in their base's central control room. Tak was hunched over the console itself, typing away and muttering angrily to herself, while Tenn watched her with a bored expression.

"You know, you can just admit you have no ideas for any new conquest plans," Tenn finally said, "Rather than standing there pretending that you're working."

"I have plenty of ideas!" Tak snapped, "It's not my fault that we lack the resources to immediately implement any of them! Not to mention this whole Spring Break thing will be over soon, and then we go back to wasting half of every day in that disgusting educational facility."

"A good Invader knows when to step back and merely observe, rather than trying to force progress on the mission," Tenn replied, which earned her a dirty look from her partner.

"How about instead of standing there criticizing me and dropping pearls of wisdom, you actually try coming up with a plan of your own?" Tak sneered.

Before Tenn could retort to that, a ringing alert sounded from the console. Looking to it, the Irken pair saw that they were receiving a message on the general Imperial broadcast channel. Sharing a look with Tenn and shrugging, Tak hit a button, and with a jaunty tune, an animated figure with the Imperial logo for a head appeared on the screen, dancing along to the music.

" _Attention all loyal Irken subjects!_ " the figure declared, " _By decree of the Almighty Tallest, a grand tournament is to be held in two days on Conventia. All active and former Invaders are invited to partake in a competition to display their skills as the greatest soldiers in the universe! And the winner shall be granted the honor of being promoted to command the Armada's new secondary flagship, the Dreadnut! All other Irkens are invited to attend and witness the glorious combat firsthand! Do so, or feel burning shame for the rest of your days! All hail the Tallest, and glory to the Empire!_ "

With that, the message ended, leaving the female pair staring at the screen for a few moments before looking at each other again.

"…Well, I guess that settles the question of what we'll be doing in the near future," Tak said after a moment, a smirk forming on her face. Tenn, meanwhile, cocked an antenna at her.

"Would you even be allowed to participate?" she asked, "I mean, I know the Tallest okayed you trying to conquer Earth, but you're not _officially_ an Invader."

"They approved of my mission, that's all that matters," Tak snapped, "And considering I'm the only one with a working ship around here, which I'm not about to let you use without me, you should maybe consider keeping such smart remarks to yourself!"

"Fine, whatever," Tenn said, holding up her hands defensively, "Just don't blame me if they don't let you in."

"Grr, just get ready to leave," Tak growled, before turning to stomp off out of the room. Tenn watched her go, before glancing at the console screen again and then shaking her head.

"Well, this is going to be an interesting couple of days," she muttered, "Still, an opportunity to remind everyone that I'm the best, and to get away from this disgusting planet for a little while, should be worth the headache."

Having assured herself, Tenn also left the room, to prepare for the trip.

_Zim's Base, Same Time_

Zim and his minions stood in his central control room, watching the tournament announcement and invite play out.

"I'm surprised we were even able to get the message," Skoodge commented after the video concluded, "You know, what with us being exiled and renegade and all."

"The message was broadcast on all frequencies, presumably to ensure it was received by all Irkens regardless of where they are," the Computer replied, "Given that the Master and the rest of you are the only ones we know of that are in open, self-identified rebellion against the Empire, it's unlikely that anyone thought it necessary to alter the scope of the broadcast."

"Tch, typical lazy imperial bureaucrats. Always going with the cheapest, easiest option," Nyx scoffed, "I'm just wondering why the Tallest are suddenly doing something like this."

"Isn't it obvious?" Zim asked with a smirk, "Clearly my speeches as Miz are having the desired effect and riling the Empire's population up too much for their comfort. So they're pulling a giant propaganda stunt to make themselves look better."

"Well, it'll probably work," Skoodge said with a shrug, "I mean, every single Invader competing for their own battleship, with half the Empire in the audience? It'll be the event of the millennium."

"Hmm," Zim said in response to that, rubbing his chin in thought. As the others watched him curiously, he tapped away at the console, rewinding the message to a specific spot and starting it again.

" _All active and former Invaders are invited to partake in a competition-_ "

_TAP_

" _All active and former Invaders are invited-_ "

_TAP_

" _All active and former Invaders-_ "

Stopping the message, Zim stared intently at the screen for a few seconds, then began slowly chuckling, which soon grew into a full-blown maniacal laugh. Confused, Nyx looked to Skoodge, who merely shrugged in response, leaving the two to stare at Zim until he composed himself.

"Oh, those fools," he hissed happily, "They don't even realize the opportunity they've given me!"

"Say what?" Skoodge asked, completely baffled.

"Never mind, Zim will explain on the way," Zim replied, turning to face the two of them, "Grab the robots and prepare the ships. We have a trip to make!"

Blinking in further confusion, Nyx and Skoodge nevertheless obeyed the order, saluting and departing the room. Zim didn't bother watching them go, instead turning his attention back to the console, a scheme rapidly taking shape in his mind.

Oh yes, this was going to be fun…

_Membrane Household, Same Time_

Dib was in a very good mood when he greeted the twins at his front door and ushered them into his house. In fact, he was practically bouncing with giddy energy around the living room as they watched him from their spots on the couch.

"So, are you going to tell us what you're so excited about, or are we supposed to guess?" Viera asked.

"Right, sorry, this is just huge news!" Dib said with a grin, "I think I finally have a way to get the ship up and running again!"

"Really?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically, "No offense, man, but you've been trying for months, and last time was pretty much a fluke. What makes you think you've figured it out now?"

"Because before I didn't have one of these!" Dib replied, dramatically pulling a box out from under the coffee table, and pulling out of said box a large metal cube covered in flashing lights.

"And that is what, exactly?"

"A quantum flux capacitor," Dib explained happily, "My dad invented them as a new means of processing massive amounts of energy. I've run the numbers, and if I'm right, if we install this into the ship it should bypass the damaged systems and get everything operational again."

"How'd you convince your dad to give you that?" Viera asked.

"Er," Dib coughed awkwardly, his excitement diminishing slightly, "I, sorta, kinda didn't ask his permission, actually. But he's got like a dozen of them in storage down in his basement lab, he won't miss it!"

"…He just keeps those things in your basement?"

"He keeps all kinds of things down there," Dib replied with a shrug, "Anyway, I wanted you guys here when I install this thing. If this works, I want us all to share in the moment."

"Again, not trying to sound skeptical, but what are the odds that if it doesn't work it'll blow us all up?" Steve asked dryly.

"I should be so lucky," Gaz commented as she emerged from the kitchen with a soda can in hand, "Then I wouldn't have to listen to you losers blather anymore."

"Yeah? Well, who asked… uh," Viera started to say as she turned to face Gaz, only to trail off in surprise as she actually saw her, "Are you wearing a dog collar?"

"You got a problem with that?" Gaz asked in return, opening the can by using one of the spikes on her collar to punch a hole through the top of it.

"Er, no, I'm good," Viera said quickly. Gaz grunted, then headed towards the stairs, sipping from her soda as she went. Viera watched her go, then when she was out of sight turned back to Dib and pointed after Gaz with a look of confusion on her face.

"I have no idea," Dib answered the unasked question, "She was wearing it when she got back from her trip with Nyx, and won't tell me what the deal is with it. I figure it's best to just nod and ignore it."

"Right," Steve said slowly, "Anyway, back to the subject at hand, are we sure we want to risk using this thing?"

"We don't really have a choice," Dib said, "Getting the ship working will level the playing field with the Irkens just a little, and every bit counts."

The twins shared a look in silent communication, before nodding in agreement.

"Okay then, let's do it," Viera said. The twins stood up and followed Dib out to the garage, where it appeared he had already prepped the Spittle Runner for maintenance. For the next twenty minutes, the three worked together to remove a few damaged portions of the hardware from beneath the main control console and install the capacitor. Then they stood back, and after taking a moment to brace themselves, Dib hit the activation button.

For a few seconds nothing happened. Then the console's screens flickered to life all at once, lines of code running across them before switching to the default Irken logo. Eyes widening, Dib snapped his attention over to where a laptop had been plugged into the console and was translating the Irken text.

"All systems optimal," he read, grinning widely, "It works! We did it!"

The trio whooped and cheered, high-fiving and having a quick group hug. After a couple of minutes, they eventually calmed down and managed to compose themselves.

"Okay then," Dib said, clasping his hands and rubbing them together in excitement, "This calls for a celebration. Who wants to go for a test flight?"

"Really?" Steve asked, grinning at the thought.

"What, you mean like, into space?" Viera asked, not as excited as her brother but still quite interested at the thought.

"Why not? I'm still kicking myself for not using it to do that back when I got it up and running the first time," Dib replied, "In fact, let's make a whole trip out of this. We make our excuses with our parents — not that my dad will care, but still — then meet up here and go for a little deep space flight. What do you think?"

"Sounds great to me!" Steve said immediately. Viera actually took a moment to think it over before nodding in agreement as well.

"Yeah, I'm in too," she said, "We can say we're going on a camping trip or something. Give us until tomorrow to set everything up?"

"Sure, you guys go ahead and get everything you need," Dib replied, "I'll see you back here tomorrow morning."

With that, the twins left, leaving Dib to practically skip up to his room to start getting ready himself. He could already tell this was going to be an awesome experience.

He had no idea how right he was.

_Conventia, Next Day_

As the _Massive_ and its support ships slipped into orbit around Conventia, the Tallest teleported down to the surface, accompanied by their Advisors, a few guards, and several senior officers. As they rematerialized in the private section of the planet's central convention hall building, Wiyn was in mid-sentence of a report.

"-when the Invaders arrive, which should happen over the course of today, they'll be redirected to the main lounge," she was saying to a mildly-interested Red and bored Purple, "After the welcome and orientation feast, they'll be ordered to stay there until the tournament itself starts tomorrow. Meanwhile, all the other Irkens who will be attending as guests or support staff will not be allowed entrance into the building until shortly before the beginning of the tournament, and only then after a thorough screening by my security teams. I assure you, my Tallest, that we have a total handle on everything, and there will be absolutely no surprises at-"

"Hello, my Tallest."

The group all yelped and jumped at the unexpected voice, Purple actually leaping into Red's arms. Turning to face it, they were surprised to find Darth standing a respectable distance away, bowing his head in greeting.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Wiyn snapped.

"What the Commander meant to say," Red quickly said, dropping Purple to the floor as he did so, "Is that this is an unexpected and… _pleasant_ surprise, Chief Consular. To what do we owe the honor of your presence?"

"This tournament is the largest gathering of the Elite since the beginning of Operation Impending Doom 2," Darth explained, "Given the current instability, the Control Brains felt it wise to have my Consulars on hand to help ensure that the tournament goes smoothly."

"My forces are more than sufficient to handle security here," Wiyn said, bristling at the implication she heard in Darth's words.

"Well then, our presence shouldn't be too much of a hinderance to your performance, should it?" Darth replied smoothly.

"Listen here, you smug blind-"

"Commander," Red interrupted sharply, immediately cutting Wiyn off, "While I admire your professional pride, if the Control Brains have ordered the Consulars here, you _will_ respect that decision. Is that understood?"

Gritting her teeth, Wiyn didn't verbally respond, settling for bowing her head in acknowledgement.

"Good," Red said, "So why don't the two of you go off and work out how to properly coordinate everything between your forces?"

"Of course, my Tallest," Wiyn said, reluctantly. Gesturing to Lieutenant Mook, she stomped towards the door, Mook following after her and Darth trailing behind. Everyone else watched them go, trading awkward looks at the clear animosity between the two.

"Well, this is going to be a fun couple of days," Senior said with a sigh.

"Just go make sure that everything's ready for broadcast when the tournament starts," Red said, not quite snapping at him. Shrugging, Senior gave a salute and walked off with his own support team, leaving the Tallest with their Advisors and guards. Purple, who had gotten back up from the floor at some point, finished dusting himself off and looked around.

"Do we need to send anyone else anywhere, or can we just get to that lounge Wiyn mentioned?" he asked. Red sighed and turned to the nearest Advisor, who took the unspoken cue.

"We're having the Service Drones from the _Massive_ integrated with the local ones, my Tallest," he said, "Though as the Commander said, they'll be screened before being allowed into the building, as a precaution."

"Well hurry up with that, I'm hungry!" Purple complained, Red rolling his eyes in response.

"Er, there should already be a fully-stocked buffet prepared in advance for your arrival, my Tallest," the Advisor said awkwardly.

"There, you happy now?" Red asked, holding up a hand to forestall any response from his co-ruler, "That was rhetorical. Let's just go get settled in and wait for the Invaders to start showing up."

With that, Red floated towards the door, Purple right behind him and the others following.

_Meanwhile, Elsewhere_

The Service Drones and other menial support staff from the _Massive_ were guided into the dank, not well-lit lower levels of the central convention hall and made to congregate in several large barrack rooms with the planet's preexisting staff. There, they were each given detailed work assignments for the days that the tournament would be taking place over, and each told when to present themselves to security officers for screening. After that, they were mostly left to their own devices, no one higher up seeing them as worth the effort to keep a close eye on.

As such, Bob was able to slip out of his assigned barracks without being noticed by anyone but his loyal muscle Garuk, who followed after him. Making their way down a corridor, they soon came across a solider leaning seemingly casually against a maintenance closet door. However, he subtly tensed up as he saw them approach, and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at them.

Hedging his bets that things had gone as planned, Bob didn't hesitate to raise one hand and defiantly give a thumbs up.

"Long live the New Order," he said firmly. The soldier stared silently at him for a moment, then slowly raised his hand to return the gesture.

"Long live the New Order," the soldier replied, before stepping aside and opening the door. Bob nodded in acknowledgment and walked into the closet, Garuk right behind him.

Calling the maintenance area a "closet" was a misnomer, as the storage space was big enough to fit a couple dozen people. Which it was at the moment, as short and midsized Irkens of several ranks had gathered; they were the leaders of various NIO cells from across the Empire, along with the agreed-upon one bodyguard for each.

"Welcome, my friends," Bob greeted as the door shut behind him, "This is truly a historic moment, the first organized meeting of the New Order's leadership-"

"So how about we don't waste time on speeches and get to the point?" someone cut him off. Bob frowned at the interruption and turned to the speaker, arching an antenna. Aside from being maybe an inch taller and with a slightly lankier build, the other Irken was nearly a mirror image of Bob himself.

"And you are?" he asked.

"Eloch, cell leader from Slumia," the lookalike replied, crossing his arms defiantly, "And I stand by what I said. We should be focusing on how we're going to strike against the Tallest, not pontificating."

"Fine, moving past the pleasantries then," Bob said, continuing to frown in annoyance, "As we all know, this will be the largest gathering of the Elite in years, with the eyes of the entire Empire on the tournament. This is the perfect opportunity to finally strike in force, and show the true might of our movement."

"Obviously we all agree, or we wouldn't be here," another cell leader said, "But what exactly are we supposed to do?"

"I think we all know the answer to that," Eloch said, "Our friends in the military have managed to smuggle us all plenty of weapons, right? Well, once the tournament starts and everyone's here, we should go in guns blazing and take out as many Elites as we can."

"That's too simplistic," Bob argued, "Besides which, half the damn Armada will be in attendance. We go in 'guns blazing', it won't take them long to move in and crush us. We need to be precise and surgical about this."

"What a surprise, the guy who's done nothing to actually contribute to the movement doesn't want to make a big move," Eloch sneered.

"Excuse me?" Bob demanded, practically snarling in outrage.

"You heard me," Eloch said, "The rest of us are out there rising up against the system, risking our lives to do so, while your cell just sits pretty on the Massive."

"Are you joking?" Bob shot back, "I'm the one who set up the Dark Irk-Net hub that gave us all a permanent and secure communications network, which is the only reason the movement's grown so rapidly, and I did all that under the Tallest's antennae!"

"So you're a glorified Communications Officer, big whoop," Eloch said, fake yawning. Bob was seriously about to lunge at him, when another cell leader spoke up.

"We're all fighting for the same cause in our own ways," she said, "Perhaps we should listen to what Bob has to say before we dismiss him out of hand?"

Composing himself, Bob nodded his thanks, and proceeded to tell the room his plan, smirking as even Eloch stared at him in shock.

"That… that's insane," Eloch sputtered, "There's going to be guards and Consulars all over the place, you'll never pull it off!"

"Someone like me, all the way at the bottom of our society, nothing more than background noise to most of our kind?" Bob asked, smirking at his newfound rival, "They won't even spare me a second glance. And look, if it it makes you feel any better, we can call your… simpler idea Plan B. Mine doesn't work, then we can go in and shoot up the place."

Eloch glared at the condescending tone that Bob was using, but they could both see that the others had been swayed by the sheer audacity of Bob's plan. So, with clear reluctance, he voiced his agreement to Bob's proposal along with everyone else. After that, it was just a matter of ironing out the details; once they had, the rebels departed as separately as they'd arrived, going off to prepare their parts in the new plan, Eloch being sure to shoot Bob an especially nasty glare as he did so.

"Arrogant _kisgaree_ ," Bob seethed as he and Garuk made their way down the corridor, being careful to keep his voice low just in case anyone was in listening range, "Organizing riots is easy. My work has been key to bringing together those small-scale efforts into something greater, and he acts like it's nothing?"

"No respect," Garuk agreed, as ever an Irken of few words.

"Well, it doesn't matter," Bob said with a smirk, "Once we've succeeded here, everyone will see that I'm the superior leader. And whenever Miz chooses to finally reveal himself, I'm sure to be greatly rewarded in the New Order."

Garuk nodded affirmatively and clapped Bob on the shoulder. Bob barely noticed, allowing a low chuckle to bubble up as he pictured his plan playing out, the great blow he would land against the Empire, and the place he would secure for himself in the annals of history.

Yes, these next couple of days were going to be very interesting…

_Deep Space, Same Time_

The Spittle Runner zoomed through space, zipping around asteroids and flying through nebulae, skimming over planetary rings and chasing comets. In the cockpit, Dib sat hunched over the controls, focus split evenly between piloting and still managing to observe the awe-inspiring sights, while the twins were focused entirely on the latter.

"Wow," Viera said, watching a pod of space whales floating nearby, "Gotta say, I'm starting to see why you guys like this space stuff so much."

"So are you finally going to admit the science side of the paranormal is better than the magic side?" Steve asked teasingly.

"Well, I wouldn't go _that_ far," she replied with an exaggerated eye roll, earning chuckles from the boys. Looking to Dib, she then added, "Also, I've always meant to ask, but especially now — how exactly are you so good at flying an alien spaceship?"

"Meh, the controls aren't actually that much different from some human-made flight simulators I've tried over the years," Dib replied with a shrug, "Besides, I've told you guys about that time I piloted Mercury, right? Compared to flying a _planet_ , this is nothing."

The twins could only nod in acknowledgment; from what they'd heard about that particular incident, neither could disagree with that assessment.

"So," Steve said, changing the subject, "When we get back, who are you going to show this thing off to first? Your dad, or the SEN bigwigs?"

"Neither," Dib said bitterly. When the twins blinked in confusion, he added, "I've already shown it off to both, and they've all written it off as a homemade fake. And I somehow doubt that showing that it's flight-capable now will change their minds."

"Er, right," Steve said, sharing an awkward look with Viera, neither quite sure what to say to that. And before they could come up with anything…

_BAM_

The ship came to a screeching halt, causing all three to jolt forward and bang against the console and canopy.

"Gah! What the hell?!" Dib said, as he righted himself and rubbed his sore head.

"Uh, is the ship supposed to be glowing like that?" Viera asked nervously, pointing at the ship's hull, which was shining with a bright blue light. Eyes widening, Dib leaned over to peer through the canopy as much as he could; from what he could see, the light was coming from above the ship, though he couldn't make out what was projecting it beyond a vague dark shape much bigger than the Spittle Runner.

"Oh crap," he said, "I think we've been caught in a tractor beam!"

"Wait, what?!" the twins exclaimed in tandem, likewise pressing up against the canopy to get a look.

"Is it the Irkens or someone else?" Viera asked, trying not to panic as the other ship started pulling the Runner towards it.

"I don't know, but grab your weapons just in case," Dib said, "Whoever it is just grabbed us, so we better be prepared if they want a fight."

The team quickly scrambled to ready their weapons, Dib slipping on his gauntlets while Steve whipped out a blaster and Viera held up and charged her amulet. A few minutes later, the Runner was pulled fully inside the other ship and was deposited on the floor of a large, darkened room.

" _Attention Irken scum!_ " a digitally-distorted voice called out from the darkness, as a large number of hulking silhouettes with glowing eyes appeared in the shadows, " _We have you surrounded! Surrender, or prepare to be vaporized!_ "

"Huh?" Steve said eloquently, while Dib barely restrained himself from face-palming while still wearing his gauntlets.

"We're in an Irken ship, so they think we're Irkens," he said, before quickly tearing off the gauntlets and hitting the button to pop open the canopy, throwing his arms up in surrender. Realizing what he was doing, the twins likewise dropped their weapons and put their hands up.

"Hang on! We're not Irkens! We just own an Irken ship!" Dib called out to the shadowed figures. There was a moment of silence, then some bright lights switched on… and the trio could only blink as they saw that the "hulking figures" were actually cardboard cutouts being held up and illuminated from behind with flashlights by a group of aliens of a diverse number of species.

"Grr, seriously?!" shouted a horned, grey-skinned alien that Dib recognized from the Runner's database as a Vortian, "Did nobody think to check whether there were actually any Irkens on this ship before we grabbed it?!"

"It's an Irken ship, we kinda just assumed," a thin alien with four arms who was holding up one of the cutouts said in response.

"Well, why didn't you do a lifeform scan to be sure?"

"…We can do that?"

As the Vortian growled in frustration, the humans slowly lowered their arms and stared in confusion. Sharing looks with his friends, Dib finally shrugged and decided to speak up.

"Um, excuse me?" he called out, the Vortian pausing in berating the others and returning his attention to them.

"Uh, right," the Vortian said, awkwardly clearing his throat before composing himself, "Sorry about the confusion, uh, weird hairless ape things-"

"Humans, we're humans," Dib interrupted to clarify, "I'm Dib, and this is Steve and Viera. And you are?"

"I am Captain Lard Nar, leader of the Resisty!" the Vortian proclaimed proudly.

"'Resisty'?" Steve echoed, arching an eyebrow.

"It's not a stupid name, shut up!" Lard Nar snapped, pointing dramatically at Steve.

"…I didn't say it was," Steve replied slowly.

"Oh. Uh, good, 'cause it's not," Lard Nar said, before giving another awkward cough, "Anyway, as long as we're exchanging introductions…"

For the next several minutes, Lard Nar introduced his crew. Afterwards, attention turned to the Spittle Runner, several of the Resisty members crowding around to examine the ship.

"Where'd you even get this thing?" Ixane, a female wearing a robe that completely concealed her body, asked as she looked over the console.

"It crashed in my yard last year. I've been working on getting it operational again ever since," Dib replied, "This was the celebratory test flight."

"It's impressive you managed to scrape this together without any expertise, I'll give you that," Lard Nar said, "Though professionally speaking, I wouldn't be too proud of a ship that was essentially dragged out of the trash."

"But boss, didn't we get _our_ ship from a galactic junkyard?" Shloonktapooxis, the floating cone who was apparently second-in-command, commented.

"That's different! We were desperate!" Lard Nar snapped.

"Well, this is definitely a more positive interaction with aliens than we usually have," Viera said with an amused smile.

"Compared to Zim, Tak, and the others, that's not saying much," Steve noted. Apparently overhearing that, Lard Nar blinked and turned to face them.

"Did you just say 'Zim'?" he asked, holding a hand up to several inches below the top of his head, "About this tall, red eyes, huge ego, screams a lot?"

"You know him?" Dib asked, arching an eyebrow in surprise.

"Ugh, unfortunately. We used to work together back in the day," Lard Nar said with a combination of sigh and groan. Pulling out a device that looked oddly like a smartphone, he tapped at it a couple of times, and then turned it to the humans to show a group of aliens — mostly Irkens and Vortians, with a few members of some other species mixed in — all wearing lab coats and posing for the picture. And there, standing dead center and shoving Lard Nar and another, purple-skinned Vortian out of the way, was the unmistakable figure of Zim, beaming widely at the camera.

"Yeah, those were the good old days, when the Irkens actually treated other races as equal partners," Lard Nar said with a wistful sigh, before frowning, "Until that moron created that Infinite Energy Absorbing Blob of his, and let it eat Tallest Miyuki. Then my people got blamed for it, the alliance fell apart, and now we've been conquered for it. All because that idiot created something he couldn't control!"

"He still does that if it makes you feel any better," Dib commented, "Tends to bite him on the ass, too."

"That sounds about right," Lard Nar said, putting the device back in his pocket, "Anyway, sorry again about grabbing you like that. We were worried that you might be a scout ship and would report us. Can't exactly take that kind of risk, especially not with so much of the Armada gathered nearby for the tournament."

"What tournament?" Steve asked, the humans' collective curiosity suddenly piqued.

"The Irkens have gathered all the Invaders together in one place for a competition, with the winner getting promoted to command the Armada's newest battleship," Ixane explained, rolling her glowing eyes, "It's obviously just a big publicity stunt designed to distract everyone from the Miz broadcasts and all the unrest they're causing."

"The who what-now?" Dib asked, blinking in confusion.

"For months, a masked Irken — or, at least everyone assumes he's Irken — calling himself Miz has been making illegal broadcasts calling for revolution against the Empire's height-based hierarchy, which have been picking up support among the shorter Irkens. Honestly, I'd be impressed, except he's made it pretty clear that he's got no problem with the whole 'enslave the rest of the universe' thing," Lard Nar said, "It's just the same maresh in a different package, far as the rest of us are concerned."

"Wait, isn't 'Miz' just 'Zim' spelled backwards?" Viera said, face scrunching up in thought.

"Yeah. And he _is_ rebelling, just like Zim is," Steve added.

For a moment, Dib's brow furrowed as he considered what his friends were saying, but then he shook his head.

"Nah, I don't buy it," he said, "While I can totally see Zim going with an alias that stupid, I can't see his ego allowing him to not claim credit for something like this."

"Yeah, fair point," Steve admitted, before turning back to Lard Nar, "Wait, you said that this tournament is happening nearby?"

"Yep, it's at Conventia, which is only a few lightyears away," the Vortian replied, "Normally we wouldn't get this close to such a large percentage of the Armada's forces — not after that fiasco last time we tried — but we've realized this is a rare opportunity to strike a mighty blow against the Empire's tyranny."

"Like what?" Dib asked, intrigued. In response, Lard Nar pulled his phone-like device back out, and with a tap brought up an image of an Irken about a foot taller than Zim, with a more rectangular head.

"Invader Larb," Lard Nar practically spat the name out, "The _hefloosha_ who conquered my planet, and as a reward was allowed to take personal possession of our most treasured cultural artifact — the Universe's Most Comfortable Couch."

"A comfy couch? That's your 'cultural artifact'?" Viera asked, incredulous.

"The title's not bragging, it's a literal fact, the result of decades of hard work by the finest minds in all of Vortian space," Lard Nar said defensively, "And now that Irken is using it as bragging rights of how he helped his people stab mine in the back. This is a matter of pride!"

"So you're going to do what, exactly? Assassinate him for it?"

"What?" Lard Nar blinked, "No, we're just going to steal the couch back. According to his Irk-Net posts, he never goes anywhere without it these days, so it'll be at the tournament. We break in and we take it, then we rub it in the Irkens' dumb faces."

"…You're going to break into a place where you just said a good chunk of the Irken military is going to be gathered, so you can steal a couch," Dib stated flatly, "That's the best plan you could come up with?"

"Well what would you have decided to do, huh?" Lard Nar asked, frowning in annoyance.

"If so many important Irkens are going to be there, why not just bomb them from orbit or something?" Steve suggested, "That would take out a huge chunk of your enemies at once."

There was a moment of silence as Lard Nar stared at them, then he turned and glared at his crew.

"Why didn't any of you come up with that?! That's a much better plan!" he exclaimed.

"I _did_ ," Ixane snapped, "I said that this was a perfect opportunity to decapitate the Armada, but then Spleenk said, and I quote, 'that sounds too hard, let's do something else'. And then Shloonktapooxis suggested the couch, and you decided to go with it."

"…Oh, right. I remember now," Lard Nar said, laughing awkwardly, "But, yeah, we'll work out how to do that instead, like you and the humans said. Hey, speaking of which, you three want in on this?"

"Really?" Dib asked, eyes lighting up, "You actually want our help?"

"Sure, why not? You can't possibly be any worse at it than most of the people on this ship," Lard Nar said, muttering that last bit and shooting dirty looks at several of his crew members.

"Ringing endorsement," Viera said dryly.

"Come on, you can't say that taking part in an alien revolution doesn't sound extremely cool," Steve said.

"Sure, it _sounds_ cool, but I've got a bad feeling about it."

"It'll be fine, we've been through worse on our own, and now we've got backup," Dib said, "Come on, let's see if they'll give us a tour of the ship."

With that, the three walked off, following the Resisty members down a hallway that led deeper into the ship.

_Conventia System, Same Time_

Tak and Tenn's Voot Cruiser dropped out of hyperspace on the outer edge of the system, and were greeted by the sight of Conventia itself, the planet's orbital ring filled to the brim with Irken ships of various kinds. The _Massive_ and the rest of the core of the Armada floated apart from this, standing tall and mighty and looming over all the other ships that had arrived.

But what really caught their attention was the huge vessel kept separate from all the rest. While nowhere near as big as the _Massive_ , it looked to be nearly five miles long, weapon arrays running up and down that length. With the curved protrusions covering the exhaust ports at its rear, the tube-like main body, and the arrow-shaped head, the ship looked very much like a medieval battle ax.

"That must be the _Dreadnut_ ," Tenn commented, "Stupid name aside, that is one impressive ship."

"Yes it is. Just imagine what I'll be able to do once I'm in command of it," Tak said, smirking triumphantly at the thought.

"I think I'll focus on what _I'm_ going to do with it," Tenn replied with a smirk of her own as Tak's shifted into a frown and glare.

Before this could develop into a full argument, however, they reached the docking ring and quickly inserted themselves into one of the few vacant spots left. With a flash of light, the two of them and MIMI were teleported down to the planet's surface. Looking around, they saw they were near the central convention hall, several other Irkens that they recognized as Invaders making their way towards a side entrance; realizing this was probably where they were supposed to go, they started walking in that direction.

Reaching the entrance, they saw that a checkpoint had been set up. A scanner had been put up in front of the doorway, flanked by several guards monitoring it. Under the watchful gaze of these guards, Tenn walked forward first, passing through the doorway as her PAK was scanned, the scanner's lights flashing green in affirmation. Then Tak walked through as well, and the scanner flashed red and buzzed an alarm, causing the guard directly on the other side of the scanner — who happened to be Peech — to drop a shock staff in Tak's path, blocking her.

"Sorry, Invaders only," she said, "Everyone else uses the main entrance, and that's not open until tomorrow."

"I _am_ an Invader!" Tak snarled, while MIMI tensed up next to her.

"Really? Because according to this, you're a janitor," Peech replied, gesturing to a datapad displaying the scanner's results. Tak's eye twitched in response.

"The Tallest personally assigned me a planet to conquer! That should override the fact that I haven't been re-encoded yet!" she snapped, shooting a look to Tenn, "Back me up here!"

"Hey, don't look at me. I told you this would happen," Tenn said with a shrug.

"Grah, you're useless!" Tak snarled, before turning back to Peech, "I demand to be let in!"

"Sorry, not happening," Peech replied, as several other guards grew tense at the continuing argument, "Now, I suggest you move along."

"Absolutely not! If anyone deserves to be here, it's me!" Tak said, "If you won't let me in, then I demand to speak to your superior!"

"Uh… you, really don't want to do that," Peech said with a wince, "She's not the type of person you wanna get involved in a dispute over proper protocol."

"I don't care! Get her down here right now!" Tak snapped.

"Fine, it's your funeral," Peech said, turning to speak quietly into a communicator. A few minutes later, during which Tak impatiently tapped her foot while Tenn and the guards stood awkwardly watching her, the door opened and Wiyn stepped out, Mook following behind her with a datapad in hand.

"Alright, what's so urgent?" Wiyn asked, sounding annoyed at having been summoned.

"This janitor is claiming to be an Invader and is demanding entry to the tournament," Peech explained, gesturing to Tak, who glared at her.

"I am _not_ a janitor!"

"You are according to this," Mook said, having scanned Tak with his pad and pulled up her profile, which earned him a glare as well.

"Really, that's it? You couldn't handle this on your own?" Wiyn asked Peech with a scoff.

"Hey, I tried, but she was being belligerent and demanded to talk to you," Peech replied crossly.

"Oh, is that right?" Wiyn said, looking to Tak, "And what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I was personally assigned by the Tallest to conquer a planet in order to prove myself as an Invader, and that therefore overrides the oversight of my not having been properly encoded as one," Tak said, "And if you would just bother to talk to the Tallest about this, they'd easily clear it up."

"Uh-huh," Wiyn said dryly, "Mook, anything on her file that backs any of this up?"

"No, Commander," Mook replied, "In fact, according to this she's AWOL from her assignment detail on Dirt."

"Oh. Well, in that case," Wiyn said, snapping her fingers. In response, Peech and the other guards all leveled their staves at a suddenly surprised Tak.

"What is this?" Tak shouted, as MIMI tensed next to her and even the onlooking Tenn looked shocked.

"You're under arrest for dereliction of duty," Wiyn replied with a smirk, "We all have a duty to the Empire to perform our assigned roles, and you've abandoned yours, so you need to be punished."

"Wait a minute, you can't do this!" Tak said, deploying her PAK legs as the guards started to advance on her.

"Sure I can," Wiyn sneered, "Now seize he-"

"Is there a problem here, Commander?" Darth asked from right behind Wiyn, causing her to jump.

"Stop doing that!" she snapped as she turned around to face him, "And there's no problem, just a rogue janitor trying to present herself as an Invader."

"How many times do I have to explain that I am an Invader?!" Tak snapped, "Fix your antennae!"

"Hmm," Darth mused, eyes glowing slightly as he reached out with his powers to see through everyone else's eyes and properly examine the situation. Taking a good look at Tak this way, he nodded and said, "Ah yes, you're the one who the Tallest allowed to compete with Zim to see who could conquer Earth first."

"Thank you, I'm glad someone around here actually pays attention," Tak said, relaxing slightly as she saw the guards all appeared suddenly unsure what to do in the Consular's presence.

"Considering Zim's not a real Invader either, that's not saying much in her defense," Wiyn said.

"Well, then clearly we should speak to the Tallest and get a direct answer, shouldn't we?" Darth said, his tone making it clear it wasn't so much a suggestion as it was an order. Wiyn grit her teeth at being bossed around, but grunted and nodded in consent.

"Fine. But if they get pissed about being bothered with this, it's on you," she said.

"Understood. Shall we?" Darth said, gesturing to the door before turning and walking towards it. Wiyn grumbled several insults under her breath as she watched him go, before shooting a glare at Tak.

"You, come along and don't try anything else," she snarled, before turning to Peech and adding, "And you come along too. Try to be useful and keep an eye on her."

Peech glared back at Wiyn, but knew better than to verbally respond. Instead, she just turned to Tak and gestured with her staff to follow Wiyn and Mook as they walked after Darth. Tak merely snorted derisively at that, since going inside was what she was trying to do in the first place, so she stomped after the others. Tenn, who everyone else had pretty much ignored during this whole exchange, walked over to match pace with her while Peech brought up the rear.

"Thanks for all the help, partner," Tak spat at Tenn, while MIMI glared at her from her mistress' other side.

"I warned you that something like this would happen. Don't blame me for you being too stubborn to stay out of trouble," Tenn replied evenly, "And besides which, I wasn't about to say or do anything to get on this Commander's bad side; I've heard stories about her."

"Believe everything you've heard," Peech commented from behind them, "She's as vicious as a Snarl Beast when provoked."

"Who asked you?" Tak snapped. Peech only shrugged in response, and the group continued following Wiyn and Darth in silence. Before long, they reached the end of the long corridor they were walking down, and arrived at a set of doors flanked by a half-dozen guards. Said guards looked confused at the group's approach, but at a gesture from Wiyn allowed them all to pass through the doors without a problem.

The room they entered was a ballroom-sized lounge. Lush carpeting coated the entire floor, banners displaying the Imperial and Invader logos ran along the walls, and there were several large and fully-stocked buffet tables scattered around the room. The Tallest sat on comfy recliner chairs atop a platform at the back of the room, surrounded by guards, service drones, Advisors, and a couple of Consulars. Also in the room were a few dozen Irkens in Invader uniforms, standing around and either helping themselves to the snacks or speaking in groups — with one notable exception being Invader Larb, who was laid out on the Universe's Most Comfortable Couch, surrounded by a large group, all of whom seemed to be fawning over him.

"He actually brought the couch with him?" Tak muttered in disbelief.

"Of course he did, the arrogant, lazy _kisgaree_ ," Tenn muttered back, as the group continued towards the Tallest, earning confused looks from everyone they passed along the way.

"My Tallest, a moment of your time?" Darth called out as the group reached the podium.

"What is it?" Purple asked disinterestedly around a mouth of curly fries, while Red sipped a soda.

"We have a minor situation that requires your attention," Darth explained, gesturing to Wiyn to elaborate.

"This janitor is claiming that you made her an Invader, despite the fact that she's not encoded as one and is listed as AWOL from her assigned duties on Dirt," Wiyn said, gesturing to Tak, who shot her another glare.

"Oh yeah, we never did have you re-encoded when we agreed to let you try to take over Earth, did we?" Red commented casually, glancing at the Advisors, "Someone make a note to have us do that later… no, wait, scratch that. Almost forgot that her getting officially encoded as an Invader was reliant on actually conquering that backwater."

"So, she _can't_ partake in the tournament? And I can arrest her for dereliction of duty?" Wiyn asked for clarification, while Tak tensed up.

"Meh, it's fine," Red waved her off, "We okay'd her being on Earth, I guess that overrides any other technicalities."

"But, that's not proper protocol," Wiyn protested, while Tak breathed a sigh of relief.

"Proper smoper," Purple snorted, "We're in charge, what we say goes. So if we say it's okay for what's-her-face here to compete, then it's okay."

"Thank you, my Tallest," Tak said, bowing her head and shooting a smug look at Wiyn; while it was annoying that her leaders apparently didn't remember her name, at least they were forcing Wiyn to back off and acknowledge that she was supposed to be there.

"Yeah, okay, go mingle or whatever. And someone get me some nachos!" Purple said, ending the conversation.

Wiyn grumbled angrily to herself and walked off. Watching this, Tak and Tenn traded looks, then shrugged and walked away to join one of the groups of mingling Invaders who had been watching this whole exchange.

"Well, you two definitely know how to make an entrance," Invader Slacks commented dryly as the pair and MIMI approached his group.

"Back off, Slacks. Don't poke the Digestor," Tenn warned, noting Tak's eyes narrowing in response.

"Hey, weren't we in the same training class on Devastis?" Invader El asked, giving Tak an inquisitive look.

"Yes we were," Tak replied with a smug smirk, "As I recall, you were near the bottom of the class rankings."

"Yeah? Well, I'm the one who actually became an Invader, _janitor_ ," El sneered back.

"That was because Zim caused that damn blackout and cost me my chance at the exams," Tak growled, "If that hadn't happened, I'd have creamed you and everyone else, and I'd be the one you'd all be groveling to instead of that idiot Larb."

"I dunno, just because you were good at the Academy doesn't mean you would have been successful as an actual Invader," Invader Chin said, "Look at Tenn here — top of every class, and she still totally blew her assignment."

Now it was Tenn who was growling as the group laughed at her misfortune.

"I'd like to see how well any of you would have done with a horde of malfunctioning SIRs going berserk in your bases," she snapped, "And I highly doubt any of you would have lasted as long as I did, stranded alone on Meekrob. It wasn't as easy as Flobee's cakewalk."

"Hey! I worked hard on my mission!" Invader Flobee protested.

"Please. Everyone knows that all you did was strap some rocks to yourself, and those idiot rock creatures started worshipping you," Tak scoffed.

"They've kinda got a point, man," Slacks said.

"Yeah, you really got off easy compared to the rest of us," Chin added.

Flobee scowled, and opened his mouth to no doubt to defend his efforts, when a loud beeping sound filled the air. Everyone blinked at the sudden noise and turned to face it, finding that every security guard's communicators were going off at the same time. Blinking in confusion at this for a moment, Wiyn frowned and tapped at her communicator.

"What is it now?" she snarled, "And I swear to Irk, if it's another janitor…"

" _Commander! We have a priority situation at the entrance!_ " a voice shouted over the communicator, " _We need back- hey, what are you doing?! No, stay back! AHH!_ "

"…Hello?" Wiyn asked awkwardly, after the communicator went to silence following that last scream. Meanwhile, everyone else in the room went alert; the Tallest shot up from their chairs while the room's guard contingent all moved to put themselves between their leaders and the door, all the Invaders tensed in preparation for a possible fight, and the Consulars' eyes all lit up as they used their powers to try and foresee what was happening… and they all blinked in confusion.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," Darth said after a few moments of quiet shock, for once sounding nowhere near calm and collected. And before anyone could ask what he meant, the room's doors were knocked clean out of their frame, hitting the floor with a clang and the hallway guards all piled on top of them.

And there, standing in the now bare doorway, hands on hips and teeth bared in a mocking grin, was Zim.

"Boo," he said flatly, breaking the shocked silence that greeted him.

" _You?!_ " Red snarled, shoving guards aside to hover forward and glare venomously at Zim, "You actually have the nerve to show your face here, you filthy _mekrelmar_?"

"Well, why wouldn't I come, my Tallest?" Zim asked as he entered the room followed by a nervous Skoodge and oblivious GIR, spitting the title as he spoke it, "After all, you did send out an open invitation to this tournament."

"Yeah, for Invaders, which you're not!" Purple pointed out.

"Hmm, funny you should say that," Zim said with a smirk, pulling a recorder out of his PAK and playing a segment of the announcement.

" _All active and former Invaders are invited to partake in a competition-_ "

"All active and _former_ Invaders," Zim repeated with a smug smirk, "And while you may have stripped me of my rank, I _was_ an Invader once. So technically, that invitation applies to me too."

There was another moment of silence as everyone processed the fact that Zim had taken the time to exploit a legal loophole, then the Tallest were glaring at their Advisors.

"Why did you morons word the announcement like that?" Red demanded.

"My Tallest, we simply wanted to make sure that all Invaders could participate regardless of whether they were in the middle of their assignments or had completed them," one Advisor said nervously, "We obviously never thought that a self-proclaimed rebel and traitor would take advantage of it!"

"Well, you should have!" Purple snapped, "Throw him out the airlock!"

"…My Tallest, we're not onboard a ship," Peech pointed out, after a moment of the guards all looking at each other in confusion.

"Oh, right," Purple said awkward. Looking around, he glanced at the ceiling with a thoughtful frown and asked, "How tall is this building?"

"Uh, 50 stories," Peech replied, now more confused.

"Then throw him off the roof!"

Everyone watched as a group of the guards shrugged and then obeyed the order, grabbing the Advisor in question and dragging him screaming out of the room. Once they were all out of sight, everyone turned back to Zim's group.

"Now then, as for you," Red said with a scowl, "If you think for a minute that we'll actually let you compete, regardless of what that stupidly-worded invitation says, you're crazier than I thought!"

"See, Skoodge, didn't I tell you?" Zim said to his companion, "Trying to loophole their way out of giving me what I have a right to, just because they're afraid of me."

"What?!" Red snarled.

"You heard me," Zim replied, "You know I'm better than all your precious so-called 'real' Invaders, and will easily wipe the floor with all of them. And you're afraid of how that'll make you look when I do."

Red growled at the insult, and even Purple was frowning at this point. Not helping either's disposition was the mumbled whispers that were spreading among the Invaders and guards as they watched this exchange.

"Okay, you Defective kisgaree. Is that how you want to play it? Then fine, you're in!" Red declared.

"Wait, what?!" several voices shouted at once, Tak's the loudest of them all, "Are you kidding?!"

"You all heard him!" Purple said, "We're letting Zim compete so that we can crush him and show him how inferior he really is."

"My Tallest, I must protest this," Darth said firmly.

"For once I agree with him," Wiyn added, "Letting a wannabe Invader in is one thing, but this traitor shouldn't even be allowed to walk free, much less participate!"

"We're in charge here, we decide what happens," Red snapped, before raising his voice to address the whole room, "I fully expect every single Invader here to kick Zim's _c'horta_ during the tournament. In fact, I'm now declaring a bonus prize of a million monies if any of you 'accidentally' kill him in the process!"

"What about Skoodge?" Invader Spleen called out, "I mean, isn't he a traitor too?"

"Oh yeah," Red said, having forgotten about the fatter Irken, "I dunno, a thousand monies for him, I guess? That seems fair."

"And this coupon to Grub Demon! I don't want it anymore!" Purple added, holding up the paper slip in question.

"That's mildly insulting," Skoodge muttered.

"But, my Tallest-" Wiyn tried to continue protesting, only for Red to cut her off with a raised hand.

"The decision is made," he said, tone making it clear that the matter was no longer up for debate. Reluctantly, Wiyn and Darth both frowned and bowed their heads in acquiescence to the order. Nodding at this, Red turned back to Zim and scowled.

"I'm gonna enjoy watching you get thrashed," he spat.

"And I'm going to enjoy disappointing you," Zim replied with a mocking bow, before turning and marching towards a snack table, Skoodge and GIR quickly following them and everyone else giving them a wide berth.

"I don't believe this," Tak snarled as she watched her nemesis help himself to the Invaders' refreshments, "I had to practically force my way into this tournament, and he just waltzes in and _makes_ the Tallest let him participate?"

There were grumbles of agreement from most of the surrounding Invaders; if there was one thing they could all agree on, it was how much they despised Zim.

"I don't suppose you could, you know, melt his brain or something?" Tenn asked Darth as he passed the group on his way stalking away from the Tallest in a huff.

"Oh, I wish I could, after what he did to Tallest Miyuki," Darth growled, clenching his fists in barely-suppressed rage, "Unfortunately, my powers won't work on him."

Now _that_ caught everyone's attention, the whole group turning to stare at him in surprise at that. Even Tak snapped out of glaring at Zim to look at him with wide eyes.

"How is that possible?" she demanded.

"To a psychic, the minds of others are like beacons in an ocean, easy to see and latch onto," Darth explained, "But Zim… he's like a hurricane."

"Well, that doesn't sound _too_ bad," El said.

"A hurricane made out of barbed wire and broken glass that's been set on fire," Darth elaborated, leaving everyone blinking at the analogy, "It's almost physically painful just being in the same room as him. Trying to actually connect to his mind and exert my powers on it? I'd either end up dead, comatose, or insane."

"Wait a minute, let me get this straight," Slacks said, "You're saying that Zim's so crazy, he's immune to psychic powers?"

"Essentially, yes. I honestly don't know how he's even functional," Darth replied with a sigh, before composing himself, "In any case, I sincerely wish you all luck tomorrow. I don't care which of you wins, just crush that pest."

"Gladly," Tak said, she and most of the others returning to shooting glares at Zim.

Meanwhile, Zim allowed himself some smug satisfaction as he helped himself to some Vort dogs and felt the various hateful gazes burning holes in his back. He was so pleased that he didn't even care that GIR had already wrecked most of the buffet as he stuffed half the table's contents in his mouth.

"I honestly can't believe this worked," Skoodge said, looking around nervously.

"I told you, insult these fools' pride, and they'll do anything to prove you wrong," Zim scoffed, before lowering his voice to add in a whisper, "And now they've handed me the perfect chance to not only prove my superiority, but strike a major propaganda coup. Imagine how much support the New Order will get once someone cast aside as a Defective defeats the best the Elite has to offer. Plus, I get a super-cool battleship, so there's that."

"Yeah, I guess that'd be fun to have, but I'm just worried if we'll even survive this whole thing," Skoodge commented, eyeing the visibly angry crowd warily, "Especially with Nyx outside on her own. I mean, I like her and all, but I don't know if I trust her to not cause any trouble when we don't need it."

"Meh, Ying will keep her in line," Zim said, waving off Skoodge's concerns, "Now let me focus on basking in everyone's envy of my greatness."

Skoodge was pretty sure that "envy" wasn't the emotion that was being directed at them at the moment, but chose not to comment on it. Instead, he decided to grab some of the food that GIR hadn't gotten to yet, and try to relax as much as he could. After all, it was going to be a long wait to the next day, and things wouldn't get any better from there…

_Resisty Ship, Near Conventia, Next Day_

Team Save Earth stood with the Resisty crew aboard the bridge of their ship, looking out the viewscreen at the Armada gathered around Conventia.

"That, uh, that's a lot of ships," Steve said nervously, "Suddenly, I'm having second thoughts about this."

"Don't tell them that, they look like they're all about to panic," Viera muttered back to him, gesturing to the clearly on-edge aliens.

"She's right, you better say something to perk them up," Dib commented to Lard Nar, who was himself fidgeting in his command chair. He jumped slightly as Dib spoke to him, before composing himself and nodding in agreement.

"Okay, everyone, let's stay calm here," the Vortian said, raising his voice to get the room's attention, "We knew what was going to be waiting for us here, and we've taken precautions. This ship is installed with a state of the art cloaking device that will render us completely invisible."

"Are you sure about that?" Dib asked, "I've seen a cloaking device in action before, and it left the person inside the thing it was cloaking visible."

"Hmm? Oh, wait, was it in a Megadoomer?" Lard Nar asked.

"Maybe? I didn't get the name, but it was a mech with two legs," Dib replied.

"Yep, that's a Megadoomer," Lard Nar said with a chuckle, "Before I managed to escape imprisonment, I heard rumors that my fellow scientists were intentionally sabotaging those things by making the cloaks that inefficient."

"Really? Huh, that's pretty clever, actually," Steve commented.

"It helps that the Irkens tend to just blame problems on whoever's nearest at hand rather than figuring out who's actually responsible," Ixane noted from the crowd.

"Right," Lard Nar said with a nod, "Anyway, as I was saying, the Irkens won't see us coming. If we were getting into a fight, they'd probably still be able to find us and shoot us down, but as it is, we'll just slip right by them down to the surface; there's plenty of spaces where we can land the ship and hide it until we complete the mission. Which, to clarify, will be to sneak into the main convention hall, and plant bombs to blow up all the Invaders and other Elites… and maybe steal the Couch back if we have time."

The humans, and Ixane, all rolled their eyes as the others all cheered at that last bit.

"We shall move in swiftly, but quietly," Lard Nar continued, starting to get amped up, "We shall strike a mighty blow against the Irken war machine, the likes of which they've never seen! This shall be the first step in liberating all our worlds, and then-!"

"Hey boss, are we the red thingy or the green thingy?" Shloonktapooxis called from where he was floating next to a console.

"…What?" Lard Nar asked flatly, as the wind was taken out of his sails by the non-sequitur.

"Well, on this screen there's a red thingy heading toward the green thingy, and I can't remember which is supposed to be us," the flying cone responded, pointing with the bottom of his body at a screen on his console.

"Isn't that the battle scanner?" Ixane asked, her and Lard Nar's eyes widening in alarm.

_BOOM_

The entire ship suddenly rocked, everyone barely managing to stay on their feet.

"What the hell was that?!" Dib shouted, bracing himself against a console.

"Missile strike! Presumably from them!" Ixane responded, pointing out the viewscreen, where several Shuvvers were rapidly crossing the void of space towards the Resisty's ship.

" _Attention unidentified vessel,_ " a voice broadcast over the bridge's speakers, " _You are trespassing on the territory of the Irken Empire. Surrender immediately or prepare to be obliterated!_ "

"Evasive action!" Lard Nar shouted to the pilots, who jumped to their stations and sent the ship flying away, the Shuvvers chasing after and firing missiles and lasers after them, "And someone start returning fire!"

"But I thought you said we were cloaked!" Viera said, shouting to be heard as most of the aliens started running around and screaming in panic, only a couple grabbing the weapons controls to start shooting behind them back at the pursuing Irken ships.

"We are! Or we're supposed to be, at least!" Lard Nar exclaimed, frantically tapping away at a screen on his chair's armrest, only for it to flash something at him, "Wha… what do you mean it's offline, you hunk of junk?! I personally installed it and it was working fine!"

"Wait, are we talking about that big glowing tube thing we installed in the hall across from the break room?" Spleenk asked, being one of the few not panicking.

"Yes, why?" Lard Nar asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"Oh, well, when I bought that new espresso machine, it wouldn't work in any of the outlets in the break room, so I unplugged the big thing to make room," Spleenk explained.

"You did what?!" Lard Nar snarled, "You moron! If we don't die, I'm gonna kill you!"

"Forget that, we need to turn the cloak back on!" Dib pointed out, "Where is it?"

"Down the main corridor, fourth door on the left," Lard Nar said, pointing towards the bridge door, "It was the only place we could install it without having to completely overhaul the power system-"

"We don't care!" Viera snapped, as she and the boys ran out of the bridge and down the corridor, the ship continuing to shake around them as the dogfight kept unfolding. After a few moments, they reached their destination, and entered a room the size of a large maintenance closet. Taking up most of the space was a metal and glass tube the size of a wardrobe… and next to, a rather mundane-looking espresso maker, plugged into an outlet surrounded by a bunch of discarded cables.

"Do we even wanna know why aliens have what looks like an Earth-made espresso machine?" Viera asked, as she yanked it out of the outlet and stepped aside to let Dib and Steve get to work on reattaching the cloaking device.

"We can worry about something like that later," Dib said as he tried to get the cables back into their sockets, "Does this one go here?"

"No, I think it goes here," Steve replied, jamming a cable into an outlet while directing Dib to another one. After a few minutes of trial and error, they seemed to get it right, as the cloaking device started glowing with a bright light cycling through the entire visible spectrum, and the ship stopped shaking.

" _Hey, great work!_ " Lard Nar's voice came over the intercom, " _We're cloaked again, the Irkens seem to have lost track of us._ "

The humans all breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing that.

"Okay, that was intense," Steve said, "I mean, not quite as much as our usual fights, but still."

"Yeah, I think it feels a little different when we're just passengers rather than actually participating," Viera noted, "Either of you feel like we're just a little out of our depth here?"

"Maybe, but I also figure we're already committed to helping out here, so we can't leave yet," Dib said, "Come on, let's get back to the others."

Before long, the trio were back on the bridge, watching as Conventia got bigger on the screen. Seeing them enter, Lard Nar waved them over to join everyone else.

"Fortunately, it looks like that patrol thinks we're still hiding out at the outer edge of the system," he said, "Now, that little hiccup aside, we can land and properly plan our next step."

"Land where, exactly?" Steve asked, looking at the screen, "It looks like the planet's one big city."

"Yeah, but that's just another example of wasteful Irken engineering," Ixane sneered, "They convert an entire planet for a single purpose, and then even at the best of times only use a fraction of its total surface area."

"Right, which means there's plenty of abandoned areas we can hide out in," Lard Nar elaborated, as the ship entered the atmosphere, "We'll just land in one, and then-AH!"

The Vortian's explanation was cut off as the ship suddenly shook violently again.

"Now what?!" Dib and Lard Nar exclaimed in tandem.

"It looks like the transition from vacuum to atmosphere agitated the damage we got from that missile impact," Ixane reported from where she was examining a console.

"You didn't stop to check to see how bad that was?" Viera snapped, "I'm not a mechanic, but even I know you're supposed to do that!"

"Complain later!" Ixane snapped back, "Right now, we need to focus on the fact that our power systems are compromised! If we lose power to the engines, we'll drop out of the sky!"

As if on cue, the lights and consoles all suddenly went dead. Everyone was left staring at each other in the dark for a moment, and then the ship was plummeting at rapid speed.

"Reroute emergency power to the thrusters to slow our descent!" Lard Nar shouted to the pilots, "Everyone else, brace for impact!"

The next few minutes passed in a blur of panicked screams from humans and aliens alike, mixed with swears from the pilots as they desperately hammered at their controls, all while the ground grew rapidly closer on the screen. Then, with just a few hundred feet left, the ship shuddered as its thrusters sprang back to life; the ship started to slow, but it clearly wasn't enough.

With a massive thud and bang, the ship hit the ground hard. Everyone was sent flying off their feet from the impact, and then there was only darkness…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's that for a cliffhanger? Haven't done one of those since the climax of Season 1. Hope it's not too sudden.
> 
> Anyway, gotta say, this chapter somehow really ballooned out of my original plan. I was originally going to show the first challenge or two of the tournament, but we were already running long, so I figure I'll just put everything into Part 2. Which will be pretty busy, between the tournament itself, Zim screwing things up for everyone to make himself look better, and Bob and the other NIO operatives putting his mystery plan into action (while butting heads), all while Team Save Earth and the Resisty are going to be running around.
> 
> Speaking of which, I cannot tell you all how long I've waited to introduce that lovable bunch of freedom-fighting idiots. I know I didn't that much with them overall in this chapter, but that's going to change, and it'll definitely be fun.
> 
> Also, final side note, but if anyone's curious about the Dreadnut's appearance, it's based on the Blade Ship from "Animorphs" (I grew up in the late 90s/early 00s, sue me).
> 
> Until next time, please comment, and stay safe out there!


End file.
